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Never apologize for the walls you built when you were protecting yourself. The right person will always see through them.
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Amy's POV

Taehyung seemed a bit drunk when he called earlier, and I hoped he would feel better when he woke up after a good night's sleep.

Jay and I planned to spend the new year's night at Itaewon, and we wanted to spend the night partying without any alcohol since we both didn't drink.

We had our outfits sorted for the night. I hadn't yet told Taehyung about our new year party plan, and I wasn't sure he would approve of it. I decided to tell him about it when we spoke later.

Waking up around noon, I saw that Jay was up already and picking out accessories for the night. I brushed my teeth and joined her to pick out mine. We then cooked and ate while watching some music videos on TV.

I almost fell asleep on the couch when Taehyung called.

"Amy, what are you doing?" He asked, sounding more sober today.

"Ahh... I almost slept on the couch. Did you sleep well, Taehyung?" I sounded horribly sleepy.

"I did, baby... did you sleep well?" He asked.

"Yeah, baby. What are you doing tonight for the new year?" I sat up and asked him, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

"I'll be meeting my hyungs for dinner. But I might be back home before midnight. What are you doing tonight?" He asked curiously.

"Umm... Actually, Jay and I thought of going to Itaewon tonight," I said and waited for him to respond.

"Wow... but it'll be really crowded. You don't drink anyway, so why bother to go there?" He sounded tense.

"Yeah, I don't drink, and Jay doesn't too. We just wanted to go partying and dancing. I'm not a big fan of partying, but Jay really wanted to try. So, I'm tagging along," I explained to him, and he let out a long hum, sounding unconvinced.

"Oh... hmm... please be very careful. It'll be more crowded than you can imagine. What will you be wearing? Don't wear anything too revealing," Taehyung was curious and concerned.

I wished I could see his face right then. He would be so cute and adorable, and I bet he was pouting cutely with his adorable puppy eyes.

"I picked a dress. It's not too short or revealing. Don't worry, Taehyung. I will be careful. You enjoy the night, okay? Please don't worry about me," I reassured him.

"Okay, Amy. I trust you," he said calmly.

"Did you drink last night?" I asked.

"Umm... I had wine. A little more than usual," he said softly, letting out an embarrassed laugh.

"That's okay, Taehyung... eat well today, okay? Drink plenty of water." I spoke like a grandma.

"I will, baby. I'll call you tonight," he reassured me, and we ended the call after saying our I love yous and passing kisses back and forth.

Jay and I showered and got dressed and left our home at five in the evening. We planned to hang around at Itaewon until 1 am at the max. Taking a taxi, we reached Itaewon and ate and wandered the streets that were filled with diverse people and a club or restaurant located at every fourth foot, until it was dark.

After 8 pm, almost all the clubs were open, and the crowd wasn't really unbearable. We entered a decent looking club and got a table. The music was loud but totally energetic. I wasn't a fan of clubbing though, so I chose to just sit around and watch.

We ordered snacks and ate them, and despite the cold weather outside, the atmosphere inside the club was sultry and hot because of the crowd.

After 10 pm, the crowd suddenly multiplied twenty folds, and all we could see were heads everywhere. We didn't move out of our seats except for using the washroom.

The music was deafening, and Jay and I couldn't hear anything that we were saying to each other. However, after a while, we both went to the dance floor and danced like possessed potatoes for a long time. Although the place was packed with skimpy clad, sweaty humans, there was so much infectious energy there. It was almost impossible not to catch on.

Jay skipped attending the movie premiere after-party for my sake, and I really had to make it up to her.

But I didn't enjoy the night as much as Jay did. She seemed to be having a blast. We left the club before midnight and rushed to the streets which were even more packed with noisier people, with even louder music thundering against our eardrums, and to top it all, there was a new year countdown too.

"6... 5... 4... 3... 2... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" we both screamed along with the crowd and the countdown and hugged each other.

Jan 1, 2020

In my thirty-one years of existence, I have no memory of ever having celebrated New Year's Eve so much. But I want to do it this year since last year was the best year in my life. I am thankful for every minute. I am thankful that my life is good now. I am happier than ever before...Taehyung completes me. I can't ask for more! Honestly, it was the best year of my life by all means. I am ecstatic to welcome another year which I would be spending with him. I want to be together with him for as long as I live and breathe.

Jay and I pushed our way along the crowded streets and moved over to a less crowded road. My phone vibrated inside my bag. Pulling it out, I saw that it was Taehyung calling me, and I answered his call instantly.

"Amyyyy," he screamed happily.

"Happy new year, baby bear," I shouted out to him.

"Happy new year, love... I love you, baby..." he spoke in a lower voice.

"Love you, Taehyung. Where are you now?" I reduced my volume too.

"I'm still with my hyungs. But I came out to call you," he spoke in a calm manner, his voice making my mind drift off to somewhere else.

I giggled.
"Wow... awesome! Are you having fun, baby?"

He chuckled.
"Yeah, I am.. How's the crowd at Itaewon?"

"It's mad... we'll be leaving in some time," I laughed.

