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Jealousy is the inner consciousness of one's own inferiority. It is a mental cancer.
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*flashback to Dec 3, 2020*
Author's POV

Taehyung and Amy were in the VIP lounge waiting for their DNA profiling reports and watching a drama on the phone while they waited. They were laughing together and trying to relax despite the stress of the impending test results.

Life over the past few weeks had been highly stressful for them both with declining interest in physical intimacy, forgetting important events, less time together due to hectic work schedules and other small things which might otherwise have been insignificant, but for them it was taking a toll on their relationship without them having realized it—the root cause for all of it being the extreme tension and stress surrounding the screening test results.

Just then, Ah Ra, whose father worked as the senior genetic analyst at the DNA screening lab, entered the building. It was her father's birthday, and she wanted to pay him a surprise visit at the lab since she hadn't met him in more than a month because of her busy schedule and overseas concert tour.

"Dr. Jung is in a meeting right now. He'll be available in another ten minutes. Would you like to wait in his room?" Asked the nurse with a warm smile.

"It's okay. I will take a walk around here. It seems less crowded today," Ah Ra smiled inside her mask and walked away to take a stroll in and around the sprawling main building.

As she passed by the VIP waiting lounge, she happened to catch a glimpse of Taehyung, and instantly her eyes widened, and her pulse raced.

Quickly jogging upto the door of the lounge, she saw again closely. It was him, and he was with Amy, and they were happy. She could see them only from behind, but they were so happy together.

Taehyung was happy, and that irritated Ah Ra.

Her anger seethed through her nerves. Her vision turned red and then green as her mind was filled with curiosity and anger and jealousy—curiosity about why they were here and jealousy because she was not the one laughing along with Taehyung and anger because he was not hers.

Until she saw him again, she didn't sit down and think about him, she didn't feel revenge or jealousy or anger. But now she realized that she was never really over him, and she felt all the sinful emotions taking over her mind.

Why were they here? She needed to find out.

She decided to ask the nurse in the lab, and quickly jogged to the lab and spoke to the nurse.

"Umm... Could you help me with something?" She asked impatiently.

"Yes, madam... please tell me," the nurse responded politely.

"There are two people in the VIP waiting lounge. May I know why they are here?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Oh... they're here for cord banking for the baby. And they're waiting for their DNA profiling reports" the nurse replied.

Her forehead crinkled and eyebrows creased in confusion.
"Wait, what? Cord banking? I don't get it... are they expecting a baby?" Ah Ra was shocked, surprised and confused—all at once.

"Yes, madam," the nurse nodded, smiling.

Ah Ra's eyes went as wide as they could possibly go, and her mouth hung open, thankfully concealed by the mask.

"Whoa! That's big news... thank you so much," she replied calmly although her mind was already plotting horribly evil plans.

She was oscillating between leaking the news and ruining Taehyung's career or using this information to ruin their relationship. Jealousy blinded her.

The vile voice inside her head said,
Ah Ra, you should've been the one bearing his children. Not her.

She sat in her father's room and thought about it as she nervously chewed on her lips and her fingernails.

Finally, she decided that breaking their relationship would hurt them both. She wanted to ruin them. She thought to herself that with a baby in her hands, and without Taehyung by her side, Amy would be a living mess. Oh! How she longed to see that sight!

The sight of a distraught Amy with a baby all by herself soothed her burning senses. It felt like ice on her wounds, numbing her pain and easing the burning sensation that she felt from within.

She was pure evil.

Ah Ra smirked an evil smirk and waited, and her dad arrived soon after the meeting was over.

Her demeanor immediately shifted to an innocent fluff.

"Darling, you're here?" Dr. Jung boomed as he walked up to his only precious daughter.

"Appa, happy birthday to you. I love you, appa," she squealed and hugged her dad tight and pulled away with an expression of feigned sadness.

"Thank you, princess... but why do you look upset?" Her dad asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, appa," she put on a sadder face.

"Honey, appa knows you fully well. Now tell me what is bothering you," he demanded in a stern tone.

She didn't need glycerin or tear gas to initiate the fake tears.
"Appa." She sniffed. "I used to like a man in the past, and he liked me too. But then we fell apart, and now he's with another woman. They're expecting their first child together while I am still here single and lonely," she wept and whimpered.

