C H A P T E R   33 :   W R I T T E N   I N   T H E   S T A R S

When I finally arrived at the mansion, Elektra was nowhere in sight. She must have left soon after I went to New York so that she would be gone before students started waking up and raising questions. I didn't see Logan anywhere either, and my heart flinched at the thought he might have gone with her. They had a history, after all, which reminded me of how much more he had lived in comparison with me and how little I really knew about him.

Shaking my head to empty it from its useless thinking, I looked around and realized a part of me felt different. Better. Encountering Peter and making peace with him had given me something I didn't even know I was looking for. Closure, and thus the entrance to a fresher start.

Then I noticed something else.

A bunch of students were gathered around a picnic table attentively watching something on a phone. I narrowed my eyes to expand my vision and my heart backflipped in my chest when I realized it was a video of me being saved by Spider-Man in New York, hours before.

"Oh, crap." I muttered, trying to walk towards the mansion as fast as I could. I had the stolen mask on in the video, so maybe they hadn't recognized me, but still, the last thing I needed after so many exhausting days was being inquired by loud, hormonal teenagers.

But I should have known by now, luck was not my middle name.

"Hey, Felicia!" I heard one of them shout. "Come see this."

"No, thanks." I gave them a side glance. "Unless it's Captain America playing frisbee, I pass."

"It's Spider-Man saving a hot chick. And guess what," one of them clicked their tongue, "she looks a lot like you."

"Must be my stunt double, then. Or my long-lost sister."

"Oh, come on, those curves don't fool anyone and you know it."

They fool a lot of people, actually. Sighing, I made my way up there and glanced at the video. Despite everything, I couldn't help but smile. Spider-Man and I did make a great team.

"So what if it's me? Do you want details on how he smelled or what?"

"But what was it like?" A girl asked expectantly. "Being in Spider-Man's arms?"

Underneath my skin, my impatience was boiling. I wanted to tell her I had done more than being in his arms, but perhaps that would shock this PG-13 audience.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" I said. "I don't know. I was, as I'm sure you can imagine, too worried about saving mine and everyone else's ass. But hey, next time it happens, I'll make sure to ask time to stop itself so I can properly answer your relevant question. Until then, don't even bother."

With that, I stormed away, not caring if I had been too harsh on them. I was not in the best of moods now. If these kids had been able to identify me, so would my friends. So would Logan.

And Logan would be able to connect the dots and see colors where everyone else only saw grey.

When I opened the mansion's door, I almost got run over by Longshot. As soon as he noticed me, a perfect bright smile filled his face.

"Felicia! I wanted to congratulate you for what you did in New York. From what I've seen you managed to use your power to dodge the bullets, right?"

"Yes." I answered, not wanting to prolong the conversation. All I wanted was to fall on my bed and have a much needed night of sleep. Or day, in this case.

"I'm proud of you." He said, his smile still glued to his lips. Most people would feel charmed right now, but I just felt more and more pissed. How about someone, for once, asked me the really important question? If I was... fine? You'll need to find Logan for that, a voice in the back of my mind annoyingly pointed out. "Now that you've worked with your power on the field, we can improve our lessons and try new things."

"Great. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my bed."

Longshot chuckled and let me pass, but before I could climb the stairs, I was stopped by another girl. Seriously, how difficult was it for people to leave me the hell alone?

"Jeez, if this is about Spider-Man..." I trailed off.

"What? No." The girl shook her head, confused. "Bianca told me she wanted to talk to you. I think she's in the basement."

I sighed. Guess my time as Sleeping Beauty would have to wait. I made my way towards the basement, mentally preparing what I would say to Bianca when she started bombarding me with questions about Peter. Sometimes it was exhausting leading two different lives. Being in touch with all of my sides and not slipping up in any of them.

My forehead wrinkled when I didn't hear any noise from the basement. It was weird, at this time of the day, considering it was the place students used to hang out, play games and be normal. Hence, why I almost never went there. Besides, it reminded me of Dyani and the school attack.

I crept downstairs, and everything was dark. Someone must have covered the small window, and once my night vision kicked in, I understood why. My lips welcomed a smirk once I recognized my friends' silhouettes, hiding in the most varied places.

"Hum, guys..." I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. "You do realize I can see in the dark, right?"

"Oh, fudge." I heard someone mutter, and I could tell it was Alex. Something I had learned with my father and his friends, we could easily recognize people by the way they cursed. "How did we forget that?"

"Quick, open the window!" Someone else rushed. Bianca.

"I can hear you too." I stated, my voice amused.

"Sometimes, superpowers are just a big pain in the ass." Rogue declared.

"I can light up the room if it takes too much to open the window, you know." Another voice added in, and my eyes lit up as I recognized Lewis. I couldn't believe he was there too, standing in the same room as Bobby. For me.

"No, we're not planning on being part of the barbecue, thank you very much." Bobby replied.

"That's a shame, I bet you'd give a nice grilled sausage." Lewis retorted, and then someone opened the window and the late sunlight washed over the place.

"SURPRISE!" A choir of voices shouted as my smile grew wilder. "Happy birthday, Felicia!"

"Thanks, guys. It was... a nice attempt of a surprise." I joked, but I couldn't stop grinning. No matter how I felt about birthdays, I was still moved by their gesture of throwing me a birthday party. The whole basement was unrecognizable, with tables full of food and drinks, flags and balloons hanging from the ceiling and even an improvised dance floor.

Then, my hears got dragged to an unusual but delighful sound. Lewis' laughter.

"What are you laughing about?" Bobby asked, wary.

"Nothing. I'm just glad I kept quiet and didn't warn you about Felicia's powers, because your reaction was priceless."

Bobby rolled his eyes and shook his head, but then looked at me with a smile.

"The things I do for you, Felicia."

***

The night had arrived at the sound of '22' by Taylor Swift. Alex, if I had to guess who put it on. All around the room people were dancing, eating or playing games. There was a Truth or Dare challenge going on in a corner of a room and Twister in another. Kitty and Colossus were there, but the former kept phasing through people, gaining some protests that quickly died down once Colossus gave them the 'say-something-to-her-and-i-will-fight-you" stare.

Alex and Roberto were on the dance floor, being the center of many girls' attention. Bobby and Rogue were playing pool, though Bobby's eyes kept darting to Lewis, who was playing darts. Bianca and I were next to him, chatting happily and drinking mocktails called Peach something.

"Thank you again, Bianca. I know this was your idea."

"Of course." She beamed at me. "You deserve it, Felicia."

"How did you know it was my birthday, though? And that I was turning twenty-two?"

"I didn't steal your ID, if that's what you're thinking." Bianca chuckled. "Charles told us."

"Of course he did." I shook my head, but wasn't mad. Somehow, he had known this was what I needed better than myself. Charles was like the grandfather that always knew how to cheer us up.

"I'm still surprised you invited me." Lewis chipped in, throwing a dart that hit close to the center of the dartboard.

"Well, I knew Felicia wouldn't be happy if you weren't here, and between confronting Bobby or Felicia's rage... I choose Bobby every day."

"Wise choise." I smirked.

"Besides, you're... kinda cool." She told Lewis, her face immediately turning red. He gave her a side glance and a side smirk but a wholehearted answer.

"You're not so bad yourself."

Bianca blushed even harder, so she turned to me for help, and most likely blurted the first thing that came to her mind.

"Felicia, do you believe in zodiac signs?"

The question took me aback while Lewis just chuckled. He was trying to hide it, but I could see he was happy. For being a part of something for once.

"I guess... I believe in what's written in the stars. Cheesy, I know."

"No, it's cool!" Bianca grinned. "'Cause you know, you're a Scorpio. One of the most intense and mysterious signs of the Zodiac."

"I can attest that." Lewis said, gracing me with his perfectly sculpted smirk.

"And I don't know if you know this, but Logan's a Taurus, which is your sister sign, meaning, it's the sign that's directly opposite to Scorpio. Meaning, you're basically fated to have a love-hate relationship with him. 'Cause you drive each other mad yet balance each other out. You can't help but feel attracted to one another even though most of the times you are at each other's throats. It is said Taurus and Scorpio are a particularly explosive match."

"In bed too?" Lewis intervened, a spirited smile dancing on his lips.

"Yes!" Bianca exclaimed excitedly. "You have great sexual compatibility."

I almost spat out my entire drink.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this! My ears are cringing right now."

"Yeah, sure." Bianca smirked while Lewis laughed at my disgusted face. "Everyone knows when you two are in the same room, it's magnetic."

"Any more wonderful advice or can I drink my mocktail in peace now?"

"Just a small warning. A relationship between you two is going to be very challenging, but then again, if anyone can stand up to you, it's him and vice-versa. You're two of the most jealous and possessive signs. You both love power and control, and hate giving it away. Thus, why your fights are always so... fervent."

"Oh, please, I'm out of here." I said, not because I felt like she was making it up, but because it felt too real. And I always had the tendency to run from things that felt right.

"Everything okay?" Bobby asked me when I passed by them at the pool table. "Did Lewis..."

"No, Bobby, you don't have to worry about him. He's having fun, and he's not setting anything on fire. Well, except some girls' fantasies, but I can't do anything about that."

"I'm sorry, Felicia, I know he's your friend. And maybe I was too quick to judge him. It's just..."

"He reminds you of someone else, believe me, I get it." I told him truthfully. As much as I hated to admit it, I did the same with Jean. I projected Mary Jane and my animosity towards her onto Jean to the point where I couldn't distinguish them and so, maybe, sometimes, I had been a little bit too harsh on her. But just maybe. "But he's really cool. If you give him the chance."

Bobby offered me a small smile. "I'll try."

"What about us? Are we cool?"

His smile grew bigger. "Of course. Sorry if I was unfair to you."

"I apologize too." I said, pulling him into a hug. When I was about to pull aside some guy passed by us and whistled.

"Spider-Man, Iceman... who is it going to be next? Ironman?" He asked.

"What?" Bobby asked, confused. The guy just smirked and switched on the television and I immediately cursed under my breath when images of me and Spider-Man fighting the attackers flooded the screen. I tried preparing for the tsunami, but it was like an adult wearing armbands to a children's swimming pool. Totally and utterly useless.

