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Chapter Four

"But I need to go!" I whined looking back out the car window. "Can't you just pull by the next gas station?"

"You're gonna go in a gas station bathroom?" Billie asked me slightly grossed out, glancing over at me for a second away from the road.

"Well, I need to go somewhere,"

I felt a hand on the back of my seat, looking over as Tre pulled himself slightly in the gap between mine and Billies seat. "Y'know Beej, it wouldn't be a bad idea to stop at the gas station. I'm kinda hungry,"

"I kinda don't care Tre," Billie replied bluntly.

"Now that you mention it, I'm kinda starving myself here too," Mike agreed.

"We aren't stopping at any gas station and that's final!"

Tre huffed letting go of the seats as I watched him slump back in the back car seats in the view mirror. Crossing his arms before he mumbled to me. "Hey NJ,"

"Yes Tre,"

"Just piss on the seat,"

Billie flinched angrily. "You're not pissing in my car!"

"I wasn't going to!" I shouted.

He let out a long sigh, before accepting his defeat whilst I squirmed around in the car seat hoping my bladder wouldn't burst. "Alright. The next gas stations in two miles, I'll pull up there,"

Mike, Tre and I cheered in a small victory, sharing high fives before the car was pulled off the motorway.

Billie parked his car in the small parking lot of a dinky gas station. The lights under its canopy were automatically turned on. The day was in its transition of dragging into night, with the sun disappearing leaving an orange sky.

We'd been driving all day for hours on the road. On a 'trip' for Mike to buy some new Bass guitar he claimed to have fallen in love with of an advertisement he found on the walls of Gilman. Billies interest also picking at new equipment. Mike scrapped up the rest of his money together, since Mike and Billie were and always have been more of savers than spenders. Unlike Tre and I. We picked up the bass and Billies new equipment and began to make our long trip all the way back to Rodeo.

Mike had driven Billie's car up here, but once picking the bass up and after a long argument Billie was agreed to drive us back. Being that I didn't actually know how to work a vehicle and Tre's excuse was he 'didn't have his licence on him'. Which was fair since whenever Tre did drive, we were often pulled over.

Once parking I tumbled out the car desperately. Not waiting for the rest as I speeded over to the gas station separate building, kicking the door open as the lights automatically flickered on.

The gas station, like expected, was terrifyingly unhygienic. The walls of the small confined space had been graffitied with spray paints of all colours and markers. Images of immaturely funny things, names, quotes, doodles, symbols.

I took another long look, considering if I really needed the toilet that bad. The very sad reality at this moment in time was that I was desperate.

I kept myself distracted from the cleanliness of the bathroom reading the writing on the walls. Such things as trashy nicknames or overly detailed stencils. I even found myself after pissing still reading a few.

'Vera + Justin', 'Ryan was here,'  but then there were more contrasted ones such like. 'Society sucks', 'Fuck the law', 'Against all authorities', 'The only thing you can be sure of is you can be sure of nothing', 'Second boys will be-'

-"Are you done in there NJ?" I heard Tre knock heavily down on the door as I flinched. I breathed out realising before forgetting what I was reading opening the door up.

"Sorry, I was looking at graffiti, did you get food from the gas station store?"

"Sure did," He smiled, lifting a large bar of chocolate.

"Nice." I nodded approvingly as Tre and I walked away from the god awful bathrooms. "Where's Beej and Mike?"

"Billies talking to some girl he found in the store, Mike grabbed his food and headed back to the car,"

"Billies talking to a girl?" I asked intrigued. Tre nodded with the same sense of excitement.

"Yeah, here wait-" Tre grabbed my arm without a warning, pulling me over to the Gas stations store. He let go as he brought me to the front of it as we looked through its windows.

I spotted Billie and his mop of bleach blond hair automatically. He stood before the cashier point in conversation to a girl.

