"Come on, Jordan, you have to get up," Lexi groaned, shaking me a little when I refused to get out of bed Monday morning. "Come on, Jordan! You've never been this bad at getting up before! You couldn't have stayed up so late that you can't even get up!"

I didn't even know the answer to that. I stayed up really late, and I only knew that I fell asleep sometime after twelve and didn't check the time beforehand... But that wasn't the problem. I had stayed up practically the entire night before and I was able to get up for school. I just didn't want to go because I knew that Jesse wasn't going to be there, and everyone was going to be talking about him.

I knew that people were talking about Alexandria after she had passed away, even though I wasn't even at school because I was in the hospital. It made me wonder if anyone was talking about me... I really didn't want to think about it.

"I don't feel well," I whined, but it wasn't like it was a lie. It wasn't like I was sick or anything, but I definitely didn't feel any good. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die...

It was so late that she was already ready, and most of the other girls had already left. The only ones that were still in the cabin were Lexi, Chelsea, AJ, and me.

"Jordan, you've already missed so much school when you were in the hospital," Chelsea informed me as she stood next to Lexi, all dressed and one hundred perfect ready to go to class. "If you miss anymore you're going to fall behind. You might not be able to graduate."

"We already took our SATs and everything," I complained, burying my face in my pillow even more. "What we're learning now isn't even important. It won't matter if I miss it."

"What's wrong with you, Jordan?" Lexi demanded, and I could just tell that her eyebrows were furrowed. "You used to be so concerned about your grades that you tried to go to school with strep throat back in sophomore year! Now you look and sound perfectly fine and you don't even want to get out of bed!"

She didn't understand. The person she was in love with was still with her. She had at least another month with him, and possibly even the rest of her life. I didn't have that chance. I didn't have a choice because the person I was in love with was taken from me.

"Whatever," I growled, forcing myself out of my bed and walking passed them right as AJ emerged from the bathroom, all ready to go. I trudged past her and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me as loudly as I could. I turned on the shower but didn't get in right away. I sat by the door and listened in to what the girls were saying as they thought I was in the shower.

"What's up with Jordan?" I heard AJ ask the other two girls. "She's been so snappy and out of it ever since we found her on the dock on Saturday."

"Do you think it has something to do with Jesse's death?" Chelsea wondered out loud, and I couldn't help but suck in a nervous breath. They couldn't know about us... They'd hate me for sure! Even if Hunter couldn't go after me anymore, that didn't mean he couldn't go after the people I cared about... "Why would she be upset about Jesse's death if she hated him so much?"

"Death is still death, Chelsea," Lexi told her, and I let out a sigh of relief when is saw that she was on my side. "We're all upset over it, too. Even though they hated each other, Jordan had a bigger connection with Jesse than the rest of us. They were closer to each other than we were with him, and they had a type of bond. They've been annoying each other since freshman year."

"I thought she'd be at least a little bit happy," Chelsea grumbled, as if unhappy that she hadn't been right. "I mean, she always talked about how much she wouldn't even care if she just disappeared off the face of the earth! And now that he did, she's completely depressed!"

"That was back then," AJ sighed. "That was before anything happened. Of course Jordan didn't really mean it. She thought she did, but something like this just had to happen for her to realize that she didn't mean it."

Of course I didn't even mean it back when I had hated Jesse. I didn't even think I wanted Hunter to die. I was just so tired of all this death...

"You don't think Jordan actually... loved Jesse or anything, do you?" I heard Chelsea asked, and I bit my lip so hard that it almost started bleeding. They can't figure it out! "I mean... she's been acting weird for a while. And now she's all depressed about his death. Maybe that's why?"

"What about Eric?" Lexi reminded her, and that was the only time I was thankful that they thought I was in love with Hunter. "She was going out with him."

"But they broke up," AJ pointed out to her.

Getting tired of their conversation, I hopped up off the floor and finally got into the shower. I didn't care if I was late or not; I didn't even care about anything anymore. Jesse was the only thing I cared about...

I guess I was being selfish. But after everything I had been through, I believe that I deserved to be a little selfish. And this was going to be how I was going to act selfish, by only thinking about Jesse and only caring about him. For a little while, at least. I was going to have to get over it after a while...