"FELICIA!" Bianca shouted, all of her lively like a cartoon come to life. "You've met Spider-Man?"

Everyone in the room went quiet to hear my answer, as the commentators talked about the possible identity of this "mysterious girl" and her connection to the Friendly Neighborhood.

"I thought the entire mansion knew by now."

"Well, I'm sorry that we were too busy with your party's preparations to watch the news." Lewis said sarcastically, clearly enjoying my uncomfortable state. He was one of those friends that loved to see us in a little trouble, but that would always have our backs in the big ones.

"So?" Bianca pressed when I kept silent. "What was it like?"

I smirked, deciding to get back at her for her previous words. "Magnetic." Besides, I wasn't too far from the truth either. It was a different kind of magnetism, but still.

"Oh, please, that's all we're gonna get?"

"Yup." I grinned mischievously. "If you want to, though, feel free to hear the suppositions made up by the media. I'm sure they'll make a show or comic book about us soon."

"Felicia, if you don't tell us anything more you're not getting the cake." Bianca threatened playfully.

"I don't mind."

"Believe me, you'll want to see the cake." Lewis retorted, and because it was Lewis, I believed him.

"Fine. Spider-Man smells like baby powder. There. Happy?" Everyone realized I was joking and went back to partying, but Bianca came closer to me, making up a pretty good puppy dog eyes expression.

"Pretty please?"

"Bianca, please, don't insist. I don't want to gossip about him."

The way I said those three little letters made her eyes widen in understanding.

"Oh my God, Felicia... it's him, isn't he? The guy who broke--"

"My heart." I nodded. There was no use in lying. "Yes."

"I'm so sorry, Felicia, I didn't want to... if I had known..."

"It's okay, Bi. That's why I was in New York. I solved things out with him. I'm good. I realized my heart is not broken anymore. It kinda feels... brand new, actually."

Bianca offered me her kind, big grin. "I'm so happy for you! But I'm here for you if you need."

I smiled. "I know, I'm here for you too. Now, can I please get that cake?"

***

"I can't believe this!" I laughed when Bianca unveiled the cake in front of me. A delicious cake with Captain America's image as topping. "Have I told you I love you guys?"

"Honestly, I'm a little hurt, Felicia." Alex pouted. "I can't believe he's your favorite superhero. Have you forgotten about this Adonis right here?"

"Dude, don't try to compare yourself to Steve Rogers. It's embarrassing and you're only gonna get hurt." Roberto mocked. "No one compares to him."

I high fived him, happy to see he was on my team. But some people felt differently.

"In boredom? Yeah, you're right. Iron Man seems way more fun." Alex teased, still faking heartbreak. "I doubt Rogers knows how to have a good time. He's basically the grandfather of the Avengers."

"So is Logan for the X-Men." Bianca replied, winking playfully at me.

"Which proves my point." Alex retorted. "Those two wouldn't be able to have fun even if their lives depended on it. I bet they could go into a circus and make the clowns cry."

"Yeah, Logan would do that." Rogue said, and we all agreed. "But why is no one talking about Thor? I mean, have you seen the man?"

"You mean the God?" Bianca said eagerly. "He is so fine. But then again, so is Loki. Yes, yes, I know he's evil but..."

"But they're the hottest!" A girl intervened while many guys rolled their eyes, though I could hear them speak with each other about Black Widow and Emma Frost. "How about that new one that appeared in January? The Winter Soldier, I think that's what they called him?"

I felt a violent sting hit my heart at the mention of that name. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, or the organization behind it. When all that mess had happened, back in January, I tried staying away from the news as much as possible, but I was scared all the time. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, and HYDRA was involved, and everything was chaos. I wondered if that's why, a few months later, in September, Charles had gotten to me and asked me to join his school. He must have thought that with the confusion, it was a good time to get to me. They wouldn't notice me because they were too busy securing their structures and handling the consequences of S.H.I.E.L.D. exposing their secrets to the world. Luckily, mine hadn't been. They must have deleted them or store them elsewhere to hide their own failure.

"Oh my God, yes!" Another girl exclaimed. "He's so freaking hot they should call him the Summer Soldier."

"Have some respect for the people he killed, please." I said, my angry voice claiming everyone's attention. "He's not a fictional character you can just fantasize about. He's a real human being and a very dangerous one too. Besides, you don't... you don't know him. You don't know the things he may have gone through to end up that way."

"And you do?" Lewis probed with concerned eyes. As always, he had seen more in my face and hear more in my words than what I had shown.

"No, but... we never know for sure. Heroes and villains, that's such a reducting way of dividing the world. I'm sure there's many people that fall in the grey area between them. We never know what truly lies behind someone's mask, not even when we take it off."

"Add that to the list." Alex said. "Felicia is also one to go to the circus and make the clowns cry."

"Hey!" I protested, but smiling because Alex always knew how to ease the tension. "I know how to have a good time."

He leaned towards me, smiling teasingly. "Then prove it."

***

"Hothead!" I called once I was in the center of the room, ready to bring the house down. "Wanna join me?"

