private messages

mel
hey

mel
☺️

arjun
did you just send me an emoji

arjun
what's going on

arjun
what do you want from me

mel
it's just an emoji

mel
what i can't express myself now

arjun
if i had a nickel for every time you sent an emoji and i ended up spending the night in jail i'd have 2 nickels

arjun
which isn't a lot but it's still worrying that it happened twice

mel
all i asked was your help moving the sofa

mel
i didn't KNOW it had drugs hidden in it

arjun
what about when you sent me the cactus emoji and i ended up hundreds of dollars in debt

arjun
or the peace sign?

arjun
i never recovered from the emotional toll

arjun
i can go on and on

mel
something no girlfriend of yours has ever said

mel
haha high five

arjun
what why would i high five you for decimating my self esteem

mel
for funsies?

arjun
i'm out

mel
wait i'm sorry

mel
this is nothing like the other times

mel
this favor comes at no price 

mel
i just need you to dance

arjun
i mean i can cha cha real smooth but why

mel
i need a dance partner for june and seb's wedding

arjun
wait but what about that tom guy

arjun
why don't you just take him

arjun
aren't you guys together

mel
WHAT hahaha

mel
no

mel
that's ridiculous 

arjun
right i forgot the only lasting relationship you've ever had was with a cup of pudding

mel
pudding treats me right okay

mel
pun intended

arjun
ugh puns

arjun
am i going to have to endure that all night

mel
title of your sex tape

arjun
i'm out again

mel
no wait

mel
i really need a date

mel
i can't take tom

arjun
why not

mel
i just can't

arjun
hm

mel
the wedding has free food

arjun
really?

mel
yes

mel
one dance and the bottomless buffet is yours to plunder

arjun
okay i'll do it

mel
really free food is all it takes

arjun
we men are simple creatures

mel
it's good to know you consider yourself a man

mel
it's not like you can't eat cilantro because it's too spicy

arjun
i have a sensitive palate

mel
whatever i'll see you there

arjun
do i have to wear a tux

mel
no arjun please show up in your taylor swift pajamas

arjun
done

private messages

melanoma
got my date

melanoma
arjun and i are going to put your moves to shame

tomathan
fuck
[deleted]

private messages

tom
hey!

tom
i know we don't talk much but i was hoping you could help me with something

kara
hi!

kara
also yes of course i'm here to help!!

tom
so

tom
mel is taking arjun to the wedding

kara
oh

tom
i don't really know what to do with myself

kara
sweetie i'm sorry

kara
mel is...mel

kara
she can be kind of an idiot she doesn't know what she's doing i promise

tom
isn't that worse somehow

tom
she doesn't even care enough about me to realize how much she's hurting me

kara
mel cares about you

kara
more than you would believe

tom
so why is she going to the wedding with her ex boyfriend and i'm going alone?

kara
i don't know

kara
i don't understand what goes on in mel's head half the time but i'm sure she has a good reason

tom
right

tom
anyways about that favor

tom
i kind of need a date to the wedding

tom
do you know anyone?

kara
hmm

kara
hey what about nina?

kara
she thinks you're really nice and she also took 2 months of tap dance so she'll probably kill it on the dance floor

tom
but isn't she one of mel's friends?

tom
wouldn't mel be mad

kara
i don't know

kara
do you want to make her a little mad?

tom is typing...

tom
what's nina's number

private messages

tomathan
got my date :)

melanoma
tessa doesn't count i hate to break it to you

tomathan
nope it's a real human girl

melanoma
oh really?

melanoma
who

tomathan
nina

tomathan
she's so nice and cute and she really wanted to go

melanoma
wait what

tomathan
oh wait sorry is that okay with you?

tomathan
i mean you don't mind right

melanoma
no why would i

melanoma
sounds great

tomathan
yup

melanoma
so arjun and i will see you there then i guess

tomathan
nina and i can't wait

melanoma
good

tomathan
good

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i've never written such a passive aggressive conversation in my life jeez. i actually really hate this chapter but i'm too lazy to edit so enjoy your garbage everyone.

ALSO (MILDLY IMPORTANT): i've extended the deadline for the contest to june 4! a couple people pmed me asking for more time so it's yours for the taking. (also i forgot about the deadline lmao) enjoy! i can't wait to see what you guys make