Twenty-three years ago

"It's a baby boy, Ms Drewitt," the nurse wholeheartedly said as she handed me over to my mother.

She looked at me with pure love and joy. Her heart warmed up as she pulled me closer to her, hugging me tightly.

"You will be named Wolf," she said as she smiled down at me with tears in her eyes. "You'll grow up to be the happiest child and I'll make sure of that."

I stared up at her and looked into her striking blue eyes. The same eyes I had. Full of hope and love.

"Not to bother this joyful moment, but we'd like the father to come in and sign the papers for his birth certificate," the nurse said in a calming tone of voice.

"He's unfortunately away filming... something," she said still keeping her gaze upon me.

My mother held me tightly, fixated on my eyes and holding my tiny hand in her palms.

Ten years later

"Are you ready for your first audition, son?" my father asked as we stood in front of the auditioning building nervously.

"I guess," I mumbled as I followed him into the building.

I wouldn't say that the audition was a success. My father had to stay behind to speak with the individuals in charge of the casting while I nervously waited in the waiting area. Every issue my father encountered could be manipulated. His son's inability to succeed as an actor was one of those "issues."

"You got the part, son!" he yelled in excitement as the other kids frowned at their parents.

I didn't say anything as I looked around the room. My father made me feel guilty and embarrassed. Why would he announce it in front of all the other kids? He reduced my excitement for the roll to more of an uncomfortable feeling.

"I want to go home!" I protested as I got up and walked out of the building.

"Buddy? What's wrong? Aren't you excited?" he asked as he caught up to me.

"Nothing, I just want to be with mom!" I yelled as I tried to repeatedly open the locked car door.

My father huffed as we climbed into the car. "You know, you should be more grateful for what I'm doing for you."

"I don't want to become an actor!" I cried as I looked out at the window.

"It's in our blood, you're destined to become an actor," he said in a tone that sounded more malicious than sincere.

Seven years later

"And there's my son! I am so proud of you!" my father beamed as I walked out of a movie premiere co-starring with a very famous actress.

I ignored his dimwitted "congratulations" and strode towards my mom.

She smiled slightly, but carefully. Of course, my mother was incredibly proud of me, but she also realised that this wasn't what I desired to do with my life. She gave me a long, intense hug that felt like it would never end. I had no idea that it would be the last hug she would give me. I quickly hugged my father before heading over to their parked car outside the theatre.

"Rodger, are you sure you're okay to drive?" my mother asked nervously, knowing he had a few drinks in before.

"Honey, I only drank a little. Come let's go home, I'm sure my son is exhausted," he smirked as he looked over at me through the rear view mirror.

"My son." I hated it when he called me that. I never felt like his son. I only felt like an extension of him. My mother was the one who truly took care of me. She loved and treasured me more than my father and was the only one who could give me advice and hope for a better future.

The road was there, wide open and safe one moment, and the next, there were loud noises, pungent scents, and pain. A car crash is shocking, and books and films don't do a good job of conveying it. It is a sort of mental detachment that is similar to watching without seeing.

Hell and anguish began after the car crash ended. My eyes slowly opened as I made an effort to fix my blurred vision. Looking down at the fractured bone, I reached for my aching arm. I made a feeble effort to open my door as the car fell into bits.

"Mom!" I yelled as tears rolled down my face.

Her face was unrecognizable as her lifeless body was crushed up in the car. The sound of approaching police sirens was barely audible to me. My body only knew how to give out in agony and heartbreak. On the drive to the hospital, I shed all of my tears. I experienced such intense hurt and grief. My sole defender and caregiver had passed away in front of me, but I survived. My father didn't matter to me. I will never be able to forgive him for what he has done to my mother. His lifeless body can proceed to disintegrate where he killed my mother.

Present-day

I was laying in bed observing the nearby objects I've travelled with me to the UK. Lamp, water bottle, shoes. Lamp, water bottle, shoes. Lamp, water bottle, shoes. I let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. Seven screws. I trailed my eyes from one to the other, forming a perfect vertical line. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

As I got out of bed, I heaved a long sigh. I never planned to use counting to reduce my anxiety. I'm happy that it has improved with time, but it tends to return when I am alone in my thoughts.

I felt a tremendous feeling of shame hanging over me as I paced back and forth in my room. Ben was right. I believe it's better to be more domineering than meek and with that, I have a tendency to scare people away. Even though I didn't instigate the fight, I still need to apologise to Ben.

