Chapter 16 - Decisions
Henrie had just come home when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly caught him hoping to be Tod, and he was right. He was perplexed to read those five words that echoed in his mind in a whirlwind of thoughts:"We need to talk urgently!"
He couldn't understand why Tod was like that. He could only think if Lucy would have told him anything, and so now he would be wanting to talk, he would have no other explanation for it. But he couldn't help himself and just opened the message and started typing:
"Okay, just tell me the time and place."
Shortly after sending the message he wondered if he would have sent it in a very disconnected way, as if he didn't care what was really going on, but he ended up distracting his mind with the chores at home. It didn't take long and he was interrupted by a high-pitched sound. It was the doorbell, he thought it was strange, because his parents were travelling "Would they come back sooner? But would they have the key so why not use it?"
His mind was invaded by these thoughts on the way to the door, but everything seemed to resolve when he opened it. He was startled to realized that Tod was there, right before his eyes, at his door. He didn't react for a few seconds, trying to understand.
"I texted that I was coming..." Tod said in a lower than normal tone.
"Sorry! I was packing some things here that I didn't even notice..."
"If it is not a good time, I can come back another time, no problem." Tod replied sheepishly.
"NO!" Henrie screamed. "No... I mean... You don't have to you can come in." Henrie explained a little stunned by the whole situation.
Tod just nodded and walked in sheepishly as if they were completely strangers.
"Sorry, everything is a mess." He said immediately grabbing a pair of underwear that was lying on the sofa and holding it.
"No problem, I'll be quick!" Tod replied.
"As well?" Henrie couldn't understand what was going through Tod's head, and why he was like that.
"I know you are kind of weird..." He snorted. "And I imagine it must be difficult for you, I mean, a relationship like this all new, everything different, and all of a sudden everything falls apart and doesn't seem like what you expect... I understand..."
"Wait... I don't understand what you're getting at, Tod."
"In fact, you know very well... I don't want to be a burden on you. I don't want you to be thinking about it. I know, that maybe at another time, another time, but I know." He said with teary eyes almost red staring at Henrie.
Henrie was unable to understand that this was happening. He had promised Lucy that he would find a way to resolve this, but he didn't think Tod would end it.
"But Tod doesn't have to be that way..." Henrie tried to speak, but Tod didn't seem too open to listen.
"I understand. You don't need to explain. I know it will be better for both of them, I already realized that I couldn't control myself in just one day with you like this." He exclaimed. "And I honestly don't know If I could take on more, sorry." He said walking towards the door, but before he was interrupted by Henrie's arms wrapping him from behind in a soft cry close to Tod's ear.
Henrie couldn't help but cry, but this time there was a sound. A sound that practically cut Tod's heart on hearing it, and could do nothing. He just whispered between sobs:
"Why Tod? Why?"
They stayed in this position for several minutes, felling each other's hearts beating at the same pace. Tod wiped his tears and turned to Henrie wiping the tears from his face as well.
"It will be better for us, at least, until I try to understand all of this..." He said staring at Henrie.
Henrie, in turn, couldn't help himself and came over and kissed Tod's forehead as more tears streamed from his eyes. He couldn't control it, he was losing the one he loved and couldn't do anything to change that, because he knew that when Tod put something on his head nobody could take it off.
"I love you." He sobbed, "and I'll always love you." He whispered.
"Me too..." Tod replied with a low tone.
Tod felt all the love in that kiss and just hugged Henrie very tightly as if they were one and then released him out the door without looking back between cries, while Henrie sat on the floor and started to cry for minutes.
The two spend a good part of the night crying thinking about all the moments that had spent together and if it was really happening. Tod, in turn, managed to sleep between cries, but Henrie didn't, and stayed on bedroom balcony thinking about everything so much so that his cell phone ended up disturbing his moment. When he realized he ran to catch him trying to be Tod, but ended up making his situation worse, as it was Lucy:
"Good night, I hope you have already thought of your excuse to end this relationship, your time is running out... kisses, sweet dreams."
Henrie couldn't help himself and he didn't know if he was crying because of what had happened or because of the anger he felt at that moment. He just tossed his cell phone on armchair and went to bed trying to sleep.
The next morning, Henrie looked like he had ben crushed by a tractor. His body was heavy, his face slightly swollen from the night in tears. His mind whirled in thoughts trying to assimilate what was really going on. He got up a little dizzy and went to get ready to go to school, he even thought about missing school, but he knew his duties were important, so he decided to get ready.
Before leaving the house, he finished packing some things that were thrown around the house, ate something just to cheat his stomach and left for the bus. When he got on the bus, he simply found a place in the middle of the bus and sat all down, until the bus started to turn into Tod's street. His eyes automatically started to look for Tod's face at the stop. It was inevitable, but quickly his mind was flooded with everything that had happened the night before making him forget that idea at once, but he had already noticed that Tod wasn't there.
His heart sank in a way that he couldn't explain in words. He then followed the path to the school sadder than he was minutes ago. But that didn't stop him from thinking if Tod was okay and he wasn't on that bus.
Tod, in turn, was hitchhiking with his mother who ended up realizing that he was not doing well, both physically and psychologically. He looked so confused that he barely remembered what is obligations were for that day, but his mother decided to try to get him to talk a little:
"Are you okay, honey?"
"Yes..." He replied in a low tone almost whispering.
"Are you sure? From what I know, you don't have that morning mood. Does this have to do with Henrie?" She asked braking the car at the traffic lights and the staring at him.
When she realized, Tod was crying, but there wasn't sound, she just wrapped her arm around his neck and stroked the back of his neck.
"Calm down son... Everything will be resolved. I don't know what happened, but know that if you want to tell me I'll be here ready to listen. I will never leave you alone!" She said with teary eyes and immediately turning her attention to the traffic light. She was felling strange because her desire was to hug him and protect him from the whole world, but in the middle of that traffic it seemed impossible.
Tod was crestfallen the entire way, until he approached the school. He arrived shortly after the bus left Henrie. It was still before class time, but he stood his ground and decided he wasn't going to be shaken. But he was surprised by his mother who had just pulled him in and gave him a bear hug. He could feel all that maternal energy overflowing through that hug. Tod felt like he was protected from the whole word, even though his heart was all broken, that hug comforted him in an inexplicable way. They stayed like that for a while until his mother released him and kissed him on the head, saying goodbye to him.
"It looks good and anything just call me..."
Tod just nodded with head, with a wan smile but I notice that the scene Tod saw right after that wasn't one of the improvements. When he turned to open the door. He spotted Henrie a few feet away, but he was not alone. He was with someone completely clinging to his neck, in a very strange affectionate way. Tod's stomach churned instantly, all that feeling he was trying to get rid of came back at the same moment, only it seemed twice as bad. It was her; it was Lucy who was clinging to Henrie, kissing his neck.
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