Presley

I was in pain, emotionally. But I didn't let myself cry. I was angry, even more than I was sad. Unfortunately, I let myself be angry. Sitting there for five minutes after Magnolia walked away, I slammed my hands into the steering wheel. Once they were throbbing, I leaned my head down and screamed. This was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to give up so easily, because she was afraid. I should have been able to talk her down, from that cliff she was standing on the edge of. But I froze up, and I let her leave.

   I don't remember driving home. I have no memory of getting out of the car and going inside, or walking through the house to go upstairs. It was sometime after 10P.M. now and stomped down the hallway to my bedroom, then slammed the door closed. I remember punching the door. I remember the look on my mom's face when she slowly opened it, a few minutes later. She was so worried and I just felt rage.

   "Pres?" she asked, quietly.

   My back was to her, laying down on my bed, facing the wall. I knew she was there. I just didn't want to talk.

   "What happened, honey?" she called out, thinking I was actually going to talk to her.

   I kept my mouth closed, breathing heavily through my nose. If I said a word, I would end up exploding. I knew I'd say things I didn't mean. I knew what was waiting to come out, so I just stayed quiet. My mom didn't deserve to be screamed at, and I knew that. She would have to wait until tomorrow.

   "Okay, I'm just down the hall in my room, if you want to talk," she finished, and then quietly closed my door again.

   Flipping over quickly, I stared at the dent my fist had left in the door. I knew my dad would not be happy to see that. I was never a violent person. Generally, I could laugh things off or manage myself pretty well. Even when I was sick, and angry and sad, I didn't lash out that much. Now, I felt completely out of control.

   An hour later, I had only calmed down a bit. I was exhausted from feeling so angry and decided to send her one text before I fell asleep.

   Mag, come on. Just let me now you're okay.

   But the text went undelivered, so I knew her phone was off. Had she turned it off, to ignore me? Or had her parents taken it away from her? I was hoping for the latter, when I laid down again. It took me an hour to fall asleep, even though it was all I wanted. I couldn't stop thinking about what was going on at Magnolia's house. She needed me more than ever and I wasn't there. She was pushing me away.

The entire next day went by and I didn't hear from her. All my texts got lost in the abyss. I wished I had Yasmin's number. I wished none of this happened at all. I played music and I wrote an entire song about my heart being ripped up and taken by a girl who was in her own prison while I was stuck in mine. I ignored my mom's check ins, and Jade's, an hour later.

   Finally, well after dinner time, my dad tossed my bedroom door open. He'd be gone all day at work and my mom must have filled him in as soon as he got home. He was still wearing that orange collared shirt that said Davidson's Hardware. His name tag was pinned on. I just stared at his name and then, when our eyes met, I broke down. That was it. All I needed to let it all out was my dad standing in my doorway, looking like he felt sorry for me.

   "Presley," he said, walking over to me.

   I sat up and let him hold me, like when I was a kid with a scraped knee. He was such a good dad. He was caring while also being strong. "Pres, try to calm down."

   I was sobbing like the day we found out the tumor was cancerous. That day was always fresh in my mind, because I always wondered "why me?" That was how I felt now. Broken. As if nothing would be the same again. My dad was sort of looked at me like I was crazy, but then he smiled. I took in a deep breath and wiped my face, willing my tears to stop.

   "You okay?" he asked, then waiting til I nodded. "Tell me about it?"

   "My girlfriend... Dad... she's so amazing. She's sweet and quiet she just really cares about me..."

   "That doesn't sound so bad," he smiled, knowing there was more.

   "So, her parents are horrible. Over protective and don't let her do anything unless it relates to school or college prep." I could finally breath properly. "I took her to my homecoming dance. She lied to her mom about where she was, and she got away with it. We had such a good time, and then last night... she asked me to go with her to her friend's boyfriend's house. It was so fun, just hanging out, we played video games... and..."

   "Okay." He nodded, listening.

   "Her mom called her and freaked out because she lied about where she was... again. But, honestly, how am I supposed to get to see her? She has to lie, isn't that crazy? So I took her home last night but she... I don't know. She just got out of my car after saying she couldn't do it anymore. She hasn't texted me back all day."

   The realization hit me once again as I said the words out loud. Had she actually broken up with me? Was that all I would get from her?

   "That sounds hard, Presley." My dad was trying to say the right thing, I could tell. "It sounds like you really like her. I know you've never gotten a change to do this dating thing... and then you end up with a girl who's not allowed to date."

   "Dad. I know. Isn't that messed up?" I asked.

   He let out a laugh. "Maybe give her a bit of space? I bet she'll come around."

   "I can't stop thinking that I lost her already."

   He patted my back and stood up. I looked up at him and sighed.  "You care a lot, Pres. That's not a bad thing. Any girl would be lucky to have you in her life."

   "I don't want any girl," I said, without thinking.

   He smiled again and nodded. "Let us know if you need anything okay?"

   But I just needed Magnolia, so my parents couldn't help me.

I didn't sleep that night. I forced down some toast before shuffling back at up to my room, then took a shower and laid in my bed for hours. It was 2A.M. when I finally shoved my head phones in and listened to music, hoping to sleep. I saw the sun come up, out my window. My body was tired but I just couldn't turn off my brain.

   When my phone rang the next afternoon, I almost thought I was imagining it. I was staring at my laptop, attempting to watch a movie, to keep my mind occupied. My bedroom window was open and fall air was blowing in, and could smell my mom baking something downstairs. But then I heard the buzzing of my phone. I saw the screen light up. I didn't recognize the number, which threw me off.

   "Hello?" I never answered calls from numbers I didn't know, so my voice was shaky.

   "Presley?"

   It wasn't Magnolia, and my heart dropped.

   "Yes?"

   "Oh, hey. It's Yasmin."

   Her best friend was calling me?

   "Hi," I said, but didn't realize what was happening.

   "Presley, I practically had to receive Morris Code to get your number, from Lia. I couldn't interpret what she wanted me to say to you, so..." She was going on and on and I just wanted her to tell me that Magnolia was okay.

   "How is she?"

   "Oh, not great. I mean, I'm not even allowed to see her yet. But of course, school is tomorrow. I think she wanted me to call you to say that she's sorry, and that she doesn't have her phone right now."

   "Okay. Thanks," I spat out, then sighed. "She was so upset when she got out of my car. I've been so worried-"

   "Her mother was on a rampage. Lia's never gone out without permission, and that just doesn't happen. I think she's just trying to do damage control right now, but when she gets her phone back... she'll call you," Yasmin went on. I could tell she was downplaying it a bit and I was grateful to her for that.

   "Okay, but.. what does that mean?" I wanted to know.

   "I don't know, this is new for her. For.. all of us."

   I knew what Yasmin meant. Magnolia had never done this before. I had never done this before, especially with a girl who wasn't allowed to see me. And it was new for Yasmin, as her best friend had never gotten to experience this before.

   "So, I just wait?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

   "You just wait. You'll wait, right?" She sounded so hopeful.

   "Of course," I finished. "Thanks for calling."

   "You're welcome," Yasmin said, then she was gone.

   I was able to sleep, almost as soon as I'd put my phone down and my laptop away. I slept until my mom was knocking on the door a bit after 6P.M. 

    God, I had needed that sleep.

   "Presley, can we talk?' she asked, pushing the door open.

   I felt a bit better now, but I wasn't in the mood to talk. At all.

   "I'm not really in the mood," I said, not looking at her.

   She knew me so well. She knew there was something wrong, even if my dad hadn't told her - which I was sure he had. Now she sighed, crossing the room to get closer to me.

   "I'm sorry this happened," she went on, as if I'd invited her in. "But I still have a good feeling about it. I know it feels impossible right now-"

   "You don't know," I snapped, then squeezed my hands together in my lap, pushing up off my bed. "You don't know how this feels."

   "I don't, you're right. But I want you to know that I'm here, to talk. Don't shut yourself in here, okay?" She was just trying to help, I knew that. But I didn't feel like dealing with her.

   "I just want to be alone, okay?" I asked, trying not to sound like a complete jerk. My heart felt like it would never be repaired, so I wasn't thinking straight.

   She sighed, then nodded. "Okay. But please come down to eat, soon? I made chicken noodle soup, and there's some garlic bread."

   That sounded amazing, so I nodded, but didn't say another word. Watching her go, I knew I was hurting her. But for whatever reason I just didn't care.