Because it's you.

When he told Eujae the same answer a couple of days ago, Poll admittedly didn't stop to take the other person's feelings into account. He supposed it was an appropriate thing to say at the moment, so he didn't think about how much it would affect the receiver.

It was just a casual remark, something that he never regarded as a big deal.

He never considered that the words would hit hard.

Until now.

The fact that he might have been callous with his comment at that time finally gets through his head upon reaping the same offhand response.

Unable to come up with any counterstatements, Poll bites his bottom lip and lowers his head. A heavy atmosphere hangs in between them for a fleeting moment.

"Go back to the beach house, Apollo," Eujae then instructs for the third time, the distance in his voice befitting the cold air.

Sensing Eujae walk away, Poll's head perks up. He stares blankly at the man's retreating back while a range of emotions begins to surface inside him.

Is this how everything is going to end again?

Earlier, he was just worried when he noticed the expression Eujae made as he stepped out of the beach house. Poll thought Eujae was pissed at him because he was being too affectionate with Lia so he intended to set things straight with him when he followed him outside.

He had no idea that this confrontation would take an unexpected turn.

Poll's stomach twists, his chest tightens as he watches Eujae get farther and farther from him. It is not like the guy has never walked away from him before, but this is the first time Poll feels scared that Eujae may really disappear from his sight if he doesn't do anything to stop him. He wants to go after him, but he finds himself unable to take a single step as he is paralyzed by the fear of making the situation worse.

Helpless, Poll hangs his head again.

He acknowledges that he has always been crass when it comes to Eujae, and he never thought all the crudeness he'd let out on the guy would blow up on his face at one point.

Perhaps he deserves this. Perhaps Eujae is justified in hurting him back.

But he didn't have to refuse Poll a chance to explain everything. He didn't have to close any doors for the male twin to at least make it right.

"And you're the one who said you'd keep trying until you make me believe," Poll mumbles to the ground, so quiet that he's certain Eujae will not be able to hear him. "So what? You're saying this is the end? You're saying you're giving up?"

He feels his eyes burn and his lips quiver. Desperate to force back the tears that are threatening to arise, Poll closes his eyes tightly.

He is not going to cry. He doesn't want to cry.

In the end, emotions manage to fight their way through.

"Is this the extent of your resolve?" Poll bawls, his voice sounding as though it's about to fall apart. He clenches his fists as he stays put, his whole body unmoving but shaking.

He doesn't know how long he's been in the same position when he feels something warm around his wrist. The contrast in temperature makes him flinch and look up.

Just as he sees Eujae's concerned expression, Poll feels like the thing that's squeezing his chest and stomach comes undone all at once.

He's back. He came back for him. He can't believe he's in front of him again, but Poll is relieved to see his face. Too relieved that he could cry.

And then, Eujae mentions something that makes Poll come back to his senses. "Are you... Are you crying?"

A teardrop falls from an eye as he blinks. "What?" Confused, it takes a few seconds for Poll to comprehend what Eujae is talking about. "I'm not!" He tugs his hand out of the other man's hold and rubs his eyes. Even when he catches the tears from his face, he still tries to cover up. "I'm... this is not... Don't make things up. Something just got in my eyes."

This is embarrassing. He never wanted to be seen like this. That's why, for years, he's trained himself not to cry in front of other people, to never show his weak side to anyone. It's like building up an imaginary barrier around him, something that can hide his vulnerability.

He's always been good at wearing the pretense that he's strong, but lately, he realized that when he's around Eujae, that same façade that he's mastered for a long time is always quick to crumble. The guy just has a way of easily dislodging Poll's defenses, no matter how solid the male twin thinks they are.

Eujae holds him again, this time around the upper arm, before whispering, "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I told you I'm not crying!" Poll glares at him, and remains adamant in his denial despite the sniffles and tears giving him away. "And why would I be crying because of you?! You're too full of yourself!"

He notices that the look in Eujae's eyes softens. Under the gentle gaze, Poll finds himself heating up. Not that his face doesn't already feel hot.

As if the warm expression were not enough, Eujae does the one thing that almost manages to strip off the last layer of Poll's resistance.