When I finally got out of the bathroom all ready for school, the girls were already gone. I didn't care; I could get to class by myself. I wasn't a baby...

Even though it sure felt like it.

School was harder than I thought it would be. Without Jesse, it just wasn't the same. It was the first day of classes after he left, and no one seemed to know what to do.

"My first period was so depressing," Alex sighed as we both made our ways to our second period. "Jesse was in that class with me and the teacher just kept going on and on about him. By the time he was done, pretty much everyone was depressed and all the girls were sobbing."

"He must have been really popular," I voiced out weakly, not really wanting to talk about Jesse at the moment. I didn't want to talk about him at all. I was supposed to forget about him, wasn't I? As much as I didn't want to...

"He was," Alex shrugged, letting me enter the classroom before he did. "He just didn't let it get to his head like some people do."

"He never even told me about it," I blinked, still kind of shocked that Jesse was so popular. I also wondered if everyone was this depressed over Alexandria's death, too. Since I had been in the hospital pretty much the entire time, I didn't really know...

"He didn't care about popularity," Alex informed me uncaringly as he followed me inside the classroom. "He probably never told you because he didn't think it was a big deal."

"It must be because of his looks," I suggested, not being able to think of any other reason. "I mean, he doesn't really open up to anyone so it wouldn't be his personality..."

"Ah, well," Alex shrugged, taking his seat next to mine. I quickly followed him, sitting in my seat as well. "He was nice to almost everyone."

I blinked at him. "Almost?"

Alex grinned devilishly. "Remember when Pete tripped at the pep rally?"

I blinked once again, my eyebrows furrowing as I did so. "... Yeah."

"Jesse did that."

"What?" I almost squawked, biting my tongue when our other classmates looked over at us. "What do you mean by that?"

"Jesse tripped him," he shrugged, as if it was absolutely no big deal. "Not the best revenge, but good enough. At least Pete l got embarrassed in front of the whole school."

"Yeah," I smiled only slightly at the memory. Pete sure did get what he deserved... I sure hoped I never had to come into contact with him again. "I'm glad Jesse did that for me."

"He did a lot of things for you," Alex chuckled, shrugging his backpack off of his shoulders and onto the floor. "He told me that he loved you way before you started feeling the same way."

My eyes widened at me. "Idiot! Why didn't you tell me? You knew about my feelings for Jesse and you knew that I was scared that he didn't feel the same way!"

Alex rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd be smart enough to figure it out on your own. I swear, if he didn't tell you that he loved you then you probably still would have been clueless now."

I glared at him for a few moments, not knowing how I was supposed to respond to that. I had been an idiot when it came to Jesse... How could I not know that he had been in love with me?

"He's a good actor," I excused, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back in my chair.

Alex snorted. "Not really. He got pissed and jealous and upset over you all the time. He even signed you up for that dirt biking class so he could be closer to you."

I blinked at him, not understanding what he was talking about. My eyebrows furrowed, and I tried to figure it out on my own. Jesse had signed me up for dirt biking...? That wasn't possible... You could only sign up for yourself, not anyone else.

Alex rolled his eyes at me once again, as if sensing my confusion. "I'll tell you the whole story, and I'm sure it'll make sense when I'm done. You guys signed up for your electives in pencil. You left before Jesse, and he erased your name off of whatever you had signed up for and put it on the dirt biking sheet with his."

Wow, if he wasn't already supposedly dead I would have killed him! That was why I was in the class? That was what Mr. Craven had been talking about that day so long ago... But how had I managed to get into the guitar, the class I thought I had signed up for?

"I think you got into the class you originally picked just by luck," Alex grinned, as if reading my mind. His grin then faded, and he leaned closer as he continued speaking. "Did they talk about Jesse in your first period?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but just briefly. She talked about how he died and she asked if anyone had any questions. When no one did, she just went on with the lesson."

"We didn't learn anything today," Alex frowned, obviously not wanting to talk about Jesse either. "It was all about Jesse. It was the same when it was Alexandria. She was in my first period, too."

"Your teacher must have been feeling wonderful," I grumbled sarcastically, groaning internally as our teacher walked in. I could tell just by the look on his face that he was going to talk about Jesse. I had to get ready for all my classes to be filled with him. I was just going to have to try my best not to cry.

