July tenth: the month had officially obtained double digit status. This seemed fortuitous to Suzi,like with the advancement in date might also come an enhanced selection of dates.

A cosplayer sitting in the corner booth of a moderately priced Italian restaurant was not what Suzi had had in mind.

Smoothing the hem of her floral swing rockabilly skirt as she took a seat in the booth opposite him, Suzi kept her tongue pressed against the back of her front teeth in order to resist cringing. She wanted to believe this was some sort of a mistake—maybe her real date was the guy with the sexy five o'clock shadow and a crow tattoo on his bicep eyeing her from the bar.

No such luck. Her date had told her he'd be wearing a magenta carnation attached to his bandolier and there it was in all its purplish red glory. In retrospect, the phrase "carnation attached to my bandolier" should have raised a red flag, but Suzi figured it was some new hipster fashion trend she was too uncool to know about. Strange that he'd chosen that feature to distinguish himself from other men rather than the fact that he was wearing a full-on Wookiee costume.

"So..." she tapped her fingertips against the table. "Are you Chad? If you only speak in Wookiee, I'm afraid that's going to be a deal breaker."

"Wookiee is actually comprised of three different languages."

She raised an eyebrow.

"But no, obviously I speak English." His voice echoed inside the Wookiee head.

"Fabulous."

A waiter came to take their drink order before she had a chance to ask Chad if she was hallucinating.

She ordered a vodka martini because clearly alcohol was in order. Chad said he'd stick with water. "I probably won't even drink that," He admitted. "If I have to pee, it's, well... I might be in the bathroom for a while."

The waiter raised an eyebrow. Suzi raised her question.

"I have to say, this..." she motioned to his costume, "This is super unexpected. What's going on here?"

"I'd love to hear the answer to that, but I think I better get that martini started for you." The waiter winked at her before heading towards the bar.

Chad tilted his head to the side. "I was going to ask you the same question. I mean, you look nice—really nice! But, why aren't you dressed as Padme Amidala?"

"Padme? Hell no, I'm more of an Ashoka girl myself." She leaned forward, squinting to make out his real, presumably human eyes set back behind the Wookiee façade. "But that didn't answer my question. This is supposed to be a regular date, not a cosplay date."

"You said in our texts that you'd take Chewbacca over most human males."

"That was meant as a joke. And unless you're having a psychotic break, you realize that you are, in fact, a human male and not a Wookiee."

"Of course." He took out his phone and began scrolling. "But you followed that text up by saying you always fantasized that you were Queen Amidala."

"Fantasy being the optimal word. Also, I was, like, ten when I last dreamed of ruling a planet."

"Okay, well after that, you said 'wouldn't it be fun if we didn't have to be us for a night? Let's dress up! I'll be Queen of Naboo, you'll be a furry alien. Everyone will stare at us and we'll laugh at them laughing at us."

"Did I drunk text you? Or maybe someone else wrote you that mess. Because I have no memory of saying any of that."

"Nope, it was you. Check your texts."

"Already on it," she said as she rummaged through her purse. "Here we go... contact: Chad. Meet at Moretti's at eight o'clock, yep I remember that text. Red carnation, check. Does the tenth work? Yep, got that. Scrolling up further... A bunch of food emoji. Then... oh my God."

He read from his phone. "I haven't worn it since Comic-Con 2015 but I'm sure it will still fit.' And you answered, 'can't wait! I'll over-night my Shiraya fan headpiece.'"

She gripped her phone, realization dawning. "You've been had, Chad. We both have. I didn't write this."

"Well, who did then?"

"Either Amy or Taren. They must have thought it would be hilarious."

"It's not."

"To them it would be. You know what? It's not Taren. He wouldn't know Queen Amidala from Princess Leia much less what a Shiraya fan headpiece is."

"Shame!"

"I know, right? No, this furry meets Italian bistro fiasco has Amy written all over it. She's the only one in my circle who knows more about Star Wars than I do. And that's saying something. Hold on." She fiddled with her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Texting Amy. 'I'm going to kill you!'" She added an angry face emoji and sent the text. "Anyways, who did this doesn't matter so much as that they did it to thwart me. Oh, she texted back already. 'lolololol.' Well, that confirms it. Amy's our culprit."

"Wait, hold on. Thwart you? What does that even mean? Who are these people?"

