CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Lucho

"DID YOU enjoy the movie?" tanong sa akin ni Audrey. Nasa kalagitnaan na kami ng daan papuntang Antipolo nang magsabi siya na kailangan naming mag-detour. Hindi na raw niya gusto magpunta ng Antipolo at naisipang ayain ako sa bukas pa na theater. Audrey and I had attended a last full show of a movie we both enjoy. Pareho naming gusto ang gano'n genre kaya nagkasundo kaming dalawa na iyon ang bilhin na ticket. And while walking out, we're still talking about the movie.

"I haven't enjoyed watching movies outside my home,"

Sinungitan niya ako saka naiiling na nagpatuloy lumakad. Sinundan ko siya at pinagmasdan habang hinihintay na kontrahin niya ako. "Rich kid problem sucks."

As expected.

Masyado lang ako abala sa pag-aaral at trabaho kaya kapag naisipan ko na manood, gagamitin ko na lang ang access ko online. Mas comfortable din kapag nasa bahay pero mas masaya pala kapag sa mismong theater at kasama ang taong gusto ko. Hindi boring kasama si Audrey at sa dami ng mga kwento niya, imposible na makaramdam ako noon.

"I didn't start like this, Audrey. I work my ass off to achieve everything I have now."

Tinuruan ako ng mga magulang ko na lahat ng aking gusto ay makukuha ko lamang kapag pinaghirapan. Mas masayang pakiramdam ang hatid ng mga nabili ko dahil pinagtrabaho-an ko iyon. Hindi ako umasa sa mga magulang ko kahit iyon ang plano nila. Being successful is a real dream come true.

"That's why I'm proud of you, Lucho," huminto siya sa paglakad at tumingin sa akin.

I didn't expected that she'll say those words to me. Hindi ako umasa dahil nawalan din naman kami ng komunikasyon. I've been in a crazy relationship that failed eventually because I don't know how to share myself before. Pero iba na ngayon dahil tingin ko handa na ako ibahagi ang sarili ko sa iba.

And my heart chose Audrey...

"You do?" Tanging salita na nasabi ko dahil sa gulat. Umiwas siya nang tingin agad sa akin at nagpatuloy na ulit sa paglalakad. Hinabol ko siya at pinigilan na makalayo sa akin. Tinigilan ko na rin ang pang-aasara para hindi siya lalong mahiya sa akin. I have to establish our connection again. "Let's have a late late dinner now."

"Libre mo?"

"Of course."

Since when did I let her pay?

All I just want to know is my stance at her. Hindi ko alam kung ano nangyari sa date nila ni Zico kanina. She look bothered before we went out of the house. Pinili ko na huwag punahin iyon dahil sumaya naman siya nang hayaan ko siya i-drive ang Audi ko. Mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ni Audrey kaya naman konting suhol ay nakuha na agad ang kanyang loob.

"A food of my choice, okay?"

"Do you have any preference?"

"Do you eat dirty food?" Kumunot ang noo ko agad. "It's not dirty, and I promise you'll enjoy it."

"Okay, whatever it is, make sure that my stomach won't crumble,"

"I do have stomach aches and diarrhea medicine here," she waved a medicine box in front of me. Nalampasan pa niya iyong pinaka-matandang girl's scout ngayon. I forgot that she's one-of-a-kind. That I like someone who has excessive energy when she feels like moving. "Tara na kasi! Huwag ka na maarte diyan."

"Okay. Lead the way now, Ms. Writer,"

"Your wish is my command, Mr. Editor." Tumawa kami at magkapanabay na lumakad paalis sa theater.

SA ISANG bulalohan ako dinala ni Audrey at nag-order kami ng bulalo pares. It's a deadly food for those who have a high blood pressure. Mabuti at wala kami pareho noon pero kailangan pa rin namin maghinay-hinay sa pagkain. Ang dami pa namang serving ang binigay sa amin dahil kakilala ni Audrey ang may-ari. Ibig sabihin lagi siya dito kumakain pero hindi ko na natanong kung may kasama ba o wala.

"Kapag wala akong masulat, papara lang ako ng taxi at magpapahatid dito. Hindi pa kasi sila nakakapasok sa Grab o kahit anong food delivery app," kwento ni Audrey sa akin habang nakain kami.

"Even in the middle of the night?"

Tumango siya saka muling sumubo ng isang punong kutsara bone marrow at kanin. "Even in the middle of the night." Ulit niya sa sinabi ko sa kanya. Napaisip ako bigla. Delikado kapag nag-crave siya sa kalagitnaan ng gabi gaya ngayon. "What? Bakit nakatingin ka lang at hindi nakain?"

