Evelyn stood in the steady stream of the shower. The water was so hot her skin was red, yet she still shivered. Everything that happened in the last 48 hrs swirling around her sore head. She hoped maybe if she stayed long enough she would drown herself physically...she already felt like she was emotionally and mentally drowning. At least physically the excruciating pain in her heart would stop.

She watched the dirt, grim, Griever guts, sand and blood run down her body and swirl around the white tiled floor and down the drain. Watching everything swirl around it was like her feelings and thoughts so many different things all mixing together and then draining, leaving her feeling empty. She sunk to her knees and then curled up on the floor of the shower and stayed curled. She wanted to cry, she felt like crying, but nothing came. Like her heart and soul had bleed empty. There was nothing left.

Everytime she closed her eyes she heard the screams of the boys in the Maze hall. She could feel the blood splatter onto her face when she rolled through one of the boys blood and insides. Evelyn could see and hear Gally cry in pain as the spear pierced his chest; when Evelyn closed her eyes she watched the life leave Gally's always intense yet kind eyes. She would see Alby's lifeless haunted eyes, looking at her but not seeing.

And worst of all she relived Chuck's death. She would hear the knife in his chest, the sound of his chocking and gargling of blood in his lungs. She felt his body sag loosing life. When Evelyn closed her eyes she could hear his weak thin voice calling her mom for the last time. When Evelyn closed her eyes, she relived a living hell.

She stayed curled on the shower floor so long there was a knock on her shower stall door.

"Hey...you alright Evy?" Teresa called gently.

No, she thought, no I'm not alright and never will be again. But she pushed herself up to sit, and instead called back quietly "Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks Tessa."

"Sure?"

"Yeah. A few more minutes."

"Okay. I'll be out with the guys. They're getting looked at by some doctors."

Evelyn heard footsteps and then the door closed. Evelyn sat for another moment before she picked herself up and actually used shampoo and soap and cleaned herself up. This Way Station provided razors and soap scrubbies, shampoo and conditioner that smelt like coconut and vanilla, and not just basic clean. It took three full washes to clean her hair.

Stepping out of the shower she pulled on the pajama pants and tank top, they were surprisingly soft and warm. But what she was most thankful for was the clean brand new underwear, socks and sports bra. Evelyn stepped up to the mirror and wiped the steam away. Staring back at her was a girl she recognized, but she had changed.

Sure the Glade had a few Mirrors, but they were quite broken, and so dirty it was hard to see much. She also never really bothered, there was no need when everyone looked just as dirty and sweaty. The boys liked her for her not her looks; well they learned to like her despite her looks.

The big bright green eyes weren't as bright and sparkly as they used to be. Her eyes had lost their innocence, she had seen more than any person should ever see. Her pale skin had a splash of freckles across her cheeks and nose and had a healthy golden glow from being outside for two years.

But we weren't actually outside...it was some kind of underground cave...UV lights? How did they make sunshine underground?

She shook her sore head, she wouldn't be able to ever understand WICKED. Evelyn looked back at her reflection. Her smile was gone. Her pink lips were pressed into a tight line. She had a pretty good blue and purple bruise forming on the side of her face from her temple all the way down to her cheek bone.

With a long slow inhale she closed her eyes, counted to 3 and then let it out. She picked up the brush and untangled her hair. And brushed her teeth. With another sigh, wishing she had one of Newt's hoodies she left the bathroom and went to find the guys.

Pushing the door room open she saw adults in white coats walking around the Gladers and Teresa. Newt glanced up, he had his shirt sleeve rolled up and a doctor was giving him an injection of some kind. She made her way straight for him.

"Hey Love!" His eyes lit up, "Thought you had drowned there, that was a long buggen' shower."

"I tried. Didn't work." Evelyn muttered.

Newt frowned at her.

"Lee wh-"

"All done Mr Newton." The doctor said straightening up, she turned and looked at Evelyn. There was something very motherly in her gauze. It made Evelyn feel less tense. "Miss Evelyn, please remain here. I'll be right back for your exam. I heard you had quite the hit to the head."

Evelyn just nodded. The doctor turned and walked away. Newt took hold of her hand and pulled her down into his lap. He turned her head so she was looking at him, his eyes full of worry and concern; yet Evelyn could see his own heart ache.

"It's just still really fresh." Evelyn said quickly before he could ask.

Newt nodded in understanding and pulled her into a hug. He didn't say anything else, just held her. Evelyn was thankful, she didn't want to talk. Newt's arms and the sound of his heart and steady inhale and exhales were enough. He ran his hands through her hair, making her feel really sleepy.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, my Dears, but I really do need to check that head of yours." The doctor was back, holding a clip board and fresh medical supplies.