I saw his eyes widen in surprise and then a sided smile formed on his lips.

"Are you sure, angel eyes? I might set the stage on fire, you know." He said, glancing at Bobby in a mocking manner. Those two loved taunting each other so much I wondered if their zodiac signs were opposites too.

"I'll freeze you before you even have the chance." Bobby replied dryly, which just stirred Lewis up.

"How about we give it a try, then?" Lewis snapped his fingers, making a small flame erupt from them. Bobby became instantly alert, but Lewis just laughed it off and joined me in front of the karaoke machine. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course." I said, handing him one of the microphones. I knew Lewis wanted to feel included for once, and what better way to do it then charming everyone with his vocals? Unless they sucked, which was a risk I was willing to take. You knew a friendship was true when you were willing to make a fool of yourself together.

"Ok, I've chosen the song! Ready?" Alex asked with a big, up to no good grin. Lewis and I nodded and when the first notes filled the room, we stared at each other and laughed. Animal by The Cab. Of course Alex would choose something like this.

Anyone else would probably feel embarassed, but Lewis and I didn't care what others thought. We were face to face, we were in tune and so we dove headfirst into the song.

Baby girl I'm not quite human
And I'm not quite a machine
So I guess that leaves you staring
At something that's somewhere in between

As soon as we began singing, people started cheering, whistling and singing along. I smiled when Lewis did, witnessing how amazed he felt by the crowd reactions to him. If he would just give himself a chance, he'd see. He was a snake charmer with the world at his feet.

Yeah, I'm another, hungry lover
But I was born a different breed
I can shake you, but then I'll break you
And baby sweat is guaranteed

Lewis and I were facing each other now, smiling and dancing like the rest of the world was only static noise. Whether in the maze, at the beach or here, we always managed to get away to a different space. Some people made you travel through yourself. They took you away from where you were and showed you all the other places in which you could be.

I wish I could give you my love and my soul
But inside my chest there is nobody home

Relatable, I thought, and then Lewis started playing with his shirt buttons, making some of the girls scream louder as if they were in a concert and Lewis was the melancholic, unattainable band leader that made bras fly to the stage. He already had the long hair and fiery attitude.

My heart may be missing
But my hands will make up for it
Don't think this is innocent
I'll sink my teeth right into it

All of a sudden, Lewis had taken off his shirt and thrown it to the crowd, his muscles flexing with his every move. I noticed Bobby shaking his head, especially when Rogue cheered him on.

My eyes and my mouth agree
You'll be coming home with me
'Cause girl you know, 'cause girl you know
'Cause girl you know, I'm an animal
Animal
I'm just a animal
Animal

While Lewis showed off his moves, dragged everyone else into his rhythm and pumped bodies with energy, I thought I heard something, but with the sound of the music and the crowd I wasn't sure. Not two lines after, I got the confirmation.

Girl you locked the door behind you
When you walked into my room

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS---"

Appearing out of nowhere, Logan abruptly shut up when his eyes landed on the scene in front of him. A crowd of wild teenagers running on adrenaline in front of Lewis and I, two wannabe singers dancing around each other. Then, for some reason, his eyes got stuck on me, and he didn't say another word.

Lewis and I shared a cheeky glance. We had been the only ones to notice Logan, since everyone else had their backs to him and hadn't heard him. From that moment on, my eyes never moved from Logan again.

And your eyes have got me thinking
That maybe there's a different side of you
'Cause when I'm attacking, your nails are scratching
So I wonder could it be
That when your clothes fall to your feet
You could be an animal like me

While Lewis entertained the crowd and gathered their attention, I felt detached from them, pulled into another dimension where those big brown eyes took the place of the sun. There it was, the magnetism Bianca had talked about. I knew it, I felt it, and I hated not knowing if Logan felt it too. The worst part of a connection was when it was one-sided. Just ask teens without Wi-Fi.

I wish I could give you my love and my soul
But inside my chest there is nobody home

Maybe it was just my impression, but I thought I saw Logan wince slightly at those words. His eyes hadn't moved away from mine one inch, even if next to me Lewis was getting more and more hyped, tossing his long hair around like a true rock star.

My heart may be missing
But my hands will make up for it
Don't think this is innocent
I'll sink my teeth right into it

Logan raised an eyebrow at that, with the side of his lip curling up in defiance. Prompted by his reaction, I continued singing and dancing, aware that my voice had dropped to a more seductive tone.

My eyes and my mouth agree
You'll be coming home with me
'Cause girl you know, 'cause girl you know
'Cause girl you know, I'm an animal
Animal
I'm just a animal
Animal

Once the music ended, Lewis had a grin on his face and sweat sliding down his muscles. Alex, Roberto and some others were wolf whistling while the others clapped and chanted. Me, on the other hand, bit my bottom lip as Logan finally decided to make his presence noticed, making his way towards us with his eyes still attached to mine. Suddenly I felt vulnerable in front of him, because Logan made me go weak at the knees. Seriously, how many times could one fall for the same thing?