"Nothing. I find you pretty when eating,"

"Kapag nakain lang?"

"No. I find you pretty always,"

Sumimangot siya. "You're not a good liar," she said and continued eating.

"Can I explain?"

"No need. I sometimes forget to bathe, but I wash my face daily. I washed my hair every two days to avoid hair fall. You know, everybody hates their drain clogged with hair. Of course, you hate that, which may cause delays."

"Whoah! You do talk unceasingly, Audrey."

"You hate that?"

"No. I love it. I love you." Siniko niya ang braso ko at inutusan na kumain na. Hindi 'man lang niya sinagot ang sinabi ko. "Can I ask question about your date?"

"I'm not going to compare you, but I'm quite disappointed today, so I'll decide when I'm ready."

Ano kaya nangyari? Hindi na ako nagsalita at hinayaan na lang siya kumain ng tahimik. Nag-uusap kami kapag may tanong siya pero mostly tungkol sa trabaho. That's our comfortable topic and I know we'll get there sooner or later. I guess she's not ready now. I will let her decide on her own.

"Let's take out fast food after we eat. We left my daughter at home,"

"Amelié is a daughter to you now? That's cool, and she's waiting for it, you know, to have a father figure that will guide her as she grows up. She has no mother and only have you, Lucho."

"I'm reconsidering it,"

Mahirap pa mag-decide dahil nag-iimbestiga pa ang child protective services. Mananatili akong temporary guardian ng bata hanggang sabihin nila na pwede na ampunin si Amelié.

"Thank you for doing that,"

I never expected Audrey would appreciate the little act of kindness I was pulling off.

"Will you accept her?" I know it's early to ask, but I want to see if I make the bold move of adopting Amelié will be okay with her.

"I haven't decide, but she's cute though. As talkative as me too," she said and drink from her bottle of soft drinks. Pareho nga silang madaldal at hindi na natahimik ang bahay ko simula ng pareho sila patirahin.

"I'm sorry but I have to agree with that, Ms. Writer." Ngumiti siya sa akin at gano'n din ako sa kanya.

"AUDREY!" sigaw ni Amelié nang makababa kami pareho ni Audrey sa sasakyan. Pasado alas tres na ng madaling araw tapos nandito pa siya sa labas. "Where did you two go? I thought you leave me already." Umiiyak na yumakap nang mahigpit si Amelié kay Audrey. Mukhang kanina pa siya naghihintay sa amin at hindi ko maiwasang ma-konsensya. I should've wake her up and let joined us in our road trip.

"You're cold. How long have you been waiting here?" I immediately took off my jacket and handed it to Audrey. Sinuot agad ni Audrey ang jacket ko kay Amelié saka niyakap ito ulit saka inalo. "Stop crying, hm? We're here now, and we will never leave without you again. I'm sorry, sweetie."

Yumukod ako kapantay ni Amelié at sa akin naman siya yumakap. "I'm sorry. I should've woke you up. I'm sorry, hm?"

Kinalong ko na ang bata at sabay-sabay na kaming pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Audrey and I tucked Amelié in bed again, but the kid didn't let us leave her alone. We have a choice but to sleep beside her after washing, brushing our teeth, and changing into sleeping clothes. Amelié is too vulnerable, and I got affected by her cry a while ago. It feels like we're connected, and her sobs tear me.

Hindi ko na siya iiwan ulit lalo na kapag ganito na para bang meron siyang trauma. Amelié's life has been miserable that started when my ex-wife made a series of wrong decision then suddenly died. May her soul rest in peace now. Hindi ko pa obligasyon pero sapat na itong nararamdaman ko na koneksyon namin para ituloy ang plano matapos ng imbestigasyon. I'm going to adopt this kid and be her father for life.

"Are you sleeping now?" tanong na pumukaw sa malalim kong pag-iisip.

Tumingin ako sa pinanggalingan noon at nakita ko si Audrey na nakadungaw sa natutulog na si Amelié. The kid is sleeping between us so we're actually sleeping together unlike the night when she got drunk. "I'm not. I can't sleep even if we're at my house,"

"That's odd, or something is bothering you..."

"You bother me, Audrey." Umayos ako nang higa at humarap sa kanilang dalawa ni Amelié. "Ever since I became honest to myself and feelings, it keeps bothering me." Umangat siya upang tingnan ako nang maigi sa aking mga mata. I did the same and without hesitation, I move closer to her until our faces we're inches away. Tama ba itong gagawin ko? Para siyang ihip ng hangin nang dumating sa buhay ko. Sandali ako nakadama ng kaluwagan sa paghinga at literal na pinaliwanag niya ang aking mundo. If this is love, I'm not scared anymore even though there's still certainties in my mind.

"I'm sorry for stealing your peace of mind. First time ko makakilala ng lalaki na sinasabi na may malakas akong epekto. Sobrang plain ko na tao. Walang nakaka-excite sa akin except when in..." she hestitated to answer but I get it. It's her trauma caused by her ex-boyfriend.

"Do not continue if you are uncomfortable saying it out loud. It would be best if you rested now. Good night, Audrey," I said, then I closed my eyes.

BANDANG hapon na nang magising kaming lahat at punong-puno ng miscall ang cellphone ko na puro galing kay Gerold. He panicked again without any reason as if I lost for a year. Siya ang agad ko tinawagan matapos uminom ng kape at mag-almusal. Nalaman ko na may problema sa printing ng libro na ilalabas sa susunod na buwan. Pagkatapos namin mag-usap ni Gerold, sunod ko tinawagan ang printer ng CPPI para ayusin ang problema.

I'm lucky enough that I hired competent people, and they had a contingency plan to report to me. All my people are talented, and that puts relief on Gerold's side because he doesn't need to waste money on stupid mistakes. And we valued all the employees enough and treated them as workers, not enslaved people. Huminga ako nang malalim matapos ang mga tawag na ginawa ko sa loob ng ilang oras.

"You okay?" tanong na pumukaw sa akin. I answered Audrey silently, and I think it was enough to answer. "I'll be downstairs. I'll help Amelié in baking muffins. I have a charity work tomorrow, and I'll distribute muffins to kids."

"We'll go with you tomorrow," ngumiti si Audrey sa nagpaalam muli na lalabas ngunit hindi pa niya nasasara ang pintuan ng tawagin ko siya. "Audrey, you don't bother me in negative way. I actually like being bother by you."

"Stop being cheesy! I need time to think before I decide, okay?" Tumayo ako at matamang lumapit sa kanya. Sinapo ko ang magkabilang niyang pisngi. "S-sir Lucho..."

"Lucho. Call me just me by my name," masuyong kong hinimas ang pisngi niya. Pinagdikit ko ang noo naming dalawa. I want to kiss her but I have to control myself. "I understand, Ms. Writer," umirap siya sa akin at tuluyan nang lumabas.

Muli akong huminga nang malalim at sinubukan na mag-focus sa trabaho. Late na ako nakapagsimula kaya tingin gano'n din ako matatapos. Audrey can multitask and I think resting her mind so she helped Amelié in baking. Mahilig mag-bake si Amelié ngunit kailangan niya nang katulong sa pag gamit ng oven sa kusina ko. Iyon ang role ni Audrey ngayon at hindi makasunog ang bata.

Nang hindi ako maka-focus, naisipan ko na bumaba at guluhin na rin silang dalawa sa baba.

"Lucho!" Excited na tawag ni Amelié sa akin nang makita ako.

"I thought you're busy?" tanong naman ni Audrey.

"I can't focus. I think I need a breather," simple kong sabi saka kinuha ang isang apron at nakigulo na kanilang dalawa. "Why do you love baking so much, Amelié?"

"It's my mom's favourite hobby back when she was still alive." Her mom - I remember that, and Amelié's mom indeed loved baking. Past namin noon pero madalas siya lang at tiga-tikim lang ako.

"I don't know if you're going to like my recipe, but I'll still try," sabat ni Audrey saka sinimulan na paghalu-haluin ang mga ingredients na hinanda nila ni Amelié kanina bago ako dumating.

"I think I'm going to like it," sabi ko kaya tinukso kami ni Amelié.

Kailangan ko maging totoo sa sinabi ko na bibigyan ko siya ng oras para makapag-isip. Hindi madaling kalaban si Zico pero alam ko na may bagay nakakalamang ako sa kanya. Alam ko naman na mapapansin iyon ni Audrey kahit hindi ko sabihin. My girl has a good sense of acknowledgement even though she failed to know carefully her ex-boyfriend.

But it's all in the past. Hindi ko kailanman ipapadama sa kanya na nagkamali siya kung ako 'man ang piliin niya.

Sana ako nga ang mapili.