private messages

unknown
yooooooo

unknown
what's up web boy

unknown
wait holy shit

unknown
you should become a doctor and call yourself web md

tom
who is this

unknown
god

tom
oh hi ian

tom changed unknown to ian!

ian
tom my man!

tom
what can i do you for

ian
a nickel

ian
ha just kidding

ian
just texting to invite you to come stay with us if you want

tom
really?

ian
yeah pop on by uc berkeley any time

ian
everyone wants to meet you

ian
and we'll show you how to play trivia trials

tom
what is that

ian
it's like jeopardy with magic tricks and also the floor is lava

tom
of course

tom
why wasn't that my immediate assumption

tom
are you guys even allowed to have visitors in your dorm?

ian
nah

ian
but we're also not allowed to have pets and travis is thriving so

tom
travis the rat?

ian
well technically he's either a large rat or a small dog

ian
the jury is out right now

tom
dear god

ian
yes?

tom
good one

tom
so what prompted this sudden invitation anyway?

ian
mel's been really mopey

ian
all she does is study and sit in her room alone and listen to those nineteen hour sad cello soundtracks

ian
she doesn't even eat pudding anymore

ian
i think she misses you

tom
mel's software doesn't permit emotional attachment nice try

ian
i'm serious

ian
i mentioned you the other day and her face got all sad and droopy like a basset hound

tom
mel doesn't miss me trust me

ian
you've been apart 2 weeks already

ian
don't you miss her?

tom
how could i not

tom is typing...

tom
i guess maybe i could come up for a day or two sometime

ian
then it's settled

tom
thanks ian

ian
i think you mean thank god

AUTHOR'S NOTE: a quick segue into the next chapter, which is a real life (literally real life) shit show i've pulled out of my ass to say thank you for 100k