I was angry. Looking at the brown eyed boy I felt the fury I had buried inside myself 6 months ago. I wouldn't call him by his name. He didn't deserve that. His gaze locked on mine, in shock or perhaps fear. My fists clenched at my sides, fingernails digging into the soft skin on my palms. My body was shaking in rage just at the sight of him.

The brown eyed boy took a step towards me, but hesitated, looking at me as if seeking permission to approach. My breath was short, my heart was racing.

"Izzy." He spoke slowly, sadly. He had no right to be sad. He had no right to be anything but remorseful for his part in one of the most heart wrenching events in my lifetime.

"No." I whispered taking a step towards my siblings who remained oblivious leaning against the car.

"Izzy please I need to talk to you." He sounded desperate, hopeless even. But I had no empathy for him. That had vanished a long time ago, along with trust and at some point in time, friendship.

"No." My voice was shaky, raw with anger and hurt.

I quickened my pace, not wanting to be in earshot of anything he had to say. I didn't speak to Emma or Fin before climbing into the back seat, still trembling with fury.

I didn't understand why he was there. Or why he felt he had any allowance to come to me, to speak my name in any manner. I had told him 6 months ago that I wanted nothing to do with him or anyone else involved, and rest assured that I meant it then and I mean it now.

Those pretty brown eyes will not fool me like they did every other female. They wouldn't drag me down like they had so many other unsuspecting women. He shared his eyes with a monster. One that haunted me in so many ways.

"Izzy, are you okay?" I jumped at the voice beside me, not having heard the car door open. Jace was crouched in the doorway looking at me worriedly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

"I-I'm alright." I lied through my teeth. I was not alright. Nothing was alright.

"You sure Iz? You're shaking pretty bad." Jace put a hand on my arm, that was visibly quivering.

"I-I'm alright." Maybe if I said it enough times it would come true.

Jace hesitated for a second before standing up from his crouching position and smiling wearily. "Okay, I'm here if you wanna talk."

I wondered why he still cared. An ulterior motive perhaps.

That was the only explanation as to why these boys and Emma still paid mind to my emotions.

It was a cynical point of view. But that is just how things seem at times.

THE WORLD THAT WAS MINE

I have introduced the 3 principal parts of my personality. Ghost, shadow, and ruler. But I have not discussed one of my less favorable traits.

The cynic.

The part of me that is mistrustful of the motives people around me put forth. Some may say that my family cares for me because I am their sister and they want me to be happy, but the cynical part of me says that they do it out of obligation and they don't actually care for me. Or worse, they are earning my trust just to break it in the future.

My cynical views stretch beyond my family as well. Having a manifestation of my past want to talk to me, made the worst flash through my mind. I was wary of his intentions, and truth be told I had good reason. He had done things to make me angry with him and most of all skeptical of his true plans. If I know him as well as I think, his grounds for talking to me will be self-serving if not entirely selfish. I am still reeling from the pain he and others caused me 6 months ago. I was far from ready to have a civil conversation.

The car ride home from school was fairly quiet. There was small talk thrown around about our days briefly but the tension was noticeable to all of us. I usually don't mind the quiet, but today silence gave me room to think. And those cynical thoughts tend to be dangerous.

Now, almost 2 hours after we arrived home, I was slumped against my bedroom wall, my knees pulled to my chest in the protective manner they always seemed to fall in. The physical space was silent, yet in my mind it was deafening.

It didn't make any sense. He was here. The brown eyed boy I had left behind in Brinley had stood in front of me two hours earlier. And if he was in Harlan, perhaps so was the monster that shared his eyes. That was the scariest thing. The fear of the unknown.  It was something that plagued the world and all its tenants.

Deciding I needed a distraction, I stood up from my position against the wall. Walking down the stairs, I could make out the faint sound of a Grateful dead song being strummed on a guitar. They were Marley's favorite band, so I had been listening to them for as long as I can remember. As I got closer I recognized the song as Casey Jones, one of my personal favorites.

I leaned against the door frame, nodding to the music. Nolan played the guitar with a clear passion and feel for the music. His converse clad foot tapped to the beat as his fingers plucked the strings in  a way that seemed almost like muscle memory.

"Casey Jones right?" I brought attention to myself as he looked up, breaking his focused state.

"You know the Grateful Dead?" He asked incredulously. I smiled and nodded.

"I do." I knew it wasn't usual for 12 year old girls to be into 70s rock but if I'm honest, I find Jerry Garcia more enjoyable than Taylor Swift.

"That's really cool." He nodded in approval.

"What else can you play?" I asked, taking a seat beside him. He thought for a moment before he band to strum a familiar tune.

"Fire On The Mountain." I said after a moment of listening.

"Yeah it is." He seemed impressed with my knowledge of a song made in 1975. "Do you play at all?" Nolan asked once he had finished the first chorus of the song.

I shook my head. "I never had the time." I admitted sadly. My life had been filled with responsibility and desolation, instead of hobbies and endless leisure. Things like art and music have never found a place in the never ending chaos I lived in.

"Well maybe I can teach you." Nolan offered, sounding excited. "I think it's really cool that you know classic music." He put the guitar down, resting it against his leg.

My smile grew. After the mental torture I had been immersed myself in since I locked eyes with the brown eyed boy, it was nice to be offered something as simple a compliment and a guitar lesson. It was the purity I had craved amongst the complexity I never seemed to shake, no matter where I was or what I was doing.

"I'd like that." I almost whispered. He wouldn't know it, but his offer was one I greatly appreciated.

"Well, whenever you're ready come find me." Nolan smiled and stood up, taking his guitar with him.

For a moment after he left, I just sat there. As the cynic I was, a doubt ran through my mind that he actually wanted to teach me and it was just out of politeness but for once, I ignored that and allowed myself to bask in the kindness my brother had given me.

"Belle!" I heard Logan yell from the kitchen.

"Yes?" I didn't bother to comment on the nickname Logan had insisted on calling me since Sunday, despite knowing my distaste for it.

"Go get Henry for dinner please." I called back an okay, and made my way up the stairs.

I knocked on Henry's door but got no response. So, I knocked again. Nothing. And when I knocked for the third time with no success, I decided to take it upon myself to go in and find him. I opened the door to reveal a dark room, with the curtains drawn and an unmade bed.

The walls were bare, aside from one framed photo of the whole family that looked like it was from a very long time ago. Emma looked to be about 2 in that picture, so naturally I was not present. What did catch my eye, was the dark haired man holding baby Emma.

He looked exactly like Tyler, leading me to believe he was our father. In all my years I have never seen a picture of the man and it was slightly shocking to see one now. I had met him but that was a long time ago. He was just a blurry face in my memory now. I could see his features in all of us, including myself. All of my siblings either had silver or blue eyes, that I knew came from my mothers side of the family. But I had green eyes. Green eyes that matched the ones of the man in the picture.

"What're you doing in here?" An angry voice snapped me out of my momentary trance. I spun around to see Henry, looking absolutely furious. "What the hell are you doing in my room?" He demanded louder this time. I stumbled back, feeling a bite of fear in my heart. "Isabelle why the fuck are you in my room?" He yelled.

"I-I-" I stammered over my words looking desperately for a way to explain my actions which should have been perfectly explainable.

"You know what I don't want to even hear you excuses." Before I could react, Henry grabbed my arm rather roughly and yanked me out of the room.

"Henry stop." I said trying to pull my arm out of his bruising grip. He didn't stop though. Instead he proceeded to drag me down the stairs, ignoring my pleas for him to let go. When we got to the kitchen I was almost in tears. "Henry please you're hurting me." I cried.

This got the rest of the boys attention. All of my siblings were waiting in the kitchen and as soon as they saw Henry's death grip on my wrist, they all glared at our brother. Tyler was the first to properly react, pulling me away, and sitting me in a nearby chair.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nolan growled at Henry who still had a sharp gaze pinned on me. "She was in my room." Henry pointed an accusing finger at me.

"I was getting you for dinner, I'm sorry." I mumbled not daring to meet his eyes.

"Yeah I told her to." Logan was quick to jump to my defense.

"So you thought going into my room and snooping around would get me to come down for dinner?" He was evidently frustrated with this conversation and I hated that I was the cause of that.

"I knocked but you didn't answer. I was only getting you for dinner I swear." Henry's eyes softened slightly but there was still an ounce of anger shining in them. The protective steel wall had temporarily come down and I could see all the emotion and pain in his eyes. It gave the impression that there was something more meaningful behind his anger than just a breach of his privacy.

"It's fine Izzy, now you know to not do that again." Tyler said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "And if you ever lay an angry hand on her or Emma or anyone else in this house, I will not hesitate to knock some sense into you." My oldest brother was threatening when he wanted to be, and I cowered slightly even though it was in my defense.

Henry gave a curt nod, but he seemed to be mentally elsewhere.

"Let me see your wrist." Liam urged, taking the chair beside me. That's when I realized I had been subconsciously rubbing the now red and irritated skin on my arm.

"It's not too bad." I mumbled. "Just a little red."

"Hmm." Liam hummed in response as he inspected my wrist. "I think somehow you'll survive." I gave him a small smile which in turn, made his grin widen.

Mine was forced but that was less from the minor pain and more so from the altercation in general.

Fighting was never one thing I enjoyed or was good at. But that's what you have to do in this world. Fighting how you survive, even if it is undesirable at times. In this world you fight for love, you fight for anger, you fight for beliefs.

But the worst kind of fighting is the kind bred from fear or grief.

That is the kind most commonly found in this world.

It is the kind I have done lots of.

A/N-AHHHHH! I START HIGH SCHOOL TOMORROW AND IM SO SCARED. I NEED ADVICE ASAP!

please help me im very nervous.

I was eating Chex Mix while I was writing this and it got caught in my throat and I chocked and spat food on my computer. It was like really gross and I just am not proud of that. Maybe I should stop multi tasking because girl, its has not worked out so well.

Who do you think the brown eyed boy is? I won't say much other than we'll be seeing him a lot more from now on :). I chose not to say his name because I feel that, one it doesn't make a difference because the name will mean nothing, and two it leaves the door open later for his name to be revealed and how he relates to Izzy. Who is the monster Izzy keeps referring too? What do you think Henry is hiding?

Vote and comment!