C H A P T E R   2 :   A R E   W E   T H E R E   Y E T

A week passed since the strange encounter with the three mutants and still I hadn't decided what to do. That didn't stop me from returning some of the jewels, though, they were weighing in my conscience. The media was going crazy over my most recent strike, but fortunately the guy I had made out with didn't mention that fact, they never did: guess it hurt too much knowing he had been beaten by the girl he thought was at his feet.

Walking back and forth in the small apartment I owned, I weighed the pros and cons. I wasn't proud of my life, and Charles seemed to know that. I knew there were other, more legal ways to gain money. It wouldn't be difficult for me to find a job, but rules, routines and boredom were my pet peeves. Stealing was easy and fun. Even the planning part was effortless for me. Natural. Like father, like daughter, I guessed.

Much of what I had learned about robberies came from my father. He was a thief himself, I guess I just followed his steps. At first he didn't want to take me with him, but I started complaining so much he eventually gave in and decided to train me. He used to say apart from having me that was the best decision he had ever made. I was sneaky, elusive and smart, so soon enough he discovered I was an ally and quite useful as well. Our father-daughter moments basically consisted in trespassing and robbing. In such circumstances, of course our bond got stronger.

I paused, shaking my head. In the present, I stole because it was dangerous and exciting and that contradiction made me feel... alive. I guess that's what I loved more, doing something so wrong that felt so right. Something that could get me killed and simultaneously was the only thing that made me feel like I was finally living. If I found something else that gave me those emotions... yes, I could stop stealing. But what other thing could possible do that to me?

I guess I would only find out if I gave it a try. With a renewed determination feeding me, I went into my room and started packing the essential things. For a cat burglar, I was quite humble. Most of the money I made with the jewels was guarded safely because I wasn't as careless as I pretended to be. I cared about me. I cared about my future, and mainly about getting there.

Survival instincts were also enhanced in me.

Questions and doubts were attacking my mind like bullets. Was going the right decision? Was this school a good place? Was it safe? Did it really exist in the first place? Would I... fit in?

If not for anything else, at least it would be wise to disappear from the radar for sometime. The police was more attentive since my last theft and would reinforce the searching. As Felicia Hardy I kept a discreet life, but one never knows. At least, as Black Cat I had left in style.

Left. Urgh, I had already made up my mind, hadn't I?

***

Even before I opened the building's door, I had a feeling they were already there. I had a lot of feelings, now that I thought about it. Perhaps in this school I'd be able to learn more about what seemed to be a sixth sense.

This time, Jean and Scott weren't with Charles. Instead, standing by his side was a woman with dark skin and platinum blonde hair pretty much like mine, who smiled a little once she noticed my hair, and I couldn't help but smile back. Already so much nicer than Jean.

"Hello, Felicia." Charles greeted me with a small smile. He was keeping away from my mind, good. I admired him for that. If I had a power like his I didn't know if I'd been able to resist the temptation of being inside people's brains all the time. Charles was respecting me, which made me respect him in return.

"Hello." I said back, a little unsure, grabbing the strap of my bag firmly. From the corner of my eye I could see my motorbike parked. If I could at least take it with me... just so it could give me a sense of belonging, a sense of me.

"Felicia, this is Ororo Munroe, also known as Storm. She is one of our most beloved teachers, and also an important member of the X-Men."

So I was right! Wait, wasn't there a bulky guy with claws in that group? Fuck, I should pay more attention to the news sometimes.

"So I assume you form storms?" I asked as a greeting.

"More accurately, I can control and manipulate the weather, but yes. It's nice to finally meet you, Felicia." Storm smiled again, distracting me from my thoughts. She seemed nice, but the kind of nice you don't want to mess with. In some deep part of me, I envied that. The ability to be kind to a world so cruel. Maybe it simply wasn't cruel to everyone. As for me, I wasn't nice. I was the kind of mess you didn't mess with. "I'm sure you must be feeling nervous about this, thinking whether or not it's the right decision. Many before you have been in your shoes, believe me. And most are happier than they've ever been. You're in good hands."

I gave her a short nod in appreciation. Reassuring words didn't always calm us down, but were always nice to hear. Especially when meaningful and honest.

"Since you're here, you know I've decided." I said, turning to Charles. "So, will you show me this school of yours now?"

"Yes." He nodded. "It's located in Salem Center, in the Westchester County. Will you mind going in the car with us? I know you may want to take your bike, but if you decide to stay in our school you can then come back to get it and the rest of your things."

After some hesitance, I nodded. The idea of entering a car with strangers made me anxious. It was one of my triggers... dammit, I owned a freaking motorbike because I hated places I couldn't get away from easily. Some things just mark you like that. They damage you beyond repair. You never recover from them, not really. You just learn how to live with them and do the best that you can.

But, perhaps, just perhaps, I wanted to believe entering that car was a first step towards some form of recovery. A first mission accomplished. A first lesson learnt. A first fear faced. The first of many. Because I could kid everyone but I couldn't lie to myself. I wasn't okay. Hadn't been for a long while.

As I tried to keep my nerves under control, Charles led his wheelchair to a car parked in the street. Storm helped him get into the passenger seat and then she went to the driver's seat while I sat in the back. I thought about Storm's words and wondered how many students had been in my place before. If they had been just as scared. Just as curious. And if they were also a little bit excited. Expectations were growing on me, I just hoped they wouldn't be brutally ripped away.

"This school... will I be like training my abilities?" I questioned once Storm started driving. "Because I wouldn't exactly call it powers in the sense of... magical stuff, it's not like I can control the elements or do things with my mind or anything. I'm just good at martial arts and have more acute senses and reflexes than the normal human... hearing, smelling, speed..."

"Rule number one," Storm interrupted. Even in interrupting she was gentle. "Never tell anyone you don't know or trust about your powers. They can use it against you."

I swallowed, embarrassed. What a stupid mistake. I had let myself be carried by my own enthusiasm, but at least I hadn't told them about all of my skills.

"If I'm here," I opted to say instead, "shouldn't you already know what I'm capable of?"

From the rearview mirror I saw Charles smile at me. My eyes couldn't help but widen at the pride on his. It had been so long since someone had been proud of me... heck, I couldn't remember the last time I had been proud of me. Well, probably when I prevented a young girl from being assaulted by a bunch of older bastards. The best thing was seeing her days after proudly wearing a shirt with a fanart of Black Cat. I wish I could have signed it.

I didn't have a good reputation, yes, especially with the cops. But sometimes this antihero became the hero when facing a villain, which divided the media. Some hated me for my thefts (I was disrespectful and a rule breaker and an outlaw, and blah blah blah...), others praised the good actions I sometimes did, so some of my achievements were acclaimed and I already had quite a fanbase. There was merchandising. And I bet people even wrote fanfiction about me.

"Good point." Storm agreed. "In fact, we are aware that you have superhuman strength, speed, hearing, smelling, vision, resistance, flexibility and agility. You can see in the dark and climb walls with just your body. You have a regenerative healing factor, which means you heal quickly and are way less affected than normal people in things like extreme temperatures or big falls, infections, poisons or diseases, for instance. You have an almost indestructible immune system, therefore, big longevity. And you have claws."

"Check on all of the above." I muttered. It still bothered me a little realizing how much they knew about me. It made me wonder for how long they had been following me, and if there were others out there that could be doing the same. But then I thought about Charles' power and relaxed. They were privileged. I hadn't been that careless.

"Don't worry, Felicia." Charles interfered, his enigmatic smile back on. "You might not be able to move Earth or control things with your mind, but we assure you your powers are just as valuable. We have someone back at the Institute who's the living proof of that. He's... very similar to you, and I must tell you, he is as dangerous as the others..."

Charles went silent when Storm looked at him wearing a smirk. Then Charles sighed, nodded and smiled, agreeing with whatever she was thinking.

"You're right, he's even more dangerous than everyone else... he is very powerful and skilled, he will be of great help to you."

"How so?" I questioned, frowning while trying to conceal my curiosity. There was no harm in being too careful, you know what they say about cats...

"You'll see. I'm sure finding someone like you will make you understand your abilities and train them better. He shares some of your traits. You two have a lot in common."

"So he's the same as me?" I interrogated, displeased. I found comfort in being a rare gem. "Another Cat? The White Cat, perhaps?"

Charles shook his head.

"No. He's very different, and at the same time... very similar to you."

"I'm not seeing how that's possible."

"What you think is possible, my dear, will soon be put to the test. We're a school for the impossible. The outcasts, the outsiders and the loners. The ones who all their lives have been afraid of never fitting in. The ones who thought would never have a place in this society, a home where they'd feel welcome. We're a family for all those who've been rejected by them. A safe haven for those who've been through hell. The impossible awaits you, Felicia, and soon enough, you'll realize the impossible lives in you. It always has."

So why did you only come now?, I couldn't help but think, and it was either my impression or Charles had visibly flinched. Sometimes powers really were a curse. Despite some blessings, I knew mine were.