She angled with her back facing Tre and I. The only part of her I could really see was her natural blonde coloured hair, reaching the bottom of her back. She wore a violet coloured pencil skirt, a small cream coloured t shirt, pure white trainer's. Gosh- I wish I could wear trainer's that white. I'd stain them in a matter of seconds.

Billies eyes flickered slightly away from the girls face as they noticed Tre and I. He panicked for a few seconds looking back and forth at her and us. Before mouthing 'Go away'. Then panicking as he spoke back to the girl, she must've caught on to his not so slick mouthing.

She spun her head as her hair swooshed around, landing over her shoulder.

She looked gorgeous. Wait a go, Billie Joe.

"Well, we best go introduce ourselves," I shrugged to Tre.

"It's only polite of us," He agreed.

We made our way into the store walking over to Billie and his new found soon to be girlfriend. "Hey Beej, who you talking to?" I asked teasingly, nudging Billies arm.

I heard him grunt before the girl spoke up. "Is this your girlfriend?" She asked. But don't misunderstand it, there wasn't a hint of negativity in her voice.

"Oh no- no Billies not mine," I quickly told her. "I'm Nightlyn by the way,"

"And I'm Tre," Tre joined in.

Billie let out another sigh as the girl turned towards us. "Oh- I'm Nova," Her lips were the shade of peach as she pulled them into a friendly smile. Her eyes seemed to contrast her introduction, seeming blue and cold.

But I liked her, a protentional new friend. If Billie likes her, I like her. Even if things aren't vice versa with Billie and Matthew.

"Very nice to meet you, Nova," I replied.

Tre sniggered slightly. "I think Billie can say the same,"

"Sorry about them," Billie spoke up apologising to Nova for our behaviour. "They're just both like wind up monkeys,"

I perused my lips nodding. "Thanks, Bill,"

"Yeah, we're still here y'know,"

"Oh no don't worry about it," Nova laughed slightly. "I like your friends, they seem fun,"

"See! Here that Billie- we're fun," Tre taunted.

Billie gave him an eye roll. "Go wait in the car, I'll be a minute,"

"It was nice meeting you Nova," I grinned over to her. "Hopefully I'll see you again,"

"Of course, it was so nice to meet you both too,"

Tre and I left Billie to finish up his conversation in the gas stations store as we walked back over to Billie's car where Mike had been inside waiting for the rest of us.

"She's different to the others," I mumbled over to Tre as we walked around somebody's badly parked car.

"You're right, she's nice,"

"Nothing like Billie's type at all,"

"Nope,"

Tre opened the car door to the back seats climbing in beside Mike, who looked at Tre and I confusedly.

I shut the car door reaching for my seat belt.

"How long does it take to piss?" Mike asked me leaning beside the passenger chair from the back.

"I was saying hi to Billie's girlfriend actually,"

"Bullshit. Billie doesn't have a girlfriend,"

"Will soon," Tre joined in.

Mike slowly sat back in his chair as I manoeuvred in my seat to see them both in the back. Mike looked over at Tre not understanding as Tre put his seat belt over himself, clicking it in. "What are you guys on about?"

"Billies talking to this girl in the store," Tre explained quickly.

"Her names Nova, she seems really sweet,"

Mike pulled a face. "Sweet?"

"I know,"

Another car door opened as I quickly faced back to the front of the car, realising Billie had climbed back in. Tre, Mike and I stayed silent waiting for him to tell us all about this girl, but he didn't catch on. Billie pulled his seat belt over himself clicking the metal tongue in before noticing that our eyes were on him. "What?"

"So... this girl," Tre spoke up.

Billie rolled his eyes looking away from the back seat, ignoring Tre's question as he started the car.

"Oh c'mon Beej, tell us!" I laughed nudging his arm.

"Night- I'm tryna start the car!"

"He's just annoyed because we ruined his conversation with his girlfriend," Tre whispered to Mike.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Sounds to me like Billie Joe's embarrassed, isn't that right Billie boy," Tre spoke reaching his arm over Billies seat and messing his hair up.

