19 | Oddities

Monday, December 11, 2017

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Insanity:

Letting the way other people handle conflict cause you to be actually angry with them. And then randomly accusing them of leeching your car.

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            It was a new week, which meant it was a fresh slate for roommate issues.

            For the past few days, Paige had been...off. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, or why she was upset, but she seemed to have been actively avoiding Ashley and me.

            I feel like haven't quite given an adequate introduction to Paige as a roommate. (1) She didn't usually cause problems around the apartment, but the fact remained that we had never gotten incredibly close. She didn't make me want to pull my hair out like Samantha and Madison did, but she wasn't a close friend like Ashley and Christina were, despite the fact that she did a lot of stuff with Christina, Ashley and me. She was quieter than Ashley and me, and vastly opinionated when it came to how conflicts in the apartment were handled.

            Paige was more on the same page (2) as Madison—she handled everything passive aggressively, never being willing to confront anyone to their faces. She hadn't agreed with my decision when I decided to have a three-hour long conversation with Samantha to sort out everything we were disagreeing on. She didn't like it when I complained to Ashley about Madison behind her back, either—so in all honesty, I wasn't sure what I was allowed to do in Paige's eyes. Direct confrontation was a no-no, but so was talking about it indirectly.

            Anyways.

            Paige had been ignoring me for almost a week at this point, and I wasn't feeling it. I was already—seemingly permanently—on edge with Madison, and I didn't need to feel that animosity towards anyone else in the apartment.

            "Hey, Paige?" I knocked on the door to her and Christina's bedroom Monday afternoon after I returned home from orchestra, leaving my violin in my bedroom before going to theirs, "Are you home?"

            A muffled voice could be heard from inside, so I let myself in.

            "Hey." I said again, closing the door behind me. Paige was sitting at her desk chair, working on a drawing. She was incredibly gifted artistically—which probably came in handy as a Graphic Design major.

            "Hi." She replied shortly, not bothering to look up.

            I sat down at Christina's desk chair across from her awkwardly, trying to make small talk before delving into the issues I wanted to discuss.

            "How's Sam?" I asked, referring to her boyfriend of almost two months.

            "He's fine." Paige replied before turning around in her chair to face me. "Can I help you with something?"

            I nodded.

            "Yeah, actually. I just...I feel like we've been off for the past week. I was wondering if I did anything to make you upset."

            Paige was silent for a moment.

            "And I know you don't like confrontation," I added, "So I'm not trying to make this a big deal. I've just felt a little strange lately."

            "It's not a big deal, I mean...look, Morgan. I just feel like things haven't been going in the right direction in the apartment recently. There's too much drama, and I need to stay away from it."

            I raised my eyebrows.

            "How so?"

            She shifted in her chair uncomfortably.

            "I mean, you had those issues with Samantha, and with Madison, and that drama with Peter...I just feel like there's so much negative energy surrounding you." (3)

            I cocked my head to the side. I tried to make it a point to take other people's concerns seriously instead of immediately denying that they had any merit. I wasn't always going to be in the right, and I could accept that—but at the same time, I didn't believe I exuded a negative energy.

            Then again, I was definitely biased.

            "Alright." I nodded, "I definitely see where you're coming from—I feel like this semester has been way off with the drama. But Peter was just guy drama...I feel like we all have guy drama, we're in college. I didn't see anyone putting up a fuss when what's-his-face dumped Madison."

            She shrugged.

            "I guess so."

            "And Samantha and Madison...I'm not completely in the right with them by any means, obviously, but I do try my hardest to solve conflict head-on when it happens."

            Paige shook her head.

            "That's what I'm saying. It's just a little too...forward for me, I guess."

            I raised my eyebrows.

            "It's how I choose to solve the problems that arise in my life. I'm not going to change that, especially since with Samantha, our conversation led to a lot more understanding and what might turn out to actually be a friendship."

            Paige was silent.

            "It's my car." She blurted out, "You use me for my car. I feel like that's all you ever want from me is a ride."

            I felt my eyes widen. In complete and utter honesty, I could only remember being in Paige's car once—and it was when she had asked me to tag along to pick up Bryant from the airport. Christina drove the entire apartment everywhere we needed to be—from the grocery store to the doctor's office to the mall. Paige was hardly home enough for us to even remember that she had a car for us to use.

            "Paige, I—when was the last time I was in your car? Like honestly, can you remember?"

            She shrugged.

            "I drove you to the grocery store a few weeks ago."

            I shook my head.

            "You weren't here to drive me to the grocery store. Christina drove us as an apartment and then paid for all of the group groceries so we could Venmo her back."

            Paige was silent.

            "I guess."

            I nodded slightly, not completely fine with how the conversation had gone but also not in the mood to be leveled accusations that were honestly just...strange.

            "Alright, well...I'm gonna go. Are we good?"

            She nodded silently.

            I left the room and went back into my own, wondering if I was the crazy one here. (4)

***

            I was about to break my rule about not actually going on a real date with anyone from Tinder.

            That Michael guy had been messaging me for the entire week, and we seemed to be hitting things off pretty well. He was funny, cute (judging from his profile picture), and didn't seem like a serial killer.

            So, when he texted me asking about going out sometime that week, I caved. I caved, but not without ensuring that I had backup in case he really was a serial killer.

            How about Wednesday night? We can watch Pretty Little Liars at my apartment, since you don't seem to understand how great of a show it is.

            Haha, deal. 7:00?

            Yeah. 7:00.

            Before suggesting Wednesday as a date, I had made sure that every single one of my roommates was going to be home, so as to make sure I wouldn't be kidnapped or murdered on this date. It seemed like the safest way to go about meeting a stranger from the internet.

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Theory:

Ashley and I were pretty sure that Paige had never had to deal with conflict in her life because she actively avoided it like the plague. She could be seething at someone and never let them know unless they came up to her.

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(1) Which is completely my bad, since it's been four months and nineteen chapters, but like...in case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda just giving the highlights (lowlights?) of the year in this book, and Paige has been relatively boring up to this point.

(2) No pun intended.

(3) When I read this back it makes me think of Phoebe in Friends when she tries to cleanse Ross' aura when he's all upset about his divorce.

(4) I was not, thank you very much.