I kept staring at the photo of the phenomenon that was buzz cut Autumn. 

She could pull it off well. She could pull anything off well, and it the reason why so many people admired and were jealous of her, me included. 

Having no hair on her head emphasised the shape of her jawline and cheekbones. Both were well-defined and sharp, yet somehow still soft and very feminine. Her eyes popped with the green and white blend of make-up she wore, and the lack of hair also revealed a long neck and pronounced collarbones. 

I suddenly wondered whether she'd cried when she cut it. I thought of the models on those television Top Model shows. Each season there'd be at least one who got forced to cut all their hair off and they usually cried. Then again, Autumn had decided this herself, not some television producer looking for drama, or so I assumed. 

It was quite the mystery. 

I didn't understand why Autumn had decided to cut off all her hair, and she hadn't left an explanation in the description of the image either. And I definitely didn't understand why people thought this had to do with me. 

Franky, I didn't understand anything about what was going on. All I knew was that I suddenly had dozens of follow requests and they were still rolling in as I was sitting here studying Autumn's photo. I didn't accept any, but every now and then I scrolled through them. By now, I no longer recognised any of the new names and only vaguely recognised the faces. They all went to Demont, but who they were? No clue. Was this what it felt like to be Autumn and have people now you?

I'd already muted the sounds coming from Instagram, but the constant notifications on screen were also starting to get to me, overwhelm me. I did my best to ignore them and after a few deep breaths and a bit of pacing around my room, I finally felt brave enough to go to the comment section. 

That was a big mistake - it was one large cesspit of every reaction you could expect to something so rigorous from a popular girl who was hated and adored at the same time. 

A few of the comments were pretty predicable. There were some students asking if this meant she was a lesbian and was coming out to us. There were some references to Britney Spears' breakdown in 2007 when she shaved her head. One guy joked that people who betted on Autumn becoming prom queen had to be bummed now. Some girls complimented Autumn and told her she's so bold and fierce and that it looked great on her. Eventually, when I reached the first few comments I found what Bailey had been talking about. A comment thread where Sally, one of Jem's friends, remarked that it had to be hard for Autumn to see her ex-boyfriend move on with me immediately at Jem's party. 

It was honestly such a shitstorm. And all of that because a popular girl got a haircut change. 

What was Autumn thinking right now? Was she looking at this? There was a green dot next to her name, so she could be. She could be staring at my profile right now, like I was staring at hers. I frowned. Unlikely. Autumn didn't like me very much already, or so it'd seemed at the party and the football game. 

Still I wanted to ask her whether she was okay, because I'd also noticed she wasn't in school yesterday. No, I couldn't do that. I wouldn't want someone I disliked to ask me if I was okay after I'd shaved my head and people went ballistic over it online. 

My phone started buzzing next to me, making me jolt up. Bailey and Farah.

"Oh my God!" Bailey immediately yelled out the moment I picked up. "What did you do? What are they talking about? When were you with Jem?"

I massaged my left temple with my free hand, squeezing my eyes shut. "At a party," I reluctantly admitted, leaving the exact date unsaid. I'd already lied to Bailey and told her I went on a family weekend. 

"Why didn't you invite us?" 

Bailey's volume hadn't gone down any, and I sensed the resentment. Probably because she realised Spencer was likely there, too. 

"It was rather last minute. It didn't seem like something you'd enjoy, plus, I didn't know it was okay with Jem if I invited more people."

"You could've asked..." 

Bailey was no longer yelling. I breathed an internal sigh of relief that she dropped it.

"Nah, you were right in my case," Farah piped up. "It's not my scene and I wouldn't have come. Though, perhaps I should have to tell you it's not a good idea to cling from the neck of a guy who's that recently single."

"But you weren't there. It wasn't clinging, okay," I replied. "Still, people are commenting this was about me. What am I supposed to do now?"

"I wouldn't do anything," Farah said. "Close Instagram forever and never look back. Social media causes depression and anxiety. You're being exhibit a right now." 

"Not helpful," I groaned.

"Uh, maybe talk to Autumn?" Bailey tried next.

I leaned back in my chair and cast my eyes to the ceiling in dramatic despair. "Yeah, I want to but what would I say to her?"

"Uhhhh," Bailey stammered.

"That's what I thought."

"You could like her photo. Show that you're still on good terms and that it's probably not true," Farah suggested.

"But what if it is about Celia and Autumn thinks she's mocking her?" Bailey asked hesitantly. "Wouldn't that just make it worse?"