"Good morning, class," Mr. Bennett began morosely from the front of the classroom. "I know that you all have already heard about how Jesse Jacobsen has passed away..."

Words couldn't even describe how upset I was as he went on about him. Was Alex the only one who noticed how this was breaking my heart? It sure seemed like it.

"How did he die?" some guy blurted out from the back, and I felt like shouting at him to shut the hell up. But then again, I wanted the answer as well... How did Jesse manage to fake his death? I heard that his car had flipped into some body of water, but...

"We haven't been told about that," Mr. Bennett informed him, and I could tell that he was disappointed that he had asked this way. "All we know is that it was some kind of car accident."

I knew Jesse wasn't dead. But imagining it just hurt me even more. I couldn't believe Jesse actually threw the rest of his life away just for me... He was such an idiot.

But I loved him anyway.

We spent a little more time talking about Jesse, but I didn't really pay any attention. They didn't know I was Jesse's girlfriend, so they probably didn't think that it even bothered me... Everyone still thought that I despised him, which was how it was supposed to be.

But I hated Hunter more than I had ever hated Jesse. Jesse didn't kill the innocent people I loved, Hunter did. But Jesse was now the one practically on the run, not Hunter.

When second period finally ended, I couldn't have been happier. I didn't feel like finishing up the novel we had been reading, so I just zoned out the entire time. It didn't really matter since I had read The Outsiders back in eighth grade and I remembered it all...

Gym was really the only class that I was looking forward to. Even though Jesse was in that class with me, I was sure our teacher wouldn't talk about it too much and I still got to sit out of everything. But I was just glad that I didn't have to hear so much about Jesse in that class.

But oh, boy... Was I wrong...

Mrs. Ellis brought the entire class into the gym and went on and on about Jesse. She even said that no one had to dress out that day.

How ridiculous!

The class went by quickly, and I couldn't have been happier to be out of there. Did Jesse really affect people that much that we were all getting out of classwork? I barely believed it!

My fourth period guitar class went by quickly with Mr. Freeman only mentioning it, but the whole class went by even quicker than the rest of them. No one even seemed to notice how depressed I was, but I was kind of thankful for it. But I hated that some people were actually expecting me to be happy about Jesse dying! Sure, we had been enemies at one point, but being happy over his death was just horrible...

I thought that fifth period history class would go by quickly, but it sure didn't. Mr. White used the whole period to talk about Jesse, since he had him in an earlier class of his, and I just wanted to collapse onto my desk and sob. Mr. White had always been such a great teacher, and I knew he was upset over Jesse's death maybe even more than everyone else.

Besides me, of course.

But I guess I shouldn't have been as upset as I was. I mean, I was the only person on the planet that knew that Jesse was still alive. Jesse knew that I would be even more depressed if I didn't know that he wasn't really dead, so of course he told me what he was going to do.

But I didn't get why he didn't tell Alex. I mean, they were best friends. Even though we both knew that Alex would have tried to stop him if Jesse did tell him... But now I was keeping a huge secret from Alex, the one other person besides Jesse on the planet that knew everything about me.

After I finally got out of the long fifth period that was all about Jesse, I trudged to my next class by myself. Usually Jesse met me half way and we walked together, but obviously that was out of the question...

I knew this class was going to be the hardest for me. We sat right next to each other; we were lab partners. Even though we were pretty much done with everything in this class, how was I supposed to get through the rest of the year looking at his empty seat?

The class went by a lot easier than I thought it would, since Mrs. Winchester barely said anything about him at all. I would notice when people would look over and stare at Jesse's seat for a while, and I wanted to bark at them and tell them to look away. But I had to act like I wasn't even bothered...

Seventh period was the same as sixth. Mr. Craven touched on it a little bit, but he then had everyone riding around on their bikes while I sat off to the side and watched. Usually during this time, I would watch Jesse ride around the track. He would always catch my eye, smirk his knowing smirk at me, and ride on. Just thinking of this made tears come to my eyes, and I quickly scrubbed them away before anyone else could notice them.

I was still depressed when the school day finally ended, and I knew that my friends could tell. It was just way too hard to act around them now... I knew that they were going to find out sooner or later, but I was sure hoping that it was going to be later.

"Okay, Jordan," Lexi began from above me after I had collapsed onto my bed. "You've been like this for days. Now we're going out whether you like it or not, and you don't have any say in the matter!"

