The preservation of words is yet another of the essential lessons Marley taught me. She always said that as humans, it was our nature to waste words simply for the act of filling silence. In her opinion, which became my own, silence was a luxury we should appreciate. Marley always said that just because we were humans, didn't mean we needed to become slaves to human nature. She always beat to her own drum. Did as she pleased, her only concern being herself and those she loved. Me, and Brayden being those. She always said people talked too much, and right now was a perfect example of that.

Tyler was forcing small talk as I ate the muffin, trying desperately to fill the silence that surrounded us. We were sitting on the hotel porch, me lost in the view of Brinley, and Tyler lost in his own nervous stuttering. I didn't take him for a nervous person, but I assume it had something to do with discomfort, or perhaps guilt. He had taken me out here only a few moments ago, Logan having gone to look for Finley.

Tyler told me they already knew what happened between us. I was glad for that. At least I wouldn't have to scavenge for words I didn't have. He is so angry, so hurt when he left. It killed me that I caused him that hurt and that anger. I kept telling myself it wasn't my fault, but still, my heart ached when I thought of Finley. It was stupid to think he would understand. He didn't and I couldn't expect him to. It was so easy for me to understand my own thoughts, that I could forget how complex and odd it would seem to someone else. I understood why I couldn't talk about it. Finley, by no fault of his own, could not.

"Are there any friends you'd like to visit during our time here?"

Despite my disinterred hums and the clear dissociation I knew blanketed my features, Tyler's pointless attempts at small talk continued. In fear he would think I was rude, I continued to humour him, answering his questions. I really just wanted to sit in silence.

I thought of the silence me and Brayden shared yesterday. Silence like that always tasted like honey and broken glass. Sweet and exceedingly painful. It was the kind of silence you could never intentionally create. It was a matter of circumstance, for better or worse.

If Tyler and I were to sit in silence right now, it would taste like a cool breeze. Refreshing. My mind, which in my recollection had never slowed to any degree, needed a moment's break. I seemed to always be in a state of overwhelm, my entire life. Just once, for just a moment I would like my silence to be silent. I would like my brain to agree with that philosophy and allow me some peace. Unfortunately, that is not how things work. Not for me.

"No." I answered his question. The wicker chair I sat in pinched the skin on the back of my thigh, but I didn't move. The pain was like a reminder of my physical presence. I seemed to need a lot of those recently. My chin rested against my left knee, which in its instinctual position, pushed against my chest protecting what was left of my heart. The muffin, this one moister and more edible than the day before, sat on a glass table, pieced of the sugared top having been picked off and eaten. It was better than nothing in my opinion, but I could already see the wary looks Tyler was casting to the picked at bake good.

"Are you done?" He asked, gesturing to it. I nodded, wiping the remaining crumbs from my hands onto my sweatpants. Tyler bit his lip, a habit I had noticed we shared, and sighed. "Okay. I'll let you off the hook, it's been a rough day for all of us. A rough week actually." I couldn't agree more. Rough was being generous in my opinion.

Tyler gulped and took a deep breath. "I just want to say..." He trailed off evidently unsure of what it was he 'just wanted to say'. He hesitated for a moment longer. "Look, I suck at apologies. I suck at admitting that I was wrong, but I was wrong," He shook his head looking away from me. "The way I handled everything last night was just so far out of bounds." He paused again, looking back at me again.

He was looking for a reaction, of which there was none. I wanted to hear all he had to say before I reacted. It was human nature to act before thought, but I would not be a slave to human nature. Not while Marley watched over me. I liked to imagine her prideful smile beaming down from me. I liked to imagine someone, dead or alive, was proud of me.

"I was never upset with you-well, actually I was but I shouldn't have been," I nodded slowly, wanting him to continue. "I was angry at myself that I didn't or couldn't protect you," I wondered if the metallic taste of blood from biting his lip eased his panic like it did mine. "It was unfair of me to blame you for not telling me. I don't even know how you would have told me something like that." He was mostly talking to himself now.

People do that when you don't respond. Like humans so often do, they fill the silence you emit with chatter that means nothing. He could have ended at sorry. He should have ended at sorry. But I suppose it was slightly endearing to think that he was truly nervous of my reaction. It showed a level of kindness and consideration that may have brought a smile to my face. But not now. It would feel like I was smiling at a funeral. My own funeral. These days, smiles were as rare as the ruler in me coming out of her shell. It seemed I had forgotten her along the way. Ironic isn't it. The ghost forgetting someone else. She, ruler me that is, is becoming less each day. Soon enough, she will be nothing. The little bit of ife in me would be nothing. It scared me, but it wasn't as if it was truly a shock. She had long since begun withering away.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say is sorry. I am very sorry for the way I acted."

I felt more like a ghost than usual. I felt detached and sad. Just sad. Nothing more to it. I am sad. And looking in Tylers silver eyes, he was too. For one reason or another, we are all at least a little sad. And for everyone who says they're not, it's a lie. It's always a lie. Sadness is as much a part of human nature as breathing.

"Really really sorry."

He was waiting for me to react, but frankly I didn't know how. I wanted to cry. Right then, as I sat there looking into my brother's sad eyes that reflected my own, I wanted to cry like a baby. Something inside me, that I had somehow managed to keep intact through all this, was snapping. With each kind word and undeserved apology, it was like who I was, what I was slowly began to melt away, like an outer layer I no longer needed. But this wasn't sweet or refrashing. This was horrifying. It was like my shield was being ripped away in the midst of a battle and I was left defenseless. I hated it. I hated every second of this feeling. Attachment, this was what it did to people. It tore down walls meant to keep you safe, and invaded, destroying everything you had worked so hard to protect. I had made a fatal flaw somewhere along the line. Somehow, somewhere, I had screwed up royally.

