Yes, the title comes from the song from The Birdcage called I Am What I Am. It's such a good inspirational song, you know?

And it fits the situation perfectly.

This is kinda a big moment. One might say it's climactic...

Enjoy! :)

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Warning: transphobia

It's eleven days into September, which means it's been nearly two months since the strike started and around a week until the next meeting of the Cercle Hermaphroditos.

It also means that David is back in school and Jack is suffering from an aching heart.

So Race spends more time in Manhattan to keep Jack company. Jack doesn't like feeling like others are pitying him, but he's grateful for them wanting to spend time with him.

Luckily the star-crossed lovers aren't completely separated. They can still see each other.

"But it ain't the same," Jack laments. "How many days until summer?"

"Too many to count," everyone answers sympathetically.

Jack groans and tells himself that he can get through this.

Race, on the other hand, is counting down the days until something much, much sooner.

He can't wait to see the Cercle Hermaphroditos again.

He's been practicing what he's going to say. He pictures every scenario where he can make a transition into what he's going to say. He'll make sure everyone's impressed by him.

Especially Jennie June.

And Spot will be at his side.

That was never to be debated.

Spot will be there.

And Race hopes that Jack comes too. Ever since he told Jack every single detail that happened that night, he keeps checking on Jack to make sure that yes, he will come to the meeting with him.

"Why didn't Medda tell you about the place?" Race asks curiously.

Jack shrugs. "It didn't come up. I guess she just thought you might need it more."

Well that was on point. Race did need it.

But Medda talked to Spot about it. So maybe she saw that he was the one who needed it most.

Regardless, it's coming up soon.

Race goes to sell at Sheepshead that day, everything just fine.

He hears voices.

Not again.

The Delanceys.

But they're farther away.

And for once, don't sound like they're coming towards him.

Sure enough, Race looks around, and spots them in the distance. They're walking and talking, too absorbed to notice him.

Good.

He doesn't need anymore trouble from them.

So, as quickly and quietly as he can, he makes it out of their sight, and doesn't stop walking until he's safe inside Sheepshead.

Except when he gets to Sheepshead, he doesn't feel relief like he thought he would. True, he's relieved that they didn't try to fight him today. But...he also feels shame that he has to live in fear, and anger that they have this power of him without even trying.

They shouldn't get a say in who Race is. Only Race can decide that.

So why can't they just leave him alone?

That's it.

That's what Race should talk about at the meeting next week. Because that's something that everyone there can relate to: living in fear that someone will find out and bad things will happen.

Now I just need to figure out how to say it.

So he goes on selling newspapers and watching the races, but instead of really paying attention, he is instead plans on what he should say. He needs to make this good.

He wants to keep feeling like he's a part of something. He wants to bring something meaningful to the table too.

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A week comes and goes. 

It's time.

"Come on come on come on-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first ten times," Jack laughs as Race literally pulls him out the door of the lodging house, practically vibrating as he does so.

"But we're meeting Spot first! We can't be late-!"

"Race, I think everything is going to be fine. Calm yourself."

Race stops for a moment. He inhales and exhales. "Okay, let's go." He slams the door behind them and takes off running.

Not too long into walking, the pair comes across Spot, waiting under a street light.

Race grins. "Hey Spot! We're here!"

Spot smiles back when he sees them. "Yeah, I can see you're here!"

"Are you ready?" Race asks, grin growing.

Spot keeps smiling. "I've been ready for a good long while now. Can't wait."

The trio starts walking.

They don't get too far before they hear voices that they all learned to dread behind them.

"We got the whole set of freaks, don't we?"

They stop.

The Delanceys.

They can't lead them to the secret meeting place of the Cercle Hermaphroditos. They just can't.

No.

Race is tired of this.

Race is tired of all of this.

"You think we can't see through your lies? We know you aren't really boys."

How did they find out? How did they learn that all of them weren't born in the gender they wanted?

He feels Jack tense beside him. Spot clenches his fists.

Race can't let any of this slide anymore.

"You're right."

He surprises everyone. Even himself.

