*Ami*
Amelia was watching Zac through the door. It was ajar, he was sitting up in bed, the bed raised to support him, he was gazing into nothingness, his right eye squints a bit outwards.

She sighes, she just wants to snuggle up to him, kiss him, hear his soft laughter, see that special smile that always brightened her entire day, but he was never smiling or laughing these days and he wouldn't let her touch him.

The doctor had promised to come talk to him, he had been expecting that there was something wrong and what she told him just confirmed that, he was almost sure it was a serious depression.

She had thought that it had to be fixable, but the doctor had told her, that first of all they could only threat him if he wanted to get better, they couldn't force him and it could be caused by neurological damage, that would have him on medicine for the rest of his life to keep it down.

She opened the door and walked inside, he didn't react at all. "Hi sweetie, how are you doing ?"

"How do you think I am doing ? Just sitting here marvelling about how perfect my life is". He looked up at her, his eyes indifferent almost empty.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for his hand, but he moved it away and she sighed. "Zac please don't say things like that, you make me so nervous".

"No reason to spend energy worrying about me, I am not worth it". He looked out the window, and she felt everything in him pull away from her, both physical and emotionally.

It hurt so much that he rejected her like that, even though she knew it was only because he felt so bad, she couldn't stop herself from feeling the pain. "Zac please look at me, talk to me, do something".

"What Ami ? To be honest I feel like I have talked enough for today. Tom was here, but I guess you know that ?" There was no accusation in his voice, it was plainly just a information.

She nodded slowly. "He is very worried about you as well baby, I .. I talked to the doctor, he is coming to talk to you soon, it is probably a depression you got".

"Oh yes of course, because not only am I physically broken, I am also crazy right ? Have you considered that things just seems less important when you can't feel anything ?" His hands was balled up.

She reached out, gently caressing his cheek, his beard was getting long and thick, the look in his eyes when she touched him, made her pull her hand away like he had swatted it of.

She had tears in her eyes. "You are not crazy, having a depression is perfectly normal in your situation, maybe if you did the exercises, if you saw progress, maybe you would feel better".

"Just get it for fucks sake, it won't get better, it never will, I am worthless". He snapped at her, but his voice was gushing pain, and it hurt her.

She got up, she wasn't used to hear him raise his voice like that or snap at her. "Zac if you just tried ? Did something ? And even if it doesn't help, it doesn't matter, I still love you the same".

"Can't you just leave me alone, go back to Tom, he is much better for you anyway". He turned his back to her with a bit of difficulty.

Amelia halfway ran out the room, tears streaking her face, she didn't know what to do.

*Zac*
He was staring into the wall, he had made her upset again, he pulled the pillow over his head, burying his face in it.

He wished they had let him die, there was no meaning in living like this, without her and he couldn't offer her anything, couldn't expect her to live with the man he had become.

He couldn't stand that he couldn't feel her touches, it was like emotional torture every time she touched him, the only thing he wanted was to feel her soft caresses, but he never would again.

She deserved a man who could take care of her in every way, who could give her all the love in the world, also the physical part and that he couldn't.

The paralysis combined with the inability to feel, well it made him not function sexually and the doctor could not guarantee anything. Like with everything else it depended on how the brain recovered, what it kind of rebooted and where it rewiree.

He couldn't and wouldn't expect her to live with it, even though he knew she would say it didn't matter, but he knew it would with time.

He couldn't stand that she stayed with him, just be because she made a promise, she was to sweet and nice to leave him when he was broken, but it was for the best and he just tried to make her see.

Actually he had told Tom to go on and make a move, he wouldn't blame any of them.
He wasn't stupid or blind, he knew that his best friend had a bit to keen an eye for Amelia and he had had it for some time, he was just to much of a gentleman and to good a friend to act on it.

But he actually hoped Tom would act on it, because he knew Tom would be good to her, he could make her happy and it would hurt so much to have to leave her behind