"Ah Ra, don't cry over a moron. If he has left you, then let him go. He will regret leaving an angel like you," her father replied sensibly.

Ah Ra raised her head and her voice.
"Appa... they hurt me so much emotionally. He dumped me for her. He spoke such hurtful words and insulted me in front of her. I really want to give back to them," she cried more.

Her tears made her father feel miserable and completely muddled up his rational mind. He desperately wanted to help his daughter with everything that he had.

"What can I do, Ah Ra? I will do anything that's within my power to help you feel better," he said in a concerned tone.

Ah Ra's evil inner conscience smirked in victory. However, on the outside, she pouted sadly.
"Appa... they're here for their DNA profiling report and cord banking today," she sniffed on a few tissues.

Dr. Jung lifted an eyebrow.
"They are? Shall I kick the life out of his balls?" He almost rose from his seat.

She was quick to pull him back to his seat by holding his wrist.
"Appa, no, no... Our blow has to be painful and discreet but not physical. I don't want you to get into trouble because of me," she said in a tone that was dripping with evil and sin.

They both sat in total silence for a while and thought about what could be done. If there was a black puff of smoke surrounding her, and a pitchfork planted in her hand, Ah Ra, at that moment, would have looked no better than Satan himself.

Dr. Jung hummed and nodded to himself.
"I know what to do. You leave, and I will take care of this." He said confidently.

Ah Ra wiped off her tears and demanded him curiously,
"Appa... what do you mean? Tell me what you're planning to do."

"I will make the report tell him that the child does not belong to him. Any man's ego and pride will be hurt, and he will be offended. He will suspect her, and things will turn sour soon." He said and smiled devilishly.

She was excited suddenly, adrenaline rushing through every nook and cranny of her beguiled mind and body.

Her eyes widened, and she almost bounced in her seat.
"Wow, appa... Can you do it? Is it possible?"

"I will edit the report before printing and attesting it. No one will ever know." He nodded with a proud smile as if he was about to work for a noble cause to save mankind.

She was thrilled.
"This is brilliant, appa... but is it safe?" Her doubts were endless.

"Totally safe. There's no way they can find out, and they cannot get a retest done since needling the baby in the womb more than once is illegal. This will work for sure." He said confidently and went straight to the reporting lab.

"Nurse, you may leave for lunch now. I need some privacy here," he ordered, and the nurse obliged and left. The sly Dr. Jung sat at the computer, manipulated the report, printed it out and attested it.

The original correct reports that were kept on the table were passed through the shredder by his own dirty hands, and he sent the manipulated report over for handover.

He smiled proudly at his accomplishment, and his daughter was ecstatic about it too.

Together they had ruined it all—the lives of three people who only wanted to spend their lives happily with each other.

*cut to the present *
Taehyung's POV

I almost strangled the old man, my blood boiling out of anger.

Ah Ra did this to us? That bitch! What a sick slut!

"JIMIN AH?" I screamed while still holding the collar of Dr. Jung's shirt.

"Done," he showed thumbs up, flashed his phone at us and clicked open the recording.

Every word that Jung spoke was recorded, right from the moment he entered the library—his own personalized confession of the heinous crime that he and his daughter had committed.

Jimin stopped playing the audio snippet and slid his phone inside his pocket.

I harshly pushed the old man away from me.
"We'll use this against you if you or your shitty daughter try to do anything more to ruin my life and relationships. I don't always give warnings. Stay away from us. Got it?" I spat out my warning.

He held his collar and straightened out his shirt but didn't speak a word, his face sporting embarrassment, guilt and shame, as it should.

"Let's go, Taehyung ah... don't waste your time speaking to this old shit," Jimin told, throwing a nasty glance at the old man.

We both left the mansion and went straight to Jimin's house. My hands still trembled thinking of how low Ah Ra had gone to destroy our lives, and I cursed my past self for having been attracted to her.

I got the audio recording from Jimin and left. It was 1:30 pm, and the first and the most important thing to do was to call Amy, which I did right away.

