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chapter thirty-one: ironically alive

Sam and I were sitting on a bridge that oversaw the tranquil river in the forest while the same ducklings waddled past us. Once more, I was struck by how clueless we were. Nothing was nothing, yet everything was everything. Everything was on a journey to nothing, and nothing was searching for everything. Sam was the perfect example of the works from Our Creator; many men attempted to bring her down or submerge her, but very few tried to pull her up.

I believed I had always followed the effervescent part of her road that lead to the chemistry far away. Her image was altered by her Raven, and with that, she turned the world bright and evil for me before.

Because she understood me, I wanted her to be whoever she was and I would continue to adore all she do. On the other hand, I wished to drift away from her source today. I yearned for her crests and troughs as she flew level in sinking heights like tongues swirled and shored.

My Wolf was burning up. I believed my Wolf was aflame. I felt for many more people than just her and myself as the Wolf inside of me took me to that strange place. A place I would consider to be you. Always, I felt so isolated. I yearned for the days of my youth when I had nothing but the freedom to roam with my head in the skies.

I am free once more. At least, I thought I was.

The Stag's ghostly voice continued to effortlessly nudge me to pay closer attention; to listen to the sound of my wall being scratched by sharpened nails. The Mountain Lion pushed his nails in deeper and deeper, and the Raven was my eyes, maintaining a piercing stare down at him.

The time had come to sharpen my canines and rip the beast to shreds and lay him to rest. I am the Wolf.

"So, anyway, that's kind of how I ended up at this university."

Shit. I haven't been listening to a word she was saying.

"Uhm, sounds hectic?" I said in a questioning tone of voice, hoping it was convincing enough.

"You haven't been listening to a word I was saying," she grinned as she shoved her shoulder against mine.

Guilty.

I jumped off of the bridge into a small puddle of water and observed the ducklings closely as I knelt near them. "Do you think our spirit animals are real?" I asked. By the look on her face, it could be seen as an unexpected question.

"Well, of course. They live in us," she responded assertively as she grabbed the bridge's railing and pushed herself up.

"I know that," I murmured. A dull duck came up to me. His feathers weren't fully grown since the down feathers still covered his neck and wings. He appeared to be the late bloomer among his mates. "I mean, do you think people can transform into their spirit animals?"

Sam stayed quiet for a moment as she glanced down at me. She was uneasy when I asked her. She rubbed the flesh near her fingernails while shifting her weight from side to side. "Is the question truly so silly?" I chuckled and extended my hand to her, providing some support so she could jump off.

"I don't think it's a stupid question," she said in a calming manner as she took my hand into hers; walking slowly next to the river. "I read about it some time ago, but never really looked into it beyond that point."

"I just feel like we as humans have such a strong connection with our spirit animals..." I said in a low voice, starting to doubt my thought. "My Wolf physically impacts me sometimes. How does your Raven connect with you?"

"In partnerships," she let out as she smirked over at me.

"You'll have to extend on that," I let out as I jokingly rolled my eyes.

"When I find people in the dark, I tend to give insight into their situations," she stated. "Time is an important factor to keep in mind. One who is worthy of the Raven's time creates the energy I need to push through. Though, I wish I could use it on myself," she added in a low whispered voice.

"What do you mean by that?" I questioned curiously.

"Though the Raven can make other people's journey brighter, I can't implement it onto my own troubles. Like my father," she sighed. "He dimmed my Raven's light as I sheltered away from him, causing my will to help others fade away."

I stopped and pulled her closer toward me, staring deeply into her eyes. "A Raven always needs a partner," I let out. "A worthy partnership will keep your Raven alive?" I asked with a small grin forming on my face.

"Yes," she whispered with a smile as she held my hand tightly,

"Could I be worthy enough?" I asked nervously as I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles.

She let out a chuckle and fixed her eyes on the ground. "Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"I guess it is," I smiled as I cupped my hands around her face. She pushed up onto her toes and tenderly pressed her lips against mine. Her lips were something I could never get used to. They were a pleasing symmetrical shape which were succulent and plump. They felt perfect against mine.

As she pulled back, our eyes remained closed for a few moments. "I've been waiting for you to ask me that since we met," she smiled shyly.

A sound of a stick breaking as though someone has stepped onto it forced me to pull Sam in a tight grip against my chest as I surveyed our surroundings. "We should leave," I whispered as I dragged her hastily by her arm.

"Wolf stop!" She pulled her arm back toward her and rubbed it vigorously. "You're hurting me."

My spine quivered when a loud whistling sound filled the forest. I took hold of her hand and pulled her along with me as I fled. She was beginning to show signs of fear, but she was now barely able to keep up with me. In the corner of my eye, I could see it. A mountain lion was on our tracks.

Sam soon sank to the ground, and I felt her hand slipping out of mine. Even though her knee was bleeding heavily, she didn't flinch. I became protective in response to the throaty yowls. I turned my head from left to right, my eyes wide as I thought about what to do next.

I knelt down to Sam to pick her up; her knee was swollen. "Wolf," she whispered in a frightening tone. "It's behind you."

I slowly turned around and was face to face with the beast. His golden eyes pierced through my soul. "Good kitty," I nervously whispered as I tried to back away.

Cats and dogs never got along.

The beast scrunched his lips up revealing its dagger-like teeth. He shrieked and hissed at me as his saliva spatted across my face.

This is it, I'm going to fucking die.

A shine peeled off the mountain lion's eyes as I made every effort to hide my panic. The eyes had lost their golden hue and were now painted black. I felt as if I were gazing into a black hole. Within a blink of an eye, the eyes turned gold again. The mountain lion let out a final chugging growl before running away.

I was holding my breath the entire time without realizing it when a sigh of relief escaped my body. I looked back at Sam, who had a pale, terrified expression. "Let's leave right away," I demanded.

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