yknow there's days where i'm glad i don't have any super close/close irl friends cuz of drama and if i just am not in a social mood but there's days where i wish i had a best friend i could call at 3am and talk to

a friend who will sit with me on my bed with a tub of ice cream as i rant about how awful my day was or why that super beautiful girl who is amazing and funny and smart doesn't realize it and thinks she's a nuisance and doesn't like to be around people

or a friend i can laugh with and smile with and have a hundred and one inside jokes

a friend who doesn't ignore me but when she does actually realizes it and apologizes and doesn't leave me alone for weeks even after i say it's fine and beg her to leave for 5 seconds cuz you need some you time as well

a friend who will cry with me because my ex comes back and hurts me even more by making me believe he was sorry and that he would do better and begging for a second chance and claiming that he still loves me and regrets it but he didn't and broke me even more

a friend who he's on my nerves and makes me mad and we fight but at the end of the day it's okay because we're friends and something as silly as accidentally telling a secret that won't matter in three months

a friend who comes to me when they need help with a problem because i'm their friend and i have earned their trust

a friend who will tell me to shut up when i'm being annoying or getting carried away when talking about something

a friend who will do something stupid with me and laugh with me when we get caught cuz live a little you only have one life why not have some fun

a friend who will stay up til dawn talking during sleepovers and who will crack themselves up while telling a joke at 4am

a friend who can tell me when i need to stop or when i'm being rude and a friend who isn't afraid to tell me how they really feel about me

i feel like that's such low standards. be honest, funny, a safe place to go to, not violent, and someone i can trust. not so hard right?

but i look at the "friends" i have irl and i realize that not one of these standards are met. it hurts because these are people who know more about me than my own parents even yet i feel so distant from them. why is it about people that makes them so fake?