» 18 «
» please do let me know if you have any constructive criticism or any writing tips i should know about? i think i'm a bit rusty at it and i'd love to improve any way i can «
••
Lamees brooded over the same things for the next week; blaming herself and thinking how horrible and selfish it was of her to even talk about leaving Gunner, while he was still behind bars. Like, she should've at least waited until he was out and free instead of just saying things that she felt like.
She relentlessly mentally beat herself up over such things to the point where she lost her appetite, causing her parents to grow wearisome again. There didn't seem to be any solution where she wouldn't end up hurting Gunner in the end. Maybe it would've been better if she hadn't gotten into anything with Gunner at all, all those years ago. But no...
As much as she was hurting at the moment, and she was sure Gunner was too, she was glad for all of his affections and for the little moments that they shared. There was no doubt that she'd always be grateful for Gunner, despite how much it hurt. It was after all, part of the package; the pain and the love that cocooned it all.
She wouldn't do it over any differently, even if she had the chance to. She wouldn't stop herself from liking Gunner, neither would she stop herself from staring at him when he was playing basketball. He would grow on her all over again, with his charm and affectionate eyes. And she would kiss him once again in his car and hold onto that moment forever. She wouldn't give up any of those times with him, not for the whole world.
But it still broke her heart to even imagine a life without Gunner in it. She vaguely knew and understood that this needed to come to a stop because if it didn't now, then it would inevitably in the future and at that point in time, she wouldn't know what to do then.
This was the hardest choice so it must be right, right?
Lamees couldn't bring herself to visit Gunner that week and she had a feeling that he wasn't done sorting this issue out in his head either, so she stayed away and locked up in her room.
"Coward," she mercilessly called herself, as she lay in bed, on her side, her hair a tangled mess behind her. "Selfish. Cruel."
"An' apparently an anorexic as well," her mother claimed from behind Lamees, causing her to jump up in surprise. She turned around to find her mother looking down at her disapprovingly, with her hands on her hips. She shook her head, as she walked around the bed to open the curtains. "Haz your room even seen any sunlight today?"
Lamees groaned out loud, falling back into the safety of her covers. "I thought I locked my door. And by the way," she pulled her head back out of the covers to glance at her mother, "I'm not an anorexic. And it's very offensive to call me that, when I don't have that condition."
Her mother rolled her eyes and motioned for her to follow her downstairs, as she made her way out of the room. "Come. Eat. You worry me an' your Baba very much."
She rarely referred to her husband as Lamees's Baba but only did so when she was very worried about him and was sharing her concerns about him to Lamees — which is why, Lamees forced herself out of bed and downstairs for lunch. She understood without her mother saying anything to her; her dad really must've been worried then.
They had a quiet lunch, where her mother attempted to make small talk for a bit but then gave up halfway, realising there was no point. Even her dad tried to get her to talk but Lamees for the most part, remained unresponsive. She knew that they were only trying their best but she couldn't bring herself to fake conversation, not when all she had on her mind was Gunner.
Her dad asked her if she'd decided anything about where she wanted to go to college, but one nudge on the arm from his wife, alerted him to the fact that now was not the time to be discussing such matters.
After dinner, Lamees quietly did the dishes by herself and then walked upstairs to her room, just as quietly as she'd crept downstairs.
The next week was more or less the same for her and her family, as they continued to tiptoe around each other, afraid that they might do or say something at the wrong moment. Then all of that changed when a middle aged woman showed up at their doorstep, asking if she could see Lamees for a moment.
When Lamees saw Aqua standing at the door and smiling at her in greeting, she couldn't speak for a while. And when she finally found her voice, she had too many questions. "What're you doing here? How did you know where I live? Wait, is it because of Gunner? Is he okay? Did something happen to him?"
Gunner's mother chuckled at all her questions and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Gunner is alright. Everything is fine. And I knew how to find you because Gunner told me where you lived — I hope you don't mind, since I've come here to share some great news with you."
"Oh, okay." Lamees was relieved at the thought that Gunner was okay but she still felt on edge, seeing his mother all of a sudden like this. "What's going on then?"
Aqua's eyes twinkled as she said very excitedly, "I've come to tell you that they're releasing Gunner tomorrow!"
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro