While Mum and Dad went along to see them off, I stood in my place, awaiting their return. Sorta unsure of my feelings; kinda numb I guess. Before I could snap out of it, Mum and Dad came back into the room and became silent. I watched them as they glared at me. Sensing my retreat, they began.

"What was the meaning of that? Would you mind explaining?" Dad seethed, his eyes blazing coals. I stopped myself from taking the step which I had almost taken and let go of the big dress which I was holding with my both hands; hoping to not trip over it in my 6 inches heel. True, Rayyan stood taller than me at 6 feet, even after all this but who said it was a competition?

"Just-- just look at her-!! She doesn't even care to reply--!!" Dad screamed at Mom, helping me wake up from my daydream. I realised then that I had been staring at the floor this whole time. But won't this take long? I wanna sit down. I feel tired already. This dress is so heavy and my head hurts with the dupatta. Why did I go to the parlour to get ready? Maybe, something to do with the fact that it was my nikkah—

"—you want?!!" I snapped out of it as Dad's voice clashed against my ears. I looked up and stared at him. What do I want?

"—what do you care." I whispered in a small voice to myself and turned my gaze back to the marble floor. This is stupid.

"What—what—did you say??" Dad asked in a surprised tone. I looked up in turn and gave him a long hard look.

Their faces were devoid of the happiness from before and it was replaced with anger, sadness and ...hurt?

"Do you enjoy our humiliation?" It was Mom who made the remark icily. I averted my gaze in shame.

What was I thinking? How could I ever make them understand? No, it was all pointless.

I wanted to complain to them about their neglect. I wished for them to pamper me and make apologies for their mistakes. Instead, I kept my head down as I crossed the room and left.

——————————

I checked the clock while grabbing my bag. It was past 10 already. Even though my shift ends at 3, I decided to do extra hours today. All in futile attempts to avoid going home.

I was stepping down the stairs when I missed a call from him. Hmm? It rang for less than 2 seconds. When he didn't call again, I rang him for no good reason.

"Hello?" His deep voice sounded on the other end. I lost mine for a moment there.

"Hi." I returned politely.

"What's up?" He questioned nonchalantly and my brows knitted in annoyance.

"You..called?" I asked, feeling unsure now.

"Oh.. yeah." His answer was short. I was actually speechless at this.

"So..? You needed something...?" By now, I was starting to feel dumb.

".....no.." There was a pause. I licked my dry lips and cleared my throat before saying the next sentence.

"So, I am just gonna assume you are not busy right now. Come, pick me up."

——————————

"So..do you not have any friends?" He broke the silence with his question. I spared him a sideway glance and resumed eating my chocolate icecream which he had bought for me. He returned to slight swinging as if he hadn't said anything. I suddenly became more aware of the crunching noise his feet made; glaring at his feet, then at him.

He noticed my stare and I blinked away.

"Since you've asked, let me explain it to you." I began, coming to a complete halt as I clutched at the swing with my both hands and turned to him; cup in my lap now.

"You see, I have got tons of friends—" At this he made a mock impressed expression but I continued nevertheless.

"—and very good ones, mind you. I choose my people very carefully and they are all very respectable." I paused in self appraisal to catch an amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he turned away from me. Not getting discouraged by him, I decided to go on.

"And for—" but he just had to cut me off, didn't he.

"Yeah? And yet, you called me here this late at night, to have girly chit chat when let alone the fact that you didn't get to choose me but had me even forced upon you. What say about that?" His tone was lazy and he had that--that half sly grin on his face and God, how handsome does his face look, bathed in the moonlight.

Hopefully my face didn't display my inner evil thoughts and he took my silence as being stunned. When he looked away unflattered, I grabbed the opportunity and continued.

"That-is a separate matter entirely and no, I didn't call you here for girly chit chat. I have something very important that I had to discuss with you, since you are leaving tomorrow. Speaking of which, as I was saying--" I quickly added, changing the subject. It was true that I had called him here for a reason, but if I told him now; then he would leave and I would prefer company right now.

"—wait, what was I saying again?" I searched his face and he cocked his brow, slowly shaking his head with remnants of smile.

"You wanted to discuss—" He proposed helpfully and I cut him off.

"Not that. Ah, yes! Friends. I have many friends—but—" My face fell, as
I felt overcome by my emotions. I saw his feet come to a halt.

"—but..you see...they all went to their homes, after work...and I stayed back till late because...I didn't want to go home." I stopped but didn't look up. When moments passed and he didn't say anything, I took it as a cue to continue.

"—I don't want to go back. After you guys left, yesterday, I sorta had a fight—argument, with them." I spoke in broken sentences but he didn't interrupt and I didn't have the courage to look up.

