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According to Google, a pregnant woman can feel her baby's movements when she's at least three months in. Lamees clicked away from the article and sighed. She was a month and a half in.

Her mother had called her downstairs for lunch a few minutes ago but she'd told her that she didn't feel like eating. Her stomach had been acting up and she made sure that a garbage bag was almost always within reach in case she needed to throw up again.

Her parents were starting to get on her nerves as they couldn't stop pestering her with questions about what she wanted to take in college - which was what she was supposed to be doing actually.

She'd come upstairs to look at the different options she had and the subjects and courses to choose from but her mind was blank. And instead, Lamees had googled about pregnancy. Of course, one of the first searches had to be about Kylie Jenner and her newborn, Stormi. At least, someone was happy about being a mom.

She started scrolling through the colleges again and there were a few great options for her - one that even her parents would agree on. But further studies was the last thing on her mind right now. She didn't really care whether she had an art major or enrolled into law school. What would it matter if after just a few weeks of classes starting, she would have to take a leave to have the baby. And who knows what she might miss during her absence or how much work she would have to catch up on later on. Not to mention the fact that she would officially be a mother. Meaning her baby would keep her up at night, she wouldn't be able to commit to her studies and books. The baby was going to ruin her schedule.

Pursuing further studies like this would only complicate things even more.

But what if... what if she didn't have the baby...

That wasn't the first time that thought had crossed her mind. On the contrary, she had thought about getting an abortion a lot lately. It would mean less of a hassle, her parents would never have to find out about this and Gunner... Gunner had wanted her to get the abortion too...

It was an easy way out and he had even told her not to worry about the expenses either. He would take care of it, he had said.

But Lamees had refused, saying that it felt wrong, that it felt like taking a life away because it was already breathing inside of her. That had set him off.

She had never seen him so angry before like she had that night. He had left abruptly, without saying where he was going and she hadn't heard from him at all, all day next day. She had tried calling and leaving voicemails but there was no response. Just when she was starting to really panic and freak out, he called. Only it wasn't his voice she heard from the other end but an older, gruffer one.

At first, she thought that it might be his father but then the officer introduced himself quickly and informed her that Gunner was being charged for vandalism. He also informed her that they'd already contacted his parents and that they were on their way to the station to see him.

When Lamees hadn't found a voice to speak, the officer hung up after telling her the address and the details for getting to the station. She didn't go. She didn't even leave her room that day. She couldn't grasp it at all, and she spent hours in denial, trying to convince herself that she hadn't heard the officer right or that it was someone else by the same name and the numbers got mixed up somehow. Because it couldn't be her Gunner.

She forced herself to walk to the station, to justify to herself that she was right all along, that there was no way that it was him. It couldn't be.

However, when Gunner was brought into the room, she wasn't surprised, almost like she knew in some part of her mind that it was him and that she could spin a thousand lies to keep herself in a blissful little bubble, but it still wouldn't be true.

And he had even asked her again about her decision to keep the baby. She didn't have an answer still.

Getting the abortion was the easier option and she would've had it done already if she didn't feel like it was wrong. The feminists all over would argue that it would be her choice, whatever she decided and that she shouldn't have to feel guilty about anything in this situation. But that was the point. She did feel guilty. And she felt if she went through with the abortion, the guilt of taking a life would haunt her for years.

Her first unborn child. She hadn't planned for it or wanted it or asked for it but nonetheless, it was still inside her belly. It was growing inside of her and even when she was thrust this responsibility without any warning, things were the way they were, and she knew that she couldn't blame the child for what the father did.

Lamees leaned back in her seat and ran her hand slowly across her stomach. She wasn't ready to be a mother, she wasn't ready for any of this. What was she going to do? What should she do?