"Amy, we need to talk," I spoke seriously, trying my best to contain the whirlwind of emotions within my heart.

"Can this wait until tonight?" She asked doubtfully.

"No, are you busy now?" I asked, making my urgency quite obvious to her.

"I'm headed to a meeting right now," she replied, and my shoulders dropped in disappointment.

"Okay, we'll talk tonight," I said and waited for her to end the call, which she did immediately.

A couple of dreary hours filled with anticipation passed by, seeming more like a decade than just two hours. Amy and MinJun arrived as usual, and the rest of the evening flew by in a flash. I couldn't concentrate on the games that junior and I played since I was so preoccupied with thoughts about how I would tell the truth to Amy and how she would react to it.

After MinJun and I had dinner together, Amy took him to bed while I waited for her to come out after he slept. I was mentally preparing myself for the worst too.

What if she thinks low of me because I still clung on to the faulty report thing?

My nervousness was through the roof, and I almost felt a slow swirling nausea in the pit of my stomach. Never before had I been so nervous in life.

Amy came out a while later and asked me,
"You wanted to talk?"

Breathing out my nervousness, my eyes lifted to look at her.
"Amy... can you please sit down?" I asked, and she sat down facing me, holding our gazes.

My heart beat was way beyond normal limits, and my hands and feet went cold.

"There's something important that you have to listen to," I said, and Amy tilted her head to the side.

"Uh huh?" She raised her eyebrows.

I cleared my throat and tried to speak more calmly despite the wave of anxiety that was washing through me.
"We... I mean, Jimin and I met someone today. He confessed something very important. Listen to this," I said and pulled out my phone with trembling hands, playing the audio recording for her thereafter.

As the recording played in the silent house, my skin bristled, and Amy's expressions morphed from confused to shocked to tears with each word that was spoken.

When I clicked stop the recording, Amy had her eyes fixed on me.
"Taehyung, what's all this? Is this for real?" She was in a state of shock, her eyes wide and dripping tears mirroring the emotions she felt within her heart.

"Amy, yes... it was her. She did this to us," I said shakily, dipping my neck low, my eyes were clouded with tears.

Amy gasped again in shock.
"This is so evil. I can't even imagine that we went through so much because of her... ahh... my head hurts to even think of such things," she held her head in her hands, her tears falling faster now.

I nodded slowly, my head still hanging low and my eyes fixed to the floor beneath our feet.
"But even though she did it, I shouldn't have trusted the report. I let them just manipulate me. More than half of it is my fault," my voice cracked, and my tears fell.

Amy didn't say anything, but her whimpering faded to soft sniffles.

"Amy..." I reached out and took her soft hand in mine and her eyes landed on our joined hands as I made soft circles at the back of her hand with my cold thumb. "Please forgive me," I added, and a tear from her eye dropped on my hand.

Amy nodded softly, wiping away her tears with her other hand.
"Taehyung, if you realized your mistake, it is almost as good as forgiven," she said in a voice so soft.

I held her hands nestled inside both my hands.
"I love you..." I said as my tears dripped down.

Amy's tears fell too as both our teary eyes lifted to look at each other.

She spoke in a shaky voice, amidst her falling tears.
"Taehyung...you have no idea how much I missed you. Everywhere and everything reminded me of you. Even MinJun reminded me of you. I missed you Taehyung... I missed you so much," she cried and pulled me into a tight hug, her whole body shuddering and shaking with her whimpers.

The woman I love had so much pain in her heart that it all melted out through her eyes, and I let her cry it all out on my shoulder as I pulled her closer to my chest, holding her tight with my everything.

"I missed you so much, Amy," I cried even more, our faces resting on each other's shoulders.

The warmth and love that I so missed for all these years is all mine now.

Amy's tears wetted my shoulder, her smaller body shaking in my hold as I kissed her shoulder and cried harder. Years of pain, misery and separation, all of which was boiling deep inside our hearts, seemed to slowly melt and fly away from us. When we were in each other's arms, time seemed to stop and nothing mattered anymore.

Finally, after our eyes were devoid of any tears and when our hearts felt lighter, Amy calmed down and pulled away, her eyes still locked to mine.

