private messages

tomathan
drop whatever you're doing

melanoma
i don't want to drop adam i might hurt him

melanoma
get it

melanoma
just kidding i'm eating m&m cereal and writing vengeful yelp reviews

tomathan
i didn't know m&ms made a cereal

melanoma
they don't it's just m&ms in a bowl of milk

tomathan
knock knock

tomathan
it's diabetes

melanoma
i can do what i want get off my dick

melanoma
also the only food we have is halloween candy

tomathan
it's december

melanoma
fine "legally expired" halloween candy

tomathan
i pity your doctor

melanoma
joke's on you i haven't been able to afford to go to the doctor in years

tomathan
dear god

tomathan
well speaking of health issues

tomathan

tomathan
this picture caused a lot of them for me

melanoma
oh my god

tomathan
i know it was a paparazzi picture taken this morning

melanoma
june "accidentally" snapchatted me this picture last night too

melanoma

tomathan
sweet god on earth

tomathan
are you thinking what i'm thinking

melanoma
is it taco bell

tomathan
what

melanoma
is it jaundice

tomathan
mel no

melanoma
i got it

melanoma 
it's danny devito's knee caps

tomathan
this isn't a guessing game

melanoma
i won didn't i

tomathan
no i was thinking return of the jebi worked

melanoma
actually you might be right

melanoma
they were together last night and they were together this morning

melanoma
you know what that means

tomathan
they went stargazing

melanoma
they had sex

tomathan
oh

tomathan
our things were different

melanoma
stargazing?

melanoma
who are you galileo galilei

melanoma
is this the scientific revolution

tomathan
what i think it's romantic

tomathan
i'm an old soul

melanoma
sure gladys

melanoma
go back to speed walking or baking casseroles or whatever

tomathan
funny

tomathan
anyway what should we do about this

melanoma
i guess we should respect their privacy and keep it to ourselves

tomathan
you're right

tomathan
or...

melanoma
or?

tomathan
or we could publicly expose them in the groupchat

melanoma
i knew there was a reason we became friends

AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry for the  short chapter i just needed to use up some leftover manips from sonata and pay my debt to luminite