"It's really tonight?" I asked nervously, watching Matthew shove his soccer shoes into a bag. I sat crossed legged over on his bed, he stood up from the desk chair after putting the shoes in. He pulled open one of his draws looking for an item of clothing.

"I told you this the other day babe, how can you forget?" He pulled out his red soccer top.

I watched him pull his black T over his head pulling it off as he replaced it with the red one.

"I don't know, forgetful mind I guess," I lied.

He rushed around some more getting his stuff together as I watched with a wandering mind.

I decided I would come over to Matthews house to see him, around ten minutes ago I arrived. Only to see he was getting ready for something. My original plan was to spend some time with him before going to Gilman later. But to my surprise, it turns out I may have already made plans.

He says it's this big game. He wanted me there. He wasn't all bad, he may have cheated but would he really so desperately want me to attend his soccer game if he didn't regret what he did? So right now he was getting ready for practice. I watched him rush around thinking about how I was going to break to Billie I couldn't come see him perform tonight.

I know it seemed mean to ditch Billie off like this. But after just having been cheated on, when your boyfriend actually wants to have you around you can't just not be there.

That sounds bad. I know. You don't need to tell me. But I guess it's one of those things where I can't explain myself enough where someone will say 'Y'know what, yeah I understand that.' It's one of those things you won't understand, until it's you.

Finally, he calmed down having sorted his things. He took a few deep breaths standing before me in his soccer kit, his hands resting on his hips. Before he asked me the question. "So will you be there?"

My answer was hesitant. I had to swallow down my nerves first before I could confirm. "Yep," I gave him a forced but supposed to look sincere, smile.

He broke out with a grin. "Aw man," He smiled taking his hands off his hips as he walked closer to his bed. He pulled me in unexpectedly as I laughed hugging him around his waist, still being on his bed. "You're the best," He finished.

"What are girlfriends for,"

This was going to be hard to tell Billie I was going to see the person he hates most right now at his soccer game than watching my three best friends perform their gig. Not to mention how Luella will be unhappy with me leaving her with Sage.

Not that she has anything against Sage. She just doesn't know her and that's the problem.

Luella means well. And when she really knows sage she'd laugh at being nervous that I wasn't there. But Luella's only really extroverted when she knows you. If she doesn't, you'll hardly get a peep out of her unless you're the one who keeps talking.

Which, was me when we first met.

I'm supposed to sort of be the ice breaker for me and Luella to begin to know Sage. Without me, Lou will be awkwardly helpless.

"Come on then," Matthew spoke pulling away as I looked back up at him. "I'll give you a ride home on my way,"

"Actually..." I began, pushing myself off his bed to stand beside him on his carpet floor. "Could you drop me off at Billie's?"

He gave me an unsure look. "Billies?" He repeated.

"Yeah..."

"You're still gonna be at my game later aren't you?"

"Course I am, that's why I need to go see Billie." I tried to briefly explain. But he still looked confused. "I forget about your game... I made some plans with Billie I need to cancel,"

I was sort of expecting him to focus more on how I forgot about his game and made plans. But he smiled before nodding. "Alright princess, we can drop you off there," Sort of just happy I suppose that I was picking his plans over Bill's.

~

"What?"

I swallowed again. Looking straight at Billies vacant stare. Before managing to apologise. "I'm sorry Beej,"

"You're sorry?"

"Yeah... well, I never really thought he'd want me at any soccer games let alone go tonight-"

"-Big whoop your boyfriend wants you. I always want you, but now he's playing at some stupid soccer game and-"

"-Billie this game is important to him. He's been training for this game for ages. Look, I'm sorry I can't come tonight. Really. I am. But I already told Matt I would be at this game tonight,"

"You already told me you would be at Gilman tonight," He furrowed his brows looking over at me. "But apparently that's not important,"

"We're here!" Announced the voice of Tre Cool as Billie's front door opened. Mike and Tre strolled in casually before noticing Billie and I stood defensively in the middle of the living room. "They're arguing again,"

"Oh great," I mumbled slightly, folding my arms as I glanced away from the three boys.

"No- no it is great. Hey guys- get this. Nightlyn... can't come tonight,"

I looked back at them as Tre and Mike looked at me Dully.

"How come?" Tre asked in a tiny voice.

I lowered my arms back to my side. "I'm sorry guys, but-"

"-But Matthew wants her to be at his soccer game tonight," Billie finished for me.

Mike blinked a few times staring at me confused. Trying to figure out if he could believe I would in fact do this or not. "For real?"