"Mum, Dad...they..they don't like me much...and.." At this point my eyes were filling with tears, so I started swinging back and forth slightly. I am not sure why I was telling him all this. He was practically a stranger and I am sure, uninterested in my family drama. On top of that, a person, whom I hated with all my might for various reasons. Still, I went on. I must be out of my mind. That, or extremely desperate.

"I really...have tried to be how they want me to be...but they never seem satisfied....even though...even though,  they hurt me too...but I don't like them less for that...then why...I.."my voice broke down as my tears fell down my cheeks.

"..maybe...I am not their real kid...it would make sense then..." I turned to him half smiling and soon realized my mistake. Thankfully, it was dark and I couldn't make out his expressions.

Moments passed as we stayed in silence. When he didn't say anything at all, I felt my chest tighten and tears threaten to escape. I stood up to leave and he followed my lead. When I turned to face him, I am not sure what I expected, but not the sadness etched on his face. Maybe, that's why I started sobbing. Or maybe not.

But I stared at him as I cried on and that's when he engulfed me in his arms. A gasp escaped my lips from the shock but before I could do anything, he relaxed and buried his face in the nook of my neck.

"Rayy--" He tightened his hold as he cut me off. That's twice now.

"According to research, hugging lowers your blood pressure, especially helpful if you're feeling anxious and it lowers your cortisol, the stress hormone. But also—because I know, how you feel." His voice was a whisper as he said this and I found myself giving in moments later. Didn't care if it was against my morals, this was the calmest I had felt in the past month. I thought while placing my hands on his back and clutching at his leather jacket.

'He is so warm.' I thought; finding solace in him from the cold. His thumping heart calmed me and I closed my eyes to rest my face against his chest.

"Your parents—I don't know much but—" At his voice, my eyes snapped open and I turned my gaze up to look up at him. His eyes were warm as they looked down at me. I was still in his hold but he used his free hand to brush away my tears and push a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"I am sure they love you Zaira....in their own way..they love you.." I found myself tearing up at his words and once again, hid my face in his chest. He hesitated for a moment only before returning my hold.

"Let's get you home." He said finally while his hand continued stroking my hair.

-----------------------

'I am going to tell him.' I told myself again, by now losing count of time, I had said this to myself in the past ten minutes.

'It's not that much of a big deal Zaira!' I encouraged myself; stealing a glance at him. His left hand was at the steering wheel while the other rested on his lap. He drove sitting back casually, not once trying to make conversation. While, I sat here embarrassed, his face showed no indication of the recent incident.

"What time was your flight again?" I questioned, recalling that we had to go see him off at the airport. How exaggerated.

"Three." He answered promptly and I began thinking about the excuses that I would need to make to get early leave from work. Anything and everything besides what I should be actually doing.

"Do they always see you off like this?" I asked skittishly, referring to the fact that his and my parents would be seeing him off tomorrow. He shot me a half grin and returned without so much as glancing in my direction.

"I should be thanking you for that." His voice dripped with sarcasm and underneath it was a hint of sadness. I understood and chose to be quiet.

'Look Zaira, all you have got to say is, Rayyan, in regards to this marriage, I am thinking, what I mean to say is that we, I don't think—like, this isn't—Sigh. This is so not working.'

"Ra--" I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it.

"Look--" I gaped at him open mouthed and he cocked his brow at me.

"Yeah?" He asked and I urged him to continue.

"I know this situation wasn't part of the plan—but guess, we will meet again, in 6 months." He remarked in a matter of fact way, without any hint of emotion. I couldn't watch him for another moment and instead sufficed to fixate my gaze on the road in front of me.

Ah--he's the same as he was 12 years back. Cold and indifferent. Maybe, I was mistaking his earlier kindness for something more than it was. Or I was getting soft because I had a crush on him once. But, that was in the past. The truth was as he said; we were not in this because we wanted to.

"Yeah." I agreed with a small smile and he returned with a nod. Even though I married him because I didn't have a choice in the matter but gradually I realised, this couldn't get any better.

I wouldn't have to be in any sort of personal relationship with him, since we both have always hated each other and are only in this out of obligation. But at the same time, I will get to be away from here and start a new life for myself. After I get my license to practice there, I wouldn't need him. So, he could move on with his life and I mine.

And I could finally be free.

"You were saying?" I turned to him and returned with a shake of head.

"It's nothing." Nothing that can't wait another 6 months. I added to myself as he parked outside my house.

I had almost walked to the gate, when he called out.

"Zaira." I turned around to find him reaching across my seat.

"Take care." He added simply before moving back to his seat. I watched him for another moment before going in, without waiting to see him leave.

---------------

The next day, we found out that his flight was at 3 in the morning and not noon.

So, he knew. From the very start, he was going to leave without telling anyone. Yet, he came to see me.

6 months turned to 7 and seven turned to 8.  Even though he never once contacted me, my mind was always filled with his thoughts and that night. Until, I began to realise that he was not coming back.

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