Where Taehyung met a guy and starts babbling puns to impress him.

The leaves rustle as the cold winter wind blow. Taehyung scrunches his nose and tug his scarf higher to cover half of his reddening face. He knows it's stupid to wait outside, when he have to permission to enter the building. He's shy. That's why. He take out his phone and dial Jimin's number, who quickly answer after one ring.

"Chim why are you taking-"

"TAE WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG?!"

"I'm waiting out-"

"I'm waiting inside! Hurry up!"

And the call ended. What a nice bestfriend right?

He grunts and enters the building he entered million times before. Jimin's apartment, obviously Jimin is a rich kid. He drag his feet inside and sighs in relief once he felt the heater. Jimin's apartment is just 5 minute walk from Taehyung's dorm so it's pretty easy to barge in Jimin's room anytime he want to. He bows and politely shake his head at the old man at the counter, who smile at Taehyung and offer him some coffee. Taehyung doesn't like plain, black coffee.

Taehyung waits for the elevator door to open. And when it does, a crying pretty girl runs past him, whispering 'jerk' and 'just wait and you'll see' again and again. He just simply shrug because maybe the girl slip and hurt her knee? He punch the buttons and wait for the door close. Taehyung whimpers when he try to look up and his bangs covered his view. He raise his hand to touch his hair whilst humming to himself.

maybe i should cut my hair and change hair color? He thought.

When he reached Jimin's floor, he check the items in the paper bag (new eyeliners, lip balm, and BB creams) before twisting the door knob and walking in.

"I'm he- what the flipping pancakes!"

He quickly shut the door as soon as he open it, Even though they known each other since they were in diapers and been best bro since sixty-nine ever, Taehyung is a sensitive, innocent and pure little angel (as Bambam described him) who never seen someone naked except himself. So when he saw Jimin with no shirt, he's panicking. His virgin eyes are slightly tainted now.

Taehyung dramatically sigh when Jimin opens the door for him and mumble a sincere sorry because a traumatized Taehyung is hard to handle (based on experience) so Jimin quickly told the younger to 'dress up' because they're invited in the annual party celebration in the middle of January. Yep. Apparently, it was hosted by the Dean (Kim Junmyeon a.k.a. Suho). Rumor has it the Dean is pooping money. Taehyung believes this when he found out the Dean is dating an angel. Yixing is an angel, he's a very nice guy.

"Listen up kid," Jimin snap his fingers after he pushes Taehyung to sit on his bed, "Tonight, there will be a lot of famous guys that will be attending!" He squeals and twirls around the room.

"Famous guys? Like Michael Jackson- wait wait! Let me guess! Iron Man?!"

Jimin face-wall. He forgot, Taehyung lives under the rock.

"No no, you see my little fella-"

"I'm not little, excuse you."

"there are lot of things you still need to know about this planet."

"You're making me sound like an alien from another planet or something.." Taehyung pouts and picks up a suspicious half-empty bottle under Jimin's bed. It says 'Lubricant', what is that?

The older of the two snatches the bottle and throw it behind him, "Yes exactly! Now let me tell you who is who."

Taehyung just nod but then he notice a long, thick, and black thing on Jimin's feet, "Wait, what's that?"

"Oh it's my dild- shit." He quickly toss it away and it landed at his backpack. Great. "Wait, Tae! Can you stop distracting me? I'm teaching you something very, very important."

"Okay, please hurry."

"And why?"

The orange haired guy smiles sheepishly and said, "I have to pee.."

Jimin only rolls his eyes and pushes Taehyung towards the toilet. Taehyung lock the door, (he's such a kid, trust me) and quickly mind his business. As he wash his hands, there's something that caught his attention. Beside Jimin's stuff, he saw a black box. He chect it out of curiosity and he regrets it because there are bunch of English words he can't even understand so he read the name letter by letter.

"V... I, B, R, A, T, O, R..? What is that?"

The sound of knocking and Jimin's voice startle Taehyung and the strange box fell out of his grasp and lands in the toilet bowl with a not so quite 'plop!' sound.

"Uhm, yeah. I'm done."

He opens the door and Jimin drag him back to his bed. Good thing, he didn't notice the strange thing.

"Okay, let me start so we could leave and we won't be late, okay?" He waits for Taehyung to nod and when he did, he take a deep breath,

"There will be Jin, he's known as the Princess Pink in our campus and he's dating Rap Monster, you know, the underground rapper who have a very high IQ..?"

"I don't know them."

"Yeah, of course you don't." Jimin mumbles and scratches the back of his neck. "Suga will be there too, he's an underground rapper also and he owns a studio, bro. I also heard he'll be the DJ later. He's the cutest guy you'll ever see. He have this gummy smiles and-"

"Sugar?"

"NO, it's- nevermind. My cousin, J-Hope, will be there too. You know, the guy who stole your first kiss-"

"Please," Taehyung whines, "Don't remind me of that."

"I don't know about you but I like that scene so much." He laughs as he saw Taehyung huffs and crosses his arms.

"And last but not the least, the Golden Maknae will be there too! He's famous in Instagram who lip sync songs and his attractive face is so darn cute and he have the voice that will make you feel giddy and damn his smiles are somethine to die for and you should see his body- when you see him, you'll probably drool-"

"What's his name?"