He steps closer to Poll and puts a hand on the back of the latter's head. Carefully, as if he's holding something fragile, Eujae draws the male twin's face against the crook of his neck and then wraps an arm around Poll's middle.

In that instant, the yearning to melt in Eujae's embrace floods over Poll. He wants the other man to solace him once again, take care of him until the tiniest ache that he's experiencing vanishes away.

As he contemplates the situation, Poll doesn't know whether to laugh or continue crying. One moment, he was frustrated by Eujae's coldness towards him, the next, all he wants to do is break down in his arms.

The truth that Eujae is the reason Poll is hurting sounds too far-fetched right now, as his very presence is also the only thing that can make the male twin feel this comfort. His familiar cool smell, his gentle hold, his proximity to him—everything about the man is soothing, helping Poll forget about his earlier distress.

"Alright. I'm sorry," Eujae murmurs against Poll's head, his mouth brushing close above the latter's temple. "I'm here. I'm listening. I won't walk away anymore, okay?"

Maybe it's the cold gust, or maybe it's the soft touch of Eujae's lips on his head that causes Poll to shiver.

As if to make sure that Eujae is still there and will not go far from him again, Poll grips the sleeve of the man's polo shirt and keeps his face buried against his neck, before mumbling in a virtually muffled voice, "I realized I might have upset you when I told you it was hard for me to believe you because it's you. I understand if you want to get back at me for that time but... I just... I just want you to believe me."

"Yeah, I'm sorry for not believing you. Don't cry anymore, okay? What if people see us and think I'm bullying you?"

Poll scowls, thinking that Eujae has apologized for enough and that he should stop pointing out that he's crying. He attempts to lean away just so he can direct the glower at Eujae and protest the remark. However, it's like the man has anticipated the reaction, so he maintains a firm hold and pulls the male twin closer if possible.

Resigned, Poll stops trying to object and continues clearing up the real issue instead. "I did want to thank you for staying with me last time. I really do. It's just that... I didn't know what to do every time I saw you."

Eujae hums as if to let Poll know that he's still listening.

"The truth is, I have been feeling awkward since... since that night on the overpass. I always get this strange feeling when you're near. I know it's stupid, but I just don't know what to do about it because I don't even understand what the hell it is. You said I have been avoiding you, but whose fault do you think that is?"

This time, he doesn't get a response, and Poll feels the arms around him go rigid.

Eujae moves his hands to Poll's shoulders, and then he carefully draws back. Questions are flickering in his eyes when Poll looks up at him.

"What? It's my fault?" Eujae looks and sounds genuinely puzzled. However, the expression doesn't last long when comprehension crosses his face. "Wait, you don't mean..." He does a facepalm before putting his hand on the back of his neck. Rubbing his nape, Eujae continues, "I see... I should have known. No, I'm sorry."

It is Poll's turn to be confused. Frowning, he grumbles, "What are you sounding so convinced about?"

Eujae lets his hand fall to his side and then smiles. "Nothing. So, is there a particular reason why you've been feeling awkward with me?"

It is obvious that he's trying to avoid a certain topic, but Poll determines not to prod.

He looks to the ground and shuffles his feet as he starts explaining, "Well, 'cause you caught me while I was in one of my most vulnerable moments, right? So I thought maybe I'd been feeling embarrassed to be seen like that. No one ever saw me like that after all." He gives a sidelong glance to the sea and keeps making small, restless movements. "Also, when you stayed with me at that time on the overpass, and you know, I mean, we were so close that time, and don't you find it strange? Guys don't normally comfort each other like that, right?" He looks back at Eujae, anticipating his response.

With a smirk, Eujae rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He turns his head to the side and discreetly whispers, "So naive."

Barely catching the remark, Poll makes a face. "What?"

Eujae looks back at him with a grin. He shrugs. "I said you're one of a kind."

"That's not what I heard you say."

The moment Eujae's grin widens, Poll knows he's about to lose this round.

"Then why did you still ask if you already heard it?"