"They're my friends. And sort of the reason I'm here at all. I don't know, maybe thwart is the wrong word. More like dare me to do something crazy and then do what they can to make it even crazier so that I'll give up and they'll win." She set her phone down. "Okay, thwart seems right on the nose."

"You think this is crazy?" He pointed to his furry chest.

"Don't you? You can take off the mask, you know."

Chad didn't move.

"No? You don't want to? Look, Chad, don't be embarrassed. This was a total dick move on Amy's part, I admit. And Taren's not much better, to tell the truth. But my friends aren't bad people, they just don't always pay attention to the impact of their intentions."

"Did they intend to humiliate me?"

"No, they intended to humiliate me. I'm afraid you were just caught in the crossfire."

"Yeah, well, the thing is... I like wearing this."

"Seriously? You just said you haven't worn it since 2015."

"I haven't. But I've wanted to. I remember how it made me feel, and that's how I feel again now, like it's keeping me protected from the world."

Suzi nodded. Here was the defining moment when date morphed into therapy session. "What do you feel you have to be protected from?"

"I don't know. Rejection, maybe? No, not maybe. Definitely. I'm definitely afraid of rejection." He adjusted his bandolier where it had begun to slip on his shoulder. "Damn. I've never said that out loud before."

The waiter returned with Suzi's drink and then took their order. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something to Chad, then thought better of it. "I'll be back with your breadsticks."

Suzi gave Chad as reassuring a smile as she could muster. "It feels good to be honest with yourself, doesn't it?"

He leaned back, like he was about to take in a show at the Mos Eisley Cantina. "Yes. Yes, it does. Thanks, Suzi."

"Don't thank me yet. The therapy session's not over."

"The what?"

"You feel shielded from rejection by a thick layer of synthetic fur, because for some reason that probably has to do with your childhood and your father's unrelenting disapproval, it's too painful to be yourself. But come on, do you really believe you're going to experience less rejection dressed as Chewbacca than as yourself?"

"Everyone loves Chewie." He gazed downward. "Not everyone loves Chad."

"No one will love Chad if you don't give them the chance to get to know Chad. Also, there may be a kink for people who are into fucking Wookiees. I don't know, I'm never going to Google Wookiee porn to find out, so let me make sure I'm clear: it's not my kink. You want to come back dressed as Han Solo—then we'll talk."

"Maybe if I just keep wearing it a little longer?"

"Can you eat with it on?"

"Not easily."

"Then I suggest you take it off when the bread sticks arrive. Until then, Wookiee away."

"Right. One more minute of Wookiee." He cleared his throat. "This is just a normal date."

"So, so normal."

"Tell me about yourself. About school. Your profile said you graduated with a degree in English Literature."

"I did," she said. "Still searching for my dream job literaturing English. What about you?"

"Computer science. I've been working for a marketing research company since I graduated three years ago."

"Does your company need anyone to do a critical analysis of Ethan Frome? Or how about a thesis paper about early twentieth century gender norms and how they're challenged in the works of Charlotte Perkins Gilman and Virginia Woolf."

"Um, I basically just manage their software applications... but I can ask."

"No, just—never mind. If you ever hear that they need a temp to fill in at the office, though, hit me up okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Oh, look at that. Here come the bread sticks."

Their waiter side eyed Chad as he placed a wicker basket on the table. "I've been dying to say something since you arrived, but I didn't want to seem rude. Then I thought, I'll just ask. It's not rude if I ask first. Can I make an asinine but potentially hilarious comment, please?"

Chad shrugged. "Go for it."

The waiter cleared his throat. "Here goes. I'm sorry, but we don't allow pets in the restaurant, unless..." He turned to Suzi. "Is he a service animal, miss?"

"He's an emotional support Wookiee."

"Does he have papers to prove it?"

"He doesn't need papers. Every time I look at him, I feel like laughing, which seems very emotionally supportive to me. Admit it, he has the same effect on you."

"The customer is always right, isn't she?"

"She is," Suzi agreed. "Wookiee Chad can get into restaurants and public buildings and onto airplanes."

"I don't think they'd allow him onto a plane. He might be hiding a crossbow."

"How in the hell would you hide a crossbow?"

Chad raised his fuzzy arms and made a grunting noise that sounded nothing like Chewbacca. "Please stop talking over me. I'm not an emotional support pet. Or a pet at all."