"Jeongguk, why? Interested?"

"No, so I could avoid him at all cost."

"But why?"

"From your description, he seems like a fuckboy."

The loud noise and the smell of sweat and alcohol makes Taehyung want to go home and cuddle with his lion plushie but Jimin is pulling him inside before he could even protest. Jimin drags him toward the bar to get them some light drinks and a coke for Taehyung. Taehyung doesn't like alcohol.

"Wait here, I'm going to look for Hoseok."

And with that, Jimin disappears. Taehyung glances at the middle of the room where people are rubbing their sweaty bodies as they sway at the song. The room is pretty dark and Taehyung is afraid someone will ask him to dance and soon enough, a guy taller than him ask him to dance. Taehyung politely decline and pretends to answer a call (he have no other choice) as he walks toward another door. As he walk by, he notice some are making out in the hallway and he have to cover his eyes just to avoid himself to faint.

When he opens the door, Taehyung is glad that he found the garden. It's really cool and there's no one outside. Nope, someone is outside. He notice that the guy is also holding a coke in his hand while sitting on the grass. Guess his not alone, huh? He quickly put his phone back to his pocket and make his way towards the guy.

"Hey, Wanna go on a picnic?" Taehyung sits next to him, showing his bright, boxy smile to the stranger, "ALPACA lunch."

The other frowns for a while before snorting,"What the hell?"

"What are you doing here though? Don't you want to party inside?" and then Taehyung stand up and jumps excitedly, "Oh! Let's have a garden party! LETTUCE TURNIP THE BEET!"

This time, the stranger laughs (and Taehyung found it cute, especially when he saw the bunny teeth. He mentally coos) "Well, that was ONIX-pected."

"I know it's cheesy," Taehyung flips his bangs, "but I feel GRATE!"

This time, the stranger is on the ground, clutching his stomach as he laugh so hard (Taehyung thinks his laugh is very beautiful and god, he wants to record it) and Taehyung grins, sitting down again.

"Stop making me laugh," The stranger with bunny teeth wipes the tears in his eyes, "you'll make me PUMA pants."

Taehyung snorts and playfully slap the other's arm (and he let it linger a little longer to feel his biceps, damn boy), "Sure, whatever."

"Oh, I have an idea!" The stranger pull out his phone and taps something before placing the phone in front of him, "What did the grape say when it was crushed?"

Taehyung blinks and peek slightly, he's recording himself..?

"Nothing, it just let out a little WINE," and then he winks (Taehyung found himself staring because wow, the faint light outside make magic on his face and the stranger looks like an angel) before saving it and types something on his phone before turning towards Taehyung, "Your turn!"

"What do I-" And then Taehyung was shoved towards the stranger's side so they can be seen together on the screen of the stranger's phone (Iphone 6s plus, nice one bro). He notice the other tap and hold something and he said, "What do you call a fake noodle?"

Taehyung automatically answer with, "An impasta." before he knew it and the stranger is back on typing again.

"What should I put here?"

"PUN-TAE-stic"

The other guy rolls his eyes before typing what he suggested, "What's your IG?"

Taehyung blinks. IG? What's that?

He heard his phone rings before he could ask the stranger what is IG (and if it means something so explicit, then it'll be a no no) and he stand up and bow and running back inside. He forgot about Jimin. wow.

But of course he turn back to look at the stranger and shout, "Don't fart in an Apple store! They don't have WINDOWS!"

And then he's gone back inside the noisy and stinky place. He wish he could stay outside a little longer to avoid the smell and noise (and to talk more with the cute-slash-hot guy),

Meanwhile, the stranger outside laughs to himself and reads the notifications on his phone.

♥ 269 likes
im.a.whale01 with pun-TAE-stic guy atm ;D
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demnfeelsbruh what the- I SHIP
bambam1a HOLY SHEEZ IS THAT TAEHYUNG?
whalienna #punTAEstic lol
canyouturnoffyourphone You know him? @bambam1a
bambam1a Yes! He's my bro! @canyouturnoffyourphone
baekhyuncockatoo That's Kim Taehyung, he's majoring Music too
babyoil she's pretty
cottonbuds he's a guy @babyoil
kookiesandcream omg oppa! i ship #kooktae now! look @kookieberry
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He blinks. He's also majoring Music but he never saw the other. So he decided to ask.

im.a.whale01 @bambam1a @baekhyuncockatoo what year?
baekhyungcockatoo 2nd, my child
bambam1a I should tell Tae to make an IG account soon! hawiuhgdakd wait for Alien!
kookiesandcream can't wait for tae oppa~
pretty.poop gosshhh~ #relationshipgoals everyone!
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And the next day, while he's in the middle of the class, his phone vibrates. Since he's pretty bored and the teacher is not even paying attention to his class, he slip his phone out. He open his Instagram app and he almost fall off his chair when he saw the notification,

taelien.1230 started following you. 2h

author's note:
A NEW FANFIC YASS
that Whalien the end tho also TAELIEN.1230 and IM.A.WHALE01 does not exist in IG, pls don't use them ;;
and the puns, oh gosh. I'm giving the credits to google for that.

i'll update on christmas day. <3

comments? please?