Dissatisfied with the turn of this exchange, Poll furrows his brows even harder and does an angry pout. Before he can even think of anything to say, Eujae continues to talk, giving Poll no chance to counter.

"Alright, let's do this. Since you've been feeling uncomfortable around me and you think it's because a side of you that's supposed to be a secret has been exposed to me, why don't you ask me a personal question too, something that, you think, can make us even?" Eujae raises a brow and then tilts his head, giving Poll a once-over. "Although I honestly don't see what's the big deal about guys comforting and standing close to each other, Apollo. I hugged you earlier, and you still seem fine to me. You even let me see you cry."

Poll never thought that it was possible for someone to blush so many times in a span of an hour until now that he's experiencing it himself. Whether it's because of annoyance or embarrassment or both, he feels blood rush all over his body once more.

"I told you I was not crying!" He shouts, the rasp in his voice intensifying with the high pitch. "And you hugged me first! You already seemed upset with me and I thought you'd get angrier if I pulled away, so I just let you! It was you who needed consoling!" Poll huffs and looks fiercely at Eujae, hoping it will deter the guy from further making fun of him.

Unfortunately, it seems like his actions are only making Eujae more and more amused. The mirth initially appears in his eyes and a stifled smile, before it develops into a bout of snickers.

"Oh god, you really are something, aren't you?" Eujae remarks in between chuckles.

"Why are you la..." Poll falters as his nose itches. "Laugh–ha–achoo!"

That immediately stops Eujae from laughing as the concerned expression returns to his face. "That's why I've been telling you to go back inside."

"But you–"

"Yeah, yeah, it's my fault." Nodding, Eujae cuts him off. He looks down at his wrist, and Poll assumes he wants to check the time. However, he must have realized that he is not wearing a watch, so he reaches for his pocket to pull out his phone. "I forgot I left my watch in my and Cloud's room. It's getting late, and Nick is probably waiting for you to go back to your room too."

Eujae's mouth tightens into a thin line as he stares at his phone. The sudden shift in his expression doesn't escape Poll, and he wonders if Eujae is seeing something on his phone that caused the expression.

Eujae then rummages through the pockets of his shorts, as though he's searching for something important. He stops when it seems like he's finally found it. Opening his palm in front of him to look at the thing he fished out, Eujae lets out an oath under his breath.

Poll is just about to ask if there is any problem when Eujae beats him into talking first. The man's tone is serious as he speaks. "Apollo, you know, we already had an arrangement about the rooms and who are going to share them, right?"

The male twin nods. They had already talked about it earlier. There are three rooms in the beach house they rented, so they decided that the girls would take the biggest room while the boys would share the remaining two rooms. Poll would be roommates with Nick, and Eujae with Cloud.

"Well, it seems like there's going to be a change in our plan."

Instead of elaborating, Eujae holds out his phone in front of Poll to show something that's on the screen. It's a message from Cloud.

Hey, mate, are you with Poll right now? You guys haven't come back since Poll followed you outside. The guys are tired and we decided to retire for the night, but I just found out that you took our room's key with you. I'd been trying to call your phone but you were not answering. We don't know when you'll come back so we just decided that Nick and I will be sharing a room instead of our original arrangement. I'll just get my stuff there tomorrow, so bring Poll back with you to the room. You guys should have some rest too. It's getting late.

"I'm sorry," Eujae mutters, the regret apparent in his voice, "My phone was in silent mode, so I didn't hear when he was calling, and I also didn't notice that I took the key with me."

Poll takes his eyes off the phone. Looking back at Eujae, he is greeted by the man's apologetic smile. "Why are you apologizing again? It's not like the world is going to end just because we have to change rooms."

"No. It's just that I'm assuming you'd be more comfortable if you stayed with Nick since you guys are together more often," Eujae explains. He looks more relieved now, but a small hint of guilt is still in his eyes.

"I don't mind," Poll mumbles. He averts his eyes and begins shifting on his feet again. "I don't want you to go on thinking that I'm the one who's avoiding you. And you said I could ask anything about you, right? There's actually something that I wanna ask, so maybe we can talk about it later in the room."