"What the hell is going on here?" His voice boomed across the basement, scaring everyone that hadn't noticed him yet. His face was a cocktail of annoyance, anger and something else. Almost like despair. "You guys were making too much noise. You might be nightcrawlers, but there are people here trying to sleep."

"We're sorry, sir." Bianca said on behalf of everyone. There was a strange layer to her tone, though, as if she knew whatever she said would calm him down. "But it's Felicia's birthday."

"What? I, uh..." His eyes darted to me and I felt overcharged, like a battery that never unplugged. For the first time, he looked embarrassed. His features softened. Bianca smirked. "I didn't know that. Happy birthday, Felicia."

My heart tugged at my chest with all of its strings. It was so painful, this thing between us.

"Thank you, Logan." I smiled at him, and I had the impression we stayed like that for a while, just him and me and this annoying thing pulling me towards him.

"Like I said," Bianca interrupted our silence, "when you two are in the same room, it's magnetic."

I moved my eyes to her and Logan cleared his throat.

"Ok, well, that doesn't justify the noise you were making. Please keep it down or I'll have to end the party. Also," he gestured with his chin towards Lewis, "why the hell are you shirtless?"

Lewis' smirk popped up in his lips. "Too much hotness, sir."

"You should put on the shirt to preserve it, then, 'cause I'm sure it won't last long." Logan observed, gaining some chuckles. His eyes stopped on mine again. "I'm gonna get going, then. Felicia, when you have the time, I need to talk to you."

"I..." For some reason, even though his stare on me was unbearable, I didn't want to see him go. "Don't you wanna stay? Have some cake?"

Me and everyone in the room thought it was senseless to ask. He'd never say yes. But my mouth couldn't keep quiet when all of my nerves were yelling.

"Okay." He ended up saying. "It's a good way to keep an eye on you as well."

My heart skipped a beat at those words. I didn't know if he was refering to all of us or just me.

"Felicia, what are you doing?" Alex whispered to me as I moved towards the table where the cake was. "I know you and him are... well, I don't know what you two are, but Logan is going to ruin all the fun."

"Not while I'm here, Alex." I smirked. "Logan? Fork or spoon?"

"You can just give me a napkin, I'll be fine."

"No, we have manners here." I teased him, which, as I suspected, was enough for him to come closer to me. I shivered when his breath fanned my neck as he took a good look at the cake, where Steve Rogers' gorgeous face was still very much noticeable, since I warned everyone that that piece was off limits.

"Wait, why is Captain America's face on the cake?" Logan asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Why, you want me to eat your face too?, the thought ran through my mind so abruptly I bit my tongue violently. What the hell, Felicia? Control yourself. You can't let him know. You should never have given him so much power over you in the first place. Now the smallest thing he does affects you to the fullest.

"He's Felicia's ideal guy." Lewis provoked with an impish smile. Logan's brows furrowed further, this time grumpily. And it was driving me crazy, having no idea what that meant. What ran through his head about me. If I crossed his mind as much as he crossed mine.

"Your face was not available." I smirked at Logan to dissipate some of the tension, but it was slick and thick between us. "The bakery said it was too rough to make."

Logan tried fighting it, but a small smile bloomed in his lips. He grabbed a fork and a plate and handed them to me.

"Just make sure I don't get any part of America's Golden Boy on my slice."

***

Once the party was over, I said goodnight to my friends and decided to go to bed so I could finally have some sleep. Logan had left the party shortly after eating the cake, and I had missed his presence as he was still leaving.

Before I could get to my room, though, I was once more intercepted. I was about to snap at whoever it was until my eyes landed on Logan, and every vein in me immediately felt wide awake.

"Felicia? Do you mind if we talk now? I mean, I can wait until tomorrow but--"

"It's fine." I said, my noice neutral as to not give away any clue of my turmoil. I knew what he wanted to talk about, I just didn't know if I wanted to hear it.

"The attic?" He suggested and I nodded in agreement. We made our way there in silence, the only sound coming from our chests. My heartbeat was slightly faster than his, but not by much.

We sat on the floor, in front of each other. It was becoming a habit, our late night talks in unusual places. I wondered what other people would say if they found out, and then I decided I didn't give a fuck.

"I saw you on the news today." He started, his voice calm and steady. I would have cracked a joke like "Did I look good on camera?" if I wasn't so tense. "Are you alright?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Yes. Thank you for asking, though."

"It was reckless of you, Felicia. You shouldn't have gone there, not alone. What if your powers had failed? What if the bullets..."

Logan trailed off, seemingly uncapable of forming such thought. My heart ached, in the desperate need of helping his.

"But they didn't. I'm fine. Besides, shouldn't I trust my power? It was a good way to test it."

"You can test it in class. Not when your life is on the line!" Logan exclaimed, his voice raising.

"I didn't have any other option." I admitted. "I couldn't let those people suffer."

"I know." His voice was softer now, so soft I wanted to caress it. "And I'm really proud of you."

"Really?" A lopsided smile spread on my lips.

"Of course. But that doesn't mean I can't be mad at you as well. If you had let me go with you like I asked---"

"No." I shook my head resolutely. "This was something I needed to do alone."

"To find him? Spider-Man?" He asked, his voice a mere whisper now. I saw in his eyes that he had guessed it. I nodded, uncapable of speaking over the lump in my throat. "Because you still love him?"

I closed my eyes abruptly, not because of what he had said but how he had said it. He sounded so unsure, so... vulnerable. When I didn't answer him, he nodded, breathing heavily. "I see."

"No!" I said, because I couldn't stand the thought of him misunderstanding my silence. Goddammit, how could he not see? When it was so damn palpable? "It's not that. Yes, you guessed it, Spider-Man was the guy that saved me when I was sixteen. The guy I fell madly in love with and who broke my heart. But I don't love him anymore, not in that way. He still has a part of my heart, but that's just it."

"So you made peace?"

"Yeah, we sorted things out. And I'm happy we did."

"That's good." He said, but he wasn't smiling. "So I can assume Spider-Man is Harry Osborn?"

"No, Harry is just... an old acquaintance." I swallowed hard when I thought about our kiss, and how I had longed for Logan's lips when I was tasting his. "Since he was trying to find me, I thought maybe it was on behalf of Spider-Man. But it wasn't, Harry was just messing with me. But then that thing in the square happened and I reunited with Spider-Man."

"Well, I'm glad he was there when I couldn't." Logan muttered, almost grouchy.

I grinned. "Don't worry, Logan, you'll have plenty of opportunities to save me." You already have, so many times. "No need to to get all jealous."

"I'm not jealous." Logan growled, making me feel things that I shouldn't. He disordered my whole system. All of my emotions seemed reversed, and right. "I'm just looking out for you."

"I swear, Logan, if you say because I'm your student..." I said without thinking. But I really, really couldn't stand that excuse. It made me feel like everyone else, and it hurt, because Logan always made me feel so damn different. With him everything was always different.

"No." He shook his head. "Because you're you."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I inquired, slightly angry and tired of all the subtext and underlying messages and this freaking tension that just couldn't seem to vanish.

His eyes seemed to pin me down, his tongue ran over his bottom lip. Come closer, I begged, offer me a gift.

"It means I would die for you."

My breath got all jammed in my throat as my heart contracted in pangs.

"And that I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"I... I know how that feels." I said, my voice a murmur. "Because I feel the same way about you."

His eyes widened in shock and I rolled my eyes at how oblivious he was. Did I need to draw him a map to my heart or what? Then his mouth shaped a smile, and it was the best birthday gift I'd ever had.

"I wish I would have known sooner that it was your birthday... I would have gotten you something."

You have already gotten me so much.

"It's okay." I smiled. "I don't really care about birthdays anymore."

"I know how that feels." He nodded. "Still, I would have liked to give you something to thank you for... what you did for me the other night at the lake. When you took all that pain from me."

I wanted to ask him if he only meant it literally or figuratively as well, but I didn't. I could be brave in front of bullets, but I was a coward when it came to feelings.

"Well then, if you insist... you could tell me about you. I mean, you know a lot about me and my past, but I don't know much about yours. I'd like to know, but only if you want to tell, of course."

Unlike what I was expecting, one side of his lips arched up.

"Curiosity killed the cat." Logan responded, passing a hand through is messy hair. I rolled my eyes at his joke. "I guess there's a lot to talk about and nothing to say, honestly."

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to." I assured him, already guessing that he wouldn't say a thing. But yet again, Logan surprised me.

"No, it's fine. I was born in 1832 in Canada."

I couldn't stop my eyes from widening slightly. He was older than what I thought.

"You seem very fit for your age." I chuckled, though his lifetime was weighing on me. He had seen and done so much more than me, been with so many people. How the hell would I stand out among all his memories? I was just an extra in his stage trying to be the main star. And he would never give me the leading role.

"When I was 13 years old, I was sick and my friend Victor visited me. Then my father, John Howlett, came to check in on me. Some time later, our groundskeeper, Thomas Logan, entered our house, drunk, looking for my mother, Elizabeth Howlett. Turns out he had been having an affair with her. My father went downstairs to talk with Thomas and they had a confrontation. Then the gunfire began. I still remember the sound of the first shot. I got out of my bed immediately, but when I got to John, he was already dead. Thomas had shot him."

Logan's voice was carefully bottled up, as if someone had tried to trap a storm inside a bottle. But the fine glass was cracking. His eyes were raw, holding a primitive rage which dated back centuries. And even though I was much younger than him, I knew that rage. That basic instinct of destruction that started with ours.

"John's death was what triggered my dormant X-Gene." Logan continued. "Suddenly I had bone claws coming out of my fists and begging for blood."

I moved my eyes away from him. I couldn't handle the parallels. I couldn't stand the thought of Logan having suffered as much, or even worse, than I had.

"There was no space in my mind for questions. All I could feel was this basic rage. I ran towards Thomas, who pointed his rifle at me, but my mother stopped him. And so I impaled him. I killed Thomas." Logan stopped to look at me, searching for any sign of repulse or hatred in my face. But he didn't find any. I nodded subtly at him. I understand. He was just a kid. I was just a kid. And the world had made us grow old in a matter of seconds. "But before Thomas died, he called me... son. He told me that he was my real father. I was a product of his affair with my mother. I watched my biological father die at my hands without even having known him for real."

