I sniffed through tears while watching the screen blink with his contact information. When I called him a few minutes after that, he didn't pick up.

I can't believe it. Every passing minute of the last week, I've only had thoughts filled with nothing but him.

What would Rayyan be doing, right now? Is he thinking about me? No, he might be too busy for that. I wonder, what would Rayyan think about this? Will he find it funny? Maybe he'll enjoy this. Maybe he'll laugh at this scene. If he saw me skipping meals, he might scold me in that adorable way which he believes makes him look angry. Is he eating properly? Did he sleep or work throughout the night, again? When would he call me? Did he read my messages? Why is he taking so long to reply? I hope he calls me again, soon. I don't want to miss his call again. I wish he were here right now and I could sleep with his arms wrapped around me.

But nothing. All my thoughts, meant nothing to him. My apetite was gone—Nothing felt nice anymore, almost like all the colours had suddenly vanished from this world. Everything seemed so bleak and pointless. I looked up and saw him everywhere, in everything. Everyday, I was counting down days, until I could see him again.

I didn't wish to feel this way. I hated my sisters whenever they rambled about their husbands. I used to make fun of those love sick girls. I vowed to never be like them. Yet—yet—I missed him so much that I felt like my heart will break soon if I didn't see him. I only wanted Rayyan. Nothing else felt good. I didn't know how to stop this painful feeling in my heart. But Rayyan cared nothing about it. He was only breaking my heart with his stupid jealousy.

I mean, how could I see anyone but him. When no one; nothing else existed in my eyes, my mind and my heart except him.

I shouldn't have called him. If I were the same Zaira, I would never have done it. It was his mistake. He had made a big deal out of nothing. Yet, right now, I didn't care about anything. Right or wrong, pride or whatever—nothing felt important anymore. I just wanted to hear his voice. Hug him and stay in his safe embrace.

'He can't stay mad at me for long. I know he'll call me soon. He will understand and apologise. I know.'

Or so I wished.

———————————————-

It'd been 3 days, since that night and the only messages I got from him were inquiries about my health and my meals. I wanted to scream at him and tell him that because of him I can't eat anything and I cry myself to sleep every night. But all he cared about was giving me a cold shoulder. I wanted to call him out for lying about loving me because all I felt right now was undeserving hatred from him.

However, instead of all this; I say to him, I am doing good. I tell him, the wedding preparations keep me so busy, that I don't get time for anything else.

The first and the last part were a lie, but not like he cared anymore about what I said or felt.

He would end the call with instructions to take care of my health and not over exert myself. Later, he would call Haniya and scold her for making me sick with exhaustion.

'Really, when I see him in 4 days and 13 hours, he is definitely getting a beating. I swear.'

Despite my internal turmoil and lack of energy, I pushed myself all the way to keep up a happy front. Haniya was already feeling very guilty because of Rayyan's idiocy and I didn't want to worry her anymore. This was Haniya's special day and I wouldn't let anyone or anything ruin it. Not even myself.

"You aren't going in?" I looked up from my phone to glance at Harris bhai who had come to sit on the pool chair beside mine. I returned my gaze down to the pina colada in my hand, not trying to make a big deal about him dripping in his trunks, straight out of the pool.

"Nah. I am good. Thanks." I returned with a small smile and pulled up my legs underneath me. Today was something like a swim pool party event in the backyard of the Haveli and even though I wished to be left alone with nothing but my thoughts of Rayyan, it would've been rude and inappropriate. So, unwillingly I had come here. Just a few minutes ago, I had sent a snap of my drink to him who had checked it, yet didn't bother to reply.

"Zaira. I know it might be a bit late and uncalled for me to say this now—" He began in a small voice after a long while of silence. I looked up to see him fumbling with the towel draped around his neck and looking at anything but me. Quirking an eyebrow, I waited for him to continue.

"I am sorry. I was a douche, I know. What I did to you—it wasn't cool. I am sorry, really. You are a good kid. It's just I only ever saw you the same as Haniya. Actually, scratch that. I'll take you over Haniya, any day." He remarked the last part with a roll of eyes and a shake of head; still not meeting my eyes. I felt myself smiling at his words.

"It's alright, Harris bhai. No harm done." I returned with a soft smile and watched him meet my eyes with a glimmer of surprise which immediately changed into relief. Turning away with a small smile, he muttered to himself once again.

"See, what I mean? Anyday—" He laughed as if amused by his own words and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

However, our laughter was cut short by an unexpected voice coming from behind me.

"You seem to be having fun." At his voice, I felt my heart dropping. For a moment, I couldn't comprehend what just happened. My heart was beating so loudly in my chest and I felt a lump forming in my throat making it difficult for me to breathe. Out of nowhere, tears began to sting the corner of my eyes and my lips quivered with suppressed sobs. Yet, I didn't dare turn to see him. I felt like every cell in my body had stopped functioning and I might just explode from this unexpected happiness.

"Rayyan. You got in early." My gaze found Harris bhai who had got up with his eyes fixated behind me.

"What? You seem disappointed. Did I interrupt something?" At Rayyan's voice, the tears began to fall down from my eyes. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it even if he was standing here and saying it with his own mouth. Yet, I couldn't just sit there anymore. It wasn't about pride anymore. I had relinquished all rights to that when I had succumbed to his love.

It wasn't pride. I loved him far too much for anything like that. It's just that if I heard him say anything worse than this, then it might make it impossible for me to ever look at him without doubting his love.

So, I did what I thought to be the best thing in that moment. I got up and without turning back, I walked away from him. I thought, he would come after me. Maybe even run towards me. But he didn't. He never came after me.

————————————

It had been close to two hours when I heard him come in. I was sitting on the bed with my head tucked between my knees and arms wrapped around them. The sound of door opening made me look up at him through dried tears.

For a second, he froze at the door. His eyes flashing with a hint of guilt which vanished almost as quickly as it came.

He coldly averted his gaze and began to get clothes out of his luggage which had come long before him. All the while, my gaze remained fixated on him but without so much as sparing a glance in my direction, he went into the washroom with a change of clothes in his hands.

With every passing second, I felt that I was in a dream. This nightmare couldn't be my reality. I didn't want to believe it. But it was and no amount of crying was going to change that.

"Rayyan—" I impatiently got up and walked over to him as soon as he came out. His eyes barely met mine in the mirror but he didn't acknowledge my presence.

"Wha—wh—" The words froze over my lips. I didn't even know what I wished to know anymore. The reason for hate in his eyes for me? Or him being suspicious of something I had no idea of?

"Why—? What—did I do—" Even without meaning to my voice cracked with tears that had begin to shed from my eyes. His gaze that met mine was cold and unforgiving. The hazel green orbs that used to glow with love and warmth once, took only a week to turn loveless and bitter.

"Why do you need to ask me that?" His piercing voice clashing my ears was slashing my heart like a knife. Like a movie, all the memories of the past few months began to run through the screens of my mind.

No. I can't. He loves me. I love him. This misunderstanding isn't enough to break us.

"Rayyan—please—" My voice had now turned to pleading. His cold gaze drifted to my hand that had reached out to clutch his in my grasp, before falling onto my teary eyes.

"What? Is there something you need to tell me?" His eyes burned with anger and if I didn't blink away the tears pooling in my eyes, I would have been able to hold his gaze longer.

"I don't know what you think happened but I would never—" My lips quivered with sobs and turning down my gaze, I slowly let go of his hand.

"Then tell me—" He exclaimed through clenched teeth before taking hold of my arms. Shaking me, he made me look up at him. His eyes were bloodshot, with unshed angry tears. My whole body shuddered with the weight of his gaze but even after opening my mouth, no words came out.

What do you tell someone, who had already branded you as a liar in their hearts? I didn't know—Hence, I couldn't utter a single word in my defence.

The corners of his lips rose in a snicker ever so slightly, before he pulled away from me with a jerk.

"Thought so." He remarked with a smirk but there was no sign of amusement anywhere on his face as he left the room, banging the door after him.

I watched the now shut door with a feeling of doom. The tears which I had tried so hard to suppress were now breaking lose with sobs. I felt like he had just beaten and stomped my heart under his feet. I thought I will never be able to stop crying, my sobs will never cease until the crushing pain rising in my chest kills me first.

I would never have been able to get up from the floor. My cries would have never come to a halt if the nausea rising in the back of my throat didn't make me run to the washroom.

Even before I could have finished throwing up, I had realised the real reason behind my lack of appetite, my dizzy spells, the nausea and my missed period.

I was pregnant.

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