C H A P T E R   35 :   Q U E E N   O F   H E A R T S

You said "let me try you on"
So I let you try me on
That's the moment that we fell in deep
Oh, baby, I said, "just a little bit"
Then I got a taste of it
Now you got me fallin' at your feet

I didn't mean to fall in love
Took one hit and I was gone
Gotta get my fix or I can't sleep
Oh, baby, you're the one they warned about
Now I just can't do without
Baby, it's my appetite you feed"

Felicia's POV

"So, are you excited for tonight's party?" Bianca asked me as she opened up her wardrobe. It was the last day of the year and the whole mansion was seething with excitement and anticipation. And of course, since she was more effervescent than all the champagne it would be drunk this night, Bianca was the most eager to welcome 2015.

"You make it impossible not to be." I chuckled. For the month that I dreaded the most, December passed by pretty quickly. Ever since my mother died, holidays were a rough time for me, and after my father died and I was taken captive, even more. Then Peter came and he made sure we celebrated everything and make the most of it. I remembered how he was the only thing I was thankful for on Thanksgiving or how on New Year's Eve we watched the fireworks light up the sky of Times Square. Then we got home and he made the fireworks light up inside of me for the first time.

After we slipt up, festivities only mattered because it meant rich people would be gathered in big parties where I could blend in and take everything I wanted. With the charcoal sliding down the sheet of paper and my fingers stained black, I smiled, reminiscing how one year ago I had woken up with two guys on each side of a bed in a penthouse somewhere, one of them with a F tattoed on his chest he most likely instantly regretted.

"Oh God, you have to help me!" She said, rummaging through her clothes in a rampage. "I have nothing to wear for tonight!"

"Hashtag First World Problems." I said sarcastically, eyeing the dresses she had thrown onto her bed.

"Oh, come on!" She exclaimed. "The best part of the year is the end, and a lot of former students and X-Men are coming. Don't you want to turn heads and stop traffic tonight?"

"We already do that on a daily basis, hun." I winked at her. "But fine, let's go blow everyone away."

***

"So what are you going to do today?" I asked Peter over the phone as I took a break from decorating the mansion with the others. Ever since we reunited in my birthday, we had been catching up and making up for lost time and had gone back to being thick as thieves.

I had visited him and his aunt in Christmas Eve, something I was apprehensive about, but May received me with a warm hug and a big piece of pie so I guess she was happy to see me again. They invited me to spend Christmas with them, but I declined since I wanted to see how it was in the mansion, and it had felt like finally finding a home. When someone suggested Logan should be Santa Claws, I volunteered to be his sexy helper, to which he replied he didn't want to punish the kids with Grinch's visit. Very funny.

"Aunt May and I are going to the Brooklyn Bridge to watch the fireworks and I think MJ and Harry will join us too. But I wish you would come too!"

"Maybe next year." I told him, trying to suppress a laugh when Alex fell down the ladder because Roberto had been more interested in checking two girls out than steadying his friend. "I want to see how it is here since that's all everyone keeps talking about."

"Or maybe it's because your potential soulmate is going to be there too?"

My heart skipped a beat at the thought. "Maybe. But just because I'm sure he can't pull off a tuxedo."

"So you rather see him naked?"

"Peter!" I censored, my cheeks suddenly flushed. "There's people with super hearing here."

"Oh, shoot, I forgot! Do you think I can visit you one of these days? I'd love to see how the school is like and maybe catch a glimpse of that man of yours."

"He's not mine."

"Yet." Peter said, and I could hear him grin into the phone.

"Peter, I'm gonna hang up on you if you don't stop." I chuckled.

"I gotta go anyway, gotta help Aunt May with those delicious cupcakes she makes, you know, the ones with the rainbow frosting?"

"Yes, save me one!"

"But they're rainbow cupcakes! Everyone deserves more than one. I'll save you a bunch."

I grinned. "Gosh, Peter, I've missed you."

"Aw, I've missed you too, Party-Hardy."

***

I never thought it would come the day when I would find a school gym beautiful but looking at the fruit of our labour proved me wrong. The room was painted in gold, silver and glitter, with balloon letters, stars and moons hanging from the ceiling and placed on the walls. The lights were set down low, pouring down the silk curtains and enveloping the area in a sensory, mysterious ambiance, with the beautiful drapery offering the scenery a sense of secrecy and possibility. There were all kinds of snacks and appetizers scattered around the tables, with lots of exquisite drinks to the mix, adding to the students' already high enthusiasm.

The party continued outside, with lights, streamers and ribbons adorning the trees, and on the lake's surface water lilies holding small candles had been disposed to form the words Happy 2015. There was also a stage set under a gazebo, which made me curious as to who would be performing.

The night was starry and a warm breeze caressed our skin, replacing the coldness of that day, which could only be Storm's doing.

I was one of the last to leave the mansion and got surprised at how many people were already there. Most faces I had never seen before, but a couple immediately drew mine and everyone else's attention. It was Longshot, looking even more hunky than usual, resting his arm against a tree and leaning towards a breathtaking strawberry-blonde, blue-eyed woman. Despite all the glances they were receiving, they seemed very lost in one another, in a way I had never seen Longshot be with any other person.

I spotted my friends near a tree and made my slow way towards them, the crowd around me parting like Moses and the Red Sea. I was used to this reaction but still I couldn't help but smirk, well aware of the impact my outfit had, especially on male's pheromones.

I was wearing a dress with a tight waist and a sweetheart neckline that highlighted my chest. The silver, sequin top matched my black, mid-thigh skirt and outlined my curves, and my cat eye makeup and intricate hairstyle was the cherry on the cake, although no one would be getting a slice.

Yeah, yeah, as if you wouldn't like Logan to lick your icing—

"GUYS!" I boomed in a failed attempt to clean my dirty mind and eyed my friends. They all looked beautiful, Bianca in a shiny, flamboyant dress, Rogue in a dark green gown and Kitty rocking a black, long jumpsuit, while the guys's formal attire consisted in tight shirts, blazers and trousers of varied colors. "You look amazing!"

"Look who's talking." Roberto winked at me. "But it took you long enough."

"What can I say, I like to make an entrance." I smirked, looking around to see if I could spot Lewis, but he was nowhere to be found. He had told me he would come to the party, but maybe staying at the maze and hearing the music from afar was his idea of attendance.

"You sure did." A feminine voice said from behind me, and I turned around to meet a blue-eyed girl with straight blond hair and an enigmatic, almost haunted smile.

"Illyana!" Piotr jumped from his place to hug her, and the girl laughed as she let him take her in his arms. "I didn't know you'd be here tonight!"

"I managed to make it on time, though I'll have to go back in a couple of days." She said, moving from Piotr's arms to Kitty's. "But I missed you guys."

The emotion made her russian accent thicker and the little smile Illyana cracked while hugging Kitty tightly tugged at my heartstrings.

"So did we, little sister." Piotr said with a big grin, almost teary-eyed. I could imagine it wasn't easy for him being away from her.

"Magik." Alex whispered in my ear, filling me in. "Super weird power, magic related, and super talented, so despite being younger than Piotr and the rest, already goes on missions, mostly to train her powers."

"Thanks." I said, before Illyana finished hugging everybody and looked at me. Her face seemed young, but her eyes were those of an old soul, as if she had seen and done things other people couldn't even imagine, and that contradiction made me take a liking to her. "I'm Felicia, nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She said, before another girl noticed her presence and jumped to hug her. Black-haired and brown-eyed, the girl of Chinese ancestry sported a pair of pink sunglasses that complemented her outfit.

"Illyana!" She grinned. "I can't believe you made it! I missed you, girl!"

"I missed you too, Jubilee." Illyana laughed.

"We all did!" Kitty exclaimed, pulling Jubilee into a tight hug, shortly followed by Rogue. I knew they didn't mean to, but it made me feel a little left out. Seeing all this people I didn't know made me realize I was still the newbie there, after all.

"And who are you?" Jubilee asked. She had a spunky, edgy vibe to her and a spark of curiosity as she stared at me.

"Felicia." As soon as I said my name, her eyebrows rose and a playful smirk filled her lips.

"So you're the Felicia, uh? I've heard a lot about you, you know."

I tilted my head to the side, my interest peaked. "From who?"

But before she could answer me, Alex's voice beamed with excitement.

"Hank!" He called, making a large man with blue fur turn to us. He had pointed ears and claws and when he smiled, his fangs became visible.

"Hi, Alex. How's everything going?" He asked politely, eyeing us briefly. He seemed slightly uncomfortable in the crowd and I smiled at him because I didn't want him to feel left out. The color of his skin didn't matter at all.

"Great! How are you? Still working on that dream of building better relationships between mutants and humans?"

"It's not a dream, Alex, it's an achievable goal." Hank said with a small smile. "How about you, still dreaming about Lorna?"

Alex took a hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. "Ouch, that hurt. I guess I could ask you the same thing about Raven?"

Hank let out a low groan of exasperation and pointed his finger at Alex.

