Good luck, Therrie.

That's the last word she heard from Bianca when she sprang out of the health facility. She wasn't expecting anything, but a good thing, she got out safely and no one had been suspicious enough to know that she escaped the premises though she has an idea that they will start looking for her as soon as they've noticed that she's gone.

She knew the consequences and even though she only had a few hours to create this plan, she still believes she'll find her way out of this trouble.

She crossed her fingers so much that she hope Bianca wouldn't tell a word about it. Iyon lang naman ang pinangangambahan niya. May CCTV din ang facility, but at that moment, all the cameras are dead so she believed she wouldn't be caught at that precious moment. That's how she thought the electric interruption would be a good time to escape.

Thanks to Bianca.

Pero ngayon, hindi alam ni Therrie kung saan siya pupunta. She has a plan to go places, but it felt like she just lost herself once again. Ang daming tumatakbo sa isipan niya ngayon at hindi niya alam kung anong susundan sa mga ito. Hindi na lang isang emosyon ang nawawala sa kanya pati na rin ang buo niyang pagkatao.

Sumagi sa isip niya na puntahan si Hernan pero agad na pumapasok sa isipan niya na lubos na magtataka iyon si Hernan kung bakit tumakas si Therrie. Ni hindi na nga niya alam na pumasok si Therrie sa isang mental health facility no'ng umpisa, pinalagpas niya lang 'yon pero ngayon na tumakas siya sa kagustuhang alamin ang nangyayari sa kanya, Hernan would be so confused. Therrie put herself on a very complicated situation right now and she doesn't know where the right place is for her. She's totally confused. Literally.

Ano nga ba talagang gustong mangyari ni Therrie? Does she really want to figure out who she is or she's already getting tired of this cycle she has to face every single day?

But she was so thankful that she was already out of the hell she puts herself in. She threw that 6-month goal away. Hindi na niya kailangan 'yon.

She look up at the sky and it was grey. Nagbabadyang umulan ang kalangitan. She has a plan... but that's to escape the facility and now that everything is like a new slate for her, naging blanko ang lahat para sa kanya. Wala siyang plano ngayon. Kailangan niyang mag-isip ng panibagong plano at kung paano siya makasu-survive gayong sarili lamang niya ang kaagapay niya.

May puting bus na huminto sa tabi ni Therrie at tinatawag itong sumakay.

"Saan ang biyahe niyo?" tanong nito sa konduktor. She has no clue. Hindi niya rin napansin kung may karatula bang nakasulat sa harapan ng sasakyan.

"Sa bayan lang."

"Ah, okay... ingat kayo. Wala akong pamasahe."

"Hindi, miss. Libreng sakay 'to. Hindi mo ba alam?" tugon sa kanya ng konduktor.

Walang maisagot si Therrie at sumunod na lang din naman sa sinabi ng konduktor at naghanap ng mauupuan sa pagitan ng ilang mga tao. She has been inside the facility for two months at hindi niya alam kung anong nangyari sa loob ng dalawang buwan na 'yon. A lot of things happened. Para bang isinilang muli siya ba walang kaalam-alam sa mundo at kailangang paghandaan kung ano man ang darating sa kanya.

It's hard for Therrie to deal with herself... lalo na ngayong kailangan niyang isugal ang lahat. Hanggang saan nga ba aabot ang lahat?

Habang nag-iisip si Therrie nang kung anong gagawin niya. Nahagip ng mata niya ang tinitingnan ng babae sa kanyang phone. To her curiosity, she stares at the screen for so long that she didn't realize she was looking at her boyfriend's picture with another girl... and they're very sweet.

She wanted to ask why she was with a girl, but she has to keep in mind na iyon ang klase ng trabaho ng boyfriend niya. He's an artist—a famous celebrity to correct that. Though hindi iyon big deal para kay Therrie dahil hindi naman pinaparamdam ni Hernan na siya ay isang big deal personality and he cares so much for his girlfriend. Hindi naman nagseselos si Therrie, she was just wondering why he wouldn't said a thing about it dahil noon bago pa man siya pumasok sa health facility na 'yon, Hernan is excited to tell everything to her.

