I distractedly chewed on my lower lip while doing last minute preparation for the anniversary celebration later tonight. Very much lost in thought, I tugged the table cloth at the ends, one by one; never feeling satisfied by the unevenness. I never could have for the life of me thought, that someone could exist in this world who would feel grateful towards Allah for making me a part of their life. For the last few years, I had always only complained to Allah for giving me so many hardships. Every time thinking that Allah blessed everyone with happiness. Whereas for me, Allah had only kept the toughest trials. Never once, did I give thanks to Allah for anything. Always found something to complain about. I didn't have faith like Rayyan. He made so many mistakes and turned to Allah in repentance. Whereas, I didn't ask Allah for forgiveness but only showed anger for the things I didn't get. Yet, here I was, standing safe and loved beyond words; more than I could ever deserve, alongside everything I ever prayed to Allah for. Still, I never once thought of thanking Him.

Could there be a greater gift in this world than someone who gave thanks to Allah for making me a part of his life?

"Zai, darling—I think it's been even for a while now—" I heard his worry laced voice behind me and immediately let go of the candle stand in my hand which fell to the ground with a thunk. Feeling flushed at being caught in such a
dazed state, I turned around slowly to see that he was watching me with a cocked brow and arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the doorway frame.

"Well aren't you a clumsy little dove—" He remarked with a smirk before walking towards me. My breath hitched in my throat as he bent near me to pick up the stand and placing it securely on top of the table. Watching me curiously for a moment only, he engulfed me in his warm embrace. I felt shudders running through me at his touch, but I knew that I was falling in love with the warmth of his touch and the tingles that it gave me.

"Is something bothering you, love?" I heard his soft mumble above my head. I looked up from his chest to his face, realising that he could now read my thoughts so well. Flashing him a small smile, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tighter. A few months back I hated him. Always thought he was a cold and heartless jerk. Although, during that time as well there wasn't a single time, he wasn't there when I was in need of help.

Could he be my knight in shining armour, that I never believed I needed—? I couldn't think further beyond.

"I was thinking—You have never spoken in Urdu with me. Even though, you spoke fairly well last time—" At my out of blue words, I felt him tensing underneath me. Just then, an evil thought gave birth in my mind. Pulling away, I gave him my most puppy dog look.

"Rayyan? Won't you—" Before I could complete, he had pulled away from my hold with a horrified look on his face.

"No—! Most definitely not—! I—I know I don't speak very well and I think you'll definitely make fun—!" I could see the slight pink tint on his cheeks as he looked at anything but me. Barely able to hold in my laughter, I inched closer and gently positioned my hands on either sides of his waist. Slowly sneaking a peek at his flushed face, I watched him doe eyed, taking my lower lip between my teeth.

At my this move, I caught him gulp deeply, before averting his gaze abruptly.

'Wow. Even my usual charms didn't work this time? Guess he really is embarrassed.'

With that thought, I began to pull away with a sigh. Once again, returning to arranging the table, acutely aware of his quiet presence behind me. I was starting to feel bad now. I shouldn't have pushed him for it, even as a joke.

Just then, I felt his hands wrap around my waist. Instantly, I felt a bolt of electricity run through my body, making me feel weak at my knees. Slowly, he moved even closer, so that his chin rested on top of my shoulders and I could feel his warm breath tingling the bare nape of my neck—sending shivers down my spine.

"Mai—mjhe- Zaira—se bohat bohat zeiyada mohaabat hai—aj-kal— haar roz—humesha—humesha bohat piyar hai—"

(I love Zaira, very, very much. Today, tomorrow and every day. Forever and ever, in love with you)

I felt myself inhaling a sharp breath at his words. It wasn't just the sloppy, accented words that moved my cold heart but the fact that he was willing to reveal all his vulnerabilities and imperfections to me, made me feel a sort of heaviness in my heart. It felt too intimate.

'I could never be able to love him this much—no one can—' With quivering lips and tears stinging the corner of my eyes, I turned in his hold. Watching him look at me with an embarrassed pout made me workup a smile and I pulled apart his cheeks. How dare someone be so cute and adorable? He deserves to be punished.

"Oww—I did warn you, you know—!" He complained, sticking out his lower lip while I could only chuckle and envelop him in a hug once again.

———————————

I was sitting on the couch with my legs curled under me, while we all sat together to watch a movie following dinner and cake cutting. I was leaning against Rayyan's chest, with his one hand playing with my hair distractedly while he remained absorbed in his phone for the most part. Unintentionally, I felt a sense of prick throughout the movie. His confession from this morning in the car kept coming back and no matter how much I tried to brush it away, it would come back with full force next moment.

I mean, it doesn't bother me. It shouldn't. I don't even like him that much—and it was in the past—So, of course, I have zero right—

"Honey, you've been frowning and burning holes into the TV for a while now—I mean, the movie might not—" He kept going on with a small teasing grin and I silently stared at him.