From the lushes cloak to the heavenly evergreens, spring flowers unfold, displaying their tender hearts. The heavens, the woods, and the dirt all have a whimsical quality. There is a unique brightness that begs the mouth to grin whether it is raining or shining. The trees will soon reflect the grass's lushness, and the flowers will shower our planet with a rainbow-coloured garland.

My steps seem to be composed into a steady rhythm by the blue sky to go with the songbirds. I picture it as a blank page painted in angelic hues, beckoning my creative spirit to ascend and soar. I heard a stag's faint footsteps while I lay on the lush green grass and peered up at the clear blue sky.

"Thank you for meeting me here," I mumbled as Ben cast a shadow over my face.

He took in position next to me and fell back onto his back, admiring the grass tickling his legs.

"I need to apologise," I let out as I plucked the grass out of the grass.

He turned to look at me with calming eyes.

"I didn't mean for us to fall out. I should learn how to control my temper," I said with a heavy sigh as I turned to look at him.

"Can I ask you one thing," he whispered as his gaze shifted back to the sky.

"Yes," I responded mimicking his tone of voice.

He let out a nervous sigh and asked, "Who started the fight?"

"Why would you ask such a question, if I know you're only going to take Arlo's side?" I frowned as my head tilted to the side.

Ben stayed quiet for a moment. His eyes became glossy as the slight breeze blew through his bouncy hair.

"Arlo pushed me and in response I hit him. It wasn't right... I guess, but he's also not at fault," I sighed as I pulled up my shirt revealing my badly bruised rib. "I'm sorry I hit him, I shouldn't have."

"Wolf..." he gasped as he sat up staring at the purple bruise. "Arlo told me a completely different story," he worryingly said as he gently caressed the bruise.

I quickly covered the bruise back up and sat up, crossing my legs. "I don't like Arlo. I know you love him, but I don't feel safe around him and I don't think you feel safe around him either," I admitted as I stared into his eyes with concern.

Ben didn't say anything after that. I could see he was contemplating his thoughts in his head as we walked back to the university and soon made our separate ways as we entered the dormitory.

Ben's POV

I slowly opened his door and was immediately greeted by a furious Arlo. "Where were you?" Arlo growled as he slammed the door behind Ben shut.

"I-I was busy working on an art project," I quivered as I slowly walked towards my bed.

"I've been looking for you all over this university. Every class, every art room and every bathroom. You weren't here!" he yelled as he walked angrily towards me.

"I went to talk to Wolf," I blurted out with still some hesitation in my voice.

"Wolf? The guy that punched your boyfriend?" he barked as he threw a glass bottle to the door, smashing it into a million pieces.

"Arlo stop! You're making me scared!" I cried as I pushed myself against the window. "He showed me how you punched him too, you lied to me!"

"I'm the liar? He's the liar! I never touched him! How dare you!" he growled even louder as he picked up a piece of glass and walked closer to me.

"Arlo no!" I yelled as my hand slipped out of the window with my body unbalanced.

I could feel my heartbeat bursting out of my chest as my powerless body dropped from the window. I fell past every floor of the dormitory in what seemed like slow motion. But it was over quickly, and I fell to the concrete floor as I was immediately enveloped in darkness.

Wolf's POV

As unintelligible mumbling permeated the dormitory hallways, a loud noise of trampling footsteps could be heard beyond my door. Bryan called for me to come out of my room as my door slammed open with him trembling in dread.

"What's happening?" I yelled as I jogged beside him between the crowd of people.

"Someone fucking passed away!" Bryan yelled. We ran past the police officers who were directing us to the university's main building as we emerged from the dorm. Sam, Quinn, and Adrian quickly joined us after we met up with Jared and Dante. Sam tucked her knees to her chest and fell to the ground while balling her eyes out. I didn't know how to feel. It was terrifying to be around another death, but I wasn't sure how to place my emotions.

"Does anyone know who died?" I asked as I knelt down, rubbing Sam's back.

"Don't you know?" Sam spoke as she raised her head and slowly turned to face me, her eyes a flaming crimson. She gulped back her emotions and said, "It was Ben," letting her head fall back to her knees.

"B-Ben?" Bryan stuttered as tears formed in his eyes.

We were interrupted by the president of our university with the mic blaring through the speakers.

The president announced in a soft tone, "Students settle down," and the entire building became silent. "We lost one of our pupils today, which fills us with deep sorrow."

His voice became distant and all I could think about was Ben and how I ought to have supported him. Losing someone is like getting cut and bleeding forever. Before you left us, Ben Elrod, my heart was just beginning to mend.