Now she's just questioning her relationship in her mind. Meron pa nga ba silang dalawa? O baka naman super overthinking na lang itong ginagawa niya kaya kahit ang picture ni Hernan with another artist ay ginagawan niya ng issue?

She just lost her tolerance, but not jealousy. Ngayon pa nga lang, inaalala na niya kung anong mawawala sa kanya.

She even wished she would lose it all so she won't have to suffer from it. Nakasasawa. Paulit-ulit at sa araw-araw na dumaraan, hindi na niya rin nakikilala ang sarili. Para bang unti-unti ng nawawala kung sino nga ba talaga si Therrie Tenorio.

She's just losing one emotion every day. Kapag may nawala ngayon, babalik iyon bukas ngunit may isang mawawala. It's a cycle... she wasn't able to notice it until she got into college and learned more about psychology—that's why she ended up taking a psychology course for herself which she wasn't able to finish. She regretted it, but she hopes she could come back soon and maybe by then, she knew how to deal with her own self—the chaos within herself.

Hindi nakatiis si Therrie kung hindi ay inagaw niya ang phone ng babae at mabilis na nag-type sa comment section.

Buong gulat at pagtataka naman ang namutawi sa mukha ng babae at inagaw pabalik ang phone nito. Nilingon siya ni Therrie nang bawiin ang phone nito sa kamay niya.

"Ano sa tingin mo ate ang ginagawa mo? Magnanakaw ka ba?"

Umiling si Therrie bilang depensa. "Hindi... may gusto lang ako i-comment do'n sa picture ni Hernan." Napangiwi at taas na lamang ng kilay itong babaeng inagawan niya ng phone. "Ah... boyfriend ko kasi si Hernan. Hindi man ako madalas nakikitang kasama siya, but I'm his girlfriend."

Gustong humalpak sa tawa no'ng babae pero pinigilan na lang din nito ang pagtawag pero bakas sa pagtaas at baba ng balikat niya na halatang nagjo-joke lang itong si Therrie.

"Ayos lang 'yan, ate girl. Lahat naman ata ng babae sa mundo gustong maging boyfriend si Hernan at maging girlfriend niya. Oh, I really hope so pero wala naman akong nabalitaang may girlfriend na siya and the girl he is with, they looked good together. Sana silang dalawa na lang ang mag-jowa. At ate, ipaaalam ko lang sa 'yo na kung uulitin mo mang mang-agaw ng phone ng ibang tao, they wouldn't hesitate like what I did. Huli ka kaagad... pero I think mas bagay ka sa mental," pabulong nitong tugon na hindi naman nairinig ni Therrie.

Hinayaan at pinalagpas na lang din naman niya ito. At this moment, wala siyang magagawa kung hindi ang sumugal sa kapalaran niya.

She needs to keep Hernan out of her mind for a while dahil mas may bagay siyang kailangang pagtuunan at hindi iyon ang relationship niya sa lalaking iyon. Well, it's also important for her, but she wouldn't even risk getting out of the health facility just to meet her boyfriend. That's not the point she would get Bianca into this mess of her.

She thought Doctor Carmona doesn't really help her. She's been taking meds there, but there's no improvement or anything else like some do. Most of the time para siyang bangag o kaya naman lutang. That's what the meds do to her, but now with her changing habit of losing one of her emotions.

Tomorrow she could lose to feel love, to feel nothing, to be compassionate, especially to be happy. It could be so bad when happiness is stripped away. It does happen a month ago, but she just stayed in her room for the whole day because it will just affect the people around her. She doesn't want to feel bad about it.

Not that long when they finally reached their destination, malapit na lang din naman ang apartment na tinutuluyan ni Therrie pero hindi niya alam kung hanggang ngayon siya pa rin ang nakatira doon.

When she bound to pass some people, umiiwas siya. Siya na kaagad ang lumalayo dahil ayaw niyang may madamay pa. Her wardrobe doesn't seem to be different... though her shirt has a logo from the facility. She still looks so normal, but for her, it's like she's carrying a virus that may affect people and she's avoiding that to happen.

She may not know kung nakahahawa ba ang kondisyon niya. Hindi niya 'yon sigurado dahil no'ng nasa loob pa siya ng health facility ay hindi niya rin malalaman dahil karamihan do'n ay may pinagdaraanan katulad niya.

