Three weeks later...

"Time of birth, 6:58pm!"

The baby cried out and he wailed in the doctor's hands.

I stared at the baby and felt my eyes burn, but wiped them.

Although my first son was just born, I couldn't feel even an ounce of excitement. I was still grieving the loss of my husband, Romeo. Dino, on the other hand, was back at home. He couldn't mentally handle being here. I didn't blame him, though. We were both grieving in our own ways, but I wanted to witness the birth of our first son.

"Lucio, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" The male nurse quietly asked, and I nodded.

I got up and took the pair of funny-shaped scissors, then cut the umbilical cord connected to the baby's belly. I sat back down once I was done, and a female nurse smiled softly as she helped wipe the baby down.

"Lucio, if you could please remove your shirt for skin-on-skin contact."

I pulled my shirt off and leaned back on the couch as the small baby was placed on my chest. He was still a little slimy and bloody, but I didn't care. Although his face was a little funny looking, he was so adorable as he cried. His cries grew quieter and I stared down at him. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed his dirty blond hair.

"I guess you'll be taking after your bubba. Unfortunately, he's not here right now. He's at home."

I patted the babies back, leaning down to kiss the top of his head as my eyes began to burn. "Your papa would've been...s-so excited to witness your birth, and he'd probably be upset at your bubba, but he would understand how we're feeling. He's probably watching from somewhere in the room, jealous that he can't hold you."

I couldn't help but begin to tear up and shook my head, quickly standing up and handing the baby off to a nurse as I left, grabbing my shirt and stepping out as I heard the baby begin to cry.

"Lucio!"

I ran down the hall and into the waiting room where Dad and Papa were sitting. They saw my face and didn't have to ask any questions as I fell to my knees in front of them, crying into Dad's torso.

"Cry all you want, baby. It's ok." He sniffled.

I did just that. I cried and cried, not caring that there were other people in the room with us.

My body grew weak and I kept my eyes closed, holding onto Papa's right hand. Their hands rubbed my back and I whimpered quietly, falling asleep on my dad's lap.

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Dino's POV:

"Bubba, I'm gonna go out to get food. Do you want something?"

"You don't want anything from here? Your dami made food yesterday, and there's still some leftovers."

I softly shook my head. "I'm ok, thank you, Bubba. Dami's food is always delicious, I'm just craving something different."

"Alright, be safe on the road, ok?"

"I will, I promise." I kissed Bubba's cheek, and he gave me a warm smile.

I left the house and walked across the yard to get to my house. I unlocked the car and got in.

I made sure to check if my black duffel bag was sitting in the back, which it was, and I started the car. I waved at the guard and he waved back, then let me through.

I headed towards the nearest shopping center and parked outside of the Chinese place. I ordered my food, got back in the car, and began the drive to the treehouse.

It didn't take long to arrive and so I parked once I reached the gate. I grabbed my duffel bag and pulled out a small bag, then closed and locked the car. I headed down to the treehouse, but ripped the baggy open, and pulled out a blunt. I pulled out a lighter from my pocket and lit the end, inhaling once I noticed the soft glow on the end.

I walked a bit past the treehouse up to the flower field, and walked up to the headstone. "I know I shouldn't be smoking, and you'd probably yell at me and tattle on me to Lucio and our parents, but this is how I'm coping with your...with you not being around..."

I stared down at the marble slab. Romeo's name, date of birth and death date were engraved in the smooth stone. Underneath the dates had some cheesy sentences that were used often on headstones, but I knew Romeo was the type to call it cute, or whatever.

Even Lucio had made fun of me for picking the typical 'a beloved husband, brother, son, and friend' sentence but he agreed that Romeo would've wanted something like that on his headstone. He was always a cheesy guy, but that's what made him Romeo.

What made him even more cheesy is that we were told he literally died right after Lucio and I were taken away. He waited until we couldn't even see him to take his last breath, that guy.

My poor Romeo. I bet he felt sad seeing us cry for him while he was living his last few minutes. Deep down, I knew he wanted to see us smile one last time, but we couldn't give that to him.

"I miss you more and more everyday, baby. I know Lucca..." I shook my head as my eyes burned. I sniffled and took another deep inhale from the blunt before blowing out. "I know baby Lucca's birth is today, and you're not there at the hospital to see him be born, but neither am I. I know you're mad at me for not being there with Lucio, but I just can't feel anything for the baby right now. I want to be selfish and mourn your death, so that's what I'm doing. I'm here at your gravestone mourning and coping in my own way."

I crouched, brushing the heart that had 'R x L x D' engraved in the middle. "Maybe in a few weeks I'll be able to go back to somewhat of a normal life, but just know that there will forever be a hole in our hearts, and you're the only person that could fill that empty space. We'll remain here, on earth, while you're stuck underneath it."