So he repeats what he said. "You're right." This time he continues. "We ain't lying." He looks at Jack. "We're improving the truth." He looks at Spot. "We're being who we really are."

They have no idea what he's doing, but they're too paralyzed from fear to do anything.

"But you're also wrong," Race continues. "Because we are real boys. Not real boys in the sense that you're used to, but we are, just the same. You see, we know that we are boys. The newsies know that we are really boys. The only problem is that you don't know that we are really boys. What's your problem? What did we ever do to you? Our existence hasn't affected your lives personally. We could have been born girls or boys and that wouldn't have affected anything about your lives at all. So what does it matter what we were born as? What does it matter what we are? I ain't normal. But guess what? I don't want to be normal. If being normal meant that I might bear some resemblence to either of you, then count me out. I am what I am. And I am proud of that. And you see, that is something that you will never understand. We are different. And we deserve the basic rights to exist, just like everyone else."

He's finally done speaking.

Spot and Jack stare at him, dumbfounded, insanely proud, and totally unsure of what's going to happen next.

Oscar's lip curls in a snarl. "Those are some pretty notable last words you got there."

Jack stands in front of Race. "Yeah, they were pretty notable. But they for sure won't be his last." 

"You know that all three of us can fight," Spot contributes. "It's three to two. That means we have the upper hand."

There's a moment of silence when absolutely no one makes a move.

Until a fight finally breaks out.

All fight furiously.

There's a lot of yelling and shouting and punching and everything else. It's not pretty.

"You don't threaten Race," Jack says as he grabs Oscar's shirt with his fist and punches him in the face. "You don't get to say things like that about him."

"Can he fight me himself?" Oscar sneers. "Or is he too scared to?"

That's when Race comes into their fray. "I ain't scared. Not of anyone like you, anyway." He punches Oscar in the face. "Like I told you, I am what I am. Nothing is ever going to change that. And I'll fight you until I get my message across." Then he looks pointedly at something else. "Oh yeah, you might want to take your brother out of here now before Spot finishes beating him up."

Race, Oscar, and Jack watch as Spot singlehandedly takes on Morris.

Race beams. That right there? That's the boy I love.

Yes, love. I love him. I'll have to tell him that when we get out of this mess.

In this moment, the Delanceys finally consider how this fight is going to go. There's Spot, who still is going off without mercy, and then there's Oscar, with both Jack and Race ready to strike at any moment.

"Scram!" Oscar shouts at Morris. "It's not worth it!"

Morris doesn't need to be told twice.

Oscar is still in Jack's grip. "Let me go, Cowboy."

Jack tightens his grip. "Not until you apologize."

"Never," Oscar spat.

"Fine by me, I guess I'll just have to teach you a lesson then." Race punches Oscar again in the face as hard as he can. Oscar shrieks from the pain. "We're not going to fear you ever again. You are going to have to fear us. Unless you stay out of our way, that is."

Finally, Jack lets go, and Oscar takes off after his brother.

"Goodbye! Hope we never meet again!" Race shouts after them. He turns back to Jack and Spot and grins. "Well, I think that takes care of that."

Before he can say anything more, they both hug him.

Race is surprised, but he cherishes the embrace all the same.

There they are, the three of them, hugging tightly.

"You did it, Race," Spot tells him. 

"You fought off the worst of the demons that we have," Jack adds. "And we both know we have a lot of those."

"Yeah I did, didn't I?" Race says out loud with wonder. "I did that."

He pulls away. "Now let's hurry into that meeting!"

They're the last ones to arrive, but Jennie hasn't started speaking yet, so that means that they're pretty much right on time.

Jack looks around in wonder at the place as Race pulls him around through it all as fast as he can.

Race may regret not giving Jack time to take it all in, but he couldn't been late.

They get settled in, and Spot talks to Roland Reeves, who is sitting next to them.

Not too much time later, Jennie starts. She welcomes them all. She continues speaking.

Race listens intently. At least, he tries to. He takes in as many words as he can, but his mind is still moving in every which direction. His thoughts are scattered.

He barely waits for Jennie to finish saying Does anyone have anything they would like to say? before he stands up. All eyes are on him now. Too late to turn back. His heart is racing a million miles a minute.