'You have no right, Zaira—! And especially with the way he has been treating you—-!' Yet, the words spilled out of my mouth.

"Rayyan—Is—was your girlfriend's name Elizabeth? You know the one, you mentioned, in car—Actually you never said it was just one—how many—?" I kept going on in a flow, very well knowing that I am going to regret this later, severely. More than anything, the fact that this is going to hurt him so much—despite all that he does for me, yet, I'm judging him by—

"What? You are still hung up on that?" He questioned surprised. I couldn't hold his gaze any longer.

"And Elizabeth? No—it was—I actually didn't catch her name, I think?" He continued, unfazed and it was my turn to be surprised. I pushed away from him slowly, gawking him through quivering lips.

"—how then—you mean—?" This wasn't me. I didn't care—I shouldn't—Yet, his words were inflicting pain on my heart. I shouldn't care—I don't care about Rayyan that much, even. So, why would I care about his past—

"What?! Zai—? Come on—" He suddenly got up and clutching my hand in his grasp, he took me upstairs after excusing us from Grampa and Granny; who were almost dozing off, in each other's arms.

"Wait—what are you—if I knew it was going to bother you so much, I would never have had brought it—" He exclaimed after shutting the door behind him and turning to me but seeing me sniffing through tears made him stop his rebuke immediately.

"I am—sorry—I didn't want to—it's just I know so little about you—and then I keep thinking about those rumours that I used to hear and then—" My voice was breaking with tears while I kept rambling on, unable to look up at him.

I feel so ashamed of myself.

"Zaira—what—I don't know what rumours you heard—but I will always tell you the honest truth. I know you don't trust me, yet—but, I—" He returned in a small voice, but I broke him off.

"No—! No, it's—You—I—" My eyes shot up to find him gazing down at me with sadness filled eyes. He didn't even try to take my hand, this time. I knew if I didn't get this out of the way then I would never be able to move on.

"Can you—I want to know everything, please—?" I stepped forward and took his hand in my grasp. He sighed softly before beginning.

"No, it's alright. You've every right to know..............After that last time in Haveli, I felt very traumatised. I felt unjustified anger towards you too, owing to all the guilt." He continued without meeting my gaze.

"It lasted maybe 3 or 4 months tops but in that time I never did drugs or drinking because as lost as I were, I knew what it would do to Nans and Gramps, if they were ever to find out. They both had raised me with great love after my parents death and already with Uncle Zia, I was giving them a hard time—-" I watched him unblinking through this all.

"Even so, I got involved in gangs when I helped out a friend by fighting against another gang—I felt beating people was a great release from all that stress, so I went along with it for a while; whenever I felt like it. Well, until they found out atleast. It happened when the girlfriend or ex of one guy whom I didn't remember beating up had come up to me. She wanted me to tell her ex that we were together. Well, I didn't think too much of it at that time—so, when the dude found out, he thrashed me to a pulp with his other friends. Thank God that Amir had come around—" He was going on but I had stopped listening after that one specific point.

"No. I mean—okay. But I mean the girl you were with—!" I exclaimed impatiently, snatching my hands from his grasp. For a moment he gaped at me astonished.

"This is the only one, Zai—As far as I remember? She wanted to get back at her boyfriend who cheated on her and did all that on purpose—" His frown had deepened while I gawked him stupefied.

"But—but—you said you were involved— Those were your exact words—" I gulped down the lump that was making it hard for me to get a word out.

"Yes and this was enough involvement—? Nans and Gramps found out about everything after I was transferred to the hospital. So, I had to stop—" He returned simply with a tilt of head and I almost killed him.

"You!! YOU IDIOT!! I thought—and—you weren't in a relationship with her, you mean?! Or anyone else?!" I had jumped to clutch at his collar.

"What—No—I most definitely was not—! And I never said that Zaira—" He would have continued, if I didn't start punching his chest with my tiny little fists while calling him an idiot and blockhead continuously. Barely swayed by my punches, in one swift motion he clutched my wrist away from his chest.

"Woman! What's gotten into you! You're more irked by the fact that I haven't done anything than—" I didn't let him finish and pulled away my hand with a jerk.

"I was a sweetheart before—and now suddenly it's Woman?!" I seethed angrily through tears and blazing coals for eyes. Immediately his face fell and he took on an apologetic look.

"No—no, ofcourse not darling—I didn't mean that obviously. I am sorry sweetheart, I love you—" He tried coaxing by closing the distance between us but a sharp glare from me shut him right up.

"I hate you! You hear me?! I absolutely completely, wholeheartedly detest you—!" And after screaming that I closed the distance to him abruptly and pulled him to my face by grabbing at the front of his shirt. Closing my eyes, I crashed my lips onto his—

For a moment, only a moment, he froze under me before his one hand enveloped around my waist and the other found the back of my head, pulling me closer to himself. Until, we had all but become one.