I shuffled positions. "It's an important game to him," I shrugged, looking down at the ring on my middle finger. Revolving it around my finger.

"Soccer games aren't important. If soccer was so important we wouldn't have been given arms," Mike replied.

"It's important to him,"

"But our gigs are important to us?" Tre questioned.

Billie put his hand up for a second as if to say 'exactly'. "I've tried saying this,"

Nothing was simple when your relationship and friendship competed against each other. I had to choose to go to Matthews game tonight. Even if I didn't already agree to go, I would have anyway. It felt pleasant being wanted after feeling like I wasn't.

"So what- you're just not coming? Like that? I mean what about you properly meeting Sage?"

"She'll have Lou," I excused.

"Nightlyn she was excited to meet you too. Now, what do I tell her- you ditched Gilman for your cheating boyfriend?"

"Just tell her something came up,"

"Absolutely. Your boyfriend came up," Billie interrupted.

"Shut up Billie! I'm sorry, what more do you want? I am so sick of arguing with you guys. But I'm not arguing about this. Matt was super happy when I said I'd come. He wants me there. He wants me. I go to your guys' gigs all the time,"

"Exactly," Billie nodded. "That's why I'm so aggravated Nightlyn. Because you're habitually there. Now you don't wanna be, you'd rather watch an asshole kick around a sphere." He walked past me into his kitchen. Leaving me in the room with Mike and Tre.

I looked at both of them with guilt. "I'm sorry,"

Mike shrugged.

Tre delivered me a similar response. Not much of one but it felt like the most I would get.

"Good luck though," I tried brightening the mood up.

Tre gave a faint smile as a thank you. Before Mike asked again. "So you're unquestionably not gonna come see us tonight? You've never missed our gigs,"

"I know, it's a shitty thing of me to do. I know- but Matthew wants me there-"

"-Billie wants you there. Me and Tre do of course, but you know how much these things mean to Billie,"

I nodded accepting Mike was right. "I know," Was all I could really keep saying. "But Billie even stated it himself. Matthew wants me rarely; Billie always does. I have to at least enjoy the moments where Matt enjoys my company,"

"Night, you're putting Billie second when you're his first,"

"I'm not- Billies always gonna remain my number one boy and he knows that-"

"-Really?" Tre asked flatly. "Because I don't think he recognizes that right now,"

Maybe somewhere along the line, I had taken Billies care for granted and knocked him after Matthew. I knew deep down he was still, as I said, my 'number one boy'. But right now I'm treating him as a second choice.

"But Billie always cares and Matthew doesn't. I'm merely trying to enjoy the times where Matthew does,"

Mike shook his head disapprovingly. That's how I knew I was just saying all the wrong things. "You lose Billie when you do that,"

"Do what?"

"Take him for granted,"

I looked down at the floor walking past them to avoid eye contact. Before I reached Billie's front door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow anyway,"

Billie Joe's P.O.V

After walking out of the room and hearing, but not figuring out the words, the muffling of the conversation between Nightlyn, Mike and Tre. The front door seemed to open and close before Mike and Tre had found their way back into the kitchen where I was.

I sat at the table in my kitchen, which was on the other end to the cupboards, etc, thinking.

A lot of the time, I did try to see things from other peoples perspectives. Whether it seemed like it or not. I did think about this through Nightlyn's perspective trying to think of myself as just another character and not me. Thinking that if I would have done that to a best friend.

I couldn't say I would. I thought about her side of things and it still didn't make sense to me. It was still as ignorant as a decision through her eyes as it was mine. It was an ignorant choice, there was no escaping the incomprehension of Mike's, Tre's and my feelings no matter whose perspective you looked at it through.

"Don't bother about it too much Bill," Tre dropped into another one of the seats at the table across from me casually propping his elbows on the table.

Mike agreed grabbing another chair before rotating it around and sitting on it backwards, his arms resting on the top of the back support of the chair as he looked over at me. Only one empty chair remaining which was usually Nights was left, since when the four of us sat around the table we preferred our specific places.

"I just think it's stupid- y'know? It's unbelievable,"

"The gig still goes on with Nightlyn or without," Mike shrugged.

"It's not about the gig Mike. I mean yeah, I'm bummed she won't be there tonight. But the fact that she could be there and instead she's with him,"

"Maybe you should find your own person too Beej," Tre suggested, with a soft toned voice. "Mike and I can help you,"

"But I'm not interested in looking for anyone,"

For as long as I could remember, there had been this underlying admiration for the girl I grew up beside.