Evelyn slowly sat up.

"You're welcome to stay Mr Newton, she just needs to sit where you are." She smiled kindly at them.

Newt gently helped Evelyn stand and switch places. He leaned against the table that still had the remnants of the pizza. The doctor placed everything down and got to work.

"What's that?" Evelyn asked.

"It's just victims and minerals and everything else you were deprived of."

Evelyn was watching the doctor intently as she did her work. She had gentle kind eyes, dark hair loosely pulled back into a ponytail. Her hands were sure and worked almost on their own.

"Were you always a doctor?" Evelyn asked.

"I was, before the sun flares I was a pediatrician." She smiled at her. "I was a doctor for children." She added after seeing Evelyn's confused face. She was now shinning a light into Evelyn's eyes, making her head hurt more.

Evelyn flinched, "Doctor?"

"Mary. Please call me Marry." The doctor said, "Sorry, Dear. Here," she handed her some pills, "it will help with the headache. May I see that arm?"

"My arm?"

Mary nodded and indicated to her arm. Evelyn held it out. Mary turned her arm over, seeing the claw marks, she frowned, something flashed in her eyes.

"Was this recent?"

Evelyn nodded. "On our way from the helicopter to the door. One of those...what did they call it...? Cranks? One of them jumped on me, her nails dug in."

Mary's frown deepened.

"What's wrong?" Newt asked, worry thick in his voice.

"Cranks Cary all sorts of disease. I'll need to give you another injection, just to be safe."

"Okay." Evelyn nodded.

Mary did so, and took some blood samples, cleaned and wrapped her arm in fresh gauze. Listened to her heart and lungs.

"I'm sorry dear, I'm going to have to ask you a few personal questions, just so I can give you the proper medical care." Her tone changed to a gentle apologetic one.

"Oh... okay."

"Would you prefer to go somewhere else, more private? Instead of here in the open?"

"Okay." Evelyn looked at Newt. And then back to the doctor. "Can he come too? Please?" She asked quietly.

"That is up to you." Mary smiled.

Evelyn took Newt's hand and they both followed Mary to the girls dorm. Evelyn sat down on the bottom bunk, pulling her knees up. Newt sat down beside her, his hand reassuringly on her back. Mary sat down opposite them in the other bed, her clip board of Evelyn's medical record on her lap.

"Evelyn, when was the date of your last menstrual cycle?"

Evelyn shrugged.

Mary frowned. "You're not sure?"

Evelyn shook her head. Mary glanced at Newt and then back to Evelyn.

"Is there a chance you could be pregnant?"

Evelyn shook her head, "no." She whispered. Out of the corner of her eye saq Newt shift and his face was slightly pink.

"Were you two sexually active?"

Newt's head shot up, his eyes wide. Evelyn just nodded.

"But no chance if being pregnant?" Mary asked again.

"No."

Newt looked at her now, his face lost colour.

"Was there protection in the maze?" Mary asked again, frowning.

Evelyn shook her head. Newt ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Shuck! Lee! How can you be sure? Shucken bloody hell! We..I..I didn't even buggen' think! Shuck I'm a slinthead!" Newt's voice was strained.

Evelyn let her knees drop so she was sitting cross legged. She fidgited with her own hands. Mary was quiet, and Newt was clearly starting to panic. Evelyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"There's no chance because I can't..." She had to stop and try to swallow the lump in her throat.

"You can't what?" Newt asked, his eyebrows pulled together and his mouth pulled into a frown.

"Get pregnant. I can't." She said quietly.

"Could you elaborate, dear?" Mary asked.

Evelyn nodded. She looked up, Mary was looking at her with such a motherly worry Evelyn wondered what it would be like to get hugged by her. Chuck would have loved her. Evelyn looked over at Newt, and took his hand.

"Remember those nightmare memories I had? After I helped Alby?"

Newt nodded.

"I didn't tell you all of them."

Newt opened his mouth and then closed it.

"It was a snap shot...I was 13. Strapped to trable some lady demanded that I be steralized. I felt everything, at least in the memory I remember excruciating pain. I don't remember anything before the maze, but I never had a period for the two years in the maze."

"What-"

"I can't have kids Newt." She whispered, a tear slid down her cheek.

Newt's face was a mix of emotions.

"You're sure about that? It was a memory and not a dream?" He asked.

Evelyn nodded, "it was a memory. WICKED had me steralized at 13."

"What the hell?"

Evelyn forgot Mary was there. She was looking at Evelyn like she was slapped.

"They would preform such a brutal surgery on a child?" She whispered.

"They sent buggen' children into the damn maze, why wouldn't they add that too?" Newt spat bitterly.

She looked furious, but keeping a tight hold on it. Mary nodded in agreement, her face softening and saddening when she looked at Evelyn.

"I'm so sorry my dear."

Her gentle voice made more tears fall. She hung her head and the tears fell. A moment later she felt Mary sit down beside her, and arms pulled her into a hug.

It was a hug Evelyn would expect a mother to give. She held the back of Evelyn's head and rubbed her back. Evelyn's damn broke. All the tears she wished she had in the shower came spilling out onto Mary's shoulder. Mary held her rubbing her back and rocking her gently.

Evelyn slowly sat up, sniffling and using the back of her hands to wipe away the tears. Mary didn't say anything, just gave her a small smile. She squeezed her hand gently.

"You need sleep." She glanced at Newt, "You all need sleep."

Newt nodded.

"She has a concussion, sleep and rest for as long as possible." She looked at the door and back at Newt and Evelyn. "I don't know what the Director has planned for you children. But head up, eyes open and use your head." She got up and left.

There was silence in the room.

"Evelyn -"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Evelyn interupted.

Newt deflated. "It woulda been nice to know. But it is what it is. An' you didn't know until the end." He ran a hand through his hair.

"But...Newt...I can't have kids...unless someone can reverse the surgery."

"Sure having kids would be bloody awesome. But we're still bloody young, 17 18? I want ta live with you, Lee. Not your child bearing organs. I love you. Fully and completely! I need you. I want ta buggen' wake up and see your face every morning. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. I wanna hear you laugh and I wanna bloody dance with you in the moonlight!"

Evelyn felt her heart squeeze, the empty dark void where her soul was supposed to be warmed, a few pieces of her heart melded back together.

"Oh Newt..."

"And we could always adopt if we really want kids. But right now...I'm happy with you."

He had scootched closer, while he was talking. He gently brushed his fingers on her check and tucked some hair behind her ear.

"I love you so much, it hurts." She whispered. His big chocolate brown eyes were soft. He smiled. And her heart fluttered.

"Why are you so gentle and sweet and perfect?" Evelyn whispered again.

His smile turned into a smirk.

"Well...I don't always have to be gentle and sweet..." He growled. His eyes growing dark.

He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against hers.

"Conclusion, Newt. Remember?" She mumbled against his lips. "Also...that door doesn't have a lock."

"Hmmm. Too buggen' bad." He pouted, but kissed her again. He was gentle and cautious. It made her heart flutter.

There was a thud at the door and it was pushed open with a giggle. Evelyn and Newt looked towards the door. Minho was pushing the door open, Teresa wrapped in his other arm, her hands burried in his hair. She was walking backwards, their lips connected in a deep passionate kiss.

Newt glanced at Evelyn, and Evelyn raised an eyebrow. They smirked and looked back at the intertwined couple.

"Having fun kids?" Evelyn asked as Newt cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

The two spring apart in surprise.

"Oh. There ya are. Just looking for you, Pixy."

"I can garranty I'm not in Tessa's mouth."

"Hmm. Might have to double check." He smirked at Teresa who gasped and smacked his chest. She was beat red.

"Sorry, didn't know you were in here..." She looked down at her feet.

"It's fine."

"Everyone is gettin ready for bed...we were just saying goodnight..."

"Clearly." Newt muttered and rolled his eyes.

"What were you doin you two?" Minho asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Nunya."

"What?" Teresa's asked.

"Nunya business." Evelyn and Minho said at the same time. Evelyn lifted the corner of her mouth into a sort of smile. Minho chuckled.

"Tessa, I'm going to go sleep with the Gladers, are you staying here or coming with?"

"Oh shuck no, you ain't leaving me alone!" Teresa shook her head.

_______________________

Evelyn was snuggled into the bed. Her back against the wall and Newt's back to the room, they faced each other, his breath fanning her face. He pulled the blankets all the way up and tucked it around her. His head was propped up on an arm. His other hand was gently running over her chest, collarbone and neck, like he used to do to help relax her. It made her heart beat just a little faster, but also relaxed all the tension out of her muscles. Her eyelids were heavy.

"Sleep Lee."

"Say it again..." She breathed.

"Lee." He breathed in her ear.

His finger tips running so gently over her cleavage. She fell asleep to Newt's gentle touch and his lips brushing her forehead.

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**Bit of a filler, a little fluff between our fav couple**