Billie paused from trying to start up the car spinning around whacking Tre's arms. "Piss off man!"

"Tell us about her!" Mike interrupted.

"There's nothing to tell! Why do we have to talk about what I did?"

"Because you met a girl? All I did was sit in the car and wait for Tre, you and NJ,"

I shrugged. "All I did was piss in a gas stations bathroom,"

The car started to move as we carefully made it back onto the road, continuing with our journey back home. Billie was teased the whole way back about Nova by the three of us. But we did manage to find out she had given him her number and, even if he didn't admit it quite yet, he was pretty stoked to get back home and give her a call.

Mostly why he was so speedy down empty lanes. Quite terrifying when he's speeding not looking at the road and suddenly you're being blinded by headlights and his only response is 'Woah! Bright lights' and dangerously swerve the car out the other cars way. Almost as scary as Tre's driving.

When reaching back to Rodeo, Billie and I dropped off Tre and Mike around Ten back at their places, Billie parked the car on his side of the road as he turned on the car light looking over at me. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow NJ," He grinned, ready to climb out.

I grabbed his arm pulling him back to his seat. "Woah woah woah, wait there a second Beej,"

He looked over confused. "What?"

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Well... let me look Nightlyn," He sarcastically said, turning and looking out the window at his house. "Ooh! Home?"

"Thanks for the sarcasm Armstrong,"

"Welcome Jackson," He smiled, attempting to leave me in the car for a second time.

I grabbed his arm again. "Hey hey hey!"

"What? Is there something you want?" He asked me confused.

"Well... yeah? Y'know, we always sit and talk in the car when you park after going anywhere in it,"

"Course but... the number..."

"You wanna call her now?"

"Well... yeah,"

I guess although this was only a tiny taste of what I had been feeding Billie, of what it felt like to be pushed to a second priority, it sucked. But life was life. So I let out a long sigh realising I wasn't really anyone to get annoyed about that. "Okay," I finally nodded.

"Alright? Awesome," He got up opening the car door excitedly as I stayed in the seat a few seconds after.

Maybe he was trying to show me what it felt like when your feelings are disregarded. It was something little, but Billies and my car conversations were one of the funniest things bout car rides. We'd end up sitting in the car at night for hours, sometimes when we reached back home late we could talk till sunrise. But, that obviously wasn't today.

I heard Billie let out a breath in the air outside the car, the side door still open.

"Sorry Billie, I'll get out now," I apologised, undoing my seat belt as I reached for the car door.

"No- no... that's alright," He sighed, climbing back into the driver's seat.

"What?" I looked over at him confused as he shut the car door. "What... are you-?"

"-What do you wanna talk about?"

I paused. Looking over at his smile that slowly shrunk, "But Beej, what about your girlf-"

"-Not. She's not my girlfriend,"

"Right, yeah. Alright well... what about Nova?"

He shrugged casually. "Eh, it'll still be her number later on,"

I think the thing was, how I realised Billie just couldn't put me second. Even in little things like talking to me or a girl he just met. But I could, and had.

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks Beej, it means a lot you'd wanna stay and talk,"

"Course I do-"

"-But... you should go and call that number,"

He scrunched his eyebrows up. "Huh? I thought you wanted to stay in the car and chat?"

"Course I do, y'know? But there's someone else that is probably waiting to chat with you. And I know you wanna be chatting with her too right now,"

"Pha? Whaaat? Course not- no, no I wanna stay and talk to you,"

"Billie Joe,"

"Yeah?"

I let out a laugh. "Just go call her,"

His lips broke into a goofy smile before he began to get giddy. "Man your the best," He beamed, before leaning over quickly leaving a kiss on my cheek. Then nearly falling out of the car as he opened its door. I couldn't help but grin getting out the vehicle myself and shutting it as he clicked the button on his car keys, then running excitedly up his front garden and disappearing through the front door.

