I blink up at the sky and sink back against the uncomfortable bench seat. In the distance I can hear laugter and singing. Today is a day of reflection, just one year on from the end of the world.

So much can change in a year. A part of me can hardly believe how long it has been since the virus mutated and started the outbreak that would decimate more than half of the worlds population.

No one could have predicted it, and no one knew if we would ever truly recover to live a meaningful way again. In the chaos of it all our systems broke and the world fell apart.

If it hadn't been for Dec at my side, I know I likely would have fallen apart too. The things we've seen, and had to do, have nearly broken me time and time again. He didn't mind picking up the pieces and holding me together until I remembered how strong I was.

From the moment he rolled up outside my office and whisked me away, I knew I couldn't live without him.

There is no one I would rather have at my side to explore this dangerous new world with.

Governments and world leaders are gone now, in favour of small councils and teams running different settlements. They are the judges, the decision makers and the peace keeper for everyone now. It took us awhile to make our place what it needed to be, and to give our dysfunctional family the home they deserved. Even in the early stages of it all though, I always knew Dec was made for a job like that.

It was by no means an easy year and if the end of the world had taught me anything, it's that survival of the fittest is bullshit. Fate has a twisted sense of humour and she can take the fitted and healthiest people without a second thought. I'm stronger than I was at the start of all this. Both mentally and physically, I think we all are.

How could anyone not be changed by the things we have seen throughout this?

As I reflect, I remember those I started this journey with. Work colleagues who's names are distant memories, but I still wonder about them sometimes.

Violet who we lost just a few months after it all began. It was unexpected and shocking and discovering that bodies were capable of rising immediately after death was a rude awakening for us all and a horrible experience for Ruby.

She died shortly after that and we still don't know if it was natural causes or if she just didn't know how to be without her soulmate. I never expected them to last long without each other. I've never seen two people more in love that they were, apart from perhaps Dec and I.

My mind drifts to Sarah. It took a long time to manage her grief and she didn't really have the luxury of time to process it fully. Her family needed her and so did we. It was something that made me feel immense guilt, but also pride as I saw her become more fiercely protective of all the children. It wasn't long before she was something of a foster mother for any orphans we found along the way.

Little Ivan is now a strapping two year old who hates the word 'no' and has a terrible habit for getting naked and running around the compound. Polly is the total opposite to him in many respect. She's chronically shy and the only person able to bring her quiet little personality out is Roza.

Roza is bright and happy considering everything she has been through. In the earlier days she had night terrors that woke everyone up with her screams, but she is doing much better now. She has never spoke to me about what she dreamed about, but sometimes she told me she needed a little brave girl magic to get through the day and that was something I understood.

Karina surprised us all by turning out to be a professionally trained chef. With limited resources she somehow manages to crafts meals that keep everyone happy and never seem boring. Within a few months of us settling here, she was responsible for every meal served, alongside her team of volunteers.

Toby is happiest avoiding people and caring for the animals. The only people he really tolerates are our little scouts, who really aren't quite so little anymore. Despite our best efforts, we couldn't locate any of their families so they were stuck with us for better or worse.

We've acquired so many more people into our little group. Some were just travelling alone and liked how we worked, others were working for less savoury types until we 'liberated' them and they never wanted to leave again.

At last count we were at almost two hundred people here. Two hundred souls relying on us to care for them and keep them safe.

My eyes scan the horizon, checking for signs of movement, but it was quiet, as it had been for almost a month. Still I took watch as regularly as possible to check that nothing ever changed. If it did, I wanted to be the first to know.

"Are you ok?" 

Arms wrap around me from behind and I sink but into Dec's chest with a smile, "Yeah, just keeping watch."

"We have teams for that you know." He teases, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. 

"I know," I sigh, "I just know they're all really excited to celebrate us surviving a whole year."

"And you're not?"

"It's not that I'm not excited to have survived, I suppose I just feel a little sadness for the girl I was before all this changed me." 

Dec spins me to face him and backs me so I'm against a pillar, "You are still that same girl. Just a little stronger and a little wiser." He says with a soft smile, hand brushing against my cheek.

"Am I really though? Before all this," I wave my hand at everything around us, "I would have spent my evenings watching trashy dramas on TV and having sex with you!"

"Well we can certainly achieve at least one of those!" He says, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I gasp in mock excitement, "You mean to say you found somewhere I can watch the Kardashians?"

He smiles and growls in mock anger as he begins pressing kisses to my cheeks and throat as I giggle uncontrollably.

Just a year ago, I had wondered whether I would ever feel happy again. There was so much uncertainty, so much fear, about what the future held for any of us.

"Are you going to come down for my speech?" He asks when he pulls back for a moment.

"Of course," I smile, "wouldn't miss it for the world."

"I'll send someone up to relieve you then. You'd better hurry down, I'm a fantastic speech giver and you're not going to want to miss it." He promises.

I laugh and push him towards the stairs, "Go, I promise I'll be there."

He grins and straightens his shirt before making his way down.

I let my eyes scan the horizon one more time as I listen for the boots on the stairs of my replacement coming. Clearly Dec already had someone on standby.

The sun is setting and the familiar colours of orange and pink are bleeding out to inky darkness. They're beautiful and one of the only constants I've had through this time. To me they have become more meaningful than just days ending. They're counted moment of survival. Proof we made it another day more than we ever thought possible.

"Ma'am?"

"I told you to call me Bri." I smile at the gangly teenager who has appeared.

"Of course, sorry ma'am...damn...Miss Bri." Robbie stammers.

I laugh, "Don't worry. Just keep careful watch."

He nods and immediately looks beyond me to scan the horizon for danger. I don't bother saying goodbye as I make my way down to the meeting hall, affectionately known as the pit for the crater shaped hole in the centre.

Goodbyes are for the dead and dying, not the living.

"Thank you for coming." Dec's voice instantly fills the space and the light conversation dies out quickly.

His eyes find my own from the small makeshift stage, "A year ago today began the outbreak that would change our lives. Along the way we lost friends, lovers and family. They will never be forgotten and we live on, we live our strongest and best lives in their memory."

I don't have to look around to know everyone is hanging off his words.

"We have been battered, but not beaten. We have struggled, but survived. Now, three hundred and sixty five days later, we are still standing. I don't know about you, but I think that's something worth celebrating." He says emphatically.

Cheers and applause fill the room and he waits for it to die down with a smile playing across his lips.

"There is no one I'd rather have at my side through this than you. " His words are addressed to the crowd, my heart knows they're for me.

'I love you' I mouth at him and watch his mouth curve into a grin.

It may not last forever, but for now we are safe, we are happy and we are in love. I cannot ask for more than that. I cannot ask for anything when I feel like the luckiest girl at the end of the world.