I use to like the way her hair'd swing side to side in the ponytail she'd wear when she walked down the halls of elementary school carrying her books. Or the special pencils she had. Engraved with her name Nightlyn Jackson down each one. She'd always been able to take control of a situation. She was a natural born leader.

My mom could never get enough of her. She knew Night since being a kid. I think even my mom was hoping I'd end up with her as much as I've been. My mom would say she had a lion heart coated with sugar. Although she was sweet and caring, she didn't fucking kid around and that was for sure.

You learnt that the hard way or the Nightlyn Jackson engraved down pencils way. And I learnt it both times all too many.

Mike sighed. "You can't wait around for Nightlyn forever Bill,"

"It's not forever. It's just for a little while longer,"

"Billie Joe she's got a boyfriend." Tre reminded. "You can't wait around any longer with that. You have to find yourself, someone,"

"But-"

"-We know you like her Billie. It's not as easy as it sounds we know. But if you keep waiting around the extra bit longer you're gonna be following her like a stray puppy forever,"

As harsh as it felt. Tre was right.

Having overwhelming feelings for your best friend was never going to be easy. If it was up to me, I wouldn't even feel this way. Most of the time I was independent. I made independent choices, despite consequences. But with Nightlyn I was always leaning on her. I cared most what she thought and like Tre had said, I was straying along behind her like a loose thread on her jacket.

When you like someone so stupidly much, sometimes you don't even realise you seem to depend on them this much.

Was that bad?

"Do you guys think I depend on Nightlyn?" I asked after a moment of thinking to myself.

Mike and Tre looked at each other first before me. "Well..." Mike spoke up first. "Maybe just a bit,"

"But that's not a bad thing," Tre added swiftly. Mike nodded fast in agreement.

"Yeah, it's nothing bad. I mean- every persons got someone else they'd let their guard down for. There's nothing wrong with leaning on her, just means you trust her,"

"Does she lean on me back?"

Mike nodded again. "Course she does,"

"Are you sure?"

"She's always been dependent on you. She has been since I've known you guys,"

"If she wasn't leaning on you back," Tre added. "You'd both fall. Its healthy balance,"

~

Nightlyn's P.O.V

I didn't and never have, nor planned on, understand this game. It confused me greatly. I watched his team and the opponents play from the bleachers where the rest of the people sat around to watch.

There were loads of familiar faces from school here to watch. I recognised way more people than I ever would have in Gilman. Which, if I have to add, is a bad thing.

Often I looked around, figuring out who was also cheering for the same team as me to know when and when not I was supposed to cheer.

The game seemed to drag. They played matches and matches, it felt like nails on a chalkboard. Completely sitting confused with the guilt of how Billie was on playing right now. At least I knew when I was cheering there. Maybe I should have gone to see him after all.

The games started around seven thirty pm, middle of July as to why they were playing so late it being still sunny. Around nine the guilt burned higher knowing this was the time when Billies band usually played. Half nine, the floodlights came on and ten was when the games finally drew to an end.

His team had won thanks to the number of incomplete passes and fouls from the other team. So as everyone began to get up I wore a smile ready to congratulate making my way down and off the bleachers.

He found me in the crowd of people, equally sweaty but yet happy.

"Congrats!" I shouted running over to him.

His arms absorbed me into a hug. "Thanks- I mean it was close around the first quarter but-"

"-But you won!" I smiled pulling away so I could see him.

His brown hair had been repetitively pushed back, slight bags that began to appear from under his eyes. He flashed his straight aligned teeth at me. "Glad you could be here to see it,"

I smiled back. "Me too," I lied.

I unwrapped myself from around him as we unhugged, he kept an arm around my shoulder as we began to walk through the pathway of the bleachers along with everyone else who was leaving. The few people still talking on the field.

"So how did Billie take it when you spoke to him?" He asked me.

The floodlights didn't reach as far as we were walking, so I began to realise how it was beginning to get darker.

I shrugged my shoulders under his arms. "He understood," I lied.

Billie Joe's P.O.V

The sound of the guitar echoed through the building before fading, having finished the last song of the night the mini crowd of Gilman gave Mike, Tre and I a cheer.

We had thanked everyone briefly before I unplugged my guitar and the three of us made our way off the stage.

We walked around down the hallway to the back rooms, walking into ours where we had left all our stuff.

The room wasn't exactly large, so a lot of our things may have been piled up in the corner of the room. There was a three seated sofa over by the other side of the room, a classic oak wooden table in front of it, a few advertisement posters on the tainted white walls, across the room was a long desk with a mirror wall in front and a single chair for a seat and of course our pile of junk.

