nerd nation
[10+ participants]

mel
meeting in bancroft hall at 4 pm tomorrow

mel
i expect to see everyone there

mel
state championships are in 3 months we can't afford to waste any time

scott
i'll be there!

nina
got it👍🏼

ian
whatever you say cap

remy
sounds dope i'm ready for a paradigm shifting evening of science

hitomi
don't be pretentious remy

mel
telling a competitive team of scholars not to be pretentious is like telling sajan not to set fires

sajan
speaking of which i'm banned from bancroft

ian
i guess you could say you're

ian
bannedcroft

hitomi
shut up ian

mel
since when

sajan
since i lit one of their fake plants on fire

scott
really sajan? a library full of paper and you chose to burn a plastic plant?

mel
thanks you for contributing your opinion on what sajan should focus his pyromania on

hitomi
my grandma sent me clogs in the mail you can burn those instead sajan

ian
just give them to kara she'll love them

remy
BOOOOO

mel
remy remember our policy on not booing art history majors

ian
he didn't remyember

hitomi
shut UP ian

scott
oh has anyone seen my computer science textbook?

scott
i think i left it at the last meeting

reyna
is it the blue and white one with the blood stain on page 34?

scott
well there didn't use to be a blood stain

reyna
hm

nina
what the fuck

hitomi
i thought we removed reyna from groupchat bc she wasn't on decathlon anymore

mel
we did but then raveen dropped out and we had to put her in as alternate

reyna
hey speaking of missing items has anyone seen my shovel

reyna
i need it for something important

ian
i feel like we should call someone

hitomi
like the police maybe

mel
listen reyna's definitely a serial murderer but she's our best math rep

reyna
thanks

nina
oh i think i have your textbook scott

nina
does it have a strangely detailed drawing of remy in it?

scott
no

scott
ok fine yes

remy
what

nina
i ship it

mel
guys time to be serious

mel
we're heading down to LA in a little less than 3 months to compete with STEM teams from around the country

mel
we need to focus

mel
i'll go over our battle plan together tomorrow but we're going to need to work harder than ever

hitomi
mel if you work any harder you'll explode

ian
yeah you've already worked yourself half to death

mel
well i still have another half to go

mel
and i'm using it to win state

ian
okay so now that mel is gone i think we should stage an intervention tomorrow at the meeting to make her stop overworking herself

hitomi
definitely

sajan
mel studies too much

scott
she's an amazing captain but she's going to burn out if she keeps pushing herself so hard

nina
i know i worry about her

remy
she needs a break😔

mel
you guys know i'm still here right

ian
no one removed her?

mel
no

ian
oh no

ian
please don't tear me in half mel

mel
no fucking promises

ian
i'm literally quaking with fear

ian
that's not sarcasm i am so afraid

mel
so

mel
we'll be meeting at 4pm tomorrow

mel
we'll be revising the fundamental theorems of multivariable calculus in addition to our overall competition strategy

mel
except for ian of course

mel
because they'll be busy serving tiny bits of his corpse in the cafeteria lasagna

hector
good one mel

hitomi
no one cares hector

mel
shut up hector

nina
jesus hector

sajan
can i set him on fire

hector
what

AUTHOR'S NOTE: people seem to enjoy theory's minor characters so here's a chapter featuring them because i don't really know what to do with this fic. also thank you so much for 10k!