~

Feeling like a nervous wreck, I sat up in bed gasping slightly for air.

I caught my breath, pushing the covers off myself feeling too hot. I was covered in sweat.

"What the fuck," I mumbled to myself, pulling the sleeves of my shirt off my arms, but they stuck. "Gross,"

I looked around the room, reflecting on the dream I experienced.

I dreamt that Billie and I were hanging out, just normally. Then suddenly we broke out into this argument, but that wasn't how it ended. There was one part about the dream that was replaying in my mind.

The crazy thing was, I actually dreamed that I kissed him.

I. Me. I kissed Billie Joe.

My best friend.

That mid way through our argument, I just- I kissed him. And the crazier thing was that he kissed me back. But, the craziest thing was, that it felt so real. It was like I still had that tingling sensation on my lips, and it was fading by the second.

But as much as much as the dream left me in a pool of my own sweat and gasping for air, I didn't hate it. It wasn't a nightmare. Actually... it was a nice dream, so much that I couldn't stop thinking back on it.

Normally the longer I sit awake and think back on my dreams, the more they begin to lose their meaning and things start to not compute. But this dream was fresh in my mind and vivid as it could have been.

I looked over at the framed photo over on my desk, the one beside another one of me, Mike, Tre and Billie. But I focused on the photo of just him and I.

Dragging myself up, I swung my legs off off the bed as I made content with the floor. I walked over to the framed photo picking it up and staring at it.

The photo was from a few summers ago, taken by Tre unexpectedly as he messed around with his new camera, Billie and I were sat on the grass. You could see the sun clearly in his eyes as he was squinting when looking over at me. But I was looking at the camera, well Tre behind it, laughing slightly in an embarrassment of having the lens on Billie and I.

There was definitely something in the way Billie was looking over at me, maybe I was telling an interesting story or a joke. Had he always looked at me like that?

But the way I was looking right now at the photo of him, the way his hair just naturally shagged in his eyesight. Or how he was looking over at me with a look of interest in his eyes, even just the way he was dressed or sat on the grass. I admired it. "Did I just fall for you... over a fucking dream?"

I changed my clothes before dragging the desk chair to the window opening it. California was still met with night, four in the morning to be exact.  So what do you do when you think you have accidentally fallen for your best friend since first grade? Make aeroplanes and shoot them out the window.

'There's no way I've actually fallen for him,' I thought in denial. 'It's only because the dreams still fresh.'

I shot another paper plane out the window, aiming across the street for Billie also open window. After a few missed attempts, this not being the first time sending paper planes through his windows for fun, it managed to only just fly in scrapped the top of his window frame.

I did a mini celebration before Billie walked over to his window with the poorly crafted paper plane in his hand. "I think this is yours," He laughed slightly, leaning his elbows on the window frame as his arms hung out.

"That could be anyone's," I shrugged with a grin.

He looked down on the street, the dozen other failed attempts down on the floor. On gardens, mine and his, the sidewalk, the road. "So whose are-"

"-Those aren't mine,"

He let out a chuckle before he sent the one in his hand down to land on the street with the rest. Then disappearing away from his window. I stayed in front of mine confused before I saw him walk out his front door.

"Well, aren't you gonna help me pick these up?" He shouted up to me.

"Oh- right- one sec,"

I ran down the stairs, pulling my converse and coat on before walking out the front door.

On the way down the front garden, I picked up the few that had landed on the grass, before making my way to pick up the ones on the road.

As much of a cliché coincidence, it was, as my hand reached out to pick the last of paper planes it bumped into Billie's hand.

I laughed slightly taking my hand away standing up straight as I looked over at him.

He looked over at me, with that look. The look that looked like I was telling him the most greatest story he had ever heard, or that I had the answers to everything he had ever wanted to know. The look that made it seem like I was saying something significant to his life to him, at least that's what it looked like.

And looking at him, I think it was safe to admit, maybe I had just fallen in love with Billie at four in the morning because of a dream.

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