"I love you, Taehyung," she said, the words uttered in her soft voice, one that I had missed hearing for six long years that felt like a whole lifetime of suffering. Her words and eyes made my heart beat at an erratic rhythm, and all of a sudden, I felt like a teenager in love, vulnerable and nervous in her presence.

Amy's eyes were red and puffy from crying, and mine were still glistening with a film of unshed tears as I said,
"I love you more, baby..."

Smiling softly, she took my hand to her lips and kissed it gently while I wiped off my tears with my other hand and swallowed thickly.

I want to kiss her

Does she want it too?

I found myself getting tangled in her alluring gaze as I inched closer to her, my hands moving on their own accord to hold her tender face in them. Our eyes met, and I couldn't even blink. We were so close that our hot breaths mingled in the space between us that was desperately waiting to be closed in.

Memories of our first kiss from years back came flooding through my mind.

We were sitting close, eyes fixed on each other's lips, on the small couch in the warm and cozy Songpa-gu house.

"Can I kiss you?" My voice was a deep whisper, and Amy gave her consent by closing her eyes, her hands slowly gliding up my clothed chest towards the back of my neck.

Tilting my head slightly, I leaned in, fixed my eyes on her soft lips and gently captured them in mine, feeling as if my whole world came to a total halt the moment our lips connected. After all these tortuous years of separation, this moment felt like pure Heaven.

Fireworks went sparking through my nerves as I tasted her lips which were now moving slowly against mine.

I missed kissing her and loving her.

I missed Amy. I won her back

Our lips danced together in a perfect rhythm that matched the beats of our heart—something that only the two of us could feel. There was not a spot of lust that I felt at that moment. Only pure love.

Letting our soft moans be swallowed by each other, the only sounds that were heard in the otherwise silent house were that of our beating hearts and the ticking clock.

My hands crawled all over her back while Amy wrapped her arms tight around my neck as she always did, and we kept kissing. Our tears fell even as we kissed, but that didn't deter our spirits. The kiss healed our wounds that were raw and bleeding for all these years.

Her soft lips healed me. I felt human. I felt like myself again. She is my journal that helps me stay in touch with myself, she's the reality in my life.

Seconds turned to minutes, and after quite a few minutes passed, Amy pulled away slowly, resting her forehead on mine and looking straight into my soul.
"Tae... I love you so much," she whispered, her hot breath fanning my lips.

"I love you more, baby," I placed my hand on her cheek, softly stroking her jaw.

Amy chuckled when my thumb delicately stroked over her lower lip, and I could see the goosebumps on her hands. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"Someone once said that distance brings us closer," I whispered against her lips, my thumb still stroking her lower lip, making her lips part slightly.

She chuckled softly.
"Yeah, a hopele-" I silenced her with my lips, taking her by surprise.

Laughing, Amy pulled away and stroked my cheek with her thumb.
"Tae..MinJun is excited about Christmas. We'll set up the tree on Sunday?" She said with a smile that didn't falter and a rosy blush on her cheeks that I loved so much.

"Yes... we will do it," I pecked her lips a few times making her giggle and wriggle in my hold.

She smiled. A happy smile after a long time.

Amidst our non-stop kisses, Amy somehow managed to have her dinner, and we got ready to part ways for the night.

Standing at the doorway of her room,
"Sleep well, Tae," she said, ruffling my hair and kissing my cheek.

I pouted sadly with my puppy eyes, that would usually get me anything that I wanted from her.
"How do I sleep well when I'm sleeping away from you?" I whined, and Amy only chuckled, smacking my thigh playfully before she went into her room and turned off the lights.

Laughing, I combed my hair with my fingers as I went into my bedroom and turned off the lights before getting into bed.

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Did you enjoy this chapter? It is a long one, but, another favorite chapter of mine.
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Forgive them,
not because they asked for your
forgiveness
or because they deserve it
or because the pain they caused you
is not worth it
but because you cannot truly
move on
without forgiving.
It shows your level of maturity and
your ability to
understand that life is not always fair
and that someone's behavior
speaks of them, not you.
Your forgiveness speaks of you,
not them.

- excerpt from 'The Book Of Healing' by Najwa Zebian.