C H A P T E R   13 :   H O W   T H E   W O R L D   E N D S

I couldn't sleep that night, so I went into the maze. It didn't make much sense to me the reason as to why the school would have one, but when I had asked Logan he simply shrugged it off with a "Charles must have his reasons". And I responded with "And here I was thinking you were training us to become Maze Runners." It amused me, their lack of knowledge of non-mutant culture.

I wasn't scared of getting lost, so I walked in and let myself be immersed inbetween the tall, pruned hedges. It would be a good exercise to use my senses, so I allowed them to guide me. The moonlight and my eyes were enough to orient me, and my mind quickly drifted towards everything that had happened. Talking to Logan had helped me in ways I didn't know one could be helped, but I knew I had a long way to go until I could become that Demon-winner he mentioned. There was a lot I needed to move on from, a lot of healing and fixing to do and it all seemed so damn slow. I needed recovery now.

I needed to know what it was like to feel alive.

Once I was already deep inside the maze, my nose caught the smell of smoke. It wasn't the same scent I always felt around Logan, though. It was smoke coming from a cigarette, not a cigar.

Unconsciously I followed the direction of the scent, like a lost traveller moving towards a bonfire, perhaps into a trap. At the center of the maze there was a bench. Sitting on it was Lewis Thompson, eyes closed and cigarette in his hand.

I sneaked closer to him without making a sound. I could hear in his breathing he wasn't asleep, but still I snatched the cigarette from his hand and put it out with my fingers. I felt a slight ache that quickly dissipated, and Lewis opened up one eye.

"Thief." He said simply, opening up his other eye and straightening himself.

I smirked. "I'm just preventing you from causing a damn fire."

"It surely wouldn't be the first time." Lewis stated, reaching for the pocket in his jacket to take another cigarette from the pack. I snatched the pack too. He just stared me wide-eyed.

"Also, smoking isn't good for your health."

Lewis laughed.

"I can control fire, girl. Do you think a cigarette will do any damage to me?"

"Now that you aren't alone anymore, you don't smoke." I grinned. "Simple as that."

Lewis rolled his dark brown eyes. "I didn't ask for your company."

"I don't recall asking for yours either." I smirked. In such a gloomy setting Lewis seemed even more mysterious, the faint light not enough to erase the shadows his hair created on his face. I could hear the calls of owls in the forest, but I doubted he could. I couldn't help but wonder if Logan managed to have some rest with so many noises always surrounding us. I knew how hard it was for me.

"Aren't you the girl that trains with Logan?"

I noticed how he didn't bother to treat Logan with a title. For some reason, that pleased me, but still I frowned and pursed my lips at the quick change of subject.

"What has that to do with anything?"

"Well, he's always with a cigar, you know. Does the scent bother you then?"

This time, he smirked. A smug smile of someone who knew had won the battle.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sat next to him. I looked up at the sky, into the stars. They mocked me for how distant they were too my problems. For how insignificant they showed me to be. And I loved them for always being there no matter where and how I was.

"Talking to you isn't exactly the same as talking to Logan." I ended up saying.

"And yet I heard you always respond to him in kind."

"Seems like you like to hear a lot of things about me, uh?" I smirked, remembering the first thing he had told me when we met in detention.

Lewis pressed his lips against each other and showed me the palm of his hand.

"Beautiful. But I don't do palm reading." I declared.

"Give me the pack." He answered simply, his eyes dancing with mine.

"If you decide to smoke again, I'll smash it with my fingers." I warned, letting the pack fall on his hand.

"Consider me warned."

"So is this what you do?" I inquired, looking around. It was such a peaceful place. So hidden. It made us feel far away from everything, yet still close to something. Maybe that was Charles intention. To give us a place where we could imagine we were in every place. All we had to do was look up at the stars. "You come here at night to smoke so nobody will know?"

"Will you keep my secret?" Lewis asked, a single eyebrow raised challengingly.

"Depends... what do I get in return?" I leaned towards him, just a bit, trying to get a glimpse of his soul.

"I'll help you get out of here." He responded, his voice low, almost husky, as he leaned to me too, his hair falling to his face dramatically. He moved it out of the way in a perfect rock star move.

I laughed. "I'm not lost, honey. I can find my way."

His eyes narrowed. "Are you sure? You seem lost. You seem like you need a map."

"I don't need a map, I need a GPS. But I don't know the coordinates to myself."

Lewis clicked his tongue and leaned back.

"Can't help you with that. Are you sure you don't wanna a cigarette?"

I wrinkled my nose.

"I'll never put in my body things that aren't good for me. I've had my share of those... against my will."

My eyes closed. I could feel the cold. Hear the metal. See the injections. Venom and poison. Chemicals and smoke. And the same voice, like the hiss of a snake. You're my machine. My creation, my invention... my religion. Death's best friend. The Killing of the killers.

There were no stars in that place. Not even a sky. Just a ceiling during day. And darkness at night.

"I'm sorry." Lewis said very quietly upon the bitterness in my voice. I didn't know what it was that lately had me confessing so much to so many, but I guessed talking played a part in healing.

"Me too."

We fell into silence, but it was the kind of silence both of us could hear.

"Everyone is broken in some way, you know? That's why I need this." He said after a while, raising the packet of cigarettes his hands had been playing with. "They keep my mind away from me."

I nodded. Sometimes we found understanding in people we thought would never understand.

"We're all addicted to something." I repeated the words Charles had told me. "Quote by Professor X."

Lewis smiled briefly. "What's yours?" He asked, curiosity beaming in his eyes. He had a piercing stare, it seemed so void. It made you want to be swallowed in darkness in hopes you'd find some light.

"Being a badass." I smirked, but then seriousness took over. "In reality... I guess fighting." And stealing.

"Well, at least it's healthy."

"Not if it turns into violence, and with me... the line is quite thin."

"I wish we could stick to the good parts of us and forget the rest." Lewis confessed, pulling his pink strand away from his face again. The way his hair constantly fell down to his eyes, shielding them. It was poetic. He had physical barriers. And he was constantly pushing them away. If I thought about it as a metaphor, Lewis was just someone hidden that wanted to be found. A loner in need of friends. I was probably just reading too much into it, though, like I usually did. "But it's like... flaws always matter more."

Oh, God, he's getting it right. Quick, tell a joke. Preferably not a dumb one.

"I came here to try and escape my melancholy. Not drowning in more." I mentally slapped myself for how silly my joke had been. To be honest... I was surprised. And happy. Lewis was deep. And I wasn't afraid of abysms. I had nine lives and always landed on my feet, right? What was there to fear? Maybe this midnight talk of us could become a habit. I heard it did wonders to your skin.

"You're not drowning." Lewis retorted with a half smile. "You're learning how to swim."

As if he had just said Abracadabra, I heard a big splash on the lake, like something had just been thrown harshly onto it.

"Did you hear this?" I asked Lewis, getting up abruptly, all my senses alert.

"This what?" He asked, his face frowned in confusion.

"I heard a splash in the lake."

"Relax, it's probably just some kids sneaking around. It happens a lot."

I pondered on that option for a moment, but my instincts were telling me otherwise. I focused on the sounds. It was as if someone was gasping for air.

"I don't think so. I think someone is in danger."

"What hearing you have!" Lewis mocked, but underneath I detected some jealousy. Woow, for a guy who could cause fires... I felt honored.

"We should go see what's going on."

"I don't know, what it they're skinny dipping? I don't wanna see that!"

My intense stare immediately shut him up.

"Fine." He sighed, getting up as well. "Let's go."

Without wasting another second, I turned around and used my senses to find the exit of the maze opposite to where I had entered. Lewis ran after me and in a matter of minutes we had gotten out on the other side. It was like situations of danger always sharpened my senses.