"I'm sorry." I said desperately, trying to make him see how I felt for him. It was hideous, how a scar that had happened so long ago could still burn this bright. "I really am."

Logan nodded at me, and I had a feeling he knew how desperate and helpless I was feeling face to face with his past. Because he had felt the same with mine. And as much as we wanted, neither of us could punch each other's past.

"My mother was horrified with me. She couldn't even look me in the eye. She asked me what I was. I didn't have an answer for her. She didn't want me there, I could see. So I ran away. I found Victor, who told me he was my half-brother. He was Thomas Logan's son as well. He had a similar mutation to mine, and so we ran into the woods."

Logan looked at me, and I nodded for him to continue.

"Over the next one hundred and twenty years or so, Victor and I fought together as Canadian mercenaries for the United States in many occasions. The American Civil War on the Union side. World War I on the Western Front, World War II with the Allies. We were there, in the D-day Invasion."

My eyebrows shot up at the same time as my respect for him. Logan had helped make history. He had seen the worst of the worldand still had fought for mankind over and over again. He saw himself as a beast, yet he had never lost sight of his humanity.

"If you're stunned, wait until you hear who I fought alongside with in World War II." Logan said, a small smirk resting on his enticing lips.

"Who?"

"Guess."

"I don't know!" I said. "Wait, do I know him?"

"I bet you wish you did."

"Oh my God, is it Captain America?"

Logan let out a low, coarse chuckle. "Bull's-eye."

"That's woow... Captain America is just... woow."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Do you two keep in touch?" I questioned with hopeful eyes.

"Once in a while. I'll make sure to take you with me if I meet him again."

I hung a puckish smile on my lips. "Are you sure I won't be third wheeling?"

His eyes bored into my own, asking for space. Take it all, I thought, all I can feel in me is you anyway.

"I'm pretty sure I'd be the third wheel in that situation."

Not if you keep looking at me like that.

"He's your ideal type of guy, right?" He stressed, his voice concealed. Hidden from itself. "You like the good guys, I see."

"No." I shook my head. "My ideal type of guy is someone who wrestles their dark side on their own so they can show their good one to the world."

I bit my lip. I couldn't tell him anymore without betraying myself. I couldn't be more direct. It was as if someone had grabbed a knife and carved Logan into my heart. When I looked up at him, his eyes were hovering over my mouth. All I wanted was for him to land, but I was too afraid he'd crash.

"Why weren't you or any of the mutants in the Battle of New York?" I changed the subject, hoping it wouldn't be too suspicious.

"New York is not the only city that needs protection. At that time our team was scattered, running different missions on various parts of the world, trying to bring the Brotherhood of Mutants down. New York had the Avengers. But what about all those lost mutants around the world the media forgets about? The minorities humans choose to ignore? If the Avengers failed, we would try to help, of course. But we're also aware of how differently people see us. The world may love the Avengers, but it's still not the safest place for the X-Men. All we have is an extra gene, and yet that defines us and sets us apart for the rest of our lives. And it seems like no heroic gesture can cancel that. Prejudice is proof resistant like that."

I nodded. I understood. Someone had to work in the shadows for others to shine.

"What about you? Were you in New York at that time?" Logan asked curiously. It still felt strange yet gratifying when this disinterested man showed interest in something. In me.

"No. I was in college in 2012, far away. But I saw it on the news, and all I could think about was 'Please let Spider-Man be okay, please don't let him die or so help me God I will kill Loki myself'. As much as I hate to admit it, I think being worried about his safety was one of the main reasons that made me graduate early and return to New York. So, while many people were leaving the city in fear something happened again, I was running towards it. Once I got there, New York was still recovering from the invasion, but at least I learned Spider-Man was fine. Then I fell back into my old habits of stealing and you know the rest. But back to you..."

"Around 1960 Charles and Erik tried to recruit me for their new X-Men team. My answer wasn't exactly the kindest."

I chuckled. "I can imagine."

"In the 70s, Victor and I fought in the Vietnam War. But he was growing increasingly violent, resembling more and more like a beast with each passing day. He went berserk, and I protected him. We almost got killed, but survived due to our healing factors. That's when we... got caught up with William Stryker's military mutant unit called Team X."

The tone of his voice got lower, but his rage got higher. I was sensing nothing good was coming, and instinctively moved closer to him.

"During one of our missions, we were sent to search for a mysterious meteorite in Lagos, Nigeria. We later discovered it was Adamantium."

I shifted uncomfortably, knowing what that word meant to him. My fingers reached for his hand and somehow, he didn't stop me.

"And it completely got out of my control. Stryker had no mercy. No compassion. He would slaughter entire villages just to get the tiniest bit of information about the origin of the meteorite. And Victor... Victor was okay with it. I watched as he killed innocent civilians without a pang of guilt. It wasn't the Victor I knew. So I left Team X."

Unconsciously, I entwined my fingers with his just to let him know I was there. That this right here was real, not what whas happening inside his mind. He squeezed my hand lightly in appreciation.

