Life is a nightmare. Life is a cruel game. You could have something today and lose it tomorrow. You might not have something today but get it tomorrow. You could be someone today and be no one tomorrow. You could achieve something today and loose it all tomorrow. Life is a backstabber. It never whispers what tomorrow holds. Such is life. It is unpredictable. Inevitably coexistence of cruel games.

We drove into the school with a silver silence revolving inside the car. It was an unpleasant feeling. Abba parked the car and shut down the engine. The car still silent. He cleared his throat in attempting to break the silence but to no avail. I certainly knew he was trying not to create an awkward moment. But that awkwardness was created two weeks ago when we got an admission to this local school. Abba got down from the drivers side and opened the door for us. Initially indicating for us to get down from the car. He gave Neenah a piece of paper and final opend his month since morning and said, "I've done all registrations for you girls, all you've to do it find your way to class. Your classrooms are indicated in this paper. Have a good day and i love you both."

Neenah weekly collected the paper and nodded to him. I was still in shock and hoping i wake up from this nightmare. But alas! Life is not a wish granting factory. I cant just wish and it happens. Life will always get a way to twist, complicate, and mostly disappoint.

We got down from the car. I was wearing a black long skirt with a slit lace at the back and a long sleeve yellow plain shirt with white scarf. Neenah was wearing a black Abaya with beads embroidery and a flat slippers. As we were walking towards our worst destination, I glanced back at the car and saw Abba cleaning a tear on his face. I immediately felt bad for my behaviors recently since we got bankrupt, I don't see us a poor but rather bankrupt, even though it's practically the same thing as zero dollars, but I would rather be bankrupt with hope than be poor without hope, if that makes sense, and I ran back to him and hugged him.
"Don't worry Abba, this is as much better than not going to school, and it still doesn't make us love you less. I love you more in fact." I hugged him more and ran back to Neenah with a smile on my face and a tiny little tear sliding down my face.
I held her left hand and said, "come on, let's go look for our classes, I heard public schools punishes late comers and I don't want to get into that phase on my first day." She halfheartedly smiled back at me and continued looking at the environment in front of us.

***
My optimism was taken aback when I walked into my classroom and my jaw dropped to the floor. It was definitely nothing like I had expected. It felt so real and I could practically fall down and faint and wake up and fall down again and again and I would still not believe, I Amina Ahmad .... is standing at a public school as a student not even to say, it wasn't a dream, it was reality. I looked around me, from the floor, it was cemented, with many cracks as if the foundation of the building is about to fall off, the walls are painted faint yellow but it looks like it has been painted for more than a decade and the dirtiest walls I have ever seen in my entire  eighteen years of living. The space in the classroom has been filled with wooden cranky looking desks attached with the seats, the Nails popping out of the wooden desk and looks quite dangerous for students to sit on, the desks were not more than twenty and it occupies half of the classroom space. Well, worst of all, the classroom is filled up with dirty looking students. What surprises me the most is, how could the look this dirty and energetic this early morning? Well surprises seems to get attached to my life this morning.
Looking back to my life in my old school, The hallways so neat and has less dirty kids. The walls were sparkling clean, not disgusting like the one I am standing before. It was at this very moment I was able to recall back on the beautiful life I had and be thankful.

I was so lost in my thought when I suddenly felt myself falling down. Someone bumped into me. I looked up at the person and it was a guy, I mean a man, well quite looks like a man, but he was in uniform. He looks like he is in his late twenties or more. And dude could not even have the decency to feel apologetic. He looked at me and laughed then asked me if I was a new student. The rage of anger I haven't felt for a long time was catching up to my neck and was about to be spilled out through my mouth when another dude came up through the door and started laughing. I got up and dusted off the ugly dirt from my cloth. I was raging in red already.
"Don't you got any manners dude? You should have at least an ounce of decency to at least say sorry?" I spit out.
The guys both looked shocked and amazed at the same time.

"Wow...are you forming accent for us? Look don't mess with me this morning, I go bash your head." The guy-man student said, he raised his eyebrows at me and then said agin at an unruly manner.
"Look go and find a chair to sit down if not you stand up for today entire." And he walked away.

At that moment I was unsure if that man was not a cleaner. I was still lost in my thought when I teacher came into the class and immediately the students stood up and greeted "good morning ma"
It came as another surprise yet again this morning. Well I'm so full of unwelcomed surprises today. Hopefully it ends well.

I saw an empty seat at the end of the class and as I was about to sit on it, trying so hard in cleaning  the dirty with a paper, a girl with some kinda weird hairstyle pushed me aside and sat down. As I was about to open my mouth and protest the teacher pointed at me and said,
" hey you, don't stand in the center of my class, if you don't have a seat go and stand at the back of the class. Next time you will come early."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I am a new student  and I came quite early. And this girl just unruly pushed me off the seat right now. And anyways I can't attend the class while standing, can I?" I said and asked at the same time with a raised voice because at this moment I was about to lose my temper.
From the face of the teacher I regretted opening my mouth.
"Listen girl, don't annoy me this morning or else I will beat the living hell out of you, will you common go and stand at the back of the class and next time don't you dare argue with me when I talk." The teacher said pointing her middle finger at me.
This is it. I will not stand her and let my dignity be taken for granted.
" what the...." i was about to complete my sentence when a girl took my hand And dragged me to the back of the class.
"do you want to be beaten? This teacher is very strict and she won't mind if it is your first day. Just let her be, We will go and look for a chair after her class.ok?"

"But...she was rude...and I...I.."

"Don't worry I understand. You look like you have not been to a government school before." The girl said, with a crook smile on her face.
I was so angry at the moment, I just nodded at the girl and took out my book and pen and began to write while standing for the first time in my life.
I can't believe I let this teacher go. How dare she talk to me like that? I was raging within and if care is not taken, I was about to explode.
Immediately, Abba's face flashes through my eyes and I restrain my anger.

For you Abba,
for you Abba,
I will do this for you Abba.

***
Assalama alaikum
Hey guys, I promise I'm still alive. I've just been so busy lately and doing a lot of stuff. I could hardly get time for myself. In this quarantine period I got time to write more and post for y'all. I hope you like it. Please don't forget to wash your hands and wear face masks when going out. Stay safe!

Guys! I have started a blog about lifestyle, art, writing, paintings and more. Please get a minute to check it at WWW.khamilah.wordpress.com
Thank you.

Eid Mubarak❤️

                                          Yours khamee