"Woow." He said. "That was impressive. I think I'll start bringing you with me to--! Hey, wait!"

I ran towards the lake like a life depended on that because perhaps it did. I searched for intruders once arriving at the edge. I couldn't see anyone but I was clearly hearing a struggle for breaths. Then a pair of arms emerged from the water and without a second thought I took my shoes off in a hurry and ran towards the lake. I froze once my feet reached the cold water, but I suppressed my distaste. My inner cat would simply have to deal with some wetness.

I dove in and started swimming frantically, my eyes adjusting under the water in search of the person. They were far from the edge, my ears could tell, so I continued swimming until I spotted them. It was a boy, not older than thirteen, quickly being dragged down to the bottom. Holding my breath, I swam towards him as fast as I could and my arms grabbed his torso to pull him up, but it was like trying to move the damn Lady Liberty.

After such an exhausting day I could literally feel my strengths leaving me when I most needed them. Because my name was Felicia Hardy and I could not have an easy day.

I struggled with my breathing underwater. My lungs were more resistant than most but I wouldn't be able to contain my breath for much longer without coming to surface, though I was afraid that if I let the kid go it would be harder to pull him up afterwards. Or too late.

Fortunately he was still conscious but I could see in his eyes how scared he was. His mouth was open, gasping for any atom of air, and I could feel my own lungs burning. Being surrounded by all this water was way out of my comfort zone. Every cell of mine was rejecting it, but I had to fight it. I wasn't going to let someone die because I couldn't face a pet peeve.

Come on, Felicia. It's just a kid. You've carried heavier.

As my throat started closing for the second time in that day, I went for a final push. It was either now or I'd have to go to the surface again. Ignoring how my arms were shaking like a freaking panna cotta, I gathered all my effort and took one more attempt to pull the boy with me. My leg muscles were hurting like hell from the effort of preventing me from drowning but I ignored the pain and forced them to move both of us up.

No matter how hard it was I never released him and finally managed to break the water's surface with my head, our noses breathing in as much air as possible, our mouths spitting water everywhere. I looked over at the kid. His face was purple but at least he was still conscious.

"Hey, I'm here." I remembered Logan earlier. His help. How he had made me feel calm and safe. I tried speaking in a reassuring tone, doubting I'd ever be able to make anyone feel that way. "I'm gonna get you to the shore but you have to help me, ok? You have to stay with me."

"I... I..." The boy tried to speak but all it came out was muffled, strangled sounds.

"Save your breath, don't speak." I said. "You're safe now, we're almost there."

I swam slowly with the boy towards the lake's edge, where he sat, shaking uncontrollably. I took my jacket off and covered his shoulders with it. I didn't know what I was doing, but I wasn't really thinking either. My instinct was my teacher now.

I gave him space to recover his breath and then asked "What's your name?"

"Rylan."

"Ok, Rylan... are you hurt? Can you talk?"

He nodded, and I didn't know to which question. Since he didn't make an effort to speak, I questioned "Can you tell me what happened?"

He shook his head. I clenched my fists. If this was bullying I would have to make another kid be expelled.

But then he spoke.

"I can't remember. Everything's blurred, I think I might have passed out at some point. It's like... I have this sensation I'm not remembering something very important. I went for a night walk and I think... I think I might have seen something I shouldn't and then... dark. The last thing I remember is falling onto the lake but I have no idea who threw me."

My eyes narrowed.

"That's too weird."

Rylan nodded and then smiled sheepishly at me.

"T-Thanks... if it weren't for you I'd..."

"Don't think about that. We should get you to the infirmary, you may need to be examined. And you need to rest. And I need to talk to Charles. Can you get up?"

The boy nodded, so we got up and started walking towards the mansion. When we were close, I heard another noise near the lake. This whole story smelled fishy. Every pun intended.

"Rylan. I don't like the idea of leaving you alone but I'm going to go back to see if everything's normal. Go see Charles, ok? Tell him what you know."

"Ok. Thanks... be careful."

I nodded, a lump in my throat, and made my way back to the lake. Everything seemed calm and normal, yet my senses were screaming something was off. And ever since Charles had told me to trust them, I did.

The owls kept calling. The wind kept blowing. And a shiver ran down my spine.

Something, or someone, was behind me.

I turned around frenetically. My eyes widened.

Wait, was that...?

Then I heard a bang and fell into darkness.

"This is the way the world ends," T. S. Eliot had written, "not with a bang, but a whimper."

Guess what, dude. You're wrong.

***

I woke up with the sun in my eyelids and a freaking New Year party in my head. It hurt so much. There was fireworks of pain everywhere. It took several seconds for my sight to adjust to my surroundings.

All I could see was white, and then suddenly, red.

I closed my eyes instantly. I was surely in hell if Jean Grey was the first person I saw.

"Felicia," She called, her tone urgent. "Felicia, are you awake?"

"Was it better if I wasn't?" I mumbled and for my surprise she sighed of relief.

"She's fine!" I heard her shout as I looked around. I knew it wouldn't take me more than a week to visit the infirmary. This school was like Hogwarts, a dangerous place being sold like a safe institution.

"She's awake?" I heard Logan's raspy voice before he opened the door and entered the room. I felt instantly safer for some dumbass reason. Like he was the doctor and not Jean.

"What happened?" I questioned, looking down at my clothes. Fortunately nobody had tried to change me into some hideous hospital gown. I still had my clothes on, now dried out. Still I felt so dizzy, so out of place. I tried to put some order in my thoughts but they were in a damn carnival fair, trying out all the carousels and rollercoasters available. I couldn't make sense of anything. This whole day felt surreal, and a part of me was still waiting to wake up.

"You... you don't remember?" Logan asked, he and Jean looking expectantly at me.

"If I did the bastard that knocked me out should be saying their last words."

"Logan, give us some space, please, I need to examine Felicia." Jean intervened and my face frowned upon the sight of all those medical equipment around me. I hated these procedures but I felt too weak to complain, and fortunately Jean examined me quickly.

"You have a bad concussion. Whoever hit you hit you hard and with something they knew would cause damage on you. Common symptoms are headaches, trouble thinking, focusing and remembering and mood changes. I gave you some medicine, and since you have a healing factor the symptoms should go away soon. You've been here since dawn when they found you by the lake. It's lunch time now, you need to rest." Her tone was formal and distant. Ugh, why couldn't she be one of those nice nurses that smiled at us and gave us cherry lollipops? Maybe Logan should give me one.

Clearly your mind is still not operational.

"Felicia?" Logan woke me up from the side effects of my trauma. "I know I shouldn't be pushing and I wouldn't if it wasn't important, but... anything you can tell us..."

I let my eyes close as I dove into my mind. The last thing I remembered... I had turned around. I had seen someone. Had I recognized them? I couldn't be sure. And then they had hit me with something and put me to sleep. Whoever it was knew who I was, because only with a really strong object could they knock me out so easily. "Rylan... where's... where's Rylan? Is he okay?"

I felt my throat dry and reached for it with my fingers. Jean's attentive eyes noticed and handed me a glass of water as Logan explained.

"He's alright. He's been here in observation and now he's talking to Charles. What happened to him is very similar to what happened to you... although with the aggravation of having being thrown into the lake. He told us you saved him."

Was it the painkillers tricking me or was his voice a little... proud?

"I just... I couldn't let him die." I said simply. Then I quickly told them what I remembered, from saving Rylan to being knocked out like I was nothing. I hated it. That feeling of being powerless again. I was a fighter in training and I hadn't even had the chance to fight. "I think we can say with certainty that the person that attacked Rylan was the same person that hit me. We both saw the person and they clearly didn't like it. We must have caught them in the act. They're trying to cover something up." I said, and both Logan and Jean nodded. "But why... for what?"

They shared a glance but kept quiet, and I hated being left out.

"I feel like shit." I declared. "I deserve to know."

Jean sighed.

"In reality we don't know, Felicia. Yours and Rylan's minds are still very confused and Charles is having a hard time finding the parts in your brains where that information could be hidden. He's incapable of accessing them properly which makes us think the material with which both of you were attacked has some cloaking property."

"Wait... is that possible? Do we know someone with that skill?"

"Emma Frost." Logan declared, and Jean's face immediately contorted in distaste. For someone who could read minds she wasn't very good at hiding hers. As long as she never invaded mine, I was fine. "She's a very powerful telepath but we don't think this was her doing. It's not her style. This was an action of someone desperate. Sloppy. Unexperienced."

"So we're back to square one." I stated. "No one knows who this person is or what they want."

"We do have our suspicions though." Logan stated, his eyes totally fixed on me. It was silly, I knew, but I couldn't help feeling a little special knowing he had Jean by his side and still I had his eyes all to myself. For the worst reasons, but, oh well.

"Who..." I was saying, but then remembered something else. Where was Lewis? Where had Lewis been this whole time? I knew he had followed me out of the maze, but I couldn't remember if he had arrived at the lake. "No, it can't be." I said out loud. "It can't be Lewis. He was with me when I heard the splash in the water."

Logan frowned but refrained himself. Jean didn't.

"You shouldn't be with him so late at night."

I wanted to tell her sex didn't have a specific period of time since that was clearly what they were both thinking about. Seriously, couldn't a guy and a girl just hang out peacefully?

"If you want to know what happened, why not look inside my mind?" I replied innocently, to which Jean's eyes narrowed.

"Let's get back on track." Logan scowled at me. It happened a lot, especially when Jean was present. Some people just brought out the worst in me. "Lewis might have had help."

"Logan..." Jean intervened, her voice so soft it made me want to punch something. "We can't accuse a student just because he has had some issues."

"Yes, Logan." I agreed, horrified. Jean and me agreeing? The world was about to end for sure. "His problematic behavior isn't enough to make him guilty of everything."

"I know that damn well. But he disappeared. No one knows where he is. Why can't Charles find him either?"

"Perhaps Charles should think about retirement." I said angrily. It wasn't Lewis. It couldn't be. Not after the talk we had. Not after what I had seen in his eyes, the things he had said. We didn't just share a moment like that for me to find out he was a traitor. That he was a trap and I his victim. "Gosh, take this tubes out of me. I want to help. We need to find Lewis."

"No, Felicia, you need to rest. You need to stay in observation." Jean argued.

"What I need is to punch something. Take this out or I will." I warned, not caring if I was being insolent. I couldn't stand being trapped in a bed with tubes piercing my skin. Not again.

"Jean, I think you should do as she says." Logan said and I smirked. Wise man. Jean pressed her lips but took the tubes out of me carefully. I didn't even flinch, got up and started walking, but Logan stopped me by grabbing one of my arms. 

"Felicia... there's something else."

"What?" I blurted out. "What could possibly make this situation any worse than what it already is?"

From the corner of my eye I saw Jean swallowing and glancing at Logan, but his eyes didn't move from mine.

"The school knows you're the Black Cat."

I laughed. It was usually my reaction upon imbecile situations.

"I didn't know you could joke." I said, in denial, but Logan's eyes were serious and immobile, and I felt the lump returning to my throat. Soon enough I would have to start charging its stay. My body wasn't a hotel for foreigners.

"Felicia, I'm serious. Someone leaked the information and you know how schools are... it spread like fire. Everybody's aware and--"

My fists clenched. "How? How is it possible? How did you let that happen?"

"We don't know the source, Charles is trying to find it as well." Logan informed. His eyes were insistent on mine. I could see he was trying to keep me here. "Seems like everybody knows from somebody else. We don't know who said it first."