Every action I could think of seemed to make this worse. Instagram buzz cut photos were a social minefield I was very ill-equipped to handle. 

I released a deep sigh into the phone. "I'm just going to follow Farah's advice and log off," I said. 

Not necessarily because it was the best way to go, but it was the only way to go that wouldn't involve having to talk to anyone or do anything. No minefield navigating today.

My mom called my down for dinner a few seconds after I hung up the phone and shut my computer off completely. 

It was hard to get any bite through my throat now, however. I tried to see it as a positive thing, because I could stand to lose a few pounds. When I looked down while sitting, my stomach protruded over my jeans. 

I wasn't skinny like Autumn. Was that what Jem wanted? Regardless, there would be a lot of eyes on me tomorrow in school. I already knew that, and my stomach clenched even further knowing that was going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted attention, sure, but not potentially for being called a boyfriend stealing bitch.

"You want some dessert, Celia?"

My dad snapped me out my pondering, and I shook my head. "No, thanks. Can I go upstairs again?" 

Dad nodded, and I quickly made myself scarce. Not that I was any less anxious upstairs and alone, but at least my stomach settled a little when laying on my bed. I closed my eyes for a  moment and tried to take a nap, until mom knocked on my door.

"Celia?"

"Come in." 

I opened one eye and peeked at my mom walking inside. Instead of sitting in my desk chair,  she sat with me, perching herself on my bed. 

"Celia," she said, stroking her fingers through my hair. "You hardly ate anything during dinner. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I lied. "Just not that hungry, that's all."

"Okay, I'm just asking because I saw that black dress on your bed."

I stiffened. Mom noticed my reaction. 

"I'm guessing it didn't fit," she said, and I kept my mouth shut, not admitting it. 

"It's okay to make healthy choices in your foods, but you have to keep eating," she said. "You have curves like your mother. That means some dresses won't fit you, but be proud of them. It's healthy to have a butt."

I snorted when Mom playfully smacked her own butt. 

"I'm not going on some crazy diet, I promise," I said. "It's not that. It's just... What would you say to someone who might be hurt because of you, but maybe not?"

Mom cocked her head to the side, confused but seemingly knowing she shouldn't ask more information or I'd not share with her anymore. 

"Well, I would try talking to them," she said. "Try to find out whether you hurt them."

I covered my eyes with my hands. "I was afraid you'd say that. Fine, I'll shoot her a message."

"No," Mom corrected me. "Talk to her in real life.  Call me old fashioned, but I think it's the best way."

"I don't want to," I whined. "But okay." 

"Alright sweetie." Mom stroked my hair again. "Good luck with that, I'm here if you need to talk to someone." 

Mom got up and left me to my own devices, and agreeing to talk to Autumn in real life was a big fat lie. I'd only agreed because I didn't want to argue. But, I would try to make up something to say to her online.

I pushed myself upright in my bed and grabbed my phone. I wanted to message Autumn on Instagram, but some new messages directly to my phone from unknown numbers caught my eye first. 

Maybe the numbers weren't stored in my phone, but I definitely recognised the pictures. The first message was from Jem.

Jem: Hey! Want to hang out tomorrow after school? 

Proverbially, my jaw just about dropped to the floor. I squeezed my phone as my heart started pounding in my chest. A hot sensation crept up my neck, making my entire face feel like it was on fire. 

Jem wanted to hang out with me? Me?

He must've gotten my number from Spencer. The thought of Jem asking him for my number nearly made me squeal out loud. 

I didn't reply yet. I needed time to think on how to do it in a cool way. I needed to talk to Bailey and Farah.

Deciding to put it on hold for a second, I navigated to the second unknown number message. 

If the first message had my jaw drop to my bedroom floor, the second made it drop right into the basement.

Autumn: Hey, just wanted to let you know this isn't about you. Though, I guess it's not unexpected people would to turn it into that.

My hands were literally trembling as I typed a response. 

Me: What do you mean?

Autumn jumped online immediately. 

Autumn: We're both girls, we have to hate each other's guts and compete, right?

I frowned. 

Me: I don't hate you, I have no idea what's going on.

Autumn: Consider this a public statement from my side. Yes, I'm a lesbian and went went for the stereotypical buzz cut. Also, I'm done being the prom queen.

"What?"

I said that out loud. I didn't text back right away. 

Autumn: Spread the word

Me: ??? 

Autumn: You want to be Jem's gf and Jasmine's bff? The spot is open for you to take. Wear skirts, it'll do well.