"To be continued." He said. "Now, do you know where your brother is?"

"With Jean, no surprise there. I think they were inside, by the drinks."

Hank offered him a relieved smile and excused himself before leaving us.

"That was Hank." Alex told me. "Some people call him Beast, but he doesn't like it. Don't let his appearance fool you, though, the guy's a genius. And not only insanely smart, but also an activist who fights for the good causes."

"Thank you for not letting me in the dark."

"Of course, love, I got ya." Alex winked at me. I turned around to continue my conversation with Jubilee, but she had disappeared alongside Illyana, Rogue and Kitty, probably to cause some mischief.

"Boy, doesn't he look dreamy..." Bianca whispered when Longshot walked towards us, this time accompanied by a dark-skinned woman with a white mark around her left eye, which was lighter than the other.

"Felicia!" He greeted with a beam of pearly whites, making some of the hearts around me palpitate faster. "I've been looking for you. I wanted you to meet Neena, also known as Domino. She has the same power as us, and I'm aware the majority of the male population in this school would have preferred it was her teaching you instead."

"No doubt in that." Roberto said through gritted teeth, though I was probably the only one who heard him.

Neena offered me her hand to shake with a crafty smirk on her lips. She had a gritty poise to her, emanating both charm and deadliness.

"Between the two of us, I ain't cut out to be a teacher. But it's nice meeting another lucky one, uh?"

"I wouldn't exactly use that word to describe me." I said, taking her hand with a smile. "But yeah, it is."

"Yeah, luck was not on your side when Logan was assigned as your mentor, uh?" She asked with a smirk swinging in her lips. "How are you holding up?"

"Ah, you know how it is. He just needs a little taming."

Neena laughed approvingly. "I like you. Hope the odds will be on your favor from now on. Dammit, where's my drink? I wanna cheer to that."

Without another word, Neena disappeared from our sight followed by Longshot, whose magnetic posture granted him several peeks from the ladies.

"Where's Alison?" Roberto asked. "The only time I don't mind encountering Longshot is when she's with him."

"A strawberry-blonde woman?" I asked and he nodded. "I've seen her around. She's..."

"Dazzling?" Roberto completed with a smirk. "Well, we don't call her Dazzler for nothing. In my opinion, she's too much of a woman for him."

"Oh, don't be so jealous." Bianca intervened, her eyes still daydreaming. "They're a power couple. Longshot may flirt with a lot of women, but when she's in the room, she's the only one he sees."

"My father used to say you know a man loves you when he's surrounded by lots of skin and cleavage and yet he still only has eyes for you." I commented, before the four girls appeared again with champagne glasses.

"Oh, look who's there!" Kitty exclaimed suddenly, elbowing Rogue and pointing with her chin towards a guy doing card tricks to a big circle of absorbed people. I observed him curiously, from his cavalier stance to the cunning smirk on his lips and the frivolous look on his eyes. He moved the cards around with his fingers deftly, shuffling the crowd. When he spoke, his tone had a velvety texture to it, charged with a Cajun French accent that seemed to entice his listeners.

"Uff, there he goes showing off again." Rogue complained, though she couldn't help her eyes from strolling over his body. I looked over at Bobby, expecting him to look ultra jealous, but he seemed detached, lost in his thoughts. I had been sensing a growing distance between them in this past month, and maybe this guy had something to do with it.

"Like you mind." Illyana commented, sharing a meaningful, amused glance with Kitty and Jubilee.

"I do. All he does is trick people and—"

"Bonsoir à toi aussi, Anna Marie." The guy said, slowly dragging the 'r' and averting his eyes from his audience once he heard her voice. His auburn hair and penetrating red eyes contributed to his unique persona. "Wanna help me out? I think I might need an assistant for my next trick."

"I rather clean the toilets with no gloves than help you out, thank you." Rogue replied dryly.

"Always so charming, ma chérie." Then he tilted his head to the side, diverting his gaze towards us. His red irises were surrounded by black, adding to his appeal. I felt a pull towards him once his eyes landed on me, similar to the one I had felt when seeing Longshot for the first time, which made me realize he must also have some kind of hypnotic charm. If he had used it on Rogue as well, she had resisted it easily. "What about you, belle? Would you like to give me a hand?"

He winked at me and shot me a flirtatious smile, but before I could answer him, Rogue intervened, a brazen smirk plastered on her face.

"Ah'd stay away from her if ya don't want to lose yours, sugah." She retorted, making the most out of her southern accent.

"Why don't you come and protect me, then, chère?" He offered her a brash smile in response. "If it's your mec that's stopping you, he can join too."