"Take a taxi, and text me when you get back safe, okay?" He said in a deeper tone, sounding more solemn and serious.

"Okay, baby," I agreed, nodding.

"Don't forget to text me. I have something to tell you, okay?" He said in all seriousness.

"I will text you, Taehyung," I chuckled softly.

We said goodbye and ended the call. Jay was finishing up the call with Allan as we walked towards a taxi and reached home in an hour.

Along the way, all the roads were brightly lit as it would be during the late evenings. My legs hurt from all the walking and dancing. I felt exhausted and hungry too. Jay flopped on the bed as soon as we reached home. I showered and changed before I texted Taehyung and started making ramen.

Taehyung's POV

It was almost 2 am, and I had just reached my parents home and entered my room when my phone pinged.

Amy:
Taehyung I'm back home

My room felt so warm, yet I missed her warmth so much. I got into bed and texted her back.

Me:
Baby, did you have fun today?

Amy:
It was fun

Amy:
But not my kind of fun

Amy:
Jay loved it though

Amy:
I tagged along for her and she was happy

Me:
Baby, I have to tell you something

Amy:
yeah... go on Taehyung

I stopped texting and called her, and she answered on the first ring.
"Taehyung, what's up?"

"Umm...Amy... I wanted to tell you something. I should've told you before," I spoke a bit nervously.

"Relax, Taehyung... you can tell me when you're ready. Don't pressure yourself," she stated calmly.

I took in a deep breath and then blew out my nervousness.
"Okay, Amy. I'm ready now."

"Okay, baby. Speak out. I'll listen to the end and then talk, okay?" She asked me, and I hummed in acceptance.

"This is about me. It might not be of any importance now, but I still felt I should tell you this. It happened over a year ago. There was a girl idol that I used to like a lot. She was also interested in me. She's from a small girl group called Sugar 'n Spice, and her stage name is Jade. Since you listen to k-pop, have you heard of her?" I asked her, and she thought for a few seconds before responding.

"Umm.. no.. Haven't heard before," she said.

"Her name is Ah Ra. My friend Soo Han's sister introduced me to her. They both studied together. So...we never kind of dated properly, but we used to text and speak over the phone, and all of my friends kept telling me to watch out and not to get too involved with her. But I ignored them and was attracted to her. It was a physical need more than anything. I really never felt any emotional attachment to her at any point," I paused a while and continued,

"Umm...and...we slept together once...actually it wasn't even finished. It was my first time ever...the first and last with her or anyone for that matter.

I was disgusted since she called me out by someone else's name when we were doing it. But I used a condom, so don't worry. I'm clean. I was disappointed and frustrated and just stopped midway and left. I haven't spoken to her ever since, and she didn't bother to give an explanation too. And casual sex is not my thing, so I haven't done it with anyone yet. No one knows this except my hyungs and Jimin and Jungkook, of course."

I doubted if Amy was still on the line since she was totally silent.
"Amy, are you there?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm listening," she responded softly.

"Mm... So, it took me a while to get over that incident. I haven't even thought about getting intimate with any other woman ever since then, that is until I met you and got closer to you. With you, I know and feel things very differently. It is.....a lot more emotional, and I want to express my love physically. I miss you so much each moment. You have shown me my brighter days by being the light in my life. I love you so much, Amy," my tears threatened to return once again.

After a short pause, Amy finally spoke, "Taehyung, I'm totally moved that you decided to tell me something from your past when you could have very well chosen not to. It is a part of your life, and you shared it with me. Thank you for trusting me so much.

Honestly, even if it were more than just a physical relationship in your past, I wouldn't let it affect our bond as long as we are together. Whatever is in the past, is meant to be there. I wholeheartedly accept every part of you from your past and present and the good and bad and everything about you, baby.

Unless we acknowledge everything and accept it all, we cannot be who we want to be in the future," her words were kind, considerate and mature.

I nodded to myself and said,
"Amy, I really wanted to open up to you one day, and I wanted to do it before we got physical. So, in a way I'm happy that we didn't do anything more on my birthday. This was like a thorn in my mind. Now that I've told you, I feel so relieved. I was worried and confused and almost had a mental breakdown. But you are so accepting of me. I couldn't ask for anything more."

"Baby, you accepted my past in just the blink of an eye. You've smoothed out our differences in age, culture, race and everything else and made me feel at home. What I've done is nothing compared to what you've done for me. I am so thankful to have you in my life, Taehyung," she said softly, and I missed her more now, more than ever.

"I really never loved her anything like I love you now, baby. It was only a physical attraction, and I was kind of desperate to lose my virginity. I feel disgusted and embarrassed when I think about it now though," I said feeling rather ashamed of myself.

"Taehyung, please don't feel bad. Let's leave the past in the past and live today, okay?" Amy sounded so cool and calm, and I was still wondering how I found her. Amy truly was a blessing in my life.

"I'm sorry, Amy," I apologized with all of my heart.

"Taehyung, come on... please don't be sorry about what happened in your past. Relax now. It's really late. Please sleep peacefully. We'll talk later, okay?" She said in a gentle voice, and we ended the call after wishing each other good night.

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Someone's here.
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