⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Chapter 9

I was on all fours in a dimly-lit room. My eyes could barely make out what was in front of me; there was a pistol on the kitchen table toward the edge, blood was dripping to the spot on the floor below my nose and there were guys sitting on the couch with the light of the TV reflecting off their faces.

I tried to stand up, but a searing pain spread across my back like a raging fire touched my bare skin. My screams remained unheard as I pulled myself up with the edge of the table and oxygen crawled out of my lungs. I gasped for air.

No one was helping me.

My vision was in and out, but I knew that the men on the couch were fixated on the football game.

I was nothing but a ghost to them.

I was fighting for air in a room full of people, but no one heard me.

Suddenly, the front of my shirt was gripped by a strong hand. Just when I remembered how to breathe, the oxygen escaped and was too far away from me to seep back into my lungs.

I was flung into the back, sliding door with such force, the glass shattered all around me. Shards pierced through the skin on my face. I screamed in immense pain, but I was unheard by neighbors.

Or maybe they heard me. They just didn't care.

Or they were too scared of the beast inside to call for help.

I jolted awake in panic. My mind drifted back to being inside that abusive bastard's apartment. The punches. The slaps. The beer bottle against the side of my head. Him stripping off my pants and underwear and executing unjustifiable things.

That wasn't how I imagined I would lose my virginity. Prince Charming never came. I was stuck with the villain taking it from me.

He gripped the front of my shirt mere seconds before his hand slapped hard against my cheeks.

I gave into the pain.

I was tired of fighting.

It was like an iron grip clamped around my throat, making it impossible to breathe. Unless you counted the wheezing coming through my mouth. My heart was spazzing out of control, the walls were closing on me and my mouth felt drier than the Sahara desert.

He punched me square in the nose, blood dripping to the floor. All I asked was for his friends to lower the volume on the TV.

They were being too loud.

I was doing homework.

Was that too much to ask?

Olive, who I forgot was even here, rushed to my side. She frantically rubbed the small of my back while I desperately tried to take deep breaths. I was here. Not there.

He was behind bars, surrounded by prison guards who were trained to keep the criminals inside the barbed wire. I made it out of that relationship alive. The wheezing ceased and I slowly leaned back against the pillow.

"Are you feeling better now?" Olive's arms were wrapped around me. It was me who was fresh out of a panic attack, but it was her who looked frightened. Her chest was quickly moving up and down and her eyes were wide and alert. "That's quite a way to wake up. You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry."

"What the hell just happened?"

"It was just a nightmare, but I'm fine."

Olive tightened her grip around me and continued to trace light circles on my back.

The sweeter dream streak was now officially over. It'd been a while since I had a nightmare about ghosts and zombies, let alone my tormentor. Gray was arrested five years ago. The nightmares should be gone for good. This one came out of nowhere and they came back worse than I remembered.

"I'll cook you breakfast."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I lost my appetite. If I took a bite of anything, I'd throw it all up right away.

Everywhere I looked, I was reminded of the nightmare. The pain. The tears. The screams. His friends hearing me suffer, but sitting on their lazy asses not giving a shit about what was happening.

It was all I could think about. I shoved my anxieties and fear deeper inside my chest for Olive's and my mom's sake. I wouldn't want to freak Olive out any more than I already had and if mom found out, she would go all 'mama bear' on me.

My phone pinged.

Shrieking at the sound, I stared at my phone like it was a flesh-eating bug that was crawling up my skin. Since I started receiving those creepy texts, my phone had been added to my list of fears.

My biggest fear was that, with each ping, I'd be haunted by another creepy text that would keep me up all night. Slowly, I leaned forward and switched the screen on only to sigh in relief when I noticed the new message was from Zach.

Zach:

Gotten any new messages from that creep?

Bella:

None so far.

-

Olive and I planned a girl's day out at Sally's Sweets later today. She took over my bedroom to do her hair and makeup and get dressed for the day while I was stuck downstairs in the living room.

The only entertainment I had was the TV playing Friends and laughing to myself as I recited the lines in unison with the characters. Most of them weren't even the iconic ones. This was what a shitty night of sleep did to you. It makes you delirious.

Mom, who I thought was already at work, took a seat on the arm of the couch. She randomly reached out to cradle my cheek and I could see the concern laced in her eyes. "Olive told me you had a nightmare, love."

And there it is.

"Was it about...?" She didn't need to say his name. Bits of pieces of the dream were already coming back to me by simply thinking of it. My mom bawled her eyes out when she discovered the truth of what was happening and she blamed herself for letting it happen.

She would barely sleep and eat, even after the man that hurt me was hauled away in the police car. She was diagnosed with depression and had to take antidepressants every night, but pills couldn't solve anything. She kept telling me that she should've known that something was up.

Gray was the one who threatened me with a gun if I ever fought back.

Gray was the one who sexually abused me.

If it was anyone's fault, it was Gray's. Not mine. Not dad's. Not the boys'. Definitely not mom's.

My silence was enough of an answer.

"I'm so sorry, my love. When you were born, we promised to never let anyone hurt you, but that turned out to be a lie." She squeezed her eyes and sniffled, this sight alone breaking my heart. "Since you were a toddler, we would always tell you that we'd never let anything bad happen to you, but... but... we didn't see that monster coming."

"Mama, this is exactly why I told Olive not to tell you anything. I knew you'd get all emotional about it. Obviously, it wasn't your fault. No one's blaming you. It was simply a test from God to see how strong I was. But now, it's over, mama. Please stop crying."

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and nodded, her eyes downcast on her fingers. "You're right. You're right. I'm just... so sorry that you had to relive it in your sleep. When you sleep, you're escaping from reality. You're supposed to sleep calmly and wake up refreshed. It's not supposed to bring up bad memories."

I never thought of sleep like that. The way I thought of it, it was just something you do every night and wake up from every morning. Something to pass the time until the sun came up.

Mom cleared her throat and swiped her tears away with her fingers. "Anyway, have you received any more texts from that creep?"

"No, not yet."

"Good. And if you get any more and he texts you nonstop for a week straight, I'll give the phone company a call and see what we can do about getting you a new phone with a new number." She played with my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear.

A small smile touched my lips, but seconds later, something clicked. The nightmare. The constant creepy texts from an unknown number. Could Gray have been the one texting me?

-

How did I not think of that before?

No one else would've sent me creepy texts like that.

Did he get out?

Did he escape?

Should I tell my parents about the possibility that it was him?

Hell no! They'd totally freak out! Mom had an emotional breakdown at the mention of the nightmare. Imagine if I tell her he might've escaped.

"Bella!" Olive didn't shout loud enough to turn heads, but loud enough to snap me out of my overthinking spiral. "What are you thinking about?"

I cleared my throat and shook the horrid thoughts out of my head. "I told you not to tell my mom about that nightmare."

Remorse began to flood her eyes as she rubbed her hands together and clenched her teeth. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just," her facial features relaxed to express genuine concern.

That was among the attributes of Olive that I loved. She cared about me and if something happened to me, she wouldn't let it go.

"We have sleepovers all the time and... I'd never woken up to you having a panic attack like that. That scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what to do in that situation."

Her eyes were staring off into space as if she was taken back to what she was watching this morning. I would've been worried if the roles were reversed as well. "And you skipped breakfast, you refused to buy a frozen yogurt. Are you alright?"

The sight of her strawberry frozen yogurt mixed with chocolate and topped with strawberries and gummy worms looked mouth-watering. My stomach growled simply by thinking about food and looking at the deliciousness that sat in front of me.

As tempting as it was to feel the flavor dancing on my tongue, I couldn't eat one bite. It could be a reminder of the cold ice pack I'd have to treat my black eyes and bruised cheek with.

"I'm okay. I just... I can't eat right now. The memories of the nightmare are... you know, still lingering on my mind." I rubbed my temples and squeezed my eyes shut, bits of pieces of the nightmare coming back to me.

I tried to stand up, but a searing pain spread across my back like a raging fire touched my bare skin. My screams remained unheard as I pulled myself up with the edge of the table and oxygen crawled out of my lungs. I gasped for air.

"Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Yes, of course! How are you feeling about Kayden now?"

I sighed. "I don't have a choice but to get over it. I don't think they'll be breaking up anytime soon. I just have to deal with it."

Kayden wasn't the only gentleman in California. Maybe I'd find someone else who treated me like a princess or maybe I won't. In the meantime, at least I had my best friend and that was all I ever needed.