I snorted at that as I rolled my eyes. "Ok technically, you're not really underneath it. I mean, we left half of your ashes here and then we have the other half back at home in front of the tv, but you know what I mean." I chuckled to myself, inhaling the blunt. "From someone else's perspective, I probably look psycho, but I don't know how else to cope, ok?!"

I straightened up and walked away to pick a few white flowers from the field, then walked back to the headstone. I placed it on top and leaned down to kiss Romeo's headstone.

"You know I love and miss you everyday, right? All I can do is think about you. Lucio and I used some pillows to stuff your shirts and hoodies so we can be reminded of your scent. We use your cologne on ourselves just to be reminded of how nice you smelt." I smiled down, imagining Romeo smiling back at me.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to move on, but it's not about moving on, right? It's about learning to cope with it and learning to live with the fact that we'll never see you again. You won't come home one day saying, 'hey, it was all just a prank, I hope you guys aren't too upset with me.' But we would be upset with you because it's not funny to joke about death." I sighed, standing up. "You left us widowed, Romeo, and we're really upset. But I hope in the future once Lucio and I have left this world, we can see you again. I think we will. For now, you'll have to watch us from behind the scenes and watch as our kids grow without you. They won't understand how much they'd be missing out on."

I stared at Romeo's headstone while continuing to smoke for a few more minutes.

I only smoked when I wanted my mind to relax and take a break. If not, I'd be in bed crying and not wanting to get up. I know our family is against smoking and drinking, but I needed it. Just for a while longer until I was doing better mentally.

Lucio had shut down on me a bit, and he'd stay silent at times while zoning out. He'd also write small notes and leave them in a jar by Romeo's ashes.

We had decided to cremate Romeo since we didn't want him separated from us. We wanted to have him near us while we were home. We'd like to think his presence was always where his ashes were, so that's the main reason we decided on cremating him.

"Alright, I've smoked enough, now I'm gonna head home. I love you, Romeo. I'll meet you at the house." I chuckled to myself as I began walking away. "Fuck, I hope you're still around, baby..."

I put the blunt out and headed for the car, but stopped when I spotted Bubba leaning up against his car with his arms crossed.

"Shit..." I blinked and rubbed my eyes, knowing I smelled and looked dumb. I walked up to him and he stared down at me, so I began to apologize but he stopped me.

"Don't apologize, Dino." Bubba sighed and uncrossed his arms, tucking his hands into his pockets. "I know you're still grieving, we all are, but I'm not particularly happy you're smoking."

"I know, Bubba, and I'm really sorry, but I just don't want to feel so sad everyday. I know Romeo...I know he's gone, but I can't stop thinking about him. I dream about him every night and I think about him all day long. I want to cry and I miss him so much. I just want to hug him and hold him, but I know I'll never get to do that again!" My eyes filled with tears and I let them fall. "I-I wish it was me in his place instead of–"

"Dino, don't say that." Bubba stepped forward and grabbed my face. "Don't ever say that again. Yes, you're sad and you miss Romeo, but how could you not? He was your husband. You're mourning. You're grieving. These things take time. It might take months, it might even take years, but you will get better. Both you and Lucio will get better. Continue to live on for Romeo, we all know he would've wanted that, but also acknowledge that you're grieving him. Acknowledge it instead of trying to numb it because it'll rush back so much more worse."

My bottom lip trembled and I cried out, Bubba pulling me into his arms.

He gently rubbed my hair and kissed my head. "I know it hurts, baby, but it's better to cry it out. Let it all out, whatever it is you're feeling. I'll be right here for you."

And so I cried for a short while, accepting what I was feeling. My heart felt a bit lighter and I inhaled Bubba's scent once I was calm enough. I pulled away and looked up to meet Bubba's red eyes. He smiled softly, and wiped his eyes.

"I'm also still grieving one of my babies' deaths."

I gave him a weak smile and reached into my car to pull out tissues. I handed some to Bubba and we blew our noses.

"Are you gonna tell Dami and Papa?" I referred to me smoking, but Bubba shook his head.

"I won't. As long as you promise me you won't smoke ever again. If you wanna talk with someone, our family is always here, Dino." He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. "I love you, baby."

I sighed into his shoulder. "I love you too, Bubba. Thank you."

We pulled away and I told Bubba I would meet him at the house. He drove away and I looked back towards the flower field before getting in the driver's side and heading home.

Once I parked, I threw away the extra baggy I had with a pre-roll and headed into the house to shower. I brushed my teeth once I finished and went to Bubba's house with my food. I ended up sharing some with him and we cuddled until his phone rang.

"The baby's been born?" Bubba looked at me and I sat up. "We're on the couch. I'll ask him if he wants to go." Bubba looked at me in question, gently squeezing my hand. "Do you wanna go see the baby?"

I thought about it for a few moments before taking a deep breath in, exhaling quietly as I nodded.

Bubba smiled and pulled the phone back up to his ear. "We'll be there in a bit."

I looked down at my lap and thought about how Lucio was doing. I hoped he was doing ok, at least maybe better than me.

"Are you sure you want to go, Dino?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I wanna be there with Lucio, but I also want to see the baby."

Bubba patted my left hand and so we headed off after grabbing our stuff. I drove to the hospital which was about half an hour away and we went up to the floor Dad had told us.

I could feel my hands grow sweaty and I swallowed thickly once we walked into the waiting room.

Lucio was on his knees in front of Dad and Papa, and I quickly walked over but Papa had me slow down.

"He rushed out of the room and started crying. He fell asleep. I told the nurse we'd let her know once Lucio wanted to go back in if he did." Papa brushed the back of Lucio's head. "We think he panicked. We're just waiting for him to wake up."

I nodded and sat down on the right side of Dad while Bubba sat on my other side. I stared down at Lucio's face and noticed his red, puffy eyes. My heart hurt at the fact I wasn't here for him. I thought maybe he'd be doing better than I was, but I was completely wrong.

We waited for Lucio to wake up, and once he did, he sat up with a whine. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at Dad before turning to me and throwing his arms around me.

"I couldn't handle seeing the baby without you or..." Lucio sniffled, squeezing my shoulders.

I shushed him quietly and told him how much I loved him, and how sorry I was for not being here with him. He told me it was ok, but I still felt bad.

We held each other for a while and I followed Lucio to the restroom so he could freshen up. I watched him through the mirror and played with my wedding ring.

"Do you want to go in and see the baby?" I asked quietly.

Lucio turned around to face me just as he finished drying his hands. "Do you?"

I looked at him for a few seconds before slowly nodding. "I do. I should've been here earlier to see when he was born, but I just couldn't. Bubba made me realize some things, so I think I'm ready now."

Lucio walked towards me and hugged my waist, leaning up to peck my lips. "I think I'm ready now that you're here."

With that, we headed out and told our parents we were gonna go see the baby. They gave us smiles and wished us luck while Lucio led me to the room.

He gently knocked on the door and it quietly opened. We stepped in and I looked towards the bed, seeing Valeria with a baby on her chest. Jose was next to her quietly talking with her, but turned our way as we neared her bed.

She giggled quietly as she rubbed the baby's back. "We had to break protocol and I had to give the baby skin-on-skin."

Lucio shook his head with a small smile. "Better you than anyone else."

"He's been fussing a lot, though. I think the little guy knows we're not his parents." Jose commented, leaning his head down to get a better look at the baby.

"Lucio, are you feeling better now?" The same nurse who opened the door asked.

"Yes, I'm sorry about earlier. I just—"

"Please don't worry about it. I understand." She gave him a warm smile, and turned to me. "Are you the other parent?"

"Yes, I'm Dino."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Patty. I do need you guys to sign the birth certificate, so I'll ask you some questions after, but first," she led us to a couch which fit Lucio and I perfectly, "which one of you wants to do skin-on-skin?"

Lucio gestured to me. "Dino will do it."

I gave him a questioning glance and he wiggled his brows, making me shake my head with a playful smile.

"Alright, Dino, please remove your shirt. I'll be transferring the baby over onto your chest, so lean back and relax."

I did as the nurse said and watched her take the baby from Valeria's chest, then bring the baby over. My heart began to pound as Patty brought the baby to us and gently laid him over my chest.

The little baby whimpered quietly and his little fists rested on my skin as his tense body began to relax. I could feel his little heartbeat through his soft skin and the corners of my eyes stung as I stared at the little baby in awe.

"Damn, he's adorable..." I sniffled, looking at his head. "He has my hair."

"I know right." Lucio laughed softly, kissing the top of the baby's head.

We took a few minutes taking in the fact our son was right in front of us before the nurse rolled over a small table, quietly reading off it. "Baby boy was seven pounds six ounces. He was twenty-two inches long. We took some stamps of his little feetsies, too."

Patty held up the white piece of paper which had a baby-blue border. We awed and the nurse quietly laughed.

"One thing I need to ask, though. I've already got the last name, but what's the baby's first name?"

Lucio and I looked at each other with knowing looks before turning back to the nurse. I decided to let Lucio answer while I brushed the baby's hair.

"His name will be Lucca. Lucca spelt with two Cs."

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Guys, I am totally NOT crying. I know all of you are, but it's ok. We can all cry together because the next chapter is the last one...

What do you guys think?

Anyway's I hope you guys enjoyed! See you all next time, BYE!!! :))

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