He prepared something to say.

Not only has he forgotten it all, he has something new he wants to say.

He's about to do the most serious improvising of his life.

Well, here goes nothing. 

Jennie smiles at him. "What would you like to say, Racetrack?"

She remembered my name.

He swallows.

He looks at Jack and Spot who are seated on either side of his now empty chair. They once again have no clue what he's doing, but they are supporting him nonetheless.

He takes a deep breath in.

And then he starts speaking.

"I just want to say before anything else, I am so grateful for everyone here. I'm glad that I was able to become a part of a group like this." Alright, time to get to what really matters. "On the way here tonight, me and my friends-" more like my brother and my lover, but same difference- "got harassed. You see, we've known these two guys for awhile, and have always given us trouble, but it increased when they found out about the truth about us. They-" he swallows. He doesn't want to get too much into the details of their fights. "They make it uncomfortable for us to walk down the street at ease. They are convinced that we shouldn't be in this world, that we shouldn't bother them like this, that we should just be normal, conforming to the roles that society set for us." He pauses. He knows he has all the attention. He shakes his head and keeps going. "But we aren't the ones bothering them. They bother us. We're the ones who just want to exist. I want to exist without people judging me from every which direction. I'm tired of everyone wanting me to be something I'm not. I am what I am. They don't get a say in that. It's up to me. And it's up to us all, really. They don't get to decide who we are. Only we do. And it's about time we do something about it."

And there it is. He's finally said it.

And now he realizes it. Being born in the wrong body hasn't made him weaker.

It's made him stronger.

He's had to fight harder for his place in the world, for his equal share. 

It's given him a perspective not many have. He doesn't get the chance of being one of those privileged folks who "want to help" but turn away at any sign of conflict or inequality. He can't do that. He has to fight harder, and he will keep fighting.

It's people like this, people like him, who are going to be the ones who will change the world.

So, for once in his life, Race has come to peace with the fact that he was a boy born in a girl's body, and that there is nothing wrong with that at all.

He's brought back to reality when he hears light clapping coming from Spot and Jack. As well as Roland beside Spot. And from Jennie June. And then, everyone else.

"Well said, Racetrack," she praises him, eyes shining. "You may be young, but you're wise beyond your years. I hope life gives you all the great things it has to offer."

Race sits down at last, heart racing. Both Spot and Jack squeeze his hand. They are so, so proud of him.

Jennie turns back to the rest of the group. "Discrimination is something all of us here know too well. We also know what it's like to have people claim we have no rights. Like Racetrack said, we are what we are. And we aren't going away. So here we'll all be, fighting for our rights, when people finally recognize us for who we are."

The meeting goes on. Race tries to concentrate. He really does. Some of it sticks, some of it doesn't.

He looks around.

He sees Roland, a guy like him. A guy that he knows Spot looks up to now.

He sees Jennie June, making the bold move even when all the odds are against her.

He sees Jack, who has been at his side forever.

He sees Spot, who he knows he loves with all his heart.

He sees a group of remarkable people who have come together to be the change they want to see in the world.

Then there's him.

Then there's Racetrack Higgins.

The boy who wasn't born a boy.

The boy who likes boys.

The boy who has a mind like no other.

The boy who is all these things, and more.

A boy who deserves the same rights as everyone else.

I am what I am.

Those words...are powerful.

He's powerful.

This isn't a nice world that he's living in.

He can change that. And he will.

Racetrack Higgins is going to be the one who will change the world and create a brighter future for them all.

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I love fluffy endings, I love happy endings ... and I also love powerful endings.

Especially timed right to awesome music haha.

Oh my gosh. Was that a lot.

This? This is character development. A character arc. Race accepts who he is and what he is.

I am what I am. What a lovely phrase.

Every time Race had a big paragraph speech, I got chills.

And when he realized that being born in the wrong body wasn't what was holding him back; he was holding himself back; and how he could move on from there.

So what did you all think of that?!

Please, no homophobia or transphobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who is soooo ready for equal rights all around for every marginalized group)