Mike fell back onto the sofa with a deep breath of exhaustion. I felt the fizz of adrenaline still running through my bloodline. The feeling of playing on stage gave me a feeling of electricity which lasted even after putting the guitar down.

I shook my hands like I was trying to flick water off them, still feeling hyper and bouncy. "I think we did well,"

"We did more than well," Mike assured.

Tre sat himself beside Mike agreeing. "We always kill it,"

Before I could think of anything more to add, there was a knock on the room's door.

I looked over at Tre and Mike who looked over at me.

"Go on then dude, answer it," Tre told me.

I scrunched my face up. "What? No! It's your guys' girlfriends,"

"Technically she's not my girlfriend right now," Mike corrected.

Tre rolled his eyes in defeat, pushing himself up off the couch and making his way over to the door. Once opening it to see it was in fact their girlfriends. Just two.

"Sorry no fans," Tre told them, shutting the door in their faces.

Mike grunted getting back up and opening the door for them as Tre walked away laughing, I had to contain a snigger too.

"So what did you think?" Mike asked Sage nervously as the two girls walked in.

"You guys were so awesome!"

"Really?!"

"You say really like we weren't just talking about how good we were," Tre outed as Luella walked over to him.

"Well, yeah really. You were absolutely good- I mean you all were," She continued.

Tre and I thanked her as I awkwardly slipped into the chair in front of the mirror. Feeling pretty much like a fifth wheel in this situation. Maybe Mike and Tre were right, I needed someone for when Nightlyn wasn't nearby. Or maybe I merely needed someone in general.

I pulled my phone out to see the text my phone received precisely eight minutes ago. From Nightlyn.

Nightlyn:
Just know you guys did awesome, sorry I wasn't there Beej

I sighed deciding whether to text back or not. I wanted to ignore it, but I'd feel too guilty.

Me:
Wait for me on your doorstep when I get back?

Nightlyn:
I'll be there

After waiting for Tre and Mike to also be done with their conversations and ready to make our way out of here, with blue safely in her bag we left Gilman through its back doors. That way we wouldn't have to attempt to squeeze through the crowd of people who were still here for the rest of the bands.

We climbed into Mikes truck which we had taken here, Sage sat in the passenger seat since Mike had made it rather clear that seat wasn't available. So I sat at the back once more being the odd wheel with Lou and Tre. Or to the whole conversation.

I didn't know if it was because I was still irritated that Nightlyn didn't come tonight that I was purposely excluding myself out of their conversations to feel bad for myself, or if I really was just being a huge fifth wheel on the car here and didn't have much to add to what they were saying. Either way, I was pretty quiet on the drive back home.

Mike parked outside my house, where I could already make out Nightlyn's figure sat on her doorstep in front of her door, her face was lit up as she looked down at her phone screen. I thanked Mike for the ride before hopping out and closing the car door when it grabbed her attention and she looked away from her phone.

"How'd you do?" She asked me standing up, as Mike and the rest began to drive away down our street.

I crossed the road over to her side making my way over with a casual shrug, trying not to seem angry or forgetful of the situation. "Like always,"

"So great?"

I tightened my lips trying to stop the smile. "Maybe," I managed to mumble.

I walked over to where she stood next to her front doorstep. The both of us sitting back down on it.

Nightlyn's P.O.V

"Y'know, I am really sorry I didn't make it to the gig tonight. Mike and Tre said some pretty truthful things, and I realised that maybe lately I've been taking you for granted. Because you always gave me the security of feeling wanted but with Matthew I've been aggressively fighting for it,"

His shoulder gently brushed mine as he willingly gave another worriless shrug. "Just a gig, no biggie they'll be plenty more,"

I looked over my shoulder and his. He wasn't looking at me though. He was just zoning off into the windless air in front. "It's not just a gig Billie, it's your gig. And I should have been there,"

Thereby heart was a sense of hesitation in him to look over at me. But after a few seconds, he traditionally did. "Well... maybe," He whispered gently. "But everything happens for a reason I guess,"

"So what reason was it?"

He looked away and over the road to his house. I looked over too, every room light seemed to be off. Including the living rooms at the front of his house. Maybe Ollie was working or had gone to sleep.

"I don't know yet," He whispered.

He sounded genuinely tired. But not in the way where he lacked sleep or rest. He was lacking of something else. He looked drained of all of his emotions today. His, what were normally expressive, eyes just lifelessly staring over our street, not moving or flickering much. He seemed jaded, beaten down.

"Are you okay?"

He looked back at me and blinked a few times. Before his mind processed my question. "Yeah... yeah,"

But he'd never admit it. Not until his breaking point.