What was truly the meaning of life?

Andrew was not very spiritual, but as of late, he had been pondering over the futile question. Twas not like he did not feel like having no reason to live, but rather like his life had changed too much and he did not know how to go about it.

The house was deadly silent as of that life changing day. He scoffed. Saying it like that reminded him of his wedding. That he had seen as a life changing day, and he truly never forgot it. Not even now, when all was dark, could he not see the light of that day.

She had looked gorgeous. She always did, of course, but that day there had been something more about her. His sister had called it a "glow", and Andrew must agree with the term. She indeed shone and glowed. She was magnificent.

He had realized that long before he had asked for her hand. Not only was she so beautiful that he could not keep his eyes off her, she was also the kindest lady he had ever met. There was something about her shyness that made him notice her.

She was different from everyone else, and to most people, she was seen as a minority. But that specialness she had about her, was exactly what Andrew fell in love with. She was different, and he adored it. She was beautiful, but not so beautiful that every man would turn his head to see her. He never had to be jealous, and he was certain she was his.

He also knew she would feel uncomfortable if every head turned her way. Mayhap that was why she dressed in her most boring dresses whenever a big crowd would gather around her. Mayhap that was why she only showed her true beauty to him.

Vicky was also quite shy, thus people did not notice her kindness. But Andrew had seen it all. He had watched her fall in love with him, he had seen the kind smiles she gave Elizabeth, the beautiful words she told her children and her friendliness toward the staff.

She would do things without complaining, even if she did not truly want to do them. But she also had a passion that came before anything else. Her baking had forever changed his perception of good food, and her improper behaviour had made him realize there was more to life than the ton. One did not need decency to be happy.

But now she was not here anymore. Every night he fell asleep alone, and every morning he woke up alone. He ate his meals with only his children and he visited his brother-in-law without her riding beside him. He would enter the big wardrobe-room to see her unused gowns, and would work in his study without her disturbing him to try her food.

The tears returned to burn his eyes as he thought back of those many times she had made him happy. Her smile had lit up every room, her laughter had brought the pleasant feeling to his belly and her kisses made him only desire more of her touch.

He would never feel it again. Her beautiful body was buried in the dirty earth. He could visit her grave and talk to her, but who could say she truly heard him? Why did people not see him as odd when the earth made him cry, but Vicky could not ride a horse without a crinoline?

He scoffed and pushed himself back to reality. He was sitting on the coach, doing nothing and watching his children who were sitting on the coach, doing nothing and watching their father.

Alice and Louis found it difficult as well to live without Vicky. Alice had barely opened her mouth, and Louis had not worn anything but black since the funeral. Just like Andrew, their days would be filled with thinking back of good memories and crying at the realization that that was all they would ever be – memories.

That was the only way a day changed. Sometimes Alice would be the first to cry, something Louis and something Andrew. And sometimes Sophia would wake up before they could shed their first tear.

He had not gone back to Duncan yet, and he did not want to either. The place had so many memories of her, he would not be able to enter a room and not think of her. He started to hate the place again, but this time because good memories were attached to it.

His siblings would often come to the Jones House, hoping to bring happiness back to its residents. Though Hawthorne could temporarily change his thoughts, Elizabeth was only a reminder of his wife. Seeing his sister without Vicky was even more heart-breaking than seeing Sophia.

Thomas reminded him of Arthur and how the bastard showed up at her funeral, and Mary made him think of her missing child, like he was missing his wife. The only upside his sister had, was that Nora might come back to her.

Malcolm would sometimes come as well. But the only spirits he could lift, were those of the children. Not even his own was happier upon seeing the family of his dead sister.

Lady Anne would of course come to see her son as well.

So when there was a knock on the door, Andrew assumed it would be one of his siblings with an attempt to make their day better. Mr. Lennard opened the door, and announced: "a letter has arrived for you, my lord. Tis urgent."

The staff was mourning too. Though they did not show tears in Andrew's presence, he knew how much they had loved their mistress. In fact, he was certain they loved her more than that they loved him. But he completely understood, for what was not to love about Vicky?

The butler walked closer with a platter, lowering it so that Andrew could take the letter that lay on top. He opened it, not even wondering what was inside, for everything seemed to leave him cold. But as he read his brother's letter, his heart warmed a little – the first feeling of warmth ever since her funeral.

"Papa, why are you smiling?" Louis asked innocently.

Andrew looked up at his son, only realizing now that indeed he was smiling. "The bad man, Arthur, he is caught. Thomas has seen him in prison with his own eyes."