"Izzy, can you tell me anything more about your Mom?"

My bottom lip wobbled, but I would not let this happen. I stood up from the wicker chair, leaving behind the picked-at muffin, the chipped balcony railing, and Tyler.

"Iz, honey where are you going?" He talked to me like a toddler.

I shook my head, walking into the bathroom. "I need a minute." I mumbled, closing the door. I turned the little brass lock, and slid down the wall, emptiness consuming me. It was amazing how I could feel nothing and everything at the same time. How I could be so full of sadness, regret and pain, but so empty of everything else.

I took a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs. I crossed my arms over my chest, as if they would hold together whatever was breaking inside. I closed my eyes, and stopped thinking. For a moment I forced the chaos of my mind to be quiet. Still, it never quite stopped, but it was quiet. I drowned out the noise around me.

I focused on my breathing. Marley would be proud of me. She knew how easily and how often I became overwhelmed, and was always telling me it was okay to take a break. It was okay to stop for a little while. I wasn't sure I quite believed her on that, but I suppose she was right in one way or another. She was always right in one way or another. A soft knock at the door made me open my eyes rapidly.

"Belle? Are you in there?" Logan spoke gently, but not patronisingly.

I sighed. "Y-yeah, I'm in here." The need to cry was supposed for the moment, replaced with an overwhelming need to be close to someone. Not even touching, just close would do just fine. "Can you unlock the door?" He asked. I nodded, though he couldn't see me, and stood up, turning the little brass lock. Logan smiled sadly when our eyes met.

"Hey kid." He whispered.

I realized how childish and stupid I looked as I stood in the bathroom after running away. "Hi." I muttered, my cheeks red with embarrassment.

"How ya doin?" He too was looking for a reaction, or an emotion or something. I hated that I had none to give.

"I'm okay." I would be sooner or later anyway. Logan hesitated for a moment, seemingly unsure of what he should do. I suppose he made a decision when his arms carefully wrapped around me, pulling my body in for a gentle hug.

"You know, it's okay to not be okay sometimes." He whispered in my ear.

If only he knew how not okay I was. If only anyone understood me or my insanely complex thoughts. If only I understood my insanely complex thoughts. I sighed, and leaned my head against his chest. This was dangerous and I knew it. Allowing this attachment is a fatal flaw. Yet in this moment I didn't stop it. I embraced it, and basked in the sweetness of simply being cared for. "We're here for you Iz. We want to help you in any way we can." It could be bull. It could be a lie that would bite me in the ass later. But I believed him. My hungry heart ate the lies, a sweet yet bitter taste. We stayed like this for a long while, Logan's arms around me, my body melting into his.

"Are you ready to go and get packed?" Logan asked after a moment. I sniffled and nodded against his chest, slowly moving away from him.

"Yeah." I whispered. I went to step around him, but Logan grabbed me again and squeezed me one last time.

"I'm here for you little moon."

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion, but Logan let go of me and turned away before I could ask him about the odd nickname.

Slowly, I threw clothes, shoes and anything else I had brought into the duffle bag. Finley sat on the other side of the bed, never once casting me as much as a glance.

Tyler however, seemed to be unable to peel his eyes away from me. He was studying me like I was a work of art he didn't understand. It made me shift uncomfortably, but that didn't make him stop. Logan carried my bag out to the car when we were packed. I had said I could do it, but he just smiled goofily and shushed me.

I was still mewling over what he had called me, but for one reason or another, didn't bother to ask about it. My mind was too full of answers as it was. Once we were in the car, it was silent. No one had anything worth saying. For once, everyone was silent.

In this world true silence is rare. Quiet is usual, but the kind of silence that makes you feel rejuvenated, that is a rarity in this world.

Because everyone has something to say. Everyone wants to fill the silence.

In this world everyone wants to be heard.

A/N-Make sure you go follow me on Instagram evam224wattpad to get updates as well as some other things. I will be taking requests for covers and aesthetics on there (as well as here for those who don't have instagram) and I will also will try and do some fun things if I get enough followers.

Not a fan of this chapter but oh well, not all of them can be perfect. I have an epic surprise in store for all of you next chapter so stay tuned for that.

Lots of people said they wanted more representation of the LGBTQ + community and I'd just like to say that there will be quite a bit of that in this story. I won't reveal anything yet but just know that I am trying my best to make sure everyone feels represented in my stories.

Thank you all for almost 90k views on this story, it really means the world to me. You all are amazing and I appreciate every comment vote and message. I am amazed at how much this has grown since I first published battle scars back in March. Side note, did anyone ever read my very first story called Bodyguards? It was a protective older brother story (surprise surprise, some things never change) and I have since unpublished it because that writing is TRASH.

Okay last thing. Am I the only one who thinks that Ed Sheeran is INFURIATING. Like I HATE him. There's really no reason, but I do. I DESPISE him. The way he looks, the way he breaths, just the way he exists is so unexplainably irritating. Am I the only one who feels this way? I can't be. This man must be stopped before he kills us all. Okay have a good day and thank you for the kind comments!