Jenny

The imagery program Uncle Artair gave me this week is up on my computer screen. There is a picture of an animal with a wet, black nose, a long, bushy tail, a black coat of fur, and pointy, triangular ears on the screen. I push one of the hint buttons and the image is accompanied by a loud barking sound. I know this animal. I know it. I bang my fisted hands on my forehead in frustration. I know I can get this word to come out of this broken brain of mine. OMG!

Deer. Dingo. NO. No. Not dingo. Dolphin. Donkey. DAMMIT!

What is that freaking word? I scream inside my own head at myself.

Just then, I hear the front door creak open. I look up in frustration and curiosity to see who has come in, but don't see anyone right away. My anxiety starts to peak when I hear soft clicks walk across the hardwood floors and Uncle Artair's pokes his head into my room.

As if he were psychic, and knew what word I was working on, he appears with one.

"DOG!" I exclaim from no-where. "Dog! Dog! DOG!" as one walks up to my leg and sits down next to me.

I look up in surprise at Uncle Artair, having no idea what's going on. When did he decide to get himself a dog? I think to myself. Oh! I know. Maybe he found me a customer to dog walk for. I had told him I wanted to go back into business again. This could be great. Before waiting for Uncle Artair to tell me what's going on, I look down and reach out tentatively to pet her.

"Hi, Jenny," Uncle Artair says. "Meet Sage."

"Sa...Sage?"

"Yes, her name is Sage," Uncle Artair answers. "She's a trained watch dog. I brought her for you. I thought she'd make a good friend. Someone who will always be there for you, to protect you. You don't have to be afraid anymore, Jenny. Sage will keep you safe."

With tears in my eyes, I stand up and hug Uncle Artair. I feel so choked up, that I can't speak. Uncle Artair got me a dog. A protection dog. I'm so moved I can't even focus.

I bend down to greet Sage on her level.

"Ok? Hug...Sage?" I ask, looking up at my Uncle for permission.

"Yes, it's ok Jenny," he replies. "You can hug Sage. She's yours. You should spend some time getting to know her."

Uncle Artair and I use the rest of the afternoon doing just that. Uncle Artair teaches me some basic commands Sage already knows. Since I'm not always good with words, Uncle Artair explains that Sage is trained to answer to both clicker and hand signals. Hand signals sometimes give me trouble, just like words do, so Uncle Artair and I practice them with Sage for an hour before I fatigue. We also go over the clicker commands, but they aren't much easier. Somehow, though, the motivation of being able to communicate with Sage drives me to learn. Sage doesn't rush me. She doesn't try to finish my sentences. She just nuzzles me with her nose, or offers me her paw; she lets me know that everything is ok. I don't need to speak. Sage is there for me regardless.

Uncle Artair explains that Sage has spent the last year learning how to protect and defend her owner, whomever that is. We talk about what I will have to do to be both Sage's owner and someone she listens to when, or if, the time ever comes that I need her. Since I have aphasia, Uncle Artair tells me he has it set up for me that Sage is considered a service pet as well. This way, I will be able to bring Sage with me anywhere that I go and legally it'll be ok. I'm ready to cry again and wrap my arms around his neck in gratitude. I'm not sure what I did to deserve Uncle Artair, but I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him in my life.

Standing there, Sage rubs my hand with her nose as if to let me know she's happy to be here, too. I rub her behind the ears and smile. We are going to be the best of friends.

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Photography Copyright 2018 A. E. F.

Here is an introductory about protection dogs and how they may help assault survivors/others:

*Acton News Jax (WJAX-TV/WFOX-TV). (2018). Dogs help sexual assault victims feel safe through recovery. YouTube Website: https://youtu.be/Ijm-CHpX-Pc.

*Best Pets. (2017). Women - dogs are better than gun. YouTube Website: https://youtu.be/mYCOx0z5Xr8.

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