The waiter frowned. "Wasn't Chewie Han Solo's pet?"

"No!" Chad pounded his fists down onto the table. "Chewbacca was a sentient being and a hell of a pilot who acted freely of his own accord. Han Solo was his friend. His best friend. My God, the ignorance."

"I'm not going to get a good tip from you, am I?"

Suzi patted the waiter's hand. "He's sensitive. But he's also right. Chewie was pet to no one. I forgot to ask you, can you put my salad dressing on the side please?"

"I'll let the kitchen know." He turned on his heel, heading to the back of the restaurant.

"Okay, the bread sticks have arrived. Time for Chewie to reveal his true Chad."

"I guess it is." He began to tug at the mask, but then hesitated with his hands closed around its rim. "What if you don't like the true Chad?"

"Why should that matter? I don't like lots of people. Those people go about living their lives entirely unaffected by that fact."

"Yeah, but those people don't care what you think about them."

"Neither should you. But since you seem to, then maybe care about the fact that, no matter who the real Chad is, I'd prefer meeting him to seeing you try to slurp pasta in through Chewie's pie hole." She wrinkled her nose. "Also, you smell like mothballs."

"All right then, here goes." After a bit of tugging, Chewie's head came off to reveal the head of Chad.

Suzi gasped. "Admiral Ackbar? I though you died!"

Chad frowned. "I... what now?" He held his hand up to his face, wincing when he touched it.

Suzi laughed. "Relax, you're a human male, just like I said you would be. Hopefully you're not surprised to discover that fact. But damn, son, you're as red as a lobster. You ever hear of sunblock?"

"I was out on my friend's boat today. Is it bad?"

It was bad. Like, not going to be able to sleep tonight because your skin had been doused in Hell's new line of BBQ sauce bad. "Nah, it just looks a smidge irritated. Also, you're sweating. Profusely."

"It was really hot in that costume."

"See, isn't this better than sweltering and eventually collapsing from heat stroke face first into your spaghetti puttanesca?"

"I guess. I mean, obviously, yes." He frowned. "You don't mind the sun burn?"

"Why should I? You on the other hand, should mind it enough to wear a wide-brimmed hat the next time you expose yourself to solar radiation."

The corners of his lips turned upwards into a crooked, sincere smile that made her insides soften a bit. After applying a few bottles of aloe vera, and possibly undergoing a skin graft, she might even consider him cute. Just... not her kind of cute.

He read her expression. "You're looking at me the way Leia looked at Luke after she'd found out they were related."

"Mmm-hmm."

"We're not going to hit it off, are we?"

"I feel like my role in your life isn't one of swept-off-my-feet romance." She patted his still wookieefied wrist. "I'm sorry, but it's important to be honest. Even without the Chewie costume and the extreme sun burn, I'm not feeling it."

"Well, in the interest of honesty, I think next time I want to date someone who really will come dressed as Queen Amidala."

She leaned in. "Think of it this way: this is the beginning of a friendship, not the end of a failed date. And guess what—I'm not opposed to some Star Wars cosplay, given the right venue. But while I'm no Amidala, I know who is." She grabbed her phone again.

"What are you doing?"

"Ordering a Padme costume."

"But you just said you wouldn't dress up as her."

"Oh, it's not for me. It's for your date to this year's Comic-Con."

"I've never had a date to Comic-Con."

"No? Well then, how would you feel about your current date setting you up on a future date with the person who made this date super uncomfortable?"

"Does she like Chewbacca?"

"Adores him." She found a cheap knock-off version of the Queen costume in Amy's size and added it to her shopping cart. Given her unemployed status, it would have to do. Biting her lip, she gave Chad another once over. He would more than do.

This whole setup made sense now. Amy was a dreamer. She lived for fantasy. When she'd seen Suzi's texts with Chad, Amy couldn't help but insert herself into that conversation. The whole cosplay thing—that was Amy through and through. Suzi's nightmare date was Amy's way of trying to realize her own fantasy.

"Let's give your body a few days to grow a new layer of skin. Then I'll introduce you to your new Queen."

Author's Note: This one-shot is part of the 31 Blind Dates anthology from more than two dozen Wattpad writers including members of the Stars program, published authors, Ambassadors, and Wattys winners. If you want to start at the beginning, go to the profile of rskovach. You will find the next story in the collection on the profile of digitalchicktv. Just look for this sticker: