⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ASSAULT AND RAPE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Chapter 12

A red light was flashing in my head. With all my heart, I knew I shouldn't be doing this. Skipping school to visit with my abusive ex. In order for him to leave my best friend the hell alone, this was what I had to do.

The closer I got to his new apartment complex, the more my palms felt sweaty and the more I felt the lump sitting in my throat. I stopped in front of his complex and hesitated to walk in. At least this was a new place. This place didn't contain any bad memories for me.

Zach:

Where are you?

I thought we were gonna drive to school together.

Bella:

Just running an errand.

My feet carried me to Gray's apartment on the second floor. With a shaky fist, I knocked on the door. It didn't take long for the door to swing open with him on the other side. The malicious smile that I detested so much greeted me as he leaned against the door frame.

"I knew that getting to that... smoking hot best friend of yours would get your attention."

Nothing had changed since he got out of prison; the pungent smell of cigars was still lingering on him and there were empty bottles of alcohol strewn across the kitchen table.

He put the prison gym to good use. His biceps were still big and I noticed the fresh-looking tattoo of a cupcake that Amgela was talking about.

I couldn't bring myself to talk. Every attempt came out as a breath or a strange noise. In a soft voice, but still making sure that he could hear, I finally spoke.

"Let me get one thing straight. You can do whatever the hell you want with me—" I was cut off by the mischievous smirk on his face and his eyes that were looking me up and down.

The sight of him licking his lips twisted my stomach.

"—but you need to leave my best friend the hell alone. She doesn't deserve that."

Seeing him again after five years made me feel all kinds of things. Nauseated. Terrified. In shock. Letting him do what he wanted with me made me feel physically sick, but it was better me than my best friend. I wasn't left with a choice. He stepped closer to me-close enough for me to smell the alcohol stench of his breath.

"Do you really mean that, cupcake?"

Puke climbed up my throat, but he wouldn't want to have sex with me if I smelled like throw-up, so I swallowed it down my throat. Cupcakes were automatically removed from my diet because it would remind me of his sickly sweet voice calling me by that word. I nodded.

"Now promise me that your little friend won't be reporting me to the police. Otherwise..." He caged me in between his arms that were planted on the wall. My eyes were downcast, but his fingers tilted my head up to look at him. "you'd wish you were dead."

Isabella Price, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?

"I promise. As long as you promise to never hurt my best friend again." Trusting him would be a dumb mistake.

Who would trust their monster to not ruin another girl's life? He cupped my face in his hand. I tried to move my head away, but he gripped my chin with his thumb and index finger.

"Good girl. I promise. Come on in, cupcake. I'll show you a good time." He opened the door wider for me to walk inside and he left his hand on my back as he led me to his bedroom.

The nausea in my stomach intensified. Memories triggered the tears that were building up in my eyes to spill down my cheeks.

This is for Olive

This is for Olive.

This is for Olive.

-

The greasy shine, the pepperoni, the cheese on the pizza didn't look appetizing. The only reason why I bought it was because I needed to put something in my stomach, but each time I brought it to my lips, the sickening feeling would increase tenfold. I clamped my hands over my mouth and swallowed the vomit taste back down.

"Where the hell were you this morning that took you so damn long?" Zach slammed his lunch tray on the table.

His interrogating gaze was boring into the side of my head. My concentration on what they were saying went in and out as they were talking about a pop quiz they had in class. I was too busy staring at the greasy pepperoni pizzas, chocolate milk and apples sitting on their trays.

I winced at the feeling of his hands on my bare skin. Fighting back wasn't an option because I told him he could do whatever he wanted with me as long as he left my best friend alone.

I let it happen.

I allowed him to touch me intimately with his lips leaving a trail down my breasts.

I kept my own mouth shut, but there were still tears racing down my cheeks.

Another one.

Then another one.

"Bella!"

Kayden snapped a finger in my face to get my attention. All eyes were on me; even the other students around us were turning heads at me. That was it. There was no holding it back anymore. I sprung out of my seat and made a beeline to the restroom, whipping open the first stall.

I pulled my own hair back as I bent over the toilet and spilled everything out of my stomach that was waiting to be released. There was a hand lightly rubbing my back, but I didn't have to turn around to know it was Olive.

Vomit was dripping from my lip and the pungent smell filled up the small space, only making it worse. Once I was done, I pivoted around so my back was against the toilet and hugged my knees to my chest.

