Dear You,

Heya! God, its like sometimes with you we're best friends but I don't feel that way. You're kind to me, you are never rude, and your patient. We also are similar, but I'm pretty sure the only difference is that you have PTSD and I have the people in my head.

When I see you update and I comment, it feels natural. It feels like I belong there, like we are actually friends. I don't understand, though, why does every other time make me feel like a stranger? Like just another person in your lump of friends?

I know I shouldn't complain, because I'm not worth it, but why do I feel like your a friend when we talk but otherwise your a stranger. I know you so well, and you know me. Yet, when I think of you, I always see someone I don't know. Maybe thats why I'm so afraid to send a message?

Is it because something about you makes me feel like I don't know you? Is it the same way with everyone else or is it just my anxiety? I haven't seen one therapist for my problems, so I wouldn't know. So, tell me, why am I so nervous to send a message? Look at your profile?

We have no bad blood, as far as I know, so why is it that some part of me screams not to trust you. Screams at me saying to not think of you? Is it my instincts that are telling me that your terrible, or is it because your actually good and I haven't known good yet?

I don't get it, I really don't. What is it about you that makes me so afraid of you? What is it about you that makes me clam up and see you as a danger? Your just like me, and I'm just like you in a lot of ways. So, "You," tell me. What is it? Are you out for blood, or is that my mind is so messed up I can't tell who's a threat and who's kind.

-Me