I felt a weird sense of panic, as I sat in the backseat of the car. I still clearly remembered my last day here, 3 years ago. Because of Dad's job we had moved to Gulf and didn't get a chance to return, until this year.

'Do I really want to see him again?' I thought with a sigh, resting my head against the window pane. I knew he would be there. He was supposed to be here every summer break.

Despite all of my brooding, even before I could properly greet everyone, I had went out to look for him. I didn't want to, but when I couldn't seen him in the midst of everyone else, I sneaked out to the one place I hoped to find him.

But as I stood there, clutching at my knees in attempts to catch my breath, I knew that the pangs in my chest were of disappointment.

'What did I run here for? So stupid!' I felt a rush of embarrassment at my own simplicity and just when I had turned to leave, I saw him standing there.

And I forgot to breathe.

He had changed. I thought he was beautiful before, but I didn't think it was possible to get even more. He was the most beautiful man, I had ever laid eyes on.

For a moment, he only stood there watching me with hands stuffed in his hoodie's pocket. Until, he started to close the few yards separating us. Never once, did his eyes leave mine.

And just when he had reached my side, I opened my mouth in anticipation—only for him to walk past me, as if I wasn't even there.

No—he had done it for me to see that my being there or not was all the same to him and his message was duely conveyed.

———————————

For the millionth time, I turned and tossed in my bed. For some reason, sleep seemed to have vanished from my eyes. The reception party had ended hours ago. It really was absolutely perfect in every regard.

I thought I would feel nervous meeting his friends and relatives but I had never been more at ease. They were all, such nice and welcoming people. The whole event, I was led by Yasmeen from one person to another. I had so much fun with Granny & Grampa and others. It wasn't awkward in the least.

Except—with him.

Ahh!! Just the thought of it makes me want to punch myself in the face. Why the hell was I so conscious of him! Even if my eyes met his across the ballroom accidentally, I would turn away as if someone had pressed my face against a furnace. I was so freaking obvious!

Especially during the time of cake cutting! I had actually flinched and tried to not be in close proximity with him. And I had almost died, when he held me close to his chest for the photographs. Of course everyone else noticed it too, but they thought it was so cute, that I was being so shy and embarrassed.

'Ughh! I think I am turning into a pervert. I keep having these disgusting thoughts, as if I have never come in contact with male species before—which is in a way true—but—Rayyan must've noticed it too, right? He must've! And now he must be creeped out!'

'You almost ravished him in sleep, too.' My conscience reared it's head, looking down at me with disdain.

With another groan, I slammed the pillow to my face and pulled it away when my hand wandered to the beautiful necklace adorned in my neck. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I loved it more than anything else in my possession. Even more than the vintage diamond ring for my wedding which was given to my late mother-in-law by Granny, at the time of her engagement.

I was so surprised and embarrassed when Granny told me the story behind the necklace. I was so glad for Rayyan to not be there because she kept laughing at how Rayyan was being so picky about my wedding gift. He kept going on about how it needs to be unique because I had already got everything else. She found it hilarious that Rayyan was being so shy about giving it to me after going through all that trouble.

'Is that why he seemed so distant? Because I didn't want the gift he prepared for me so carefully? I don't get it. Why is he being like this? Why? He only married me because he didn't have any other choice—right? So—why? He doesn't have feelings for me that thing I am sure of, without a doubt—so what—?'

I couldn't think beyond that.

'Ahh! I can't sleep!'

In attempts to ward off my thoughts, I got out of bed and turned on the lights. I went to my cupboard and got out the Album that Yasmeen had given to me as a wedding gift, along with a diamond bracelet.

I took out the album and sat on the cushions nearby the fireplace. I had gone through the album twice already but still smiled while tracing my hands on every picture.

After the party had ended, I sat down with Yasmeen for hot cocoa while Rayyan went to the study to get his work done.

He is such a workaholic. I thought with a roll of eyes, although I loved that about him.

'—loved?' Are you finally losing it Zaira?!' I silently screamed at myself and literally had to shake some sense into that pea brain of mine.

But Yasmeen turned out to be even nicer than I had initially thought. She was really a sweet angel. I couldn't contain my shock when I found out she had a 3 year old son—! She had a baby face, but was older than Rayyan by a year.

However, what shocked me even more was that she had recently got out of an abusive relationship and had been since the start bringing up her son all by herself. I didn't know what to say to her—even after going through so much at such a young age, she was always so positive and kept saying Alhumdulillah. I felt ashamed of myself. Here I was using Rayyan for my own gain and the worst part was that he let me—why? What for? Was he an idiot? If only Rayyan was the jerk, I thought him initially, then maybe I could feel less guilty about it. But even though, I could believe that he wasn't the same person as before and had changed for the better, I still couldn't bring myself to trust him.

——————————————

I didn't realise that I had fell asleep in front of the fireplace. How careless of me. But when I opened my eyes, Rayyan's face was only inches away from mine.

I couldn't blink. I couldn't exhale the breath that I was holding in. The only thing I could do was peer into those gorgeous eyes of his and try not to steer far from them. I could hear my heart thumping loudly in my ears as his eyes wandered across my face, with a million emotions running through them. I felt like my body was lit on fire under his intense gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't do anything except gape at me silently with a fire burning in his eyes .

I felt my heart skip a beat when his eyes moved down from my eyes before sliding back to meet them again. But then I blinked—and the trance was broken. He moved back as if I had slapped him and the album that he was trying to pull from my grasp, fell on the ground with a thud.

His eyes darted to the Album before finding mine again. He opened and closed his mouth several times, before he was able to say what he wanted to.

"Sorry—I didn't want to wake you. I just—I was going to carry you to the bed—" He didn't meet my eyes and I couldn't rip my eyes away from his reddening cheeks.

Before I could grab a hold of my senses and calm my crazily beating heart, he got up and left the room. I watched the now closed door for a long while before dropping my hands in my face with a groan.

————————————

It'd been more than a week, since we got back and everything was finally back to normal—or so I wished!

I hadn't really seen him since the day we got back. Initially, he would leave before I could wake up and not be back until I was in bed. When I tried to wake up early and fix him breakfast for a change, instead of him doing it every time; he gobbled it so quickly as if the Grim Reaper was standing over his head. Also, that was the only time I got to make him breakfast, because after that he would leave before I could wake up. Somehow he was always one step ahead of me and that was starting to piss me off.

He is avoiding me, isn't he? What? Is he still mad that I didn't appreciate his gift at that time? Well—I mean, I didn't know—and how can he expect me to? Why is Rayyan being like this! He is confusing me! Maybe it's because he fears that I might attack him?

Ahh! I don't know! That's it. Whatever it is—today I am going to confront him and get this thing out of the way. This can't go any longer.

'Yeah right. I am so ready to fall asleep any minute—' I thought suppressing a yawn, while poring through my books with my 5th black coffee mug in the past 3 hours.

'God. Is he even planning to return home, tonight? I feel like the bad guy, who is trying to chase him out of his own house. What time is it—12:30am? Who stays at their office till after midnight? Is he—' My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of door opening.

Quickly getting up, I walked to meet his highness, who was clearly not expecting this late night meeting.

"Assalamualaikum." I greeted with a forced wide smile. He frowned at that before returning my greeting and tried to walk past me, but I stopped him by putting my arm out.

"I know you must be very tired. But we need to talk." I began, without wasting a moment. He turned to me with knitted brows, before putting my hand down with a sigh.

"Let's talk tomorrow." He tried to brush past me but I came to stand in front of him.

"Fat chance. I know you are only trying to dodge me." I remarked with raised brows and arms crossed over my chest. He watched me blankly for a moment, before turning away with a sigh. I knew it—This jerk!

"Zaira—" before he could say anything, I jumped closer to his face.

"Look! I am sorry, okay? I didn't know—I mean even if I did, I might not have—" I stumbled over my own words. His face changed into a look of confusion, while I turned away, unable to look at him anymore.

"What I mean to say is, I am sorry—for whatever it is that I did and I—I mean, you should forgive me now. It's been—" I kept rambling when he cut me off.

"What? You're sorry? For what?" A ghost of a smirk appeared on his face and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, as he began to close the distance between us.

"I—" I stammered, backing away unconsciously; unable to look away from the cold, unforgiving look in his eyes. Yet, he didn't stop, until my back was pressed against the back of the couch.

"Zaira. You really know nothing, do you." It wasn't a question. His voice had dropped down to a whisper, as he peered down at my face. I was aware of the tremors running through my body and my shaky gasps.

I felt the hair stand on the back of my neck and gulped instinctively, unable to look away from his dangerous gaze.

And before I could blink, he closed the last of the distance between us and his lips crashed onto mine, in a hungry kiss, knocking all the breath out of me.

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