"How are you not grossed out? I literally just threw up."

"I don't care. You would've done the same to me. Are you okay? Are you sick?" She used toilet paper to wipe off the vomit that remained on my lip and checked my forehead for a fever. She was the best, caring friend I could've asked for. That made what I did all the more worth it.

-

You can do it, Bella.

Tell her.

She's just as much of your best friend as the boys are.

She deserves to know.

"Remember when I told you that I knew, first hand, how it felt to be sexually harassed?"

Instantly, she realized where I was going with this. She rapidly shook her head and held both of my hands with hers. "We don't have to talk about this."

"No, we do. We were the first people you told about what happened, it's only right to tell you what happened to me." Hesitantly, I took lungful breaths and scripted where I should start.

"This man approached our table at a coffee shop when we were in eighth grade..." The whole story spilled out of me; the physical abuse, being raped, being flung through the window. She wondered why there were no scars on my face to which I explained that I used concealer to cover them up.

Next was describing the fear that held my chest hostage every time I stepped through that door and the pain the bruises caused with every punch. By the end of it, Olive was in tears. She said she couldn't believe the man who touched her was the same man who abused and sexually harassed her best friend.

"So the nightmare that you had the other day..."

"—was about Gray."

"And when you refused to eat anything the rest of that day..."

"—my appetite was ruined. All I thought about was what happened in the nightmare and how Gray's friends didn't do shit to help me."

"That's the worst part! They knew what was happening. They were witnesses to your torment and suffering. They just let it happen without an ounce of guilt touching their faces. Not even the neighbors did anything?"

"That's not entirely true. They called nine one one when they heard me scream as I was flying out the window."

"So where were you this morning?"

This part I didn't have the heart to tell her. She was the sweetest human being to ever walk this planet. Knowing her, she'd feel guilty for what happened this morning and apologize time after time over something that was nowhere near her fault.

I glanced at the boys through my lashes and I saw, at the corner of my eyes, Olive following my eyes. Getting the hint, she excused herself to make all of us hot chocolate. Their eyes were burning into the side of my face as I stared at the door that Olive just walked out of.

"We're waiting. Spill."

I sighed. I mentally prepared myself for how they were going to react. Yelling. Perhaps screaming. Calling me an idiot for even considering going to his apartment.

Just rip it off like a bandage, Belles.

What else can you do?

"I went over to Gray's apartment—"

"You what?!" They exclaimed at the same time.

"How could you go anywhere near him?!" Zach yelled. His face was flushed red and his eyes darkened in unbridled anger.

Kayden was the one that tried to remain calm. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. He remembered how scary Gray was when he screamed at my face and took that into consideration. Yet, another reason I had a crush on him. He never once got angry with me. "What did he do to you?"

My hands were sandwiched between my legs and I shamefully peeked up at Zach who was shaking his head and scoffing. "You let him touch you, didn't you?"

"I didn't have a fucking choice!"

"What the fuck do you mean?! You always had a choice! Say no!"

"I couldn't! It wasn't that easy! I couldn't stand seeing my best friend cry over the same man that I cried over! I had to make him promise to never hurt her again! And he said—"

No.

Don't go there.

You already told them the important parts. You don't need to tell them any more than you don't have to.

"And he said what?"

I sighed. It was too late. They already knew that there was more so I might as well tell them everything because they wouldn't give up on finding out. "He said that... if I let Olive report him to the police, he'd make me wish I was dead."

Silence flooded the room. Zach was silently seething with his hands pulling at his hair and Kayden used every muscle in his body to remain calm.

None of us dared to say anything in fear that more yelling would ensue and Olive would be able to hear. The sounds of our breathing were the only noises our ears picked up. That was until Zach broke the silence.

"Did you... at least...? After you left his apartment?"

"Yes. I stopped by the pharmacy on the way to school. I already thought of that."

Bearing my rapist's child would've been a nightmare come true. Even in middle school, I'd pay one of the boys to go to the pharmacy to buy me a pill. I shuddered at the thought of having a baby with him. I was grateful to God for not letting my life change that drastically.

"You need to make one more promise today."

What he was going to say next was predictable. Without him having to explain the promise, I already spoke, "Yes, I promise. I promise to not go anywhere near him or to never let him touch me again."