But I wasn't hearing him. My mind was already playing all the worst scenarios.

"How? How could you..." I took a step forward, towards him. "Charles said you would keep it a secret! How am I supposed... how are they going to face me now? What if they talk to the freaking police? I'm wanted! What if they... arrest me? What if they take me away? How did you..."

I shut up when I realized what I was doing. Unconsciously I had started punching Logan's sculpted chest over and over again. And he was letting me.

"Felicia." He called urgently. "We won't let them do that. No one is going to denounce you."

"Yes." Jean agreed, her eyes fixed on my fists. I knew I wasn't hurting Logan, I didn't want to. I just needed to unleash my anger and he was letting me use him as the punching bag. Stupid man. "And mutants don't exactly have the best relationships with non-mutants. Many have had trouble with non-mutants law, the police and other organizations. No one will have any interest in accusing you. You're part of this school. We protect our own here. Nothing is going to change."

"Everything is going to change!" I retaliated. "But how did someone find out? The only people that knew were some of the teachers. Bobby knew I had claws but I don't think he made the connection to Black Cat, and it would never be him anyway. So who found out? And how?"

"We don't know—" Jean started saying.

"What do you know then?" I cut, I was so mad. So much effort to keep a low profile, to not have anyone find out... and just like that everyone knew. I didn't even had the chance to choose. Once again I found myself prived from freedom of choice. Everything was escaping my control. Black Cat was no longer my secret. Our... our secret.

I had made the mistake to think these people held all the answers. But in reality, they were only humans like me. Sometimes they felt lost too. Sometimes they also lost sight of the stars.

"We think it might have been the same person that attacked you and Rylan. To divert the attentions to something else. To prevent you from speaking in case the knock out wasn't enough to erase your memory. They probably thought that making you a target would make you run away..." Logan was staring at me the same way a warrior looks at another. "But it won't."

I shook my head. Everything was too confusing. Everything was too much. I felt the air struggle to come in and out of my body properly, and Logan noticed it too. He grabbed my fists that had continued to hit his chest, and I looked into his eyes and breathed.

Everything seemed easier in that light brown of autumn leaves. Funny how he smelled like summer, looked like fall and made me feel like spring. Everything was blossoming.

I dropped my fists because Jean was watching us like a hawk and I didn't want to get Logan in trouble for being nice.

"You're right. It won't. If anything it just made more resolute to find the bastard."

The side of his lips curled up slightly in a half smile. "Your help is appreciated. We think the attacker wasn't expecting you or Rylan to show up at night. We also believe it's someone from the inside, because it can't be a coincidence that this happened on a night when Charles wasn't here. We had to call him in and now he has a lot to discover, which buys the person some time. Whatever the person was doing, they chose the date carefully. They knew Charles wasn't watching and that Jean was asleep. Our only mind readers, unavailable. Then you and Rylan came into the picture, saw what you shouldn't and were attacked because of it. If we can make you remember... and we also have to look for Lewis. We have to keep the option of being him open. And if it's not him, well... then he's probably in danger too and needs our help."

I gulped. For some reason the idea of Lewis in danger twisted my stomach. And the idea of him being guilty twisted my spirit.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Logan questioned. I thought about how they could have thought I was the traitor, staging Rylan's salvation and my own attack to appear innocent. But they didn't doubt, not even for a second. And I was going to honor that trust by helping as I could. Even if it meant facing a school full of students with accusations in their eyes, since there were more pressing matters. But I couldn't help but wonder, and fear, how they would react to my not so secret identity.

I swallowed again, already guessing his next words.

"It means we have a spy in our school."

A/N: Picture is Jean Grey played by Famke Janssen.

So... who's the spy? What are their intentions? What happened to Lewis? How will the school react to Felicia's alter ego? And... am I mean for loving to keep you on the edge of your seats? ;)