The guy eyed Bobby with a saucy smirk, hoping to cause a heated reaction, but Bobby just shook his head and smiled calmly. He didn't seem upset, just resigned.

"Remy... you know there's no stopping Rogue."

"I know." He said, and swiftly threw her a card in a garish manner. Rogue caught it against her will and snickered when she saw which one it was. "Instead she stops hearts."

The queen of hearts.

"Yours will certainly stop if ya don't stop talking." She retorted, her eyes glistening devilishly. I realized their interactions always came down to this aggressive, sarcastic bantering, and smiled proudly at her for clearly being able to hold her ground against him and fire back as much wit.

"Come and stop it, then, chérie." He challenged, his eyes running Rogue up and down shamelessly.

"We better leave them alone." Kitty muttered. "When these two start like this, it goes all night."

Everyone else nodded, even Bobby. I found his lack of reaction strange and made a mental note to address it with him once I could.

"So, that's Gambit." Alex explained to me once we walked away from the war zone. "He has a ton of powers, most notably, converting the energy stored in an object into kinetic energy, thus making them explosive. We were on a mission once and he charged gum with his powers and spat it at our enemy. Epic."

"He's doing it again." Piotr said. Rogue had gotten closer to his show and Remy was holding a card surrounded by an orange and red mist, but Storm approached him and told him to put it off before he "blew something up again". I couldn't help but smirk at the similarities with Lewis.

"We better keep an eye on them." Jubilee stated. "I don't want my party ruined because they've killed each other."

"I'm going inside." I announced, because I wanted to see if Logan was in there. Not having seen him yet was leaving me fidgety for some stupid reason. Ever since he had offered his body as a target to help me shoot my fears and in return I had shuffled off his pain, my whole being was itching just to be in the same space as his. His presence was addicting. I couldn't explain it; all I knew was I had never felt anything as powerful, and I wasn't sure just how much more I could take before showing my hand to him.

Another batch of unknown, different faces colored my vision when I entered the gym. There was a blond man with a pair of white, metallic wings next to a striking woman with violet eyes and purple hair. Her long, revealing dress was purple too and when our eyes locked, I sensed a dash of menace coming from her, much like Elektra.

I tried to remember if anyone had mentioned them before to put a name to their faces, but without Alex there to help me out, I was lost.

I headed towards the food tables and eyed the appetizers hungrily, but before I could get my hands on a ravioli pop, something touched my right shoulder, making me jump in surprise. It was the tip of a long tail and I followed it all the way to its owner, taking in on indigo fur, pointed ears, and yellow eyes. The first thing that came to my mind was Mystique, but this was a man with an amicable smile that exposed his fang-like teeth.

"Excuse me, miss, are you Felicia Hardy?" He asked in a cryptic tone, and only then did I notice he was barefooted and only had two toes on each foot, along with three fingers on each hand.

"Depends on who's asking." I joked, intrigued by the fair assumption.

"I'm Kurt Wagner." The man said with a comprehensive smile. "And I've heard a lot about you."

"From who?" I found myself repeating.

"Logan." Jubilee answered, popping out of nowhere, a perky smile dangling on her lips. "He's not much of a talker but, boy, he won't shut up about you! He will never admit it, but it's true. Kurt and I are two of his closest friends, we know what we're talking about."

"I can attest that." Storm said, approaching us with a smile, her eyes lingering on Kurt for a moment. "It's nice to have you back."

"It's nice to be back." Kurt replied in a tender voice. "And to finally meet the woman Logan—"

"KURT!" Logan's voice thundered from behind us and my body spinned around instantly, not bothering to prepare my mind for the impact. His eyes tumbled upon me unannounced, sliding down my dress quickly before settling on my eyes with might. I swallowed hard, trying to fight the heat that assaulted me. Against all odds, Logan was wearing an actual tuxedo, all in black, making my appetite rise above the roof and giving me no idea as to how the hell I was supposed to endure the night.

"Well, don't you look—" I started, a smile of effrontery sprouting from my lips.

"Not a word." He cut, his somber and unmoving stare moving things inside me.

"Smashing."

He rolled his eyes before moving them to Kurt, Jubilee and Storm, who were all watching us amusedly. "I see you've met Felicia."

"Yup." Jubilee said, popping the 'p' and smirking irreverently. "Amidst all your commentary, you just forgot to tell us she was such a stunner."

Logan eyed the glass Jubilee had on her hand and snatched it away from her. "That's it, you're not drinking anymore tonight."

