River Elliott: the one that is always there for anyone in need. River Elliott: the one that can take a beating for the sake of someone they love. River Elliott: the one that will, without a second thought, give something up for the well-being of a stranger.

-

"River? River, you still there?"

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah, just spacing out. What were you saying, again?"

"Your mom! How can you let her treat you like that, it's abso-"

"Camren, I'm sorry, I really don't want to talk about it right now, can I call you back later?" I say quickly, losing my patience.

"Oh, sure, of course, sorry about that," she says, stunned, and hangs up immediately after.

I shouldn't've said that. I upset Camren and now she'll never talk to me again. How could I be that stupid? Stupid sick person.

Shut up, shut up, shut up. You are not stupid; she does not hate you; she could never hate you; she understands. She understands that sometimes you need to be left alone and sometimes you say things that you don't mean.

No, she doesn't, she just tolerates me; there's no way she could actually even care.

But she does, she does and you know that.

I guess so, but... I can't help but doubt it.

-

They're not always perfect, but sometimes they try to be. Sometimes they think that maybe just this one time, just this once, they can be who they want, and be their "perfect." But then someone has to bring them back to reality, to stop their passion, and to stifle their hope.

-

"You can't just sit in here and daydream all the time! You need to get out, interact with people, and GET. A. JOB!"

"Ok, sure, fine, can you get out of my doorway, now?"

"When you agree to be a woman and not mope around."

I cannot roll my eyes harder. "Yeah, sure 'Mom,' I'll be a 'woman' as soon as you accept that I'm not. Now can you leave before I have to call the police? You disowned me, remember? Not the other way around."

-

They're not always strong, but sometimes they try to be. Sometimes they think that they can get past this, they can live, they can just be as strong as everyone else is--the way they want to be. But then the anxiety and depression gets to them, and it's back to square one.

-

I can't believe her, how could she do that? How could she think she could just waltz in after NINE YEARS and tell you what to do?

"To Hell if I know, she's a madwoman," I say to myself, taking another swig. "She wouldn't even care if I was gone, why does she care if I have a job or not?!"

-

"Gilda Radner once said that 'some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next,' and Stephanie definitely lived her life with that in mind."

-

Their name didn't go on their tombstone, somebody else's did. The little girl that died a long time ago. Her name went on it. Not River Elliott, not the person they'd become. It was who she was, oh their poor little Steph.