"That's what you'll learn at our school." Storm interfered, sensing Charles' discomfort. "How to beat the impossible. How to transform it. How to use it, and how to create it. How to be it."

I nodded. They sure knew how to pep talk. But in the back of my mind there was still something bothering me...

"I don't really like the fact of meeting someone else like me. I get that he might help me, but I don't want to have someone lecturing me like he knows me just because we have some things in common. I suffered a lot to be like this..." I admitted. "If I've been through hell, let me at least be unique. There can only be one Devil, right?"

"Don't worry, Felicia." Charles declared. "He won't make any assumptions, he'll let you develop for your own. You can trust him, I assure you."

"Fine." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Are we there yet?"

***

"Welcome to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." Charles said once we finally arrived at the institute, which was a big old mansion surrounded by green fields, woods, and even a lake. And it was damn real. The school motto was "mutatis mutandis", which basically meant "only the necessary changes had been made". I had no idea what that meant, but okay, everything sounded better in Latin anyway.

"More like welcome to Hogwarts." I muttered under my breath. My mouth fell agape as I looked through the window. There were students everywhere, all different from each other. It was like a living kaleidoscope: there was an entire spectrum of colors when it came to skin and hair, from blue to purple to green; some people had distinctive features, like strange wings, tails or faces, some were part animal or looked a little like aliens. I swallowed. They must had been through a hard time in the normal world, I could only imagine the rejection they must have suffered. The human being was too cruel to all those too different. I was glad they could at least have this.

I searched the crowd trying to find the guy Charles had told me about. The way he had spoke made me assume it was a teacher, but what if it was another student? And perhaps... even a hot one? Nah, I wasn't that lucky. I didn't see anyone with claws or resembling a cat, but that didn't matter much since my own claws were retractile. I only showed them to the world when needed, they hurt like hell. Over time, though, I had trained myself to ignore the pain, which along my superhuman resistance and my past had made me very tolerable to pain.

"As you can see, Felicia, we have in our school a wide range of mutants and powers. They come from all backgrounds, have all kind of stories and personality traits, but here is where they find their true selves. We all have one thing in common: we're home. And I sincerely hope you'll be too." Charles told me with a smile.

I allowed my lips to form a small smile and observed further. There were also other kids with a more normal appearance, but I bet their powers were anything but usual. I was mesmerized already. How did something like this even manage to exist? Hiding from the outside eye? Seeing so many students made me slighty uneasy though. Would I be at their level? Would my abilities match theirs? Would they... accept me? I was hard to deal with, I knew. I didn't trust people. But most of the time I also didn't care about what people thought about me. So why was that all of a sudden important here?

As long as no one bothers you and leaves you alone, you'll be fine, I thought. As soon as I got out of the car, though, I knew it would be impossible for me to keep a low profile. It wasn't my fault. Some people just naturally stood out in a crowd, whether they wanted it or not.

I used to love attention. The stares, the winks, the flirtatious smiles. But today I felt uncomfortable, like I was being tested. I was afraid that if I failed, if I said or did something wrong, I'd be sent away. Taking hope away from you after you've held it in your hands is just cruel.

As I looked around, trying to absorb every little detail, I heard people whispering about me, things like Damn, girl!; Look at that chick!; or Wow, who's that hottie?.

For some reason, the gallantry made me relax. In the middle of a world of strangeness, this was a familiar element.

Smirking ever so slightly, I avoided eye contact and followed Storm and Charles to the mansion. I noticed Jean Grey and Scott Summers talking and laughing, which made them seem less intimidating than before. They stared at me once I passed through them. Scott gave me a short nod in recognition. Jean just stared.

"Storm will show you the school." Charles informed me as we walked inside. My head was turning everywhere. I felt like a kid in Disneyland, and I didn't know this would have such an effect on me. I guess sometimes we only realized how much we wanted or needed something when we were confronted by it. "Once you finish your visit, please make sure to pass by my office to talk with me. I look forward to hear your answer."

"I'm sure you'll know it before I do." I replied with a small smile. Charles smiled as well and then disappeared into a room that I assumed was his office.

"So, Felicia, ready? What do you want to see first?" Storm questioned me.

"Everything but the classrooms." I assured while she smiled. "I didn't miss those."