When he turns back at Eujae, Poll realizes that he's looking at him with a warm expression again.

"Okay." Eujae passes by Poll and pats his head. "Let's go back then," he says, before walking to return to their rented place.

Poll spins on his heels, but doesn't immediately follow Eujae. For a brief while, he only watches the man's back. He then touches the spot on his head where Eujae patted him a minute ago.

"I told you to stop treating me like a kid," he mumbles to the air, pouting and frowning before he runs to catch up with Eujae.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"You want to know if I have ever been harassed by a woman?"

When Eujae told him a while ago that he could ask anything about him, the first thing that came to Poll's mind was this subject. Earlier, he thought Eujae wouldn't mind if he tried to get the story out of him. But now, seeing his incredulous expression, Poll realizes that this must be a touchy issue to talk about.

"I..." Poll looks up at Eujae, who is casually leaning on the nightstand in their room. He, on the other hand, is sitting Indian-style on the bed while hugging a jumbo pillow. "Maybe I was being presumptuous. Just forget I asked. I understand if you're not comfortable talking about it."

The puzzlement and uncertainty in Eujae's eyes amplify. "No. It's not like I am uncomfortable about this topic, but I'm just wondering what makes you think that I have that kind of experience?"

"Well, remember when you and Tem had a discussion about it after you..." Poll stares down at the bed to study each fold on the sheet and squeezes the pillow in his arms harder. "When you helped me with that lady who was touching me in the grocery store, and then Tem asked you why you didn't bring that incident to the police and you said you were skeptical to bring those kinds of issues to the police 'cause a lot of people don't really take them seriously," Poll speaks fast and without a pause, before slowing down as he starts feeling more uncertain. "You looked kinda... you looked serious at that time so I thought maybe there was a story behind that. But maybe I was just jumping to a conclusion."

"Oh? So you were actually paying attention then? I thought you were only interested in the muffins I gave you. I'm surprised you even remember our conversation at that time."

At the remark and the teasing tone, all of Poll's attention snaps back at Eujae. He frowns, wondering how Eujae can still be this easygoing. "I'm being serious here."

"Yeah, you are," Eujae replies in a dismissive tone, "Anyway you were not completely mistaken for thinking there was a story behind the sentiment, but it was not a personal experience."

Poll straightens his back when Eujae sends him a weak smile.

"That thing happened to a friend–my and Lia's high school classmate." Eujae pauses and furrows his brows, looking as though he is still not satisfied with his correction. "Well, he was not really that close to us, but..." Eujae clears his throat. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looks at the wall opposite Poll, so he has his face turned away.

As he waits for him to continue the story, Poll mentally notes how Eujae has the habit of putting his hand on his nape when he's feeling awkward. He supposes even someone like Eujae Nigel Castillo has this kind of side in him.

"He is my gir–ex-girlfriend's brother. The sister was my girlfriend at that time, but I don't think this is an important detail." He turns back to Poll and then moves his hand down the edge of the nightstand. "So anyway, to make a long story short, that classmate had the same experience, but when we accompanied him to the police, do you know what we got from them?" Eujae lets out a heavy sigh before answering his own question in a quiet voice, "Ridicules. They told him to man up. That the woman was just probably being fond of him and that he should feel flattered because that only meant someone was interested in him. Those words really rubbed me the wrong way, and until now, it's still baffling to see society's double standard when it comes to this issue. Though I'm not gonna lie, there are times when I wonder if I really am just being sensitive about it."

"It's more like you're naturally protective of people than being sensitive." When Eujae gives him an inquisitive look, Poll quickly adds, "And there's nothing wrong about it! You're just being empathic, and that makes you a lot better than people who are still ignorant about these issues." Suddenly feeling embarrassed about the things he's been blurting out, the male twin decides to change the topic. "Anyway, you mentioned an ex-girlfriend, and it reminds me... I have to apologize for calling you a fuckboy before. I know you're not that kind of guy. I was just extremely angry at that time, and you know, people say things that they don't even mean when they're mad. I don't think you're... that. I'm sorry."

