virginity war
[10+ participants]

tommy h added (xxx) xxx-xxx!

tommy h added (xxx) xxx-xxx!

tommy h changed (xxx) xxx-xxx to melon!

tommy h changed (xxx) xxx-xxx to prune!

melon
what fresh hell

prune
um

lizzie
JUNE HI❤️❤️

scar jo
we've missed you so much!

tic tac
finally some decent people in this chat

chad danforth
is that mel

chad danforth
you need to keep that girl away from me

mack the knife
hi mel big fan of your work

crisp evans
work?

mack the knife
making tom cry

chubby dumpling
um hi

prune
hi

chubby dumpling
how have you been

prune
good

prune
you?

chubby dumpling
yeah good

melon
do you guys think pigeons have feelings

ruffalo wild wings
uh

ruffalo wild wings
nice to meet you too i guess

melon
sorry i was trying to break the excruciatingly awkward tension

robert frowney jr
well then excellent work mel a+ no one is feeling awkward at all any more

melon

ruffalo wild wings
i like this girl

tommy h
me too

prune

lizzie
i'm hyperventilating someone stab me with an epi pen or something

chubby dumpling
june you owe me $50

prune
what why

chubby dumpling
you said it would take 2 months for mel and tom to fall in love i said it would take 2 years

prune
fine you can have your money but only because mom makes me soft

chad danforth
be careful you're dancing with the devil tom

lizzie
you guys are too cute😍

hemsworthy
i'm into it👍🏻

tommy h
wait this wasn't the plan

robert frowney jr
what plan?

melon
tom shut up this instant or i'm going to do bad things to your mouth

melon
WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS SO SEXUAL

melon
I MEANT IM GOING TO HURT HIM AND MAKE HIM SHUT UP

crisp evans
i'm sure that's what you meant mel

tommy h
wow i'm blushing

scar jo
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tic tac

prune
stable heart condition? never heard of it

ruffalo wild wings
so this is the woman you've chosen to love tom

melon
what no

mack the knife
this is the first one of tom's choices that i approve of

lizzie
i'm mom's #1 fan omg

chubby dumpling
well hold the fuck up now

chubby dumpling
y'all are bandwagoners june and i have been shipping this since day one

prune
it's true we spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to devise a plan to get you together

tommy h
haha what that's so dumb why would someone do that

prune
who do you think gave tom your number mel

melon
someone who wanted to see me suffer

tommy h
status update: feelings have been irreparably damaged

chubby dumpling
i woke up this morning thinking it would be any ordinary day

chubby dumpling
but instead jesus has chosen this day to be the day of miracles

chad danforth
seb are you even religious

chubby dumpling
no

crisp evans
not unless you count the two weeks he was in a cult

chubby dumpling
that wasn't a cult that was a community of believers in the falsification of the moon landing

crisp evans
you wore a tinfoil hat

chubby dumpling
yeah but only once because zork said it complimented my eyes

prune
wait was it the Circle Upholding Life's Truth

prune
i looked at their website

prune
they did a shitty job with the graphic design though so i took my moon landing conspiracy beliefs elsewhere

tic tac
THAT LITERALLY SPELLS CULT

hemsworthy
wake up america

robert frowney jr
i swear to god

crisp evans
*swear to zork

prune
whatever seb gets it

chubby dumpling
yeah june and i don't need the rest of you

tommy h
mel it's happening!!

melon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I AM THE BIGGEST SLUT FOR JEB OKAY LET ME LIVE