"Always the same killjoy." Jubilee said and strolled away, grabbing another glass of champagne on her way out. When I looked at Logan again, my heart rolled over itself as I caught him already staring at me.

"Couldn't have gotten a shorter dress, um?"

"If it's bothering you, no one forces you to look." I retorted slyly while he scrunched up his nose in annoyance.

"No, I'm just going to have more trouble now making sure everyone keeps their hands to themselves."

I leaned towards him, not being able to stop myself. While I was always wrapped in myself, Logan made me want to unfold. I wanted him to undo me, pull every knot, every loop, every bow, layer by layer, not leaving anything shrouded or unfound, until it reached the bottom and beyond. I wanted him to lay all of my cards on his table, to put everything out in the open, to never shut us down. Better yet, I wanted him to do me so I could stop feel undone. Or so we could both come undone.

"Including you?"

"Don't get too cocky, Felicia." He said, throwing me an impetuous side glance. "You're not the only woman here."

"Speaking of which," Storm stepped in, gesturing towards Neena, who was speaking to the woman in the purple dress, their intimidating auras merging into double danger. "Have you talked to Neena? She's been asking about you."

I felt a violent sting to my heart as if someone had suddenly bitten it, chewed it and spat it out, deciding it sucked. This was what I had feared about this night. Being confronted with all the trails of his past, wondering if any of them had actually gone cold.

"If it's about Wade, I don't wanna know. Wait, he's not coming tonight, is he? 'Cause if not, I might actually get a chance to survive until next year."

"No." Storm said, while Logan mouthed 'Thank God'. "He said something about not wanting to see your, and I quote, "hairy-balled" face since you refuse to participate in his movie or whatever gibberish it is that he keeps talking about and no one understands." Storm informed, making me bend down in laughter at the hilariousness of the nickname.

"Stand up." Logan asked through gritted teeth. "Or I'm going to have to rip some eyeballs out."

"You can't order me around, Logan." I replied, battling his fierce stare with my own. But maybe you can order me for dessert? Google, please, how can I murder my hormones? "It's a party, for God's sake. Can't you relax for just a bit and have fun for once in your life?"

"Listen to Felicia, Logan, or you might start growing gray hair." Neena said once she approached us, her eyes travelling his suit up and down approvingly.

"Neena." Logan greeted, still keeping an eye on me from the corner of his. "Always a pleasure."

"Yeah, tends to be." She said, smirking at him knowingly, and I felt my insides pulse with acrimony again. Suddenly I couldn't be there anymore, witnessing this present past I wasn't a part of, grasping all I would never have, and walked away from them without a goodbye. I felt the need to put as many miles between us as I could, because Logan made all the alarms in me go off, and the burglar in me knew that meant it was time to evade. Before I could reach for the door, though, a voice stopped me, making me turn my head to the side.

"You don't have to worry." It was the woman in the purple dress, her eyes pinning mine down in a riddle I couldn't decrypt. "Trust me."

I frowned, freeing myself from her grip. "About what? Who are you?"

"I'm Elizabeth Braddock, Logan's friend. What's going on inside your head is very far from what's going on inside his."

Great. Another mind reader. Sometimes it was easy forgetting how easily these people could look into our thoughts. Better start singing Bieber's Baby to scare them away from my mind.

"Stay away from my head." I warned. "And his."

She shook her head. "I didn't have to. Some things are just transparent."

"How lovely. Write that down and frame it. I need to get some fresh air." I said, before leaving the gym with my nostrils flaring. I needed to calm myself down before other people started noticing, but it was hard when there was so many women Logan seemed to have a connection with, and none of them was me. Why do you care so much? Why can't you stop? How much more can you take? And for how much longer can you fake?

Sometimes, I really wished we could close our thoughts like we closed our eyes.

Unsurprisingly, I found myself heading towards the maze, smiling when I saw Lewis lying on the bench, head resting on his arm, eyes sustaining the sky, suit crumpled up and headphones pressing against his skull as if he badly needed someone to whisper in his ear.

"Hey." I said softly, coming into his field of vision, the tips of my hair stroking his face lightly. He laughed against it, instantly heroizing some of my antagonism. He sat up and took off his headphones, taking a lengthy peek at me.

"You're very visually stimulating tonight. I don't know where to look at." He joked while I sat next to him, shivering slightly from the cold feel of the bench against my bare skin.

"Well, I'm not worried. If anyone can look at my skin and find my soul, it's you."

He gave me a side glance, unable to choke back a pleased smirk.

"Your looks can kill, angel eyes, but your words always make me live." His tone was frisky as always, but under it there was that tragically entrenched poetry not many people bothered to concede. Lewis reminded me of those waters that seemed shallow until we went through them and realized we could no longer stand up underwater.

"You're one to talk!" I said, grinning as I made my fingers slide down his tie. "Look at you, all dolled up! I didn't know you could pull off a tie so well."

"Phew, love, I can pull off anything I want. After about twenty very frustrating attempts, that is. I even burned a few."

I laughed. "You could have come to me, hardheaded!"

He offered me a sly smirk. "With Felicia Hardy looking like this next to me, it's not just the head that's hard."

I shoved him by his shoulder, laughing until my stomach hurt. "You're too much, Hothead. I love you."

His eyes widened in surprise and lit up more than the sky above our heads.

"So this is what the fuss is all about. Thank you. For finally making me understand." He said, his voice serious for a second, making my heart ache from the idea he might have never heard those words before. From now on, I was going to make sure my love was enough to fill in the gaps of his past.

"Anytime, Hothead."

"Now, tell me, why are you here instead of stealing the show?"

"Can't I keep my adorable friend company for a bit?"

Lewis nodded. "Of course, and I appreciate it. But I also know you love parties, and I don't want you to miss out because of me."

Maybe I'm missing in. Because I feel out of myself. Because that's how he leaves me. Because I want to break in on him. Because I can't get him out of me, even though he's not even here.

"But do you want me to stay?"

Lewis shook his head, smiling at me. He seemed undisturbed. Happy, even. "No, angel, go have fun. That dress deserves to be seen, don't you think? Wait, has Logan seen it yet? How did he react?"

My shoulders fell at the mention of his name.

"I think he's too busy catching up with all his past lovers. Not that I care, though."

"From my experience, if someone feels the need to say they don't care, it's probably because they do." Lewis said with an irritating little smile. "Get out of here, angel eyes. Go get him."

I rolled my eyes at him but got up anyway. "Do you want to come?"

"What, get him? God, no." He teased. "To the party? Maybe later. I need my mental preparation first. But thank you, for not forcing me to go."

"Of course. If you want to stay, stay. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure you're having one hell of a party inside your head anyway."

Lewis clicked his tongue and smirked. "You bet. But I'll be there at midnight. This handsome face gotta be the first thing you see next year."

"I'll make sure to close my eyes, then." I winked at him and he waved me goodbye with two fingers before lying down on the bench again. I found my way out of the maze easily, almost bumping into Bobby at the exit, who was wandering around, a little lost.

"Bobby... are you okay?"

"Yes." He forced a smile. "I think. Honestly, I'm not sure, but I'll figure it out."

"Is it Rogue?"

"Partially. We've been... drifting apart lately. It's not her fault, or mine, or anyone's really. It's just life, I guess. Love... fades, or it changes, I don't know. I know there's something going on there with Remy, though, he always gets under her skin, and I'm sure he would literally love to. And it's not affecting me as it should. I don't feel jealous, you know? I feel removed. Been feeling different lately as well. Like I've been closed behind a door, and now I can finally open it, but it's dark. And I don't know which way to go or which light to turn on. Sorry, I know none of this makes any sense. I haven't been making sense lately. Or maybe I have, but the world doesn't let me explain. It doesn't let me change. I feel like I'm trapped inside of everyone except myself, because everyone has an idea of who I am and a say on who I should be except me."

"You know," I told him, because I knew just the right person who had just the right words when nothing in us felt right. "You should go take a walk through the maze. I was feeling torn too and I'm much better now, I'm sure it will do you good. You just have to give it a chance."

He tilted his head to the side, trying to read between the lines.

"Aren't mazes the place people go to get lost?"

I drew him an inscrutable smile. "Or maybe they're just trying to find themselves by losing sense of everything else. Give it a try."

He stared at me for a while, but finally sighed and nodded. "Okay."

"And you know you can talk to me, right? About anything?"

He smiled. "I know. Oh, by the way, I think Logan was looking for you. I heard he had to put several guys in their places because he heard them talking not so nicely about you. Seriously, he's been running around like crazy all night to ensure no one tarnishes your... dignity."

I huffed. "What? My dignity is not tarnished unless I decide it is. No one has control over it except me. Seriously, that guy is impossible."

This time, the side of his lips lifted into an astute smirk. "But you're an odd turner, aren't you? If anyone can make him possible, it's you."

"Ugh, just go into the maze already." I said while he chuckled but did as I told. I made my way around the crowd and into the mansion to go to the bathroom, relishing on the quietness the empty halls provided, though the music and the chatter was still very much audible.

"Fuck." I cursed when I felt the zipper of my dress getting stuck. I stepped out of my dorm's bathroom to hopefully get a better view of my back in the full-length mirror of the room, but still I couldn't get the zipper to properly work. "Seriously, fuck my luck."

"Felicia?" I froze in my place when I heard his voice coming from downstairs. "Is everything alright?"

"I, um, yes..." I mumbled, too distracted now to be able to release the damn zipper. "Just a minor inconvenience, that's all."

"Do you need help?" Logan asked, starting to climb up the stairs without waiting for my answer.

"No, I'm... fuck!" I said when my finger got stuck in the zipper, squeezing my skin tightly. I heard him stop dead on his tracks near my door, his breathing slightly heavier than before.

"Felicia, are you with someone?"

I bit my lip to stop me from laughing despite my current situation.

"What happened to your senses, Logan? Can't you realize we're the only two people in the mansion?"

"Well, some people can cloak themselves. And besides, you confuse me most of the times, so I'm never quite sure." His voice was outside of the door now and his words made my heart go aflutter. I finally managed to release my finger, though the zipper was still stuck. Fuck this.

"Actually, can you help me out?" I asked, and he opened up the door immediately, his eyes scanning the scene rapidly before unrelentingly landing on me, one eyebrow raised in amusement. Luckily it was just the back of my top that was exposed, but still his stare made me feel naked. In the best of ways. "Pull the zipper down, uh, I mean, up?"

Dammit, Felicia! That's not how you're going to be able to pretend! Logan might not be a mind reader, but he is a body reader and when it comes to your soul, he can open it up pretty well too.

Logan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorway, clearly enjoying my discomfiture. "What, the oh so great Felicia can't do it herself?"

"Oh, shut up and just come here already." I ordered, shooting daggers at him with my eyes. He made a presumptuous smile and shook his head.

"Um, I don't think so. Maybe if you can't get that fixed, you'll stay here all night and I won't have to worry about you."

"Logan." I said through gritted teeth. "Come here. Now."

His smirk just grew wilder at those words. "You can't order me around, Felicia."

Fine. If it's war you want...

"Whatever, I'll go like this. I'm sure in no time I'll have a line of guys trying to zip this up, anyway. Or down." I hadn't even finished talking and he was already crushing the distance between us in three resolute steps, his eyes on mine pungent. There it was again, that power play, that battle for control, that friction bouncing back and forth between us, rustling my feels.

"I'll do it." He said, before his fingers reached for the zipper, my skin aquiver from his warm touch. Our eyes locked in the mirror in front of us, and everything in me thudded and throbbed for him.

"Why did you leave like that?" He asked, his breath falling on my neck like a leaf dropping from a tree. This was a terrible idea. I can feel my heartbeat everywhere, even in places I'm sure it shouldn't be in.

"The conversation was getting boring." I said, and it took all of my strength to not speak in a wobbly voice. His skilled fingers had unblocked the zipper quickly, but were now very slowly dragging it up, teasing me with all the other things I was sure his fingers were great at.

"You could have said something." His voice was low and husky and burning my skin and it took every bit of self-control not to turn around and... do what? Slap him? Kiss him? Both? "I don't like to see you walk away."

"That's a first. Most people love staring at my back."

Suddenly his hands had left the zipper and were slithering down my shoulders, his demanding eyes on the mirror vindicating mine.

"I rather stare at your eyes."

My heart contracted so much I thought it would burst out of my chest in early fireworks of bedlam. His fingers hovered over my left shoulder blade, outlining the recently tattooed small birds.

"How many of these do you have?" He asked, a hint of curiosity surpassing his typical demeanor of indifference. I showed him my left hand, where a black rose was inked on the outer side of my ring finger and the silhouette of a cat was printed on my wrist. I had always wanted to get a tattoo, but with my regenerative factor they didn't last long. When I mentioned it to Bianca, she told me about this mutant tattoo artist whose powers allowed him to create tattoos on anything, with the benefit of being able to remove them if we wanted, and she went there with me a few weeks ago.

"I have another one," I said, my voice swaying with delight, "but I can't exactly show it to you."

He arched one single eyebrow, smiling impudently at me. "Why not? If you got it, flaunt it, right?"

My entire body heated up, my cheeks flushing violently as his fingers trailed over my body. What the fuck? I never got embarrassed with things like this. Heck, he had even seen me in a bikini before, but this felt different. It was more charged now, as if all the electricity was here and the entire world was on blackout because of us.

"I don't know. Some things are better left hidden."

His hands fell on each side of my waist, firming it against his body. My back was trapped against his chest and my eyes were lost inside his as they battled each other on the deceiving glass. The mirror couldn't reflect me or see me the way he did; it couldn't capture the unseen.

"Yeah." He said, his voice splintered. "Maybe you're right."

He took his hands away from my waist suddenly and I had to bite my tongue harshly to prevent me from whimpering at the loss.

"Wait here." He asked before leaving the room. My heart was bumping in my chest and I took several deep breaths, trying to put some order in my mayhem. My eyes fell on the drawing I had on top of my desk, but before I could do anything, Logan returned with a small package nicely wrapped.

"I got you this for Christmas but I... I didn't know if you'd want it." He said, taking me aback and my emotion forward. "Clearly I wasn't the one to wrap it."

"Clearly." I said, unable to contain a grin and accepting his gift. I tore the wrapper impatiently and smiled once I saw what it was. A set of elegant chokers, some with my favorite gemstones such as aquamarine, opal and moonstone, and others with cat-related motifs such as the shape of their face and ears. I looked at him through the mirror and smirked. "Logan... is this your way to say you want to choke me?"

Because I'm not sure what my answer would be to that.

His eyes widened to the moon and back before his face settled in a closed, reddened expression of infuriation. "You had to ruin it, didn't you?"

"Relax, Logan, I'm kidding. No need to get all choked up." I winked, and he rolled his eyes at my pun. "I love it. Thank you. I actually... I have something for you too, Grumpy Cat."

I moved away from him with an extraordinary amount of effort and grabbed the drawing from my desk. It was one of my best works simply because the inspiration was painfully endless. It was a colored pencil portrait of him, drawn as humanly as possible.

"I hope you like it." I told him, our fingers brushing one another when he took it. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and then a small smile popped out of his mouth, stretching into a hammock I wanted to lie my lips in.

"Felicia, this is... man, is this really me? 'Cause I actually look more handsome than Longshot in this, and that takes a lot of talent. It's amazing. Are you sure you don't want to keep it?"

I chuckled, wondering if he had any idea of how many of those I had.

"No, it's all yours."

As I should be.

"Thank you." He said, his eyes falling on my neckline. "Can I—"

"Yes." I didn't let him finish and handed him the package of necklaces hurriedly, because that's how much I needed his hands on me again. After carefully placing the drawing on the desk and taking a drawn-out glance at my dress, he picked up a moonstone choker and I took my hair out of the way, shuddering when his fingers and the cold stone touched my skin. I reached for it instantly, trying to grasp the balance he was sweeping off my feet. I could hear his heart beating just as furiously as mine, but I couldn't risk making any educated guesses.

"Now you look good." He teased, his fingers pressing against the nape of my neck in a tight but soothing way, and I instinctively snuggled against it. He made his fingers stretch and wrap around my neck lightly and leaned into my ear to whisper. "But not enough for me to choke you."

I turned around abruptly, all of me stirred up, the fire in my eyes colliding with his, neither flame backing down. If we burned, we'd do it together.

"What?" He muttered, leaning even more into me, the small annoying smirk never leaving his face. "No comeback this time? Cat got your tongue?"

No, you idiot. I'm just fighting really hard against myself not to use that tongue to kiss you right now.

"I... I think it was a wolf." I stammered. His eyes fell on my lips, mine on his, and I didn't know who inched forward first, but suddenly we were mere inches from each other, closer than we had ever been.

"Well, then, maybe..." He said, his breath caressing my face as his darken eyes fenced mine. "He should give it back."

I nodded, very feebly, very raring. "Yes. He should."

I saw his Adam's apple going up and down as he swallowed hard, his stare flickering from my eyes to my lips and to my eyes again. I knew I looked desirable tonight. But that didn't mean he desired me all the time.

"But I think we should go back." I ended up saying, moving away from him quickly and pouring a bucket of cold water over our foretaste. "You know, in case Neena or some other woman is looking for you again."

Logan furrowed his eyebrows, his gaze instantly hardened, and when he spoke his tone put mile after mile between us.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about."

"And now we're cryin' and lovin'
And now we're fightin' and touchin'
Feels like I'm makin' love to the enemy

I can only take you in small doses, small doses
Loving you, it's explosive, you know this
I can only take you in small doses, small doses
Loving you, it's explosive, you know this
I can only take you in small doses
Small doses, small doses"

A/N: Ah, how I love almost kisses... ;)

Picture is a simple graphic I made. Song is 'Small Doses' by Bebe Rexha, which I love and think it perfectly reflects how Felicia and Logan feel about each other.