I didn't want to set foot inside that club building again tonight but I had little choice. 

My coat was still inside, and I wasn't leaving without it. Not only because I was shivering in the cold, but also because it was an expensive coat and people would start asking questions if I'd lost it. 

Luckily for me, the coat-check place was near the exit and I wouldn't have to cross the dance floor again, dodging around Jem and the others. While keeping a close eye on my surroundings, I gave the guy behind the counter my ticket, and he swiftly returned with my coat. 

I headed outside with the coat safely around me, protecting my upper body from being ogled any further by strangers. I almost thought I'd gotten away from the club without a hassle, but then Jem's voice rang out behind me. 

"Celia! Hey, Celia!" he called after me from the entrance. "Where are you going?" 

 My heart pounded wildly in my chest and I picked up the pace as well as I could in the high heels. 

"Sorry, I have to go!" I yelled back. 

"Wait, Celia!" Jem called out, not giving up on his chase just yet. 

I didn't stop either, however, noticing a bus stopping at the street right in front of me. I had no idea which one it was, or if it even went to the place I needed to go, but I started running for it. 

I just barely made it inside the bus, panting. I quickly showed the driver my ticket while nervously glancing over my shoulder if Jem was catching up. 

I saw him jogging towards me outside, but he wasn't in time to reach me. The driver closed the doors and the wheels of the bus started moving. 

Jem looked at me with his hands on his head, utterly confused, as the bus drove off. Still out of breath, I took a seat somewhere in the centre and looked up at the screen announcing the next stops. I was in luck: this bus was going to the station, and I could get another bus to Autumn's house from there. 

A few minutes later, just as my heart was steadying slightly, my phone started ringing. I took it out of my bag with trembling hands and saw it was Jem. I muted the sound and didn't pick up. A few minutes later, my phone started buzzing, and this time it was Jasmine. I didn't pick up her call either, and for the rest of the journey to Autumn's house, I didn't look at my phone again. 

Only when I finally reached the doorstep of Autumn's place about forty minutes later, I took my phone out to use the camera. My face looked like as much of a mess as I'd left behind in the club. There was nothing left of the confidence I'd had on the way there, and the make-up all smeared out under my eyes showed exactly how I felt. 

Sniffing in the cold evening air, I tried to fix myself up a little by wiping the dark stains away, but it didn't work as well as I hoped. And before I was done, Autumn's front door opened just a crack. Light shone into my eyes from inside the house, and Autumn in pyjamas was in the door opening. 

"I thought I heard something outside," she whispered before pressing a finger to her lips, indicating I had to be quiet as well. "There are already people asleep."

I nodded, indicating I understood, and tiptoed into the house. I took off my shoes then followed Autumn up the stairs to her bedroom, where she'd already placed an air mattress on the floor with sheets and a pillow for me to sleep on. 

I didn't think I was going to sleep any time soon, but I was definitely ready to lay down and forget about everything as soon as possible. 

Autumn studied my face, and I hid the urge to hide it with my hands, only looking off to the side so she wouldn't catch the full mess that I was.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly. 

I nodded, not trusting my voice to refrain from trembling.

"No, you're not," Autumn said after a brief silence, and that finally seemed to break the dams. 

Tears started forming in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks no matter how hard I tried to blink them away.

Autumn took a step closer to me. "Hey," she said, gently rubbing my arm. "Go take a shower and clean yourself up. You'll feel better." 

"O-okay," I muttered, following Autumn again, this time to the bathroom. 

She left me there with a pair of her pyjamas and a fluffy towel. I tried to keep my sniffling to a minimum as I showered, and I made it short, remembering people were already asleep. Even as I scrubbed my face thoroughly, I still couldn't get all the black washed away. But at least I looked somewhat alive again when I exited the bathroom in a pair of Autumn's pyjamas. 

When I made it back to Autumn's room, she'd put a little wooden table in-between her and my bed, with two steaming cups of tea on top of it. Autumn herself sat cross-legged on her own bed with a book, and looked up when I came in. She gestured at the tea.

"Take one," she said. "It doesn't have caffeine in it, so you'll be able to sleep after." 

"Thank you," I mumbled, even if I doubted caffeine mattered at this point. 

I sat down on the air mattress and took the left cup, curling my fingers around it. The cup was warm but not too hot to hold. There was a brief moment of silence during which I just stared at the liquid in the glass thermo cup, but Autumn broke it soon enough. 

"What happened, exactly?" she asked. 

I pressed my lips together, staring tensely at the tea in the cup now. 

I could lie or refuse to tell Autumn more, but what was the point? She knew everything. She knew the plan. She knew what I was supposed to do tonight with my pretty dress and my big words, and she knew I'd freaked out because Jem was moving too fast. 

Autumn wasn't stupid, she could deduce it meant that I'd failed in reaching my objective — getting Jem to be my boyfriend. And it certainly wasn't because he was uninterested.

"I... messed up, I'm sorry," I apologised, still refusing to lift my eyes up to meet Autumn's. I kept them firmly trained on the cup.  

"No," Autumn corrected me. "Jem messed up. If he's not giving you space when you're clearly reluctant, then you're not the one to blame." 

I dipped my head further in shame. If that was the case, then why did I feel like such a failure? This night had been what I wanted. I'd wanted to be pretty. I wanted Jem, the hottest guy in school, to pay attention to me. I had gotten everything I wanted, yet, I ran away in fear when it came down to it. I wasn't bold or daring like I wanted to be — like I thought I would be in this situation. 

"Do you still want to be part of that group, then?" Autumn asked.

I finally tore my eyes off of my cup and looked at Autumn. There was no judgement in her eyes, which I didn't expect. I figured blunt Autumn had a strong opinion about what I did, but that didn't seem to be the case. 

"I guess," I answered slowly. "For you, as well, because I'm keeping my end of the bargain: making them leave you alone." I grimaced. "I literally ran off, however. Jem chased me down the street and I quickly hopped on a bus. I ignored all his and Jasmine's calls. I don't know how I'm supposed to fix that." 

Autumn breathed in and out deeply. "You can fix it by saying your parents got in the way. That they noticed you were gone, and you had to run home or risk being grounded for life. But..." 

Autumn trailed off, while I already reached for my bag to get my phone to do as she told me. She glanced at the phone in my hand, frowning. 

"Are you really going to do it?" 

I shrugged and started typing a message to Jem, below all this question marks and questions why I was suddenly running off like that. 

"I should. For our plan." 

Autumn shifted on the bed, letting her legs dangle down as she reached out to grab her own cup of tea. She looked at me intently as she leaned forward. 

"I offered because I thought that's what you wanted, too, and our goals were complimentary. But you don't seem so sure now. Do you want to be Jem's girlfriend?" 

"I..." 

I hesitated. Autumn put her finger on the sore spot, but I needed a moment to gather courage to spit out the truth. I swallowed thickly and started again. 

"I thought I did. But the past few days I wondered if it was the idea of him that I liked more rather than him." 

I snorted, somehow feeling a weight roll off my shoulders after admitting my true feelings about Jem out loud. 

"Honestly? The whole while I was at the club, I just wished I was you. Not as in you at the club, but you at home, sitting there with your tea and your movie." 

A little smile tugged up Autumn's lips at my confession. "Well," she said. "We already have the tea. And I still have the movie, if you're game."