Eujae hums and nods. He doesn't immediately say anything. For a couple of seconds, he only stares at the space, looking like he's contemplating. He leans away from the nightstand and sits with Poll on the bed. With a curious expression, he asks, "Then how about the other names you called me?"

"You used to call me asshole too," Poll reasons.

Eujae raises a brow while the corner of his mouth quirks into an amused smirk. "It was not like I called you an asshole every time I opened my mouth to rebut you. I only did it whenever you made me reach the end of my patience." He pauses as a thoughtful expression comes over his face. "Ah, but I guess I often ran out of patience with you, so I might have called you that a lot. Still, the number of times I said the word to you pales in comparison to the number of times you called me names. Won't you agree, Apollo?"

"You also called me immature and childish a lot. And why are you still calling me Apollo?"

Still looking entertained, Eujae retorts, "But it's true that you often act like a spoiled little child. And Apollo is your name so, of course, I'll call you that. Or what? Would you rather I call you small angry bean then?"

Poll glares, feeling the urge to hurl the pillow at Eujae's face to wipe off his annoying grin.

This is infuriating. Poll refuses to be one-upped in another argument, but Eujae is too much of a wisecracker for his own good. The male twin wants to know how the guy can have a sassy comeback at everything he says.

This kind of argument somehow reminds Poll of something. Of someone.

He pauses when remembers a certain online friend.

He always thought that Eujae and Gaele were completely different from each other, but now that he is having a proper conversation—if this can even be called a proper conversation as it's more like banter—with Eujae, it comes to Poll that this guy and Gaele are similar as far as being smart ass goes.

"Anyway, you indeed made me fly off the handle at that time," Eujae says, grabbing Poll's attention again, "I haven't even gone beyond kissing with anyone, so to be called that... I guess I was totally stunned."

"I told you I'm sorry." Poll wants to remind Eujae that he did something terrible to him too and brings up the fact that he stole his first kiss, but quickly decides against it, knowing that the incident is more embarrassing to him than to Eujae. "And I didn't have to know how far you've gone into your relationships with other people," he mumbles against the pillow that he's hugging.

Eujae shrugs. "That's only to make it clearer that I'm not the type." A mischievous glint suddenly flashes in his eyes, as he drones, "Just so you know, you're the first and only person I've ever had on my bed."

He pauses to let the statement sink in.

Poll stares dumbly as he tries to process the words and figure out the sly look that Eujae is giving him. As it hits him at last, he reverts to a blushing and sputtering mess. "Y-you didn't have to put it that way!"

This time, the pillow in his arms does fly into Eujae's face, but because he is not satisfied with just hurling it at him, Poll scrambles on the bed to pick up the thing again and starts whacking Eujae with it. "Dirty-minded pervert! Stupid! You... You... Idiot! Pervert!"

"Hey!" Eujae lets out a hearty laugh as he puts his arms up in front to shield himself from Poll's fluffy weapon. "You're the one who can't get his mind out of the gutter here! I just literally meant that you slept on my bed. I don't even know what kind of dirty thing you're imagining with that statement."

Ignoring the reasoning, Poll tackles Eujae while he keeps hitting him with a pillow. However, his charges don't do anything to stop the other man from laughing at him.

At some point, Poll ends up sitting astride Eujae's stomach while the man is lying with his back on the bed. Without realizing the strange position they are in, Poll ceases his attacks as he finds himself entranced by the view beneath him.

It's a pretty sight. Even with his tousled hair as he lies on the bed—especially with it—Eujae is a pretty sight. And his physical appearance is not the only thing that Poll finds beautiful at the moment. The baritone of his voice, as he expresses his glee with uninhibited chuckles, sounds pleasant. The guy may not have a flair for singing, but his laughter is like music to the ears.

Eujae continues laughing for some time, before staring up at Poll as he must have finally noticed that his roommate has become quiet. Eyes still on each other, his laughter gradually dies down, only to be replaced by a soft smile.

And for that short moment, for that one sparkling second, Poll is convinced that he's looking at the stars in Eujae's exquisite eyes.

Spellbound, Poll keeps gaping at Eujae for another couple of seconds until he realizes something.