Going out? What the hell did she mean like that? I didn't want to go out to some stupid club or anything... I definitely wasn't in the mood for that. I wasn't even in the mood for it when everything was normal.

"Just to the park," Chelsea informed me, as if she could read my thoughts. "The same park that we went to for you birthday!"

I did not want to go back there. The last time I was there, I ended up walking away from my friends with my arm around Hunter's. Not to mention I said hi to Alexandria, which caused Hunter to find out who she was so he could kidnap her...

"What are we supposed to do at a park?" I groaned, shoving my face into my pillow now. "It sounds super boring."

"Well, maybe if you're lucky Eric will show up again and you can leave with him," AJ giggled, and I felt myself cringe ever so slightly. That would only happen if I was unlucky...

I always hated leaving the camp, even when Jesse was there with me. Sometimes I was afraid to even leave the cabin, since it seemed to be so easy for Hunter to get inside. But then I remembered, Hunter couldn't come near me. He had to leave me alone. Unless he hadn't gotten the news about Jesse yet... But I sure he had, since it had been all over the news.

"Fine, I'll go," I gave in, slowly sitting up from my lying position. "I'm not going to be happy about it though."

"You don't have to be happy about it!" Lexi chirped, and I let out a grumpy breath. "As long as we get you out of your depressing bubble, you don't have to be happy about going to the park!"

For the first time since we had joined the camp, I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to California and attend Adeline again. That was where I belonged, not at this camp all the way across the country. I wished that I could have just went back in time back to the day I had met Jesse. I wouldn't have gone into the ice cream parlor, therefore I never would have met him. That would have just saved us both pain...

But I couldn't do that, and I honestly didn't want to do it very much either. I was happy that I had fallen in love with Jesse Jacobsen.

When we all finally got to the park, I still wasn't happy. I couldn't help but look over my shoulder every now and then to make sure we weren't being followed. Hunter could have been lurking anywhere, and I wasn't about to take any chances.

I sat down on a bench and Lexi stood by the playground while Chelsea and AJ went off to the convenient store down the block to go get us waters. It was silent as my best friend and I sat in the pretty much deserted park, and I couldn't help but feel uneasy. The only other people in the park that we could see were two boys who were sitting at a picnic table eating chips, their bikes laid out on the ground beside them.

There was something that made me feel queasy about these boys. I didn't know if it was the way they would eye us now and then, or because they were two grown teenage guys hanging out at a park. Something just wasn't right about them...

One of them had long blond hair that was covered by a hat that he wore backwards, and my nose wrinkled at the sight. I hated it when guys wore their hat backwards, and I didn't know why. I also didn't like when guys wore shirts without sleeves, which the blonde guy was doing as well.

His friend had short brown hair and he was wearing a baggy shirt, which I also couldn't stand when guys wore them. Couldn't they just wear something with sleeves that fit them? It wasn't that much to ask... I could already tell that we didn't want to get involved with these guys. Where were AJ and Chelsea so we could have gotten out of there?

Before I knew what was happening, the blonde guy was riding up next to Lexi and me on his bike. We both stopped whispering to each other and looked over at him, both of us not knowing what to say. Was this guy going to hit on us or something? Man, I sure hoped not...

"Hey, you guys got five dollars?"

The first thing I couldn't help but notice about him was that he needed to learn how to speak correctly, but it wasn't like I was going to tell him that or anything. This kid looked like he was a junior in high school, maybe, and even though that was younger than me he was still a guy and I was still a girl. And even though I had dealt with guys bigger and stronger than him, I still didn't want to get into any kind of fight.

I had been in enough of those.

"No," I said immediately, knowing that I wouldn't have even said yes even if I had money. But since I left all the money I had back at the cabin, I was safe. "I don't have any money."

"Neither do I," Lexi told him, shaking her head slowly. Now I knew that was a lie, but it wasn't like I was going to say that. Lexi had about fifteen dollars in her pocket, but I knew she didn't want to give any of her money to this random teenage boy. "Sorry."

"Ah, come on," the blonde pressed on, leaning over his handlebars. "My friend and I just need five dollars to go buy some energy drinks at the store down the block. They're two fifty a piece. You can't hit me up?"

"No," Lexi told him, and I saw her eye twitch. She was getting impatient now... But I sure didn't blame her, because this dude was definitely not budging until he got his five dollars. What about his friend? Why was he just sitting on the bench like nothing was going on? Some friend... "Dude, I don't have any money. Sorry, but go ask someone else."

"Come on, you've got to have five dollars," the kid continued to press, and I was starting to feel more and more uneasy.

"We don't have five dollars," I informed him, stopping Lexi from practically biting his head off. I had seen Lexi go off on someone before, and it wasn't pretty... Bruce was lucky that he only got off with a black eye... But I guessed that was enough to teach him for cheating on her.

It was silent for about thirty seconds, all three of us just looking at each other, as if daring one of us to speak. I definitely wasn't going to talk, so I just played with the cover on my phone awkwardly.

"You sure you don't have five dollars?" the kid asked again.

Lexi's eye twitched again. "Are you kidding me?"

He didn't even glace at me as he continued to have a stare-off with Lexi. That was perfectly fine by me, since I didn't want to be seen, but I couldn't help but wonder how the hell we were supposed to get out of this mess. This guy wasn't leaving until he got what he wanted, and I was sure he wouldn't let Lexi and I just get up and leave.

"What grade are you in?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I'm a junior," he answered me before going back to his stare-off.

"What's your name?" Lexi demanded, her hands on her hips as she glared down at him.

"Alex," he answered once again, not breaking eye contact with her.

"What a coincidence," a new voice said from behind me, causing me to jump about three feet into the air. "So is mine!"

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Alex, Lexi's boyfriend and former gang member Alex, standing behind the bench above us. His eyes narrowed as he glared at Alex the junior, but the pipsqueak didn't back down. He looked back at his friend for help, but his friend just stared down at the back of chips on the table in front of him.

What a wuss.

I was so glad that he had shown up! Now we were saved! If we tried to leave and the other Alex tried to stop us, our Alex could have just beaten him up! He did used to be in a gang and everything...

"Is there a problem here?" Alex asked, walking over and wrapping an arm around Lexi's shoulders. "Or is there a good reason you're bothering my girlfriend and my best friend?"

I blinked, shocked at what he had said. Best friend? He considered me his best friend? I felt my heart swell and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling. That was so sweet of him! Lexi seemed pretty surprised by it as well, but she made sure to keep it well hidden in front of the Alex on the bike.

"I'm just asking them if they have five bucks, that's all," the Alex on the bike excused, raising his hands up in defense. "But they don't have any, so my friend and I were just leaving."

"Get out of here," Alex snapped, motioning with his head to the exit of the park. "And I better not see you around the girls ever again."

The Alex on the bike nodded before motioning to his friend, telling me that it was time to leave. I didn't feel myself breathing again until I saw they ride so far away that I couldn't see them any longer.

"Oh, thank goodness you showed up!" Lexi cried, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist and shoving her face into his chest. "I was going to give him five dollars just to get him to go away! He wouldn't go away!"

"I highly doubt he would have used the money for energy drinks," I drawled flatly, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back into the bench. "Probably for tobacco or drugs or something.  Maybe even alcohol."

Lexi nodded. "Yeah, probably."

We quickly caught up with Chelsea and AJ and got the heck out of there before Alex and his friend had the chance to come back. I decided not to go back to that park, just in case. But I was only going to be in Maine for a few more weeks... After graduation I was going back to California and then I was off to Connecticut for Yale.

Wow... it was only a few more weeks away. I could hardly believe it. It seemed like it was just the day before that Jesse had split ice cream all over my favorite shirt... I kind of wished that it was the day before that that had happened, because at least that would have meant that he was still here with me.

I was going to ask Alex later about him calling me his best friend. Jesse was his other best friend I was sure, and I couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone else. He did say that Dalton was his best friend, but that was his brother...

I couldn't help but be curious, but I quickly pushed the thought to the back of my mind. The one thing I had to think about was graduation. My parents would be coming, and even Austin said that he would come and bring Rachel along. Though I couldn't wait to see them all again, I could definitely wait until graduation.

Because as soon as that day was done, it was all over. And I would be free.

But I never said that I wanted to be free.

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I. Miss. Jesse.

I love the picture on the side. :D

Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! :)