"About six years later, I ran into Victor again. We fought savagely. He broke my claws on my left hand and left. The next morning, I woke up in an emergency room, and Stryker was there. He told me he could help me get revenge on Victor, but for that I had to endure an experimental procedure. I shouldn't have said yes, but I did. I agreed to it, even if I told him all I wanted was revenge. I refused to be used as one of his weapons. Yet that's exactly what they turned me into. Weapon X."

My fingers tightened around his with comforting pressure. I was trying so hard to contain my own fury. Suddenly it was not just Logan's pain, or just mine, it was ours, tangled together with no beginning and no end.

"They bound adamantium to my bones. I overheard Stryker say he wanted my memories erased so he could use my DNA for whatever project he had in mind. I fleed again."

"What is it with these fucking assholes," I muttered ferociously, "always trying to turn others into killing machines? Why don't the cowards endure the procedures themselves?"

"They're monsters. I guess they want to create others so they don't feel so alone." Logan declared, playing with the dog tags on his chest. I could see the name "Logan" and "Wolverine" written on them, along with identification numbers. "Sometime after, Victor and I crossed paths once more. I told him I didn't want anything more to do with him. He told me we were brothers, that we'd never be finished with one another, bt then he fled. I haven't seen him since then."

Logan's eyes were immobile, but statues could tell stories and make history too. I could see Victor would forever be an open wound on his soul's flesh.

"Soon after, Stryker got to me and pierced my brain with adamantium bullets. I lost my memory. I lost everything that I had already lost, again. I was just a savage for a while, no longer in touch with the human in me. I had no place to go and no clue as to who I was."

Logan took a deep breath, as if the memory was too painful to relive. I tried to imagine what it must felt like, having our entire beings ripped out from us like that. They had tried the same with me and failed, but with others they succeeded. Now those people were ghosts, a mere yesterday with no forward.

"That's when I encountered Elektra." He continued. "She had been sent to kill me, but she didn't. To this day I'm still not sure why. Instead she helped me regain some of myself again, find the human I thought lost. We fought side by side, saved each other lives more times than I can count."

Ah. So that's why they were so important to each other. It made sense now.

"Then we ended up following our own ways. She had her methods, I had mine. Her drive was killing. Mine was surviving. For the first decade of this century I was making a living fighting in cages. That's when I met the X-Men and finally joined them."

"Who gave you your memories back?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew.

"Jean." Of course. And in turn you gave her your heart.

"So is that why you use the name Logan?" I questioned, trying to get my mind away from that dead end. "To honor Thomas?"

"Yes." He nodded. "And to remind me there was once a time when I was more than a beast."

"Can I see them?" I blurted out, because it pained me the way he saw himself. It was miles away from how I saw him, and light years away from how he was. "Your claws?"

Logan's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Why would you want to--"

"Just trust me." I said and without diverting his stare from mine, he made his claws come out of his skin. He didn't wince once, but I bet it had hurt. I bit my lip, hesitantly. His claws intimidated me and lured me in equal parts. The contradiction I had drawn so long ago.

I moved my hand towards them, almost in a trance. I could feel the blazing tingle on my fingertips, calling for his. My own claws were hypnotized, as if they were meant for this. When my fingers touched his claws, Logan shifted ever so slightly in his place. The metal was cold against my skin. Carefully, I slid my fingers down his claws until I reached his knuckles. The contrast between the rigid, polished surface and his rough, rugged skin was maddening.

I moved my hand away suddenly, causing Logan to groan lowly in protest. His eyes urged mine, and so I put my hand on top of his this time. His fists were clenched, and my fingers slithered in to stretch them. I extended my fingers over his before wrapping them around his claws.

"Felicia..." Logan let out, his eyes pulling me in. I was accepting his claws, and therefore all of him, the good and the bad and the inbetween, and he knew it.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No." He said just above a whisper. He let his head rest on the wall behind him, closing his eyes. I put my fingers above his again, this time to let my claws come out of my nails. Then I started sliding down his claws with mine, and the feeling was more powerful than what I was prepared for. Like an eclipse of metal, painted by scars but written in the stars. Logan opened his eyes abruptly, his body struck by shudders.

"I... did this hurt?"

"No." He said, breathing heavily. "No, it felt... it felt good."

"Tell me, Logan," I leaned into him, my claws scratching his slowly, provokingly, inevitably. "How can something that feels this good have anything beastly about it?"

"I..." Logan made his claws retract and grabbed my hand in his, intertwining our fingers firmly. Then the tips of his fingers grazed my claws and I bit my bottom lip hard to prevent me from screaming. I had tears in my eyes at how right this felt. Like the things inside our skins had longed for each other for so long and had now assembled and fit, humanizing each other. Like this was what they had been made for. "Felicia, is there anything else you want to know?"

"Yes." I still had questions, but only one mattered. I smiled at him, tightening my fingers around his to thank him for sharing his story with me. "How do you feel?"

"Right now?" He asked, looking at our entangled hands. "I've never felt more human."

A/N: Phew, that was intense! Song for this chapter is 'Animal' by The Cab and picture is just a depiction of these two lovebirds holding hands because why not? ;)