I get home to the sound of water slapping against the floor of the shower, but that was somewhat muffled by the sound of Dans weeping. When I walked in Dan must have herd me over the rushing water as he was now just whimpering.

"Dan, whats wrong?" I said pulling the shower curtain to the side so that I could see him. He was sitting hugging his knees as water splashed against is perfect face.

"I'm a complete piece of shit loser, with no life!" He said beginning to cry again, as I checked the temperature of the water. It was freezing, so I turned of the shower, got a towel, wrapped it around him and picked him up. He was heavy, and I kept having to do that thing ware you kind of through them a little so that they stop sliding down; Dan didn't care though, I could tell that it calmed him down. I laid him down and began to walk away.

"Don't go. I wanna snuggle." Dan said calm and sweet.

"Okay." I say as I start walking back to the bed and I slip under the covers. Dan curls up and I spoon around him, then I drift softly to sleep.

***

When I wake up there is a loud grunting noise and then silence. Given Dan's state of mined I knew what this noise was so I quickly grabbed my phone and dialed 999 on my way to the bathroom. I burst through the door and find Dan unconscious in the bath with slashes all up his wrists and forearms. I instinctively grab two towels as if I know what I'm doing and hold them firmly to the cuts.
"999 what's your emergency?" The answering woman said calmly, how could she be so calm at a time like this? I though to myself.

"My boyfriend cut up his forearms!" I said holding my phone between my chin and my shoulder.

"What is your address?" She said yet again in a calm tone. After telling her my address I dropped the phone. Still holding the towels on Dan's wrists I carefully take Dan out of the bathtub and lay his head on my lap, while waiting for the paramedics to arrive.

*****

I don't remember much after that but I somehow found myself speeding after the ambulance to the hospital. I try to get past the secretary but I am forced to stay in the waiting room. At that moment it struck me to call Chris and PJ and soon their after they arrived and I finally have some one who of which I can share my concern with.

"You can see him now." When we got to the room I dashed to Dan's side to see how he was.

"Please say that you okay." As I say that Dan lifts his and and hits my cheek. I'm surprised at the fact that he would even try to hurt me, I just saved his life.

"I wanted to die." Dan said. I could tell he wanted to yell but he was to weak. "I was ready to die." Dan continued but softer. I leave the room at the sound of his words and Chris follows.

"I just can't do this, okay. I love him and I can't stand to see him like this." As I say this I begin to cry.

"He needs you just as much as you need him right now." He began to hug me but I know he has no idea how to comfort someone, so he's just awkwardly rubbing my back.

"N-no he doesn't." I squeeze out between sobs.