"You're not wearing your contacts," he blurts out, the comment sounding more like a question than a statement.

Brown and blue eyes flutter as Eujae answers, "I removed it when I went to the washroom a couple of minutes ago. I only put it on when it started getting dark though. Didn't you notice? I hadn't had any eyewear on for the whole day."

There is no way he is ever going to tell him that he never noticed because his gaze kept straying to his body instead of staying on his face. He can only hope that Eujae wasn't able to properly see the way he stared at him, considering he wasn't wearing his contact lenses this afternoon.

Poll shakes his head. It is only to try to get rid of that certain image from his mind, but it seems like Eujae interprets it as the male twin answering a negative.

Trying to act normal, Poll asks, "Then how come you always knew it was me every time you approached me?"

Eujae chuckles. "I have myopia, Apollo, not prosopagnosia."

"I don't speak complicated terms."

"I mean, I'm nearsighted, not like I have face blindness. I can recognize people's faces just fine when I'm near them, though I have to admit I often have difficulty making out the subtlest expressions," Eujae explains. He looks up at Poll for a while before his mouth forms into a sly smile once again. "Anyway, just look who kept calling me a pervert but is now comfortably straddling me. I have to give it to you for having the guts to push me down, Apollo."

Only then does Poll become aware of their position. As a defense mechanism, his first instinct is to resume his pillow attacks, but before he can do anything, Eujae grabs his wrists, pulling him down to him. Poll falls face-first on Eujae's chest. The latter then takes advantage of the slip and puts an arm around the smaller man's waist to roll them over and switch places.

Eujae pins Poll's wrists down to the bed while his knees are on either side of the male twin's hips.

"W-what are you d-doing?!" Poll splutters, his face burning, as he tries to struggle against Eujae's hold. "Let me go!"

"So you can start hitting me again?" Eujae lifts a challenging brow. "No can do, Apollo. I've indulged you enough earlier. I think it's time for payback."

Poll's heart beats like crazy as he watches Eujae slowly lean his face down while looking him intently in the eyes. He parts his mouth to tell him off, but he discovers that he can't get a word out because of nervousness, seeing him get near.

Unable to do anything, Poll shuts his eyes tightly and just waits for what is about to come.

And then, it happens.

Poll's whole body tingles as he hears Eujae whisper so close to his ear, "See? This is what I meant when I said I have a hard time detecting the tiniest hint of people's expressions when I'm not wearing my contacts or glasses. I have to be this close to see that you're blushing."

Poll snaps his eyes open, just in time to see Eujae pulling away.

What in the world was that? And what in the name of all gods did he think Eujae was going to do?

"So what got you so red, huh? What are you thinking again with that dirty little mind of yours?" Eujae echoes Poll's thoughts. He pinches the male twin's cheek before getting off and lying beside him on the bed. Sounding spent, he mutters, "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep, Apollo."

Dumbfounded, Poll keeps lying still on the bed, his heartbeat not slowing down a bit. He gawks at the ceiling while he tries to comprehend what happened in that short period. Once he realizes that Eujae has successfully made fun of him again, Poll flares up.

To hide his irritation and embarrassment, he grabs the blanket and wraps it around him before rolling to his side to turn away from Eujae.

Even with the covering, he senses soft movements behind him and then hears Eujae say, "Hey, don't hog the blanket. Come out there."

Sulkily, he sasses, "Shut up. Go away!"

"This little angry bean..." Eujae drawls, "I can't do that, can I? This is my room too. And I'm afraid you'll cry again if I go away."

Poll scowls and groans but chooses not to respond, knowing Eujae is trying to tease him again. He is not going to let him get the better of him this time.

Curling inside his blanket cocoon, Poll begins to feel sleepy. Instead of counting sheep, it is insulting Eujae in his mind that makes him drift off soon.

Annoying Eujae.

Idiot Eujae.

Stupid, stupid Eujae.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AN: Kind of a delayed update, but this is probably the longest chapter I've written so far. These two boys got so engrossed with flirting with each other and they didn't notice that the chapter had kept on extending. 😔 Thank you for patiently waiting.