@mjsantiago: i was forced to wear a hat to combat the freezing 71 degree weather and 2 mph winds
21 likes︱1 retweet
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@username: this better be damn sarcasm
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@username: u look so good!
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@username: $23 says tom already made this his lock screen
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@username: the weather needs to chill out
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@ianwright: @username it already did (get it) (hahahaha)
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@mjsantiago: @ianwright do you care what kind of wood your coffin is made of or should i just go wild
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@username: well mark me down as scared and horny
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@ianwright: @mjsantiago ha! you fool! death is what i've wanted all along!
17 people retweeted this!
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@ianwright: omg i'm going viral
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@mjsantiago: @ianwright wow congrats you're like the plague
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@theremylucas: but it's really too cold i could see my breath this morning
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@username: @theremylucas wow god forbid!!! time to move!!!
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@username: fuckin californians
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@imsebastianstan: hey the weather is just trying to be like mel's heart
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@mjsantiago: @imsebastianstan

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@juneharmon: is that the hat i knit for you??
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@mjsantiago: @juneharmon in theory yes
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@juneharmon:

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@mjsantiago: @juneharmon

@mjsantiago: thencewhere squatteth the toad of truth!
13 likes ︱ 2 retweets
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@ChrisEvans:

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@ballernina: that tweet is on us we let her have 5 hour energy
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@scottwoods12: it's terrifying
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@flameboy451: please send help she's doing donuts!!!!
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@username: wild
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@username: worth the day of school i'm missing
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@tomholland1996: mel is this a cry for help
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@tomholland1996: stay safe
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@mjsantiago: @tomholland1996 i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me

@scottwoods12: mel and ian have been arguing about @tomholland1996 for 2 hours straight
98 likes︱7 retweets
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@hitomikomatsu: the five hour energy wore off and now there's murder in mel's eyes
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@mjsantiago: it was a creative discussion
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@ianwright: no we were fighting
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@mjsantiago: discussion
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@ianwright: fight
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@mjsantiago: discussion
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@username: are they fighting about fighting
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@username: i love my ship😍
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@username: @username right?? they would be so cute together
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@username:

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@username:

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@Zendaya:

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@ianwright: @username yes! we're happily married with our 17th little boy on the way!
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@mjsantiago: @ianwright actually i'm joining a convent sorry ian you'll have to throw our children to the wolves
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@username: iconic
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@username: the kind of twitter thread that future generations will read about

@username: @mjsantiago are you dating tom holland??
45 likes︱61 retweets
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@mjsantiago: @username they'll nail the lid on my coffin before i nail tom
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@tomholland1996:

@tomholland1996: status update: living through the pain of rejection so i can meet @mjsantiago tomorrow
46.3k likes︱78.9k retweets
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@username: WHAT
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@username: dreams do come true😩
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@username:

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@juneharmon: this is the kind of content i deserve
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@RobertDowneyJr: excited for you two kids to meet!
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@imsebastianstan:

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@mjsantiago:

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@Zendaya: we're already placing bets on how long it'll take tom to cry tears of joy
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@tomholland1996: i don't know what you mean i'm a manly man i drink whiskey and do bicep curls with tree trunks and eat gravel
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@username: mel is going to destroy tom if they meet he's so fragile
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@username: i'm so worried for his safety😰
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@juneharmon: @mjsantiago maybe you should try being nicer to tom
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@mjsantiago: how do i report someone else's tweet
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@juneharmon: @mjsantiago this is for your own sake i don't want you going to prison for assault at such a young age
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@mjsantiago: @juneharmon i'd escape from prison we both know this
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@username: i'm 78% sure they drove to la because mel is on the no fly list

@flameboy451: finally made it to los angeles #sunrisetosunset @sajansinghphotography
234 likes︱65 retweets
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@username: this is so cool sajan
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@username: good luck tomorrow guys❤️❤️
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@username: kick some trojan ass!!
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@ballernina: nothing like a little bit of shameless self promotion
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@mjsantiago: putting the lame boy in flame boy
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@flameboy451: @ballernina @mjsantiago love my fans!! owe it all to them!!
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@scottwoods12: can't believe we made it through honestly
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@hitomikomtasu: we only came close to death about six or seven times which i think is pretty good
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@theremylucas: i mean half of everything is just ashes now but sure
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@flameboy451: @theremylucas in my defense that fire was actually accidental
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@reymor: you guys wouldn't even let me play any music
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@mjsantiago: @reymor your eleven hours of satanic chanting just didn't fit the mood
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@scottwoods12: well i'm upset i lost my special sun protection hat
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@ianwright: @scottwoods12 mel did you a favor by tossing it out the sunroof
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@scottwoods12: @ianwright that hat protected me from the sun!
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@mjsantiago: @scottwoods12 that hat protected your virginity
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@tomholland1996: can't wait to meet you guys tomorrow!
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@hectorpedo: can someone let me out of the trunk

AUTHOR'S NOTE: what an absolute mess