***

For the next hour, with her eternal kindness, Storm showed me the inside of the mansion: the dorms, the living and leisure rooms, the library, the kitchen and the cafeteria, the observation tower, the infirmary, the training rooms and yes, even the dreaded classrooms . Afterwards we went outside and saw the basketball court, the swimming pool, the lake and even a maze! The gardens were all well treated, with flowers and fountains. The forest surrounding everything cloaked this paradise from the world's eyes and involved everything with a mystical vibe.

Everything was beautiful and clean. Everything was inviting me. The question was... was I ready to say yes?

"What classes would I have if I decided to stay and study here?" I inquired Storm near the lake. It was a really peaceful place. Since it was late September and it was still hot, there were some students in the water, swimming or sunbathing and resting in the towels. Simply having fun. Being normal in their own weird way. Being comfortable in their own skins. This wasn't fake happiness they were showing me in order to buy me, I could tell. It wasn't marketing. They weren't trying to sell me a product, simply showing me what I was missing.

"Every student has classes according to their power, so every schedule and study programme is personalized. We respect our students' needs and choices here, we don't give everyone the same plan since we know everyone is different." Storm answered, and it felt as if she was critizing the normal education system. I could agree with that. "Since your power leans more on the physical side you'd mainly have lessons that focus on combat training, martial arts, physical conditioning and fitness and overall techniques and methods that will help you improve your senses even more. On the theoretical part you'd have Genetics and Mutation, Biology and Chemistry to help you understand the science behind everything."

"I'd pass that part." I replied truthfully. It was a struggle of mine: I didn't hate myself but I hated what had happened to me. I was torn apart between my curiosity and my distaste towards what was inside of me. I really wanted to know, and, at the same time, I didn't want to find out because this had ruined my life so much in the past. Deep down I think I was afraid that finding more would trigger my memories. And all the agony.

The worst kind of nightmares are the ones you have wide awake. Those are the ones you truly can't escape from.

"Are you afraid of what you might find out? About yourself?" Storm inquired with a smile of empathy. There wasn't any pity in her eyes, just utter comprehension.

I thought about lying, Storm wouldn't know. She couldn't read minds, and I was an excellent liar. But something in her expression stopped me. She deserved the truth.

"I think so, yes. I'm afraid... I'm afraid I'll be defined or labeled by something that I did not choose. Something that's mine but that's not who I am."

Storm nodded in understanding, and when she spoke, there was fire in her tone and in her eyes. It became clear to me it wasn't just her hands that could create storms.

"Everyone is afraid of who they are in some moment of their lives. Everyone has a part of them they'd rather live without. The kids that arrive here... most of them are devastated. They've been living with something they know nothing about, something they can't control or understand. Something that has ruined their lives more than improved, something that made them stand out from the rest for the worst reasons and that set them apart. That turned them into pariahs. Many come here hating the X-Gene, because that's what they've been taught. If you hate what you can't comprehend, you'll mask the fact that in reality you simply fear what you can't comprehend."

She stopped to observe the teenagers. A guy clinging to a rope was throwing himself freely and happily into the lake while his friends laughed and cheered him. I felt a sting in my heart. Friendship. Seeing everyone having fun with others was a constant reminder of how alone I really was. I used to mock moments like these, but Storm was right. We hate and mock to hide our fear and pain, because we rather toy with other people's emotions than admit our own.

Another reason for me to give all of this a chance was the possibility of breaking my solitude.

"They face rejection over something that's not their fault." She continues. "They're completely pushed away by others, because it's so much easier to shut down than to try to see what lies beneath the surface. So these kids... they are so afraid of that part of them that it overpowers everything else. It makes them forget who they really are, doubt what truly matters. Many see themselves as monsters, and that... it breaks my spirit. It's what they've been raised to believe in. So, more than teaching mutants about the X-Gene, we're here to remind them of the humanity society has denied them. The humanity that connects us all. Mutants and non-mutants."

"I'll stay." I said, out of the blue. A speech such as this couldn't be a trap. There was so much sorrow and anger and frustration, and some emotions, or the intensity in it, you simply couldn't fake. Storm witnessed the world's worst side every time she welcomed a new kid. She cared; she got personally involved, which was dangerous but also incredibly brave. She suffered with them but supported them nonetheless. I didn't want to inflict on her the pain of seeing one of those kids turning their back on her.

I didn't want to turn my back on this.

Storm, teary-eyed, looked at me, surprised.

"Are you sure?"

I smirked. I felt close to her already.

"You can bet your ass I am."

She grinned and winked at me, visibly happy.

"I wouldn't bet my ass for anything, Felicia. But I'm glad to have you here."

A/N: Dedicated to British-idiot for the first comment on this story :)