Hindi kalaunan nang marating niya ang apartment building ay agad siyang tumungo sa room nito. Nang hawakan nito ang doorknob at itutulak na sana niya paloob ang pinto nang malamang sarado ito. She forgot she has no keys in herself. Karamihan ng mga gamit niya ay naiwan niya sa health facility though Hernan got a spare key pero hindi niya tatawagan ang boyfriend niya just to get inside her room. She doesn't want for him to know where she is.

Therrie wasn't able to open the door. She has no phone to call the landlord so she just headed to the rooftop and lay herself down on the ground to take asleep. Masyadong mahaba pa ang araw at hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin. She's also hungry. She wasn't able to eat her breakfast back there, but she used to on resisting the pain... well, that's what she feels most likely, losing to feel any form of pain at all.

She stayed on the rooftop for a few hours—well, the whole day. Nagising na lang siya ng gabi na at naisipan niyang bumalik sa floor ng kwarto niya baka sakali na may makakita sa kanyang katabing unit at bigyan siya ng pansin. She just need to get a few things and then she'll leave once again.

She sat in front of her room unit and still no one was there to help her. Does she even needed some help? Sa tingin niya, hindi niya kailangan ng awa o tulong ng ibang tao. Kaya niyang mabuhay ng mag-isa. She just need a hard reason to believe that she can make it.

When the midnight strikes, Therrie's still wide awake and it seems like there's nothing change within herself. Malalalim ang bawat paghingang binibitawan niya. She has to stop feeling bad about her condition. Kailangan niya lang maging matatag para malagpasan niya itong problema niya.

It's just a problem she thought... magagawa niya ring pagtagumpayan kung ano man ang dapat niyang gawin.

Maya-maya lamang ay napalingon si Therrie nang marinig ang ilang boses na umaalingawngaw sa hallway at patungo 'to sa direksyon niya. Tinitigan niya ito hangga't sa huminto ang isang babae at lalaki sa tapat ng pinto ng unit niya. The girl even put the keys out of her purse, but before she could open the door for them, tumapon ang tingin nilang dalawa kay Therrie na nakaupo sa gilid ng unit nila.

"Taga-rito ka ba, miss?" tanong ng babae.

Hindi sumagot si Therrie at napakunot na lamang ito ng kanyang noo. "Hindi ko alam... bakit niyo natanong?"

"Wait, she looks so familiar..." panghuhula no'ng lalaki.

"Ah, wait. Oo nga!" dagdag no'ng babae. "Ikaw ba si Therrie Tenorio? 'Yong dating occupant sa unit na 'to? Binabalikan mo ba 'yong mga naiwan mong gamit no'n? Good thing we have it on storage. Do you want to get inside while we're getting it for you?"

Walang naisagot si Therrie kung hindi ay tango na lamang. Inaalayan siyang makatayo ng lalaki at pinatuloy sa loob ng kwarto.

Agad na umikot ang tingin ni Therrie sa paligid at hindi niya lubos na makilala kung saan na siya ngayon. This doesn't feel like home for her. Parang nasa ibang lugar na siya. She just left her unit two months ago and never said a word to her landlord and now she's coming back here na meron ng ibang taong nakatira.

She sat on the couch, waiting for the couple to get her things back, and as soon as they got her things, agad niya iyong kinuha.

"Gabi na, Therrie. Saan ka pupunta ngayon? You know, we just went to a friend's party and it was such a fun whole day. Why don't you stay with us? We don't mind."

"Okay..." mahinang tugon ni Therrie.

She stayed in with them, but all throughout the night, she heard them having sex all night and their noises were such a great distraction. She gets up and looks for some money in their stuff. The good thing here Therrie found something that would suffice her need.

Five thousand? It's already enough for her kahit kinuha niya lang 'yon.

She grabbed a bag filled with her clothes, Therrie left the unit, and still no places to go. She has no place in mind, but to get away from this place. Iyon lang ang nasa isip niya and if there's such thing she would do, it's to escape this reality she lives in. It's always something she doesn't want to wake up with.

For everyone, to live every day is a blessing, but for Therrie, it's a curse she has to deal with every goddamn time.