gnomecoming
[5 participants]

hollandaise sauce
i'm adding mel don't embarrass me

hollandaise sauce added mel to gnomecoming!

mel
no

mel has left gnomecoming!

hollandaise sauce added mel to gnomecoming!

mel has left gnomecoming!

hollandaise sauce added mel to gnomecoming!

hollandaise sauce
i never give up

hollandaise sauce
resistance is futile

hollandaise sauce changed mel to caramel sauce!

caramel sauce
did you give us coordinating contact names

caramel sauce

hollandaise sauce
i thought it was cute!

caramel sauce

caramel sauce
i'm out

hollandaise sauce
what why

caramel sauce
you already made me join the infinity war one i've hit my gc limit

caramel sauce
i'm not doing this

corn on the j-cob
tom talks about you in his sleep

hollandaise sauce
what the fuck did i just say about embarrassing me jacob

caramel sauce
embarrassing tom?

caramel sauce
maybe i could stick around a little longer actually

daya
tom sleeps in a hairnet

hollandaise sauce
that's a dirty lie

laura ingalls wilder
tom thought ptsd was a menstrual disorder

hollandaise sauce
it's a common mistake

daya
no it's not

corn on the j-cob
i once had to smack an ecstasy tablet out of tom's hand because he was going to eat it because he thought it was a sweet tart

hollandaise sauce
i thought that guy was just really nice and giving strangers candy to brighten their day

hairy son
tom used to have a crush on the school lunch lady

caramel sauce
wow he really does love hairnets

hollandaise sauce
status update: feeling humiliated in my hair net

daya
#exposed

corn on the j-cob
hey nothing wrong with the hairnet

corn on the j-cob
it keeps his curls thicc😩👅💦

hairy son
ah jacob you never fail to make me uncomfortable

hollandaise sauce
anyways sorry to interrupt my roast but

hollandaise sauce
actually i can't think of an excuse

hollandaise sauce
just stop being mean to me you heartless fiends

caramel sauce
sure and i'll also stop breathing air

hairy son
DAMN

daya
i like her

laura ingalls wilder
i like that she's mean to tom

hollandaise sauce
leave me alone i'll do anything

caramel sauce
saw off your thumb

hollandaise sauce
what no

caramel sauce
bleach your hair

hollandaise sauce
oh my god no not my hair

caramel sauce
eat a strawberry

hollandaise sauce
i'm allergic to strawberries

hollandaise sauce
i'll literally die

caramel sauce
exactly

hollandaise sauce
i'm not doing that

caramel sauce
well i tried to be reasonable

hairy son
this sexual tension makes me ill

corn on the j-cob
honestly there's even more sexual tension between the two of them than there is between me and tom

laura ingalls wilder
i'm into it

daya
mel what would you say if tom asked you on a date right now

caramel sauce
nothing i can't talk and laugh at the same time

hollandaise sauce

laura ingalls wilder
OH SHOOT

daya
i was feeling chilly but the blistering heat of that roast warmed me right up

hairy son
is this the police i'd like to report a murder

hollandaise sauce
i've been shot

caramel sauce
get fucked you toenail clipping

hollandaise sauce
i WAS going to invite you to the set of infinity war and give you the chance to meet daya and laura...

caramel sauce
wait i want to take it back

caramel sauce
i suck at apologies so

caramel sauce
unfuck you or whatever

caramel sauce
let me see my queens

laura ingalls wilder
yes!! ily!!

daya

caramel sauce

daya
mom who this is true love

laura ingalls wilder
don't even play z nothing can beat mom

hairy son
mom? is that what we're calling this disgusting flirtationship?

daya
my mom gave birth to me but mom gave me life

corn on the j-cob
i think they're cute

caramel sauce
tom's existence is like the sun to me

laura ingalls wilder
awww

corn on the j-cob
that's sweet

caramel sauce
i need him to stay thousands of miles away from me

hollandaise sauce

daya
don't meme me tom😤

hollandaise sauce
you don't own me

caramel sauce
don't meme her

hollandaise sauce
okay sorry

corn on the j-cob
cheCHAW

laura ingalls wilder
should i ask or will i regret it

corn on the j-cob
it's a whip sound

corn on the j-cob
because he's whipped

hairy son
what, with all due respect, the fuck

AUTHOR'S NOTE: only after writing this did i realize i forgot to put tony revolori in and was too lazy to add him so we're just moving past that. also i have no idea if tom is actually